Chereads / My diary system in Marvel / Chapter 26 - C25 - Trying my best. . .

Chapter 26 - C25 - Trying my best. . .

E/d note: No more cookie tax required, please save your power stones for more deserving books! This series is trash and I am a trash editor! But I will continue to be the trash editor that will try to bring this MTL to you. 

'Inner dialogue/thoughts'

"Normal dialogue"

[System]

[Diary entries]

(Word count: 2,637)

~ With Luke ~

Opening his eyes, Luke released a heavy sigh, his recent adventures in the simulation still fresh in his mind. Checking the time, he was surprised to see that only a few seconds had passed. 'That was rather interesting.' Luke started, reflecting on the time he spent. 'This feature is getting more and more bizarre the more I figure out how it works.

'For one thing, there were some scenes that I went through which I had not written in the diary. In addition, my reactions and behaviour throughout had given me a huge surprise. It was almost as if I was a different person entirely. I was pretty sure that I did not write that I was a rebellious young adult in my entries.'

'Next, the simulation adjusts my "self" to fit the simulated world. I know that I have the experiences of being an agent and Avenger for over 10 years, I can even feel those experiences now in the real world. However, in the simulated world, it's almost as if those experiences were locked away. Moreover, I could not use the abilities that I was rewarded with by the system. This would make sense as it would be counterproductive for me to "live" through these simulation if I could just use my abilities outside of what I had written down.'

'Lastly, the time difference. I did not notice this the first time, but I sure did for this one. During the simulation, it had taken me to an earlier starting point in my career, the time where I had been a SHIELD agent for only a few months. However, there were instances where it had felt like I had jumped to the "future" but still retained memories of events that occurred in between. It was especially surreal jumping to the end of the simulation, while having memories of having gone through multiple special events such as birthday celebrations as I "jumped".'

'This didn't only happen in the simulation too. I know I went through "years" of living in a different life, yet only a few seconds has passed in this world. This is different from my first simulation, as in that simulation, I had at most spent an hour within it. So, what's the deal here. Is the Time Stone able to pick this up? Actually, has the other baldy noticed my appearance in this world.' As he suddenly thought about the current sorcerer supreme, known as Ancient One, he felt a shiver go down his spine. 'Holy shit. The Ancient One! How did I not think of her sooner?! Can she see me? Is she able to track any future deviations to me? What do I do?!'

As if responding to his panicked state, the system had suddenly prompted.

[Host need not worry regarding the Sorceror Supreme. The hosts' presence is concealed from prying eyes.]

'THANK GOD FOR THE PLOT ARM-' Luke did not finish this thought as he did not want to raise any flags in the future.

After finishing his reflection of his time in the simulation, Luke proceeded with his daily assimilation as there were even more experiences and knowledge he had to sift through now.

~ The next day, inside the Peach Blossom Café ~

"Pepper!" April shouted as she ran across the café to hug Pepper. It was still early in the morning before the café officially opened, when a dishevelled Virginia Potts had walked in. Everyone had read the breaking news that was released during the night, Tony Stark had been kidnapped. Videos of his kidnapping officially released by his captors.

The news was being spread everywhere – major mass media channels, news websites and newspaper articles, the early versions of social media, radio channels. Everywhere. By now, anyone who is not living in seclusion would have heard or read about the kidnapping.

Seeing Pepper embracing April while crying on her shoulder, Luke could only feel empathy for Pepper. "April, you can use my office, it's better for privacy and away from unwanted attention. The café will be operating in limited operations today, right everyone?" Luke announced.

"Yeah! What Sully said!" / "That's right boss!" Came the reply of Crystal and the rest of the staff.

"See, everyone knows. So don't worry about missing out on work today, sometimes there are things that takes precedence over work, and this is one of them." Luke said as he gestured with his head for April to head upstairs. April, seeing Luke's and her colleague's reaction, smiled gratefully before thanking them all as she guided Pepper to Luke's office.

Watching as the two ladies made their way up the stairs, Luke felt his heart getting heavier. The night prior, he had begun assimilating his most recent simulation, which had unexpectedly affected him more than the first time as he had personally gone through more of the experiences. He had already started the day with a heavy heart, however, the news of Tony's kidnapping and seeing Pepper breakdown publicly like that had made it worse.

Moreover, Luke was sure that Pepper had came across the rumours. Indeed, there were rumours spreading regarding the kidnapping, such as after the video was posted, Tony was killed on the spot, or that someone close to him or even the U.S Government had planned this kidnapping due to a multitude of varying reasons. The conspiracies ran deep, and although Luke knew who the true mastermind was, he was not about to reveal it, as this would put him in the spotlight. Something that he was not ready for at the current moment. As such, for now, Luke could only give as much support as he could for Pepper.

Sighing once again for the umpteenth time that day, Luke made his way behind the counter to prepare a beverage for April and Pepper.

~ Half an hour later ~

"April, it's me, Luke. May I come in?" Luke asked from behind the door to his office. Luke had taken his time, personally brewing the beverages himself.

"Yeah, please come in." April replied.

. . . "Uh April, could you get the door for me? I'm holding a tray, so my hands are kind of full right now." Luke said, slightly embarrassed at his oversight.

Opening the door, April smiled at Luke helplessly as she questioned, "Seriously?" April then gave a nod to Luke and took the tray from him as she silently gave him her thanks.

Scanning the room for Pepper, Luke found her sitting on his sofa close by his musical instruments, with multiple used tissues around her.

Luke's personal office did not follow the typical layout. Although he called it an office room, it acted more as his personal room away from his apartment in LA. The room had a shelf filled with books that he liked to read, a couple bean bags sprawled across the floor, a desk at the end of the office for when Luke needed to attend to official matters, a sofa with a small table placed in the middle of the room, and finally a musical corner – where there was an electric keyboard and an acoustic guitar. To pass his time, Luke would either be reading the books or playing some music from his past life.

Not minding the mess, Luke made his way over to Pepper as he crossed the room. "Hey there Pepper, I'm sorry to hear the news." Luke began.

Chuckling, Pepper replied, "Great, first I find out in the middle of the night that my boss get's kidnapped, and now I'm no longer 'Ms Potts' but 'Pepper'." To Pepper's credit, she had lifted the mood with her attempt at a joke as she stared pointedly at April due to April's outburst earlier.

"Oops, hehe. Sorry Pepps, it just came out when I saw the state you were in." April said as she placed the tray onto the table, looking abashed at exposing Pepper's nickname that Tony uses. "If it's any consolation, Crystal calls me Sully." Luke joined in the conversation, receiving amused glances from both April and Pepper.

"Anyways," Pepper started, "Thank for letting me be here Luke. It means a lot to me to have someone to be with at this time, away from any unwanted attention." Pepper said as she reached her hands out to April, to which April took and sat next to Pepper. "What are friends for." April said reassuringly while Luke nodded, conveying that he did not mind at all.

While holding April's hand, Pepper started, "It's just that, when I'm in the office, I can't stop thinking about the what ifs? The desert that he had gone to is one of the biggest in the world, he could be anywhere by now. What if he really is. . ." Pepper stopped herself, not having the courage to complete her words. "I'm trying my best to be okay, but it's so hard. . ." Pepper finished as April gave a gentle squeeze onto Pepper's hand to tell her that she did not have to go through this ordeal alone.

Looking at the two, Luke thought of an idea to cheer Pepper up, "You know, whenever I am feeling down, I like to distract myself by reading a book or playing my own music. You ladies cool if I play Pepper here a little something? That means you too, you nosy puppy."

Opening the door and entering the room was an abashed Crystal. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on anything, but I wanted to make sure that Pepper was alright."

"I guess everyone's just calling me 'Pepper' now," Pepper started, a tinge of acceptance in her tone, "But please go ahead Luke. I didn't know you could play music."

"Neither did we." Came the simultaneous response of April and Crystal, who had taken a seat at one of the bean bags close-by.

"It's not something that I do publicly. You ladies are probably the first ones to hear me play a song since I've opened this café." Luke revealed as he took his seat behind the electronic piano. "Before I begin, while the message is uplifting, the music is kind of sad."

With that said, Luke began playing "Trying my best" by Anson Seabra.

♬♪ "I know you think I got it all figured out cause," ♬♪

As Luke sung the starting line of the song, April, Crystal and Pepper were amazed and mesmerized by his soft and melancholic voice.

♬♪ "I walk around like my head's in the clouds but, I'm just a boy with his heart pourin' out of his head." ♬♪

♬♪ "I wish that you could see the pain that I've seen. All of the times I spent being not me. I hope you know that it's not always happy in my head." ♬♪

While listening to the lyrics, Pepper was taken back to all the times that Tony had caused her headaches and troubles. Not once had he apologised, and yet, somehow, she missed those times.

♬♪ "Cause I don't know. The perfect road to go down, but I know." ♬♪

♬♪ "I'm trying my best. I'm trying my best to be okay. I'm trying my best but everyday it's so hard. And I'm holding my breath. I'm holding my breath 'til I can say. All of the words I want to say from heart" ♬♪

'Is he hurting? His voice is filled with such, emotions. And those lyrics. . .' April thought as she listened to Luke singing.

'Did he just create this song on the spot?! This can't be a coincidence since the lyrics to that chorus was spoken by Pepper just a moment ago!' Crystal wondered excitedly.

♬♪ "If you really wanted, I could let you inside. It's been so long and I've got nothing left to hide. Would you believe me if I told you that I've got flaws." ♬♪

♬♪ Now it's time to let the curtains unfold. And tell all the stories that I didn't want told. I let it out so I unburden my soul, I won't stop." ♬♪

Hearing the lyrics from the chorus and the second verse, tears began forming in Pepper's eyes as she sniffled. She had a deep secret that no one but her knew regarding Tony. And if Tony was truly dead, then she knew she would regret not letting her secrets out.

♬♪ "Cause I don't know. The perfect road to go down, but I know." ♬♪

♬♪ "I'm trying my best. I'm trying my best to be okay. I'm trying my best but everyday it's so hard. And I'm holding my breath. I'm holding my breath 'til I can say. All of the words I want to say from heart" ♬♪

♬♪ (Piano instrumental) ♬♪

♬♪ "I'm trying my best. I'm trying my best to be okay. I'm trying my best but everyday it's so hard. And I'm holding my breath. I'm holding my breath 'til I can say. All of the words I want to say from heart. . ." ♬♪

As Luke ended, he turned around to see Pepper was silently crying into April's shoulder once again. Rooted to the spot in terror, Luke was met by two pairs of glaring eyes as he had made Pepper cry once again. 'What the hell? I knew the song was sad but, I didn't think it would be THIS sad! Don't look at me like that! I really didn't know she would react like this!' Luke cried out in his heart.

- End of Chapter 25 –

Next time in C26 - Luke, a Hero?!

"Let's say someone's been in Tony's shadow for over 20 years, but now has the means to overshadow Tony. Those 20 years is a long time to grow the feeling of contempt towards Tony." Luke dropped the hint.

E/d note: PHEW! Glad to have moved back into the MTL storyline with C25! C25 was written using MTL 23. In MTL 23, it started with MC and Pepper's reaction to Tony's kidnapping, which was rather plain and included weird one-liners like Pepper saying "No, I have to contact the private investigator now, as long as I can get Tony back, then Stark Industries is willing to offer a high bounty."

Like, first of all, you ma'am, are just the PERSONAL ASSISTANT to Tony Stark. You can't make decisions for Stark Industries yet. And second, the hell is a private investigator gonna do in the desert HAHAHAHAH. Anyways, it was followed up by a scene with Natasha which I wont even bother describing here because it was so unnatural and weird to me.

I hope you liked what I've done with the chapter, especially that ending scene! It was inspired by another Fanfic author "Alittlepiggy33" for his AMAZING fanfic of Modern Family "Re:Life with Karmic Gacha". However, I feel like the author FUMBLED HARD with the romance, AND it felt like the author of the fanfic CHANGED from chapter 170 onwards. The writing style was different from that chapter onward. About the romance, no spoilers :D But it's a triangle? Square? Just know there's drama, and no one gets the happy ending. I dropped it at chapter 170 anyways so I don't know how the romance is now, but it was a good 170 chapters that I read!

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