In a hospital that looked medieval yet fancy, with stone walls adorned with rich tapestries and flickering candlelight casting long shadows, a doctor in an ornate robe could be seen slapping the buttock of a newborn child
patt...pat..."hmm is this boy dead"
—Kazuki. His senses were slow to return, as if he were surfacing from the depths of a particularly bizarre dream. Everything felt distant and surreal, as if he were floating on a cloud, the sharp slap pulling him back to reality with a jolt. The world around him came into focus slowly, a strange blend of old-world charm and an odd sense of familiarity, though he couldn't quite place why.
Ahh this is what heaven feels like....But as the fog in his mind cleared, he realized it wasn't a dream—it was a reality as soft and comforting as it was utterly strange.
The first thing Kazuki became aware of was the sensation of being cradled in something soft—so soft that it felt like he was nestled in the center of a giant marshmallow. His entire body was cushioned, supported on all sides by padding that was as inviting as it was confining.
"what have i been treated ??and brought to hospital" .He wasn't quite sure if he was being hugged by an overzealous pillow or if he'd somehow ended up in a particularly luxurious bed. Either way, the sensation was oddly soothing, despite the confusion roiling in his mind.
Slowly, his surroundings came into focus. The softness that cradled him was actually a crib—a cushy, extravagantly padded crib, lined with fabric that looked like it belonged in a nursery designed for royalty. Above him, a mobile spun lazily, casting soft, playful shadows that danced across the walls. The lullaby that filled the air was gentle, a melody that seemed designed to lull even the most restless of babies to sleep. The room was warm, bathed in a soft, golden light that emanated from glowing orbs suspended in the corners, giving the entire space a dreamy, almost ethereal quality.
Kazuki's mind raced, trying to piece together what had happened. The last thing he remembered was the absurdity of a piano hurtling toward him, defying all logic and common sense. And then…(well who would remember the embarrassed moment of dying) nothing. no pain, just darkness. And now, he was here, in this strange, impossibly comfortable place, surrounded by things that felt both alien and oddly familiar.
Kazuki tried to move, but his limbs didn't respond the way they should have. They felt heavy, clumsy, and far too small. His eyes widened as he caught sight of his own hand—or rather, the tiny, chubby fingers that were now supposed to be his hand.
"What the actual—?" His thoughts raced as he tried to lift his arm, but it barely budged, flopping back down like a useless noodle. Panic flared in his chest, rapidly intensifying. He could feel his heart pounding—or was it his tiny baby heart pounding? This wasn't right. This wasn't him.
Kazuki's breath quickened, his tiny chest rising and falling like a malfunctioning bellows. He desperately tried to sit up, but his muscles refused to cooperate, leaving him trapped in his soft prison of blankets and pillows. He tried to scream, to demand answers from the universe, but all that came out was a pitiful, high-pitched wail.
Why can't I move? Why am I so small?
His thoughts spiraled as he looked around the room, taking in the strange mix of futuristic gadgets and medieval decor. It was like someone had raided both a sci-fi convention and a Renaissance fair and then decided to smash the loot together in one horrifying mash-up.
But the worst part was the undeniable truth that slowly began to take shape in his mind. This wasn't just some nightmare or weird hallucination. The pieces were clicking together, forming a picture that was as impossible as it was undeniable. He hadn't just woken up in some messed-up nursery.
He had been reborn.
"No, no, no, no!" his inner voice screamed as he struggled against the reality of it. But there was no escaping it. He was a baby. A tiny, helpless baby in a world that made no sense. The panic that had been simmering beneath the surface exploded into full-blown terror. What kind of twisted joke was this? Who had done this to him? How was he supposed to survive in a place like this?
His frantic thoughts were interrupted by the sudden realization that he couldn't even curse properly. His baby brain didn't know the words!
Oh, come on! He fumed inwardly, his frustration growing by the second. This was going to be a long, humiliating journey, wasn't it?
After he has settled down his inner thoughts, He glanced around the room again, this time taking in the details he'd missed before. The gadgets scattered around the nursery were unlike anything he'd ever seen, a strange blend of sleek, high-tech devices and ornate, old-world craftsmanship.
A tiny holographic dragon flitted above the mobile, its translucent wings shimmering as it soared in a playful loop before disappearing into a puff of glittering dust. The crib itself was made of some rich, dark wood, polished to a mirror-like sheen, and inlaid with intricate, glowing runes that pulsed faintly with energy.
Okay, to sum it up: I, Kazuki, have been reincarnated. This is new, he mused, trying to wrap his mind around the absurdity of it all.
Kazuki's new life had already been one big cosmic joke, but things were about to get even more ridiculous.
The door creaked open again, and Kazuki's "superhero dad" re-entered the nursery. This time, he looked even more dramatic, if that was possible. His armor gleamed, his cape billowed as if there was a fan somewhere in the room, and his expression was a mix of stern determination and what could only be described as paternal pride on steroids.
"lulululu..... my son! You're awake!" the man boomed, striding toward the crib with all the subtlety of a charging rhino. "Already, you've shown signs of greatness! The magic in this room responds to you as if you were born from the very stars!"
Kazuki, still recovering from his earlier confetti bath, gave his dad an inward eye roll. **Magic responding to me? Dude, I just kicked a rune by accident. Let's not get carried away.**
The hero leaned over the crib, his face inches from Kazuki's. "Look at you! Such power! Such potential!" He smiled broadly, his teeth flashing like he'd been sponsored by a toothpaste company. "Together, we'll conquer kingdoms, slay dragons, and—"
He was cut off by a loud, squelching noise. Kazuki had just filled his diaper with all the might and fury of a newborn who had no idea what was going on but wasn't about to hold back.
The hero froze, his triumphant speech halted mid-sentence. His nostrils flared as the smell hit him. "By the gods…" he muttered, his voice dropping from epic to utterly defeated. "What is that stench?"
**Congratulations, Dad,** Kazuki thought with smug satisfaction. **Your mighty warrior has just unleashed his most powerful attack yet.**
The hero stood up, clearly struggling to maintain his dignity. "No matter! This is a small trial, a mere trifle! I shall—"
He paused, looking down at Kazuki. Then, with an exasperated sigh, he turned toward the door. "Maaya! The child has… has…" He waved a hand over his nose, unable to even finish the sentence. "For the love of all that's holy, please!"
The hero, his face a picture of reluctant acceptance, glanced at the door and added, "Very well. My son's name will be Kazuki."
His wife, standing just outside the door, responded with a gentle, "Okay, dear."
Kazuki eyes widened in surprise as he looked back at his father, who was now the namesake of his own heroic legacy. Kazuki? That's the name from my past! Could it be… fate?
He stared at his son for a moment, as if trying to reconcile this tiny baby with the grandiose destiny he had envisioned. The hero's brows furrowed in thought.
**Is this truly the child destined to carry on my legacy?**
With a final, stunned glance, the hero practically fled the room, muttering something about needing to prepare for "the great battles ahead."
Kazuki snickered inwardly. **Yeah, you go do that, Mr. Big Shot. I'm sure fighting dragons is easier than dealing with this mess**
As Maaya set him down on the changing table, she chuckled softly. "Your father may be a great warrior, little one, but it seems even he isn't quite ready for the real challenges of parenthood." She started cleaning him up with practiced ease, her hands moving with the precision of someone who had done this a thousand times. "Don't worry, Kazuki. We'll have him whipped into shape in no time."
Kazuki looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes, but his inner thoughts were far from innocent. **Whipped into shape? **
As Maaya finished the change and picked him up again, the door burst open once more, and the hero reappeared, now holding a gleaming sword that seemed to glow with a faint blue light. "Kazuki! My son! I've just received word that the kingdom is under threat from—"
He stopped short as he saw Kazuki now contentedly nestled in Maaya's arms, looking like an angelic, freshly changed baby. The hero blinked, as if trying to reconcile the fierce warrior in his mind with the diaper-wielding infant in front of him.
Kazuki met his gaze with a perfectly innocent baby smile, but inside he was grinning like a maniac. **Sorry, Dad, but I think you've got bigger problems right now. Like maybe learning how to handle a dirty diaper without calling in reinforcements.**
The hero cleared his throat, sheathed his sword, and tried to regain some of his earlier bravado. "Right… Well, the kingdom can wait for now. A true hero knows when to prioritize!" He gave a decisive nod, as if convincing himself more than anyone else.
Maaya smirked, clearly enjoying the situation. "Perhaps, my lord, you should spend more time with young Kazuki. You know, to… bond."
The hero's face twitched, but he nodded. "Of course! Bonding! Yes, that's… crucial." He stepped closer, now visibly sweating. "How… how does one go about this bonding?"
Maaya handed Kazuki over, suppressing a laugh. "Why don't you start by holding him like this… and perhaps try talking to him?"
The hero took Kazuki in his arms, looking as comfortable as a porcupine in a balloon factory. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh… Hello, Kazuki. I am your father. And, uh… one day, you will… be a great warrior."
Kazuki looked up at him, deadpan. **Seriously? That's your bonding technique? Dude, just tell me a story or something. Hell, even burping me would be more effective.**
The hero fumbled for a moment, then awkwardly patted Kazuki's back. "There, there. We shall… conquer the world together."
Kazuki's response was a tiny, perfectly timed burp that echoed in the suddenly silent room. The hero froze, looking utterly bewildered. Maaya couldn't hold back her laughter any longer.
**Yeah, Dad. We'll conquer the world alright. Right after you figure out how to handle a burp.**
What's next? A fire-breathing teddy bear? A magical bouncy castle?