Kenny Jackson - Wednesday, November 13th
One can say that I had a rather eventful night.
I woke up at 3 o'clock in the morning drenched in sweat and since then I could not fall asleep.
I had a very unpleasant nightmare, in which I died. I know it doesn't sound very disturbing, but it seemed so real...
I felt all the pain, all the emotions like sadness, disarray and regret.
But it is not the first time either, we are in the period where I have nightmares, and they are most of the time rather violent.
Over time, I finally understood that those dreams came in a cycle.
This cycle, I have been living it since I was 14 years old.
Months like January, February and March were rather quiet, I knew that my dreams are generally sweet and not very hectic.
April, May, June and July, were dreams that I call "touristic dreams", during these 4 months I found myself completely immersed in strange lands, as if I had taken psychedelics.
My dreams during the month of September and October were "erotic", on this period of the year my nights were visited by a ... Man.I had never seen his face, but the way he touched me, his body on mine and his smell...
Even though I was straight, it would be a lie to say that this man didn't attract me.
And finally, the worst months of the year, November and December, I mainly dream of wars, they make me witness murder, and they make me live my own death.
So, yeah it took me two years to understand that, I was 16 years old when I finally had the courage to say it to my mother, and her response was "don't worry it will pass".
Right mom, it will pass...
She didn't believe me at first but then one time it was around the month of December, and we were at the house of my ant, she had the proof she needed to believe me.
I had fallen asleep on one of the couch and my dream scared the fuck out of me, so I ended up waking with a fucking panic attack. At that very moment, my mother finally realized that something was wrong.
And it was at this moment that my nightmare really started.
In principle, my mother was a strict christian woman, who wanted the best for her 4 children and cared a lot about her image.
And as a church woman, she had to show a certain image of our family and if someone came to know her son dreamed that according to her was possessed by a spirit was not a good image.
So I had to spend my late teens putting up with my mom, my dreams, college, exorcism sessions, church all Sundays without exception, doctors of all kinds and other people who were supposed to help me get rid of my dreams.
But they never left...
-
It's 8:25, I am in the agency checking the last shots of Yasmine, one of my photographers. My secretary, Clara Aragonés, takes care of my schedule at her desk.
"On June 28, in three months, you told me to make an appointment with Adriana Xenakis in Madrid for the magazine, '' Fabulosa''. '' she says as she goes up from her chair to show me her tablet.
''All right, we should start the workshops for the children and the trainings in animal and floral photography.'' I reply and choose the second photo. ''This is perfect, you can send my choice to Yasmine, please. '' I say, handing her the image. She returns to her desk with the photo and her tablet, then she checks he time on her watch.
''Kenny, the meeting is about to begin,'' says Clara, taking her things.
''All right, let's go.''
-
The conference room was on the 2nd floor, so we took the elevator.
'' Did you call Frida? She's going to be late again. '' I ask as I go out of the elevator.
''She told me she had to do something first.'' Clara replies.
We arrive in the conference room, many people are already present and those who did not have the opportunity to be there physically are connected via zoom.
''You think they're all here? And Frida is supposed to launch the meeting, fuck do I have an appointment ? " I whisper to my secretary discreetly as I climb the stairs to the platform.
''No, but you should start, you have a meeting with Mrs Jones in 40 minutes. Frida just sent me a message saying that she is here. '' she answers me quietly.
''All right, let's go. '' I stand in the middle of the platform where there are several chairs, including mine and Frida's.
''Hello everyone'' I speak in the microphone and the noise stops in the room. ''I hope you are all well.'' I see Frida who had just entered the room. I then give her the micro.
''Thank you, good morning. As you all know, those of you who will be free to go to this year's fashion week will be able to take a collective flight with us in our plane. And it turns out that this time, we will have the chance to have an interview with Mr. Aldini for his new project."
After starting the meeting with this good news, she continues her debriefing, and let me finish with the latest news and activities regarding the agency and some photographs.
The meeting was supposed to last about 1 hour, so I had to slip away a little earlier.
-
''But seriously you're not a little excited to meet him'' my sister asks me on the phone. '' This guy is super hot, super famous and super rich. '' I took vegetables out of my fridge.
I came back home around 8 pm, some friends were supposed to come, so I started preparing dinner.
''To begin with has done a lot of 'and', then of course I mean working with him will bring me money and publicity. But otherwise I'm not interested in his look. ''I roll my eyes and I start washing the vegetables. She was always like that, I mean I may be a photographer, but that didn't mean I was supposed to be interested in the look of every fucking human being.
''But you're not bi or something? And even if you weren't, you can't tell me this guy isn't a bomb,'' she laughs on the phone.
Oh, god she is so annoying. First, the fact that I dream about a man doesn't mean I'm gay or bi, the fuck. She knows I didn't like talking about that.
''Well Julia I didn't call you for that, I had some questions to ask you about your 'girlfriend you were talking about, who was doing so-called miracles, I need her contact'' I really feel desperate these days for any "cure" for my dreams. I feel stressed because of my job and I need sleep.
''Ohhh, now you're interested in her. After calling her a "quack"'she chuckles.
''Julia!!''
''Okay, I'll send it to you. But, you know, you can always go talk to mom or see doctors or a shrink, I don't know.'', she says in a concerned voice.
"Listen, you know I don't want to worry Mom and I don't want her involved in all this, so she'd send me back to church and I spent too much money on these doctors who said they could fix my insomnia and constant nightmares, so I ask you one last time my little sister who does not stop meddling in what does not concern her, I can take care of my problems all alone Thank you!'' I hang up quite suddenly, and I knew that I would end up regretting it, Let's just say Juliana is very resentful. I decide to call her back immediately.
''I warn you, you hang up on me one fucking time and know you won't have no arm anymore. '' she said of a threatening way on the phone. ''But seriously, I'm just trying to help you. I don't know about Mom, but I'm your sister and I only want your good. I can see you don't trust me anymore so yeah, maybe you should try with my friend, if you don't like her you can always insult her behind her back like you do so well. ''She tells me calmly.
''Yeah, I don't have so many options left...''