It was Gu Liping who initiated the divorce. This was probably the first time in more than 20 years of marriage that Gu Liping had insisted on her decision.
During the divorce, not only were all her relatives and friends very incomprehensible and took turns doing her work, hoping she would give up the idea, Yan Duo's father, Yan Jianjun, also firmly disagreed at first.
Yan Jianjun thought that he had always been pretty good to his wife, and the two of them were living a good life. He finally waited until his daughter had graduated, and maybe he would fall in love and get married in a few years. Suddenly, a basin of cold water was poured from his head to his feet, and he was He was confused.
Her mother, who had always been weak and unopinionated, suddenly became so stubborn. Yan Duo didn't understand it at first. When he repeatedly asked about the reason for the divorce, Gu Liping just said: "I finally got through it with you, and I have nothing to worry about anymore. This kind of I don't want to live another day."
When pressed further, the most Gu Liping could say was: "Your dad has never done anything to apologize to me. It's just that I can't breathe living with him. If I continue to live with him, I'm afraid I'll jump off the building one day."
After that, no one dared to persuade Gu Liping to give up the idea of divorce. Everyone speculated whether she had suffered from severe early menopause, and some even suspected that she suffered from a mild mental illness. Yan Jianjun was particularly angry. Gu Liping's words almost described him as a devil. People who didn't know better thought he was often violent at home.
It wasn't until two years after her parents divorced that Yan Duo saw a similar case in a book about gender relations. The book said that this kind of situation is mostly because women are used to making contributions to the family, but they don't get the corresponding response. s return.
A woman with Gu Liping's personality was willing to contribute to the family for free from the beginning of her marriage and even for a long time. As time went by, she felt that she was being treated unfairly, and she still just buried her dissatisfaction in her heart. , instead of choosing to speak out, suppress and suppress again and again until the emotions are completely out of control.
In Yan Duo's memory, Gu Liping always only considered what her husband liked to eat and what her daughter liked to use, never what she liked.
Family is the focus of her life and her own needs are completely ignored.
On the other hand, for a long time, the man in the family had made the decision. Although she was habitually obedient, she felt very aggrieved.
When such emotions have been dormant for too long, they are irreversible once they burst out.
The book said that there was a foreign woman who broke out in her eighties and stubbornly requested a divorce despite the dissuasion of her family. Yan Duo was speechless after reading this case.
There is actually a reason for the formation of Gu Liping's character.
Both Gu Liping and Yan Jianjun remarried. After Gu Liping's first marriage failed, she was very worried that her second marriage would also fail. In order to maintain this marriage, she always played a tolerant role in the marriage.
When Yan Jianjun was young, he was a very chauvinist man. His first marriage failed because his ex-wife was too assertive and not docile enough.
On the surface, Yan Jianjun and Gu Liping's weak personalities complement each other.
After Yan Jianjun turned 40, his temperament changed a lot and he was already developing into a good family man. Macho chauvinism is no longer popular these days. Women must have some personality to be cute. Yan Jianjun also lamented once when he was older: If it were him now, the first divorce would definitely not have happened, and it would not have happened at all. There will be Yan Duo.
Gu Liping, who had endured it for more than ten years, already had a heart problem. She didn't notice her father's changes at all and just lived according to her habits.
To be honest, Yan Duo always felt that if his father hadn't softened his temper later, his mother would have been clamoring for divorce a few years ago.
Later, Yan Duo told Gu Liping this case analysis. Gu Liping touched it and felt that it made sense. At that time, Gu Liping's mood had improved a lot, and there was no sign of mental instability at all. It seemed that she had really returned to normal after the divorce.
Yan Duo sighed secretly. If his parents had understood the problems between the two parties earlier and adjusted their relationship appropriately, they might not get divorced at all.
Afterwards, Yan Duo also told his father about the matter when he was free. Yan Jianjun wanted to defend himself at first, but in the end he remained silent. Anyway, it is impossible for the two of them to remarry. Telling him is just to let him live a clearer life, and save him from worrying about what went wrong all day long.
Today is the weekend, and we have an appointment to go to grandma's house.
Mom started to pack things to go to grandma's house. She carried a bag of salted duck eggs she had pickled and a bucket of rice wine given by others. While packing, she asked Yan Duo: "Are you going or not? If you don't go to lunch, you will be on your own." It's solved!"
Yan Duo hurriedly said: "I will go later. There is nothing at grandma's house. If I go early, I will just stay there in a daze." In fact, she wanted to play games for a while before going.
Gu Liping wanted Yan Duo to visit her grandma, so she definitely had no problem with it. She started talking about things like "Don't forget to take an umbrella when you go out", "Put on some sunscreen", "Don't leave too late". Yan Duo's grandma's house is only two streets away from Yan Duo's house. It only takes ten minutes to walk, so there is no need to take a car.
Gu Liping seems to be in high spirits now, and there is no sign that she was in a mood not long ago.
As soon as my mother spoke, my father thought that the alarm had been lifted, and he began to silently take the things in his mother's hands into his own, with a hint of silent attentiveness.
Yan Duo laughed at him for being "dog-legged". In the past, Yan Duo would not dare to tease his parents like this.
Yan Jianjun touched his chin and pretended to be surprised: "Such a handsome bitch?".
Gu Liping, who was not very happy at first, couldn't help laughing and scolding the father and daughter.
Yan Duo now feels that her father is actually a person who really wants to live a good life and often uses actions to please her mother. Unfortunately, her mother has not received the attentive signals from her father at all. Instead, she often feels that her father is taking over everything. Don't give her a chance to make the decision.
Needless to say, my mother's problem, but the biggest problem on my father's side is probably that if my mother doesn't express her thoughts, he thinks there is no problem, and the silence is just because he loses face.
Only a long period of silence will make him realize that "his wife seems to be angry."
These two people are like one in the high frequency band and the other in the low frequency band. Neither of the signals sent by the other party can be received.
Even if it is accepted occasionally, it cannot crack the other party's password.
Yan Duo had never realized the danger signals hidden in silence before.
Yan Duo believes that instead of letting his father learn to decipher the signals sent by his mother's "radio", it is better to first make his mother willing to express his wishes and dissatisfaction. With a way to vent his emotions, resentment will not accumulate in his heart. .
It's best to have a good talk with dad about this. Now he is more able to listen to what others say, and it's easier to communicate. Unlike mom, who is soft on the outside and stubborn on the inside.
Of course, it would be better if we could do both.
After all, this is not a problem that can be solved in a few sentences.
Before the couple left, Yan Duo asked them to take half of the cold drinks they had just been given, saying that their aunt and uncle's children could eat them. In fact, Yan Duo was not going to eat these sweet cold drinks in order to lose weight, so he left half of them. It's because my parents eat it occasionally.
Of course my mother has no objection to bringing things to my parents' house, and my father has never been stingy in this regard.
While packing the cold drinks, Yan Duo took the opportunity to praise: "I heard Brother Shucheng and Ruirui say that uncles and aunts are the least willing to bring things to grandma's house, and they have to murmur for a long time when bringing a bottle of sesame oil, but my dad is more straightforward, just say No nonsense."
Gu Ruirui is the daughter of her uncle's family, three years younger than Yan Duo. She often says that her mother, Yan Duo's aunt, is stingy. As for Yan Duo's cousin Sun Shucheng, he is a boring person who doesn't like to talk at all. It is absolutely impossible for him to treat Yan Duo. To speak ill of his parents, Yan Duo brought his uncle along with him in order to highlight his father's merits. Anyway, his mother would not ask the two children to verify the truth.
But from Yan Duo's perspective, her aunt is actually quite straightforward and not a stingy person, but her uncle is indeed a bit stingy.
My mother said noncommittally, "Your father is a man of few words."
"Last time, grandma praised my father and said that his son-in-law did a great job."
My mother pursed her lips and said happily: "How come everyone is like a flower in your grandma's mouth? Last time she even praised your uncle and said she knew how to buy things."
The whole family laughed after hearing this. That year, my grandpa was ill and my uncle's mother came to visit her parents-in-law. The price of unsalable watermelons dropped sharply. As a result, she bought six watermelons in one go, packed them in a sack, and put them on the back seat of a battery car to transport them. Come on, I'm so exhausted carrying it up to the third floor.
As a result, grandma and grandpa couldn't finish the meal, so they called Yan Duo to get two.
Afterwards, my grandma kept praising her family for their hard work, but my mother thought it was too weird to give six melons to a patient when she came to visit her. Not to mention whether the patient could eat cold food, it would be bad if she left it at home after eating it. So A little unhappy. I didn't say it in front of my uncle, I just made it a joke when I got home.
The whole family laughed for a while, and Gu Liping told a joke about the time when she and her father were first introduced to each other, and his father went to her grandparents' house to be courteous and help repair furniture. Knowing that he was his future son-in-law, grandma and grandpa were very enthusiastic, pouring water and delivering towels. Dad didn't say a word the whole time. After repairing the furniture, he left silently. Grandma and grandpa thought he was angry and hurriedly called to ask. Did Gu Liping and Gu Liping have a quarrel?
The next day, my mother dragged my father to explain, saying that he was actually a little nervous and didn't know what to say. Yan Duo couldn't believe that his father, who was married for the second time and had a son, was still so young.
Although he had heard it countless times, Yan Duo still burst into laughter.
The couple left with their large and small bags, and Yan Duo hurried back to the room to open the game.