On Monday morning Albus Dumbledore, dressed in a set of ridiculously expensive, ridiculously colourful robes and matching hat, was whistling to himself as he made his way into the great hall for breakfast.
There the great wizard was greeted by a wave of antagonism that was almost palpable, emanating from three of the four houses as well as the staff table. He just knew this had to do with Potter, especially as they were all reading newspapers.
With as much dignity as possible he grabbed an issue off the nearest table and the screaming headline sent waves of pleasure throughout his old body, it would be his last happy thought for quite some time.
Boy-Who-Lived Dies
by
Lord Harry James Potter
Late last week the boy-who-lived and everything he stood for died in the infirmary of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His place was taken by Lord Harry James Potter who is nobody's pawn, and will protect his family and friends to the death, leaving the rest of the wizarding world to go screw itself!
We really need to congratulate Minister Fudge, Chief Warlock Dumbledore and Death Eater Snape for achieving what Voldemort has failed to do in all his attempts, push me to the point where I don't care if he takes over because he can't be any worse to me and mine than those already in authority.
The reason behind this change of heart is simple, an innocent man who has spent twelve years in Azkaban prison without even being questioned, far less given a trial, was going to have his soul removed by dementors kiss, despite evidence clearing his name.
Sirius Black is my godfather, an innocent man who has never even been charged with a crime, and definitely no death eater, yet found himself incarcerated in the maximum-security wing of the hell on earth that is Azkaban.
My mother and father gave their lives fighting Voldemort and defending the greater good but it wasn't worth it. Their sacrifice not only resulted in their son falling under the 'protection' of Albus Dumbledore but their best friend was thrown in prison.
While the innocent Sirius Black was incarcerated, death eaters with enough gold shouted loudly that they were 'under the imperius curse' and our beloved, bribed leaders let them walk among us still, some even working at the ministry and, of course Hogwarts.
Each of the three wise men had their own reason for wanting my godfather out of the picture and they are all less than pure, here they are:
The minister wanted Sirius kissed for the positive headlines this would generate in the Daily Prophet, looking good is far more important than doing good. Did I spell your name right Cornelius Fudge?
Dumbledore wants him out of the way because Sirius is my legal guardian and might start asking awkward questions like 'why was I kidnapped as a baby and placed with muggles when my parents will expressly prohibited this action?' To late Albus I already know and also just how much your wrinkly old hands have stolen of my fortune.
The only person death eater Snape hates worse than my godfather is me, this was a win-win situation for him, as killing Sirius would also hurt me. Our beloved minister of magic was even going to reward him with an Order of Merlin, quite ironic when you think about it.
You see death eater Snape spied on a confidential conversation and reported it to his master, Voldemort. This led directly to my parents having to hide but unfortunately they trusted another death eater with their secret location and here's the ironic part, the ministry awarded the traitor with an Order of Merlin. Being the ministry though they couldn't even get that right and awarded it posthumously while the rat is still alive.
Yes Peter Pettigrew is still alive, I saw him, I spoke to him, along with other witnesses but the three wise men didn't want to listen, Sirius was going to be kissed for all the wrong reasons.
Pettigrew escaped again that night; the person who sold out my parents and murdered twelve muggles has gone looking for his old master. Make no mistake Voldemort will return, I have already banished him three times now but those days are long gone.
It's time to find a new champion and may I make a couple of suggestions, Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape should have a lot more time on their hands since they wont be lying, manipulating or stealing from me anymore.
Some might think my reactions a bit on the harsh side so I have decided to bury that mythical character the 'boy-who-lived' and tell the real life story of Harry Potter.
Once you have read it, all I want is for you to ask yourself this simple question, if this was your experience of the magical world would you still be prepared to sacrifice your life for a cause that you no longer believe in?
I already know my answer.
What followed was a true life history of Harry Potter, from being left on a muggle doorstep on a cold Halloween night, note pinned to his blanket through all the major events up until, and of course including, the minister's announcement that Sirius was to be kissed without delay.
What was more poignant and shockingly reinforced his claims more than words ever could were the wizarding pictures taken of pensieve memories of the more unbelievable parts of the story.
An incredibly thin, plaintive ragamuffin that was a seven-year-old Harry, sitting quietly in his pathetic cupboard, frightened to make a sound.
Voldemort's face coming out the back of Quirrell's head and trying to kill an eleven-year-old Harry Potter.
Harry killing a sixty-three foot Basilisk with the fabled sword of Gryffindor.
A small boy plummeting to the earth after being attacked during a school Quidditch match by dementors the ministry had placed there for his supposed safety.
Peter Pettigrew in the shrieking shack pleading to Harry for his worthless life, four other witnesses watched while Snape lay unconscious on the floor.
It was a compelling story that shattered the myth and instead showed a child who had been abandoned, abused, manipulated and lied to by just about everyone he had met in his life. Surviving the killing curse was now going to be considered the least of his achievements, surviving his life since that night was a far greater deed.
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