As the healer pointed his wand at my sprained ankle, my eyes met those of Sophia, who was waiting for me at the infirmary door.
"She almost seems to want to incinerate me with her gaze..."
She had not spoken to me since we had left the classroom.
"How bold of her to tell me I'm wrong to think she's always angry when she acts like this."
But for once I was sure that wasn't the case.
I could see a small bleeding wound on her lips and at that moment she was clenching her fists so hard that her arms were shaking.
It was as if she was doing everything in her power to stop herself from doing something. I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
So as we walked silently towards the great hall to eat, it was me who stopped her this time.
«What is it?»
«Come with me.»
I grabbed her wrist and led her towards the courtyard.
«Why are w-»
«Sit down.»
Sophia frowned.
«Are you trying to get back at me for how I treated you earlier or something?»
«No,» I replied as I took a seat on the grass, «quite the opposite. I want to repay you. It's clear that something is wrong with you... I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it.»
Hearing these words, something trembled in Sophia's expression and then...
«OW! What are you doing... Sophia?!»
The girl had literally thrown herself at me, sending me sprawling.
Sophia pressed her face into my chest and squeezed me tightly. I could feel her hands on my back, clinging to my shirt. Her grip was so tight, as if she was afraid I would vanish into thin air if she let go.
I soon realised she was crying.
«Sophia...»
She spoke between sobs, her voice muffled from being pressed so tightly against me:
«I-if you try to look me in the face... or y-you laugh... I will never forgive you...»
I ran a hand through her hair.
«It's ok, it's all over... You can vent all you want.»
Now that the crisis had passed, it seemed that all the emotions Sophia had kept bottled up to appear strong in front of me were coming out.
Her crying just got louder.
«I was so scared... I couldn't move a muscle and... and at one point I could only see you out of the corner of my eye... it was horrible!»
Many would have found it strange that this slender little girl crying in despair was the same person who had fought brutally in the tournament not long before.
For my part, I was just happy that Sophia finally trusted me enough to show me this side of her.
"I wonder what Sophia would be like now if she had had a normal upbringing..."
She probably would have been a normal girl who didn't mind showing her true feelings.
"But then... maybe she wouldn't be the Sophia I like so much."
But that wouldn't have stopped me from beating up her parents if I got out of here alive.
We stayed like this for a few minutes.
Gradually, Sophia's crying became less and less, until it disappeared altogether.
It was then that I rose up and slowly pulled away from her.
«I said I wouldn't forgive you!» Sophia muttered, avoiding my gaze.
"It's not my fault that you're so cute..." I thought as I wiped a tear from under one of her eyes.
She probably would have killed me if I had dared to say those words.
As I looked at her flushed face, my heart began to speed up alarmingly.
"Again... there really is something wrong with me..."
«...that's why I'm sorry...are you listening?» Sophia blurted, bringing me back to reality.
«Umh... sorry...»
Sophia sighed:
«I said I'm sorry! I promised to protect you, but when you really needed me, I was completely useless.»
«It's fine!»
«Fine my ass!»
That fleeting moment of weakness seemed like a distant memory now that Sophia's face was alive with anger.
«I fucking hate... being powerless! I've fought every day since I was fourteen to be stronger... To be so... unable to do anything, I find it... unbearable. If you hadn't protected me...»
«I'll do it again!»
«Huh?»
«I'll protect you as many times as it takes... If I was able to fight Finch, it's because of that. The fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of losing you!»
All anger seemed to vanish from Sophia's face in an instant, replaced by a stunned expression.
I giggled:
«Does the thought bother you so much? You've saved me so many times... even today, in a way. Let me do the same for you!»
Sophia seemed to be about to say something, but was interrupted by the door to the courtyard opening.
«Amy?!»
It was indeed her.
The girl's eyes darted between Sophia and me.
«I... didn't see you at dinner... so I thought I'd find you here. But if it's a bad time, I can wait for you.»
I ran to her and hugged her.
"I wonder what the hell she thinks we're doing..."
At that thought, my heart started racing again.
"There really is something very wrong with me..."
Amy returned the squeeze weakly.
At least it was progress.
«Sorry Amy... after all I said to you yesterday... I didn't give you a good show today...»
"I sound just like Sophia..."
But Amy shook her head:
«You were amazing and... you were a bit scary at the end.»
"Oh..."
During the fight I hadn't thought for a second about the consequences of my actions.
"Maybe this time I'll really become a pariah like Sophia..."
«Amy, I have decided not to hesitate any longer. If it means saving you, Sophia or even Celeste, I won't make any more excuses.
I understand if you don't want to be around a selfish person like me anymore... but I will continue to protect you from a distance!»
Amy stared at me.
«You've changed, Lizzie... but so have I, so... we can both start afresh, don't you think?»
«Amy!»
A shy smile lit up the girl's face.
«You know... seeing you be so pathetic at first, but then get back up and win without using magic... it made me think that maybe one day I could do something like that too.»
«Did you have to say that first part out loud?»
We both burst out laughing.
Maybe... in spite of all the changes, things could at least be a bit like they were before.
«Now you two better come to dinner. You don't want to duel on an empty stomach!»
"Oh... shit."
I'm sure Celeste would be furious with me if she found out that I had completely forgotten about our duel.
***
I was nervous again. But for completely different reasons than before.
Celeste smiled at me brightly as the countdown began.
I was terrified of losing.
But not because of the idea of giving up the 1,000 points at stake, or even because of pride.
I was frankly too physically and emotionally exhausted to think of such things.
No... what worried me was how Sophia would react if we lost.
Not only was she was already upset about being useless in the previous duel, but this was Celeste we were talking about. If she lost to her... I shuddered.
Her words to me earlier, when I had pointed out that we had no strategy for this fight, had only made the situation worse:
«Don't worry, after the duel with Finch I'm in the mood to beat them up. We'll crush 'em!»
But I wasn't at all sure.
...3
2
1
As in a previous duel, Sophia threw her sword forward in an attempt to distract Celeste. But of course the girl expected it, and without flinching, she shouted:
«Gravity Surge!»
"Oh fuck!"
The spell was so powerful that Sophia was crushed with such force that her cheek touched the ground.
It seemed that Celeste had become much more proficient at this spell than I was.
"She's probably been practising for the last three weeks..."
I pointed my wand at her without hesitation. But the spell I cast was immediately intercepted by Philemon.
"Damn..."
I feared this would happen. Celeste would hold Sophia down while Philemon took care of keeping me in check.
I had hoped the girl would choose a more entertaining strategy. But it was clear that she was determined to win.
I began to hurl my entire arsenal of spells at Philemon, doublecasting them. But it was useless, the boy was an impenetrable wall.
"Now I'm beginning to understand why Celeste hates to duel against this guy."
Meanwhile, Celeste had started bombarding Sophia with small stone projectiles.
"Things look bad..."
The fireball I had thrown hit Philemon's water shield, who then summoned a stone one to neutralise the following electric dart.
"I have to go all out..."
I pointed my wand in the air:
«Meteor!»
"Let's see if you can deflect this!"
But the boy pointed his wand at Sophia.
«Gravity Surge.»
"HUH?"
«Meteor!» shouted Celeste.
"Shit!"
They had swapped roles.
My meteor collided with Celeste's and exploded above the arena.
"I shouldn't have taught her this spell!"
We both had to summon a dome of water to protect ourselves from the falling fiery fragments.
Meanwhile, Sophia had managed to get up on her knees, probably thanks to the fact that Philemon's spell was weaker than Celeste's.
She was in a pitiful state...
Suddenly, cracks began to appear in the ground where her sword was embedded.
But as they reached Philemon, Celeste shouted:
«Levitate!»
The boy floated in the air for a moment before landing safely, the gravity spell still active.
I tried to take the opportunity to hit her with a spell, but Philemon used doublecast to create a shield.
I had seen enough.
"I know you will hate me for this..."
«I surrender!» I shouted, holstering my wand.
These two had prepared a countermeasure to any action we might take. If we had continued to fight, I might have been able to find a hole in their defences. But I had no intention of watching Sophia being tortured any longer.
Philemon released the spell but remained visibly wary.
Sophia turned to look at me with her mouth open. But it was only for a moment. Her expression quickly changed to one of contempt as she dropped her sword to the ground.
«The winners are Fitzroy and Hargrave!»
***
«Will you stop acting like this? You know very well that I am right.»
«And you, for the umpteenth time, will you stop following me?»
Perhaps it was fate that every time we seemed to be getting closer, something would happen to drive us apart again.
It was late at night now. Sophia and I were alone in a deserted corridor. I had waited outside the infirmary door for a long time for her to be treated. When I had tried to enter with her, she had made such a scene that the healers had forced me out.
«Not until you start talking sense!»
«We have nothing to say to each other!»
Luckily we were still a long way from the west wing or I was sure we would have woken someone with our screams.
«Tell me, what the hell was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to wait until you were in a pool of blood?»
«No one gave you the right to decide for me!»
«It's not my fault that you're so damn stubborn! If I hadn't yielded, you would have continued until you got yourself killed!»
«All you had to do was mind your own business and keep fighting. We could have won!»
«Oh, and how, pray tell?»
«I... would have found a way... I certainly didn't need your help.»
Blood rushed to my head.
«Oh, like you didn't need my help against Finch!?»
Sophia turned even redder with anger.
«You have the nerve to speak when I had to drag you around on a leash all day!»
She turned on her heel to leave.
"It's happening again... no, it's worse this time."
Sophia was behaving irrationally, just as I had not long ago. But her insecurities had a much deeper and more traumatic origin than mine. Had I let her go now...the rift between us might never have closed again.
If I had learned one lesson from what had happened today, it was that I had to keep the promises I made.
"I promise you that I will make things right. And from now on I will try to be more reasonable."
I sighed and took a deep breath.
I chased Sophia and grabbed her wrist.
«If you don't let me go right now, I'm going to cut your arm off.»
Maybe in her state of mind she really would have done it.
But I didn't let go.
«I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things to you. And I know you're sorry for what you said to me. I don't want it to be like December. Let's talk about it... please.»
Sophia stood motionless for a few moments.
«Alright...»
We sat side by side on the floor, our backs against the wall.
«I... I was really afraid you would get yourself killed. I know how important it was for you to win... but I couldn't bear to see you in that state. I'm sorry.»
«I know. I know you're right... I'm a hypocrite. I'm acting like a kid, exactly like you did in December...»
«That's OK...you put up with my tantrums and I'm more than willing to put up with yours. But... I don't want you to look at me the way you did in the arena...»
«I... I'm sorry. It's just... it hurts. Losing to her... was absolutely something I didn't want to happen.»
«For... what you explained to me, right? I don't think you have to take it so hard... We gave everything to win against Finch and we didn't have time to think about a strategy against Celeste - I'm sure no one will ever think you're weak after the way you fought today. One day you'll fight her again and win, I know you can do it!»
«I... thank you, but... it's not just that. I know the conditions of the duel were against me, but... I really wanted to continue being unbeatable.»
I sighed:
«My girl, forgive me for saying this. I understand that your parents were idiots and put strange ideas into your head. But why the hell should you be invincible? You have an incredible power, but at the end of the day you're just a girl like the rest of us, not some kind of legendary hero.»
«That's the problem... I don't want to be just another girl...»
I looked at her confused.
She turned her face away.
«What do you mean?»
«It doesn't matter...»
«If it made you lose your head like this, I'd say it matters!»
«I... don't want to talk about it. It's... embarrassing.»
"Now she's pissing me off again."
I reached out and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, forcing her to face me.
«Does this particular position remind you of anything?» I asked her as she lowered her eyes, «You have made me say so many embarrassing things back then that you have no right to remain silent now!»
Sophia just looked down.
«You know, I didn't tell you the whole truth back then. I was afraid of your terrible temper. I was afraid that you would hate me forever if I told you that I didn't want you to fight Chloe because of your mana. I was afraid you'd think I underestimated you. Maybe I was right... look how you're reacting now.»
Sophia finally looked into my eyes.
«You lied to me...»
«Yes... but I want to stop lying. From now on I will only be honest with you... so tell me what the hell is going on!»
Sophia seemed to think for a moment.
And then:
«I... I didn't want to lose in front of you... to her on top of it.»
«Huh?!» I loosened my grip.
«I... all the compliments you always gave me, the fact that you said you admired me... it actually made me so happy... I know it's pathetic, maybe it's my self-esteem... but I can't bear to look weak in front of you.»
«Weak...? How could I ever think you're weak?»
«OK, let me put it another way.... I want to be the strongest because... I want you to have eyes only for me.»
By now my hands, still holding her, were limp.
"Me and her... we're not so different after all..."
«You're such an idiot!»
«You make me say this stuff and then you call me an idiot?» blurted out Sophia.
«Yes, because you don't understand...»
«Understand what?»
I put my arms around her neck and whispered softly into her ear:
«At first I was interested in you because of your power. That's why I approached you. But it's been a while, hasn't it? We've gotten closer and then drifted apart before getting closer again, but we've gotten to know each other anyway.»
I paused for a moment.
«You are so much more than your power, Sophia. There are so many more sides to you than just the invincible warrior. And I like them all.
I like when you think of the nastiest ways of teasing me.
I like the way your cheeks blush so easily when you feel embarrassed.
I like the way you are so brave despite your weaknesses.
I like how you always manage to make sense of the most complicated situations.
I like how, despite all the injustices you have suffered, you have remained extremely kind.
I even like the fact that sometimes you act like a little girl, like in this case.
Even if your power disappeared and you became the weakest in this academy, you would still be the most special person to me!»
After these words, I retreated.
However, as I pulled away from the embrace, without thinking, my lips kissed her cheek lightly .
I felt her body suddenly stiffen.
I jumped to my feet as if I'd been shocked.
«Well, think about what I said! Good night!»
I ran away, leaving her there, petrified.
I ran and ran, never stopping. When I reached my room, I slammed the door behind me.
Maybe I was hoping to shut out the thought that was haunting me.
I let myself slide to the floor.
«That... that was practically a... confession of l-»
I refused to say that word.
But it was useless. I could no longer run away from the truth I had discovered a while ago, but I had done my best not to look at.
"It had to be now that I told her that I want to be honest with her..."
How could I resolve this situation?
Perhaps the first step was to accept it.
«It was... a confession of love. I am in love with her.»