Lowly, I hear my stomach on the verge of eating itself as I blindly enter the cafeteria with my nose buried deep in between the crevice of my Pride and Prejudice novel, unwilling to even allow my gaze to shift away from the imaginative words swirling across the brownish pages.
After I started reading the darn book, I just couldn't find it in me to put it down. It has me hooked on it like some sort of crack I constantly need. I'm an addict, addicted to a book.
Then I realise how tired I am of this week already.
First, I lose my sketchbook and go berserk over one of my friends finding it, then my pinkie gets slightly broken by Riley in gym accidentally apparently, and after that I get blackmailed by a former crush. I am just glad that we only have two days left before the weekend can save me from this horrid place. The people in it are annoying, the teachers in it are annoying and the school work is also starting to slightly get on my nerves.
I just need a break already.
Today Franklin made me lunch, so I don't have to wait in that very long line just to eat. I immediately spot Taylor waiting in it and when she sees me, she waves wildly and boldly. People eye her weirdly, but she merely shrugs their gazes away.
I simply stretch a wide grin at her before remembering that I don't have anything to drink so I quickly ask Taylor to buy me something. Her head bobs up and down, indicating that she heard me.
Sitting at the very same table from Monday, I wait for her to finish buying her food. Pulling my lunch out, my grin widens when I see that Franklin packed me the fried chicken, chips and the burger from his diner. Admittedly, I would kill for some Gua Bao right now, but this will have to do. Pinching the chip between my thumb and index finger, I curse the fact that they're cold, but I eat them either way, because cold or not, chips are, and will always be, an Achilles' heel for me.
I put my focus in the book, imagining myself in place of the strong-willed, fainthearted Elizabeth and Mr Darcy being the arsehole he is in my head. For some weird reason, I can't help but compare him to Dominic. Dark, emotionless and rude.
"Starr," someone calls, causing me to jump in fright.
"Jesus," I exclaim, trying to calm the way my heart is beating erratically. Imagine my shock when I look up to see Dominic. "Why the hell do you always creep up on me like that?"
Swallowing a breath, I place a bookmark where I last was and irritably shut the book close. I didn't even hear him nearing me which in itself is scary. Is he secretly a panther?
He chooses not to reply to my question and takes the seat beside me, shuffling his chair further away from me to keep a large amount of space between us. I stare at him weirdly but brush off the action to focus on the other enquiry pestering me.
Why is he here? In this rowdy, crowded place? He has never set foot in the cafeteria. Ever. I know this, because I would spend most of my breaks in the library just watching him reading books by all the bestselling authors.
"Is this your first time in the cafeteria?" I ask him, voicing my thoughts with a bemused frown. "I don't think you've ever set foot in here, even when we started schooling here."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you used to stalk me." He pretends to be shocked and I frown at his faked flabbergast. "Oh, wait! I do know better. I watched all your vlogs; listened to how you'd watch me in the library at break like a fucking creep."
"So, is that it? You came here to gloat about having my vlogs?"
"As nice as that would be," he pauses and shakes his head, "it's not enough encouragement to bring me to this chaotic place." He looks around at the rowdiness in disdain.
"So… why are you here?" I ask, taking a chip and nibbling on it quickly.
He first looks around cautiously as if that's not suspicious enough and then unwillingly, the legs of his chair loudly scrape against the floor as he closes the distance between us to whisper, "Did step one go as planned?"
"Nope." I pop two more chips in my mouth.
"Good." When he realises what I said, he stares at me as if he misheard me. While fluttering his eyes in bemusement, his head tilts to the side. "Wait, what?"
"No. It did not."
"Why not? What did you do wrong?"
"Nothing. Jodie just doesn't wanna be friends with me. Apparently, she can't have any negative energy around her before the final football game, because it'll interfere with the positive vibes she's trying to emit. Her mum showed her how to sense that about people. I guess, I have negative energy around me. She also said something about my aura being a murky green. Whatever that means. Besides, I like murky green."
"Aargh, it was your sketchbook I had to find," he groans in irritation.
Pulling his beanie off, he quickly runs a hand through the unkempt mess on his head. Just as fast as he took it off, he fits the hat back on, a few strands escaping in the front. Defeat shines in his eyes and for a nanosecond, my sympathy for him grows a little.
He really does like Jodie, doesn't he? I mean, at first, I thought this was some kind of joke. A way for him to punish me for annoying him back in the ninth grade, all throughout to the beginning of tenth grade. There is no way he likes my former best friend, I convinced myself yesterday. Besides, he's not her type. I can't see someone like Jodie with someone like Dominic.
"This is a sign for you to just give me my stuff back. I'm obviously not the right person for this job; already messing up the first step of your precious plan."
"You know what?" he muses and when he stares off into the distance, it seems to me that he's thinking my words over in his head and in the end, he slowly fixes his dark gaze back onto me and ends with, "No. This is just a minor setback. We'll have to try something else."
I roll my eyes in annoyance, dropping my head into my chest defeatedly and the sympathy I was feeling for him is replaced by vex.
That's not exactly the response I was waiting to hear. I was hoping he would realise that I'm useless when it comes to anything regarding his plan to eventually be Jodie's lover and then let me have my incriminating things back, but he just keeps surprising me... the unpredictable prick. He's never going to free me from this prison, is he?
Most people wouldn't realise how happy I was when Jodie said that she didn't want to be associated with me anymore. I mean, I was offended at first, because let's be honest, I was doing her a favour. But once she started speaking about negative energies and dark auras, I thanked God for dodging that bat-shit crazy bullet.
"How's about you just grow some balls and talk to her?" I suggest, trying to keep my frustration off my expression and blatantly failing. "Contrary to popular belief, Jodie doesn't bite. In fact, she's probably one of the most easy-going ones in their group, so I don't understand what you're so scared of."
With that being said, I turn away from him and palm my burger in both hands, taking a big bite out of it. Through the corner of my eye, I glance back at him to take in his reaction to my words and I'm satisfied to see him at least pondering them.
Hesitantly, I slide my lunchbox against the table over to his side and offer him my chips. He looks down at the lunchbox blankly, blinking slowly as if he's having a difficult time comprehending what's happening. He doesn't seem keen on accepting my offering.
I encouragingly prompt him to take the chips. I'm not comfortable with eating in front of someone who isn't eating as well. It just makes me feel… bad. In my mind, I'm thinking the other person is probably hungry and I'm just making it worse for them.
I hope he doesn't reject my food as well. I think I've had enough rejection to last me my whole life. Dominic has rejected me before, James has rejected me and then Michael. Even Jodie rejected me for my murky green aura.
Fortunately, he takes the lunchbox. Reluctantly.
Throwing my head over my shoulder, I see Taylor still in the line. She's behind the boy who's behind the other boy who's paying for his food. She's not looking at me since her attention is being occupied by the girl behind her. I don't recognise her as a senior.
"So," he starts again, and I avert my gaze from Taylor over to him, "taking into consideration all the factors and pros and cons, what is the possibility of Jodie not rejecting me?"
"Ninety nine percent," I answer without even thinking about it.
"Really?"
I have to purse my lips to stop myself from bursting out in laughter at the hopeful sparkle in his brown eyes.
I still can't believe that he likes Jodie. It's just so weird and I cannot seem to wrap my mind around it no matter how hard I try to. Why does he like her? What makes her his type? The wild and adventurous streak, he said. Wasn't I wild enough in the past? Wasn't I adventurous enough? Or is it, because I was neither wild nor adventurous at all back then? I am not wild and adventurous now either. I guess, deep down the real question is not why he likes her. It is more what she has that I didn't have. Probably tits… oh, and a vagina, I guess.
"Oh, sorry, I thought you asked what the possibility of her rejecting you is. Yeah, all things considered, it's probably a ninety nine percent chance."
"What?"
"That's Jodie Dillon for you, mate. She is a mysterious, misunderstood creature and I have heard about everything she likes in a guy."
"Which is?"
"Spontaneity, showing affection, love, joy," I list off the top of my head the first few things I can think about, and in the end, I mutter straightforwardly, "Pretty much everything you're not."
I take another bite out of my burger to think my words through in my head. When I said he's not her type, I meant it. Jodie would never be caught dead dating someone like Dominic.
"Care to elaborate on that," he says through gritted teeth and I don't miss the glare he's directing at me.
Awkwardly, I avert my gaze and after gulping my food down my throat past the unexpected lump that has decided to appear through my nervousness. "Well, it's just that, she is the type of person who likes it when guys surprise her at unexpected times and you just don't seem like the kind of guy who would go to such lengths," I explain.
"I don't follow," he tells me while shaking his head, somehow confused by my words.
"I mean, she likes it when someone does something memorable, and is memorable for a start. You might be one of those things, but also, you're obviously not the other."
"What?" he murmurs, blinking rapidly.
"Jesus Christ," I exclaim irritably, scowling up at him in disbelief. "How are you this confused about what I have just said. Are you an AI trying to understand basic human emotions? Am I supposed to do all the thinking for you as well?"
"Well, unless you want to become a YouTuber," he threatens again and almost automatically, my face sets in a dry, flat expression, "you better jump start those neurons."
"You know," I begin, pursing my lips to hide the agitation fighting to escape me, "all you have to do is politely say, 'Seong Jin, please advise me on how to woo a girl. I'm completely clueless since she is the first girl I've ever had feelings for... it's the first time I have actually had feelings at all'."
"Shut up and tell me."
My eyes roll upward. "This one time, one of her exes set up a candlelit dinner at the beach for her and she wouldn't shut up about it for about a week and this other time, another ex of hers bought them tickets to a concert even though she could probably afford one herself. I guess, it's just the thought that counts. By the way, her favourite band is Panic! At the Disco. For future references."
He frowns.
"Also, you need to show her your smile bones a lot more than the amount of times you actually do."
"Smile bones?" he muses, bemused.
"Or at least when she's around you," I continue without answering his musing, because I can't imagine him smiling for even one second. "If you're always frowning and moody, exhibit you, then you'll make her feel like what you look, frowny and moody."
"If she really likes me," he starts and I don't miss the contempt in his tone, looking down at me as if he's explaining something to a child, "she'll learn to accept me for who I am."
"Yeah, well, she doesn't like you so…" The frown on his face deepens at my words and after averting my gaze to again roll my eyes, I shake my head at him. "Oh, by the way, you need to be a really good kisser."
"What?"
"Yeah," then earnestly, I say, "Like really good."
"Really good?"
I bob my head up and down. "You shouldn't make her want to choke on her own tongue. Jodie is easily turned off and if it turns out that you're a horrible kisser, she will definitely gossip about you with her friends and the rumour about your horrible mouth-to-mouth skills will spread all over the entire school before you can even blink."
Now he looks confused.
"You also need to have hard abs."
"Holy, how long is this list?"
"Pretty long. I don't need to elaborate on that. If your body looks like Joey's then you better get yourself a gym membership card or get it packing with some steroids because Jodie will not even regard you if you are as skinny as a boy who is just recently going through puberty."
He blinks a couple of times, trying to wrap his mind around all those things, but he seems to be having trouble doing that. His face slowly falls as if reality is splashing him with the coldest water and that spark that was in his dark eyes dims down into nothing yet again.
Is it evil that I feel no sympathy for him now? I mean, let's not forget that this is the guy who firstly, silently rejected me and is now blackmailing me.
"Well, I mean at least there is a one percent chance of getting her to date me. That counts for something," he murmurs hopefully.
I lean into him and whisper in his ear, "I rounded down."
His gaze abruptly shifts down onto me from how close I am and before he can yell at me to get out of his personal bubble, a shadow hovers over us from across the chairs we're sitting in and I glance up to see Taylor who is watching me like I am the enigma I always claim I am. Her gaze shifts over to the person sitting next to me and the expression on her face blanks out.
After a few more seconds, she presses her lips into a thin line and I notice the juicebox in her hand almost being squeezed in her tight grip. Then her eyes are on me again and she's glaring at me. Awkwardly, I avert my gaze.