Time: 14:10. Location: Psychologist's office, Hoover High School.
"When I count to 3 you will come back to me, Veronica. Do you understand?"
The girl on the couch nods.
"1... 2... 3"
Veronica opens her eyes slowly. Her gaze is stranded on the ceiling fan, but her mind tries to unravel the blurry images that appeared during the reverie.
"Welcomo. Did you see anything new?" asks a soft, masculine voice. The girl turns her head and faces the school psychologist, who from the leather chair gives her his most reassuring smile.
Gordon is a slender man with delicate mannerisms. One looks at him and immediately doubts that he can survive any kind of fight. That "vulnerability" is perhaps what makes him such a good psychologist, none of those who visit him feel threatened or oppressed, on the contrary, they appreciate him, hence the turtleneck sweater he wears was embroidered by one of the students.
Veronica lets out a sigh and begins to recite her visions as she has done in past sessions.
"A burned-out building... Rain... Blurred silhouettes... The backstage of a theater... A children's choir singing... The sound of a drum, or of cloth tearing, it is not clear to me... And a mirror where a dozen of my faces are reflected... That's all"
That's not all, Veronica avoids mentioning the most lurid image: a younger version of herself, practically a child, dancing ballet on a pool of blood. Veronica thinks if she mentions such a thing they'd call her father or put her on a watch list.
Gordon nods. Instead of trying to elucidate what the visions mean as they have tried before, the psychologist blurts out a more direct question:
"Does your father still not talk about your childhood?"
Veronica nods, her face becoming heavy with regret.
"He says it doesn't matter anymore, that it's better this way. It's a miracle we survived the car crash, and he's happy about it. What difference does it make if I've forgotten everything I've lived through before? We are left with the present and the future"
Even if I paraphrase James' words, Veronica suffers from feeling that years of life have been stolen from her, years of love and happiness impossible to recapture, hence, against James' wishes, she opts to meet with Gordon in a futile effort to clear up the memory holes.
"What if he's right?" Gordon asks without wiping away his parsimonious smile, one hand framing his shaved jaw. "What if forgetting, instead of being a curse, is a blessing? I know many people who would love to get what you have, Veronica. Or does the truth matter that much?"
The girl is silent for a few seconds before answering. When she faces Gordon, the schoolgirl's gray eyes look determined.
"Dad taught me that a painful truth is preferable to a comfortable lie"
Not only does she speak as a daughter defending the values instilled by her family, she also speaks as student council treasurer and model student. To the teachers Veronica is an honest and trustworthy girl, to her classmates a nerd, but also someone incapable of stabbing you in the back.
"I understand. We'll continue exploring your psyche in the next session. Just remember that 16 years is a very short time in this world... Take it easy"
"Thank you, Dr. Gordon. See you in a week"
Veronica gets up and leaves the office. As soon as she walks through the door, the girl changes her sorrowful countenance to a focused look and a friendly smile, and it is with that same mask that Veronica greets the teachers and classmates she meets in the hallway. She looks like the typical American girl, pretty, untroubled, and so bland that it's easy to lose her in the crowd. Her little brother, Jason, always tells her she would make a fantastic poker player.
As she enters the student council room, her expression melts into a more tired, natural one. Veronica wants to lie down on the couch and lie there for several minutes, but her plans are disrupted when she hears an argument. Near the shuttered windows are Clarissa and Stefan, the former pointing a dictatorial finger at the latter.
Clarissa has the air of a beast, and not only because of her blonde hair, but also because of her attitude. At first, the soccer team described her admission as a formality in a campaign for female inclusion... Which is partly true, the director advised to push for gender parity in all areas. But that doesn't detract from the fact that after Clarissa broke the arm of a player from an opposing team, her teammates began to view her with better eyes, and then with fear as they understood that the same unbridled fury could be directed at them and God only knows what would happen to their reputations if they struck back.
Stefan is the opposite of Clarissa. The student council president is a petite, light brown-haired, short, vaguely effeminate-faced boy who nevertheless has half the female students in love with him. He's simply a cute, confident guy, who unlike Veronica whom many consider obnoxious, Stefan is able to get along with everyone even when his round-framed glasses make him look even more nerdy. However, any trace of confidence Stefan might have shown is shattered by Clarissa's words... Veronica wonders to herself how such disparate people could have been together since high school.
"You said we were going to Marylena's party! Now I'll look like an idiot and a liar! Do you like that, Stefan? Do you like it when people say I'm lying, or that I'm the only stupid girl who attends without a partner?"
"S-Sorry, but I'm really busy with the reports for the headmistress and-"
"Shut your mouth and let me finish!"
Stefan is startled by the scream, almost as if he had been slapped, and by the way Clarissa bends down with her fists and teeth clenched, it seems that she felt like doing it... But Clarissa has been aware of Veronica's presence for a while now. The quarterback forces herself to take a deep breath and calm down, crosses her arms, and faces Veronica with a haughty and annoyed countenance.
"Can't you see we're on to something, Vera? Get out!"
Veronica gives her best business smile.
"My name is Veronica. And as far as I know we're in the student council room, not pre-marital disputes. Maybe I should call a professor to help us clear up the matter?"
She glances sideways at Stefan. The president keeps his eyes glued to the floor, preferring to ignore the matter. Veronica turns her attention back to Clarissa, or rather the blonde forces her eyes to meet his as she grabs her by the collar and lifts her up. As Clarissa is taller than Veronica, the latter must stand on tiptoe, but even in that threatening situation Veronica's conciliatory mask remains. The athlete's lips curl upward and she shows every one of her white teeth.
"You're a brave piece of shit, you know that?" The words come out smacked between her biting smile.
"The manure helps fertilize the soil, I'll take that as a compliment"
Clarissa lets out a single laugh and releases the collar of her blouse. She looks over her shoulder and shoots Stefan a look of: Talk to you later. When the girl quarterback leaves, Stefan lets out the air he's been holding.
"Thanks for the help, Veronica"
The girl adjusts the collar of her shirt and faces the president, gray eyes now looking like stone.
"Cut her off" Veronica says.
Stefan make an embarrassed smile, it is evident that this is not the first time Veronica advises him to break up with Clarissa.
"Believe me, when you get to know her you realize that deep down she is a good person" says Stefan scratching the back of his neck.
"Cut her off" She repeats, and walks over to the coffee pot on the counter at the back of the room.
"It's not that simple... We've been together for years"
"Cut her off" she insists, and pours herself a cup of dark coffee.
"Have you ever been in love?"
Veronica takes a few seconds to answer.
"No" She turns and takes a sip of her coffee. After savoring it and panting from the caffeine refill, she asks: "Would you kill for her?"
"Where does that come from...?"
"Answers the question, Stefan"
Stefan moves to her side, sitting on the counter. He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and removes his glasses to clean the lenses.
"It's one of those moral dilemmas, isn't it? Like the one about whether you'd kill baby Hitler to avoid World War II. I really don't know if I could.... And you, would you kill for a loved one?"
Veronica thinks of her father and brother, and you imagine them under the gun of an assailant. Would you kill the assailant to protect them?
"Yes"
Stefan laughs, clearly thinking the girl is joking. How could he not think so? No normal person would answer such a question seriously and without hesitation. Veronica, as far as she can remember, has never had any misgivings about murder. She understands that it is illegal and that killing innocents is wrong, but she doesn't shy away from the thought of doing it. It took her a while to realize that thinking that way is strange, but she learned to hide that insensitive side, a facet that she does not consider so peculiar. That Stefan is still in love with Clarissa, that does seem crazy to her and worthy of Gordon's study.
"Help me with the reports" says the president, willing to get through the ordeal with a little work.
"I finished them yesterday"
"You're a lifesaver, Veronica. Can I buy you some of Mario's pizzas, then?"
"Clarissa will kill you if she sees us"
Stefan's smile takes on a mischievous tinge.
"Then let's make sure she doesn't spot us"