It seems that I do have feelings for Cesare after all. I find myself thinking about how we could be together until the end and get to know each other better during that time... I'm afraid I'll suffer if I'm with someone as important as him... I just hope everything will change starting next week.
"Antonio!" Cesare began to call me.
"Yes, what is it?"
"Well, you know... Today is Sunday and as you know, the pope celebrates morning Mass at St. Peter's Basilica... Do you want to go and see what's happening there?"
"If you say so... Let's go!"
Immediately after taking a very relaxing and warm bath, we set off towards the pope. Or rather, towards where the service was to take place.
As soon as we entered, all eyes were on us. I felt embarrassed by it, but Cesare held my hand, which gave me courage.
Well... This 15th-century basilica looked a bit different from the one we see today, but it resembled it. The main altar with the throne where the pope sat, the various secondary altars, and other beautifully decorated spaces, separated by the high columns of the basilica, amazed me with their simplicity and nobility. The paintings were also spectacular and impressed me.
"Let's sit down there..." Cesare said, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Wait... Don't you think it's too upfront there?"
"Honestly? I don't think so... Plus, usually, the priests sit upfront to see the ceremony better."
"Okay... I guess it would be fine..."
We went to the spot indicated by Cesare, getting very close to the main altar. We sat on the bench and admired the splendor of those around us. It seems we came a little early, but we waited another 15 minutes for Pope Alexander VI to arrive. At one point, the choir behind us started singing a hymn in Latin, which impressed me. I was especially impressed by their angelic voices and how they were united as one voice.
The procession begins. Everything is so spectacular. Different bishops and cardinals walked in front, dressed in white, followed by the pope. The pope was seated on a chair adorned with all kinds of crystals and precious stones, being carried by some quite powerful men for such work. In that procession, I could see a very well-known person. Who, you may ask? The cardinal's secretary, of course...
To my surprise, he greeted us with a brief bow, to which I responded in kind. However, in that gesture, there was boundless falsehood. Why is this man so false? Why does he behave like this with an insignificant priest like me? Why does he behave like this with Cesare? Questions I hope to find an answer to.
In the end, the pope passed by us, blessing us with a very smiling face. I think even Cesare was surprised by that. Usually, from what I understand, he doesn't smile much at all, but since my appearance, he smiles often. Hm, it seems I really am an angel... Just kidding, it doesn't matter.
"Look at Cardinal Borgia's secretary... Poor fellow will be replaced in a few days," someone from behind said.
"All because of the cardinal... You don't know how perverse that man is? Ultimately, he wants a younger secretary so he can..." the person next to him began.
"You shouldn't speak like that about your superiors, don't you think? The last one who did was found dead in a canal in the city," Cesare said, visibly irritated.
Honestly, I feel sorry for the cardinal's secretary. But still, I hope someone much more faithful will become secretary in his place. Someone like Cesare... Well, we don't know what the future holds.
The Mass began, and the pope gave his blessing. From the papal throne, at the right time, he delivered a sermon about love.
"Love cannot be merely given. Love must be responded to with love. As the Word of the Lord tells us today about the love God shows us, to which we must respond with love and respect. Some of you may love certain people but receive nothing in return. Nevertheless, I solemnly ask you not to give up, but to continue. Eventually, those people will change, don't you think?"
Cesare was beside me, and I could see how he received the pope's message. Maybe it was even about him... Or maybe he felt that all the things he does for me are in vain. I think eventually I will overcome my principles and respond to his love... I just hope I won't go to hell for it, though...
After the Mass ended and we partook in communion with the other priests, the procession began to leave, heading towards the exit.
Everything was wonderful until...
"My foot!" the cardinal's secretary exclaimed in pain.
I don't know what happened, but when he passed by me, this person simply fell. Wait, I think there's something going on...
People in the area came to help this wretch and ask him what happened.
"Father Antonio, what have I done to you for you to hinder me like this. Because of you, I won't be able to walk anymore... What do you think the cardinal will say about this? Right in front of the pope, you did this?"
"Wait, what? I-I didn't do anything. I just stood here, watching the procession. I didn't trip you."
"Why do you lie, Antonio? Do you think the pope or Cesare will be able to get you out of this now? Rome has laws, and according to Rome's laws, you should be locked up for such behavior!"
"No, I didn't do anything. Cesare, help me!"
"Excellency, considering your advanced age, you might have stumbled on your own..."
"No! Antonio tripped me! He's to blame!"
The pope descended from his throne and came to see what was happening. Of course, this bishop kept his lie even in front of the pope.
"Antonio, why did you do this? He is ultimately a venerable bishop. Although I support you, I cannot agree with something like this... Guards, take him!"
"Wait, what? Even..."
I didn't have time to finish my sentence because three soldiers from the pope's guard came and took me away. I was taken outside and brought to the prison in Rome, into a cell where I was alone. Loneliness... I haven't felt this feeling in 4 years. Why am I accused of something I didn't do? What will happen to me in the coming days? Am I destined to return to Wallachia, or worse, to be killed?
As I pondered over this, I received a visit. A soldier brought me some food.
"Eat... It will be better for you," said the guard.
"No, thank you. I'm not hungry."
"Just so you know, you're the only one who had the courage to do it... Thank you on behalf of all the victims of his abuses..."
"Wait, what? Abuses? The bishop?"
"Maybe you don't know, but if you're under 25 years old, you're not safe around him. Over 50 young priests and students have been abused by him, and the Church hasn't done anything to fix it..."
"It can't be! The Cardinal does nothing about this?"
"Unfortunately, he doesn't know. The bishop forced the victims to not say anything, not even to their parents or other people. That's why I thank you!"
"Sir, have you suffered because of this man?"
"I haven't, but... My son... He was... This man is a monster... He ra-"
"Calm down, everything is in the past! You just need to have faith in God and help your son overcome these traumas. You need to be strong for your family... Don't give up, but seek justice for your family and others."
How wicked can this man be... Wait, how old is Cesare? He's 25, so he might fall victim to this man. Or maybe... No! It can't be!
As I pondered various things, I received a new visit in my cell. My ray of sunshine came to visit me. He looks so sad when he sees me like this, but I can't do anything...
"Antonio, have you eaten?" asked Cesare sadly.
"No, I can't... As long as I'm unjustly imprisoned, I can't eat..."
"I managed to convince the pope not to dismiss you from the priesthood, but you might have to return to Wallachia for that..."
"I was sure of that... Anyway, I had to go back, right? Still, I'm glad I got to know you. I'm sorry I couldn't respond to your feelings, but now... I'm starting to have feelings for you..."
"Wait, what? A-Are you serious?" asked Cesare surprised.
"Yes, although it's too late... I think I'm destined to remain alone for the rest of my life..."
"What kind of feelings do you have for me?" Cesare asked amazed.
"I don't know how to name them, but I just feel like I can't be without you, that I would sacrifice myself for you, and that my heart hurts when you're not with me... But, I've never felt this way about anyone before..."
"Antonio, does that mean you love me?"
"You know, like in the pope's sermon... You can't give love without receiving it, can you?"
It's too late to resolve anything. Anyway, in a few days, I'll be forced to leave, and I won't see Cesare ever again...
"Just so you know, the Pope doesn't believe you're capable of something like that, but tell me... Did you really do it?"
"No, I didn't! Cesare, at least you trust me!"
"I do, but the others..."
"The others don't matter, Cesare. You're the only important person to me!"
It seems I've become dependent on him. I really don't want to leave. I don't want to leave him alone in such a terrible world.
"Whatever happens, don't do anything immoral or illegal to get me out of here!"
"Antonio... How can you say that?" Cesare began to say with tears in his eyes.
"I don't need immoral heroes, but angels... Have you forgotten?"
I could tell everything about the cardinal's secretary, but I can't... I don't want anyone to suffer because of me. Not even that demon. I think it's better to wait and see what happens in the days to come.
Cesare left with the last ray of hope I had. It's so cold. I'm so alone. Why do I have to go through so much? I've never done anything wrong. Is that why these things happen to me? Or... No! I can't become a villain like this bishop and most of the people here...
"Antonio, wake up!" a voice was heard.
I woke up and saw a human figure with wings. Wait, an angel? I started to pray thinking it was a demon, but it wasn't.
"I am Archangel Michael, and I have come to give you an important message!"
"W-What message?"
"You have received a gift... That of performing miracles. You have the possibility to change history through your actions, so do it! You are free!"
Saying that, he disappeared. Wait, what? Me performing miracles? It can't be... But is it worth a try...
No sooner had the angel left than I received a new visit from the most diabolical and false person: The Cardinal's secretary!