Seventy-Three:
Ninth Kingdom
"This is your final destination before you ascend down to Earth as a Human." The Angel said to me but I'm not sure of what I shall feel at the moment. "And you are lucky to be here." He added before he left me alone in this unfamiliar place.
"Are you sure you were lucky enough to be here?"
Silence and it took me a while before I answered. "I'm not lucky, I'm just passing by."
"From where to…?"
"I… I don't know. I even don't remember." Even though the Angel who guided me to this place already said that I'm going to Earth soon still, I don't know anything.
He suddenly smiles at me while his eyes soften. "Even if you don't remember, your heart is aching and weeping."
"Indeed, I'm in pain right now. As if I lost someone so dear to me and I can no longer live and I wanted to just lose forever."
"Yet, you have to fulfill your destiny that even 'He' cannot stop although he manages to lessen your suffering on Earth."
"What's the point of what he did if he's the one who will face everything that should be my suffering?" suddenly after answering what he said, an intense pain quickly embraces through my chest. I don't even know who we are talking about but then something flows down through my cheeks. It burns down the trails where this unknown water suddenly comes out from eyes.
"What is this?" I asked as I hold the fluids that run down to my cheeks.
"That is tears." He answered then he just paused while looking through my deepest soul. "You are clueless young lady."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Right now, you need to rest and wait for your time to descend on Earth."
Earth. I heard it once more. What does he mean? Why do I need to go on Earth? Who is the man he was talking? Why did I forget the person he was talking about? And yet my chest tightens whenever I think of him even though I have no recollection about him.
Who are you? Who are you? I asked repeatedly.
…
Present
"Is that how I came here?" I curiously asked after showing the whole scene I already saw when I first met God Kamali.
"Indeed. That is how you came here and the reason you feel familiar to this place is because you live here before you reborn as a human on Earth."
"But then, why I have no recollection of the things happened to me before going here? Why I don't remember a single thing?"
"Because before going here, the God of Memories and Knowledge given you the Water of Forgetfulness as what the others do to make sure human can stand and live on their own without the knowledge and memories where they came from."
"Then, who is the person you were talking? Why do I feel such pain in my heart every time I think of him? Even though I have no memory, I feel that he has become a big part of my being. So, please explain it to me. Who is 'he'?" I desperately asked.
Kamali calmly sigh before he answered. "I want to tell you who he is however, even if I tell you, you still won't be able to find out the truth."
"What do you mean?"
"Because I only have a few access of your forgotten memories," he answered. "And from there on, you will need the help of the Goddess that knows who you really are and who was the person I am talking about."
"Who is this Goddess you are referring to?"
"Goddess Ilmatar." He answered. "She's the only one who knows everything about you and Almos."
If what he said was true then, it will be a tough challenge for my part. Since even Almos can't get any information from his past, then, I certainly can't get any information from my past either. Again, it will go for nothing.
"You have nothing to worry about, Jeanne." Suddenly Sylvia spoke up that breaks out the thoughts from my head. "All you need to do is focus on whatever memories God Kamali can give you. And think of it later after we're done with him."
She's right, I need to focus first from whatever God Kamali can show to me and I'll handle the others afterwards.
"Alright! I'm ready to recall of whatever you have at your care. So please, help me."
God Kamali smiles at me before he speaks. "I'm glad you finally decided."
In silence I just smiled back until the time has come.
…
Past
'I will surely come back to you no matter what.'
My eyes automatically opened after I heard that voice again. And once again, the void within me goes bigger and anxiously I fear of losing my entire sanity.
"I want to go now." I said as soon as I hurriedly out of my room and went straight to God Kamali.
"Why in a hurry?" he calmly asked.
"Because…" I don't know what to say, as quickly as I decided earlier it was too quick for me to forget the reason why I'm badly wanted to go.
God Kamali smiles at me before going to my side. "My Lady, I know you still experiencing the side effect of the drink that you drank. That is the reason why you need to rest first before going to a journey that will take you to Earth."
I silently just stare through his eyes. I know and understand it so clearly yet the void that keeps growing inside me eats me so fast. I don't even know how long it will last and I am afraid I won't be able to go on Earth with this void growing inside of me.
"Lady––"
"I want to go." I said with full determination and I decided. "Just let me reborn on Earth now. Because that is what I'm here for in first place."
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