Fifty-Five:
Into the Deep
As we silently walk through the forest, my mind keeps bugging me from the story that I wanted to hear from Almos. I badly wanted him to continue what happened from the past just to make my mind clear, because knowing the truth will set me free from this unknown burden.
"So," I break the silence. "Will you continue the story about Lady Fe? You know, just to break the ice."
He takes a deep before he begins. "As I told you earlier, Lady Fe is your first life here on Earth. And she is my first human whom I need to protect and guard away from her nightmares."
"First human? What do you mean?"
"I'm also a new born Angel back then, and my first duty as a Guardian Angel of Dreams is you. I mean, Lady Fe." I'm a bit surprised from what I heard from him, being born at the same time I or my past self was born is a real coincidence. Or is it really just a coincidence? "When God descend me on Earth, 'He' didn't give any information about Lady Fe."
"Then, how did you found me—I mean Lady Fe? Did God give you... her name?"
"No, he didn't give me anything. He just sends me down to Earth after telling me what I should do and then, I'll be able to figure out the human I'm going to protect and guard once I saw that person."
Is he serious? God just sent him down to Earth without any information or clue of whom or where he can find her. But—
"Why?" I couldn't hold it to myself so, I just voice it out.
"That is how Angels do on every duty God given to us. We are all the same. Without information or clues of who or where or how we can find the right person. We just simply know it once we saw it."
I inhale. "That's an impossible task."
"But I manage to find Lady Fe."
"How?" I curiously asked.
"The moon was the one who guide me to her. She was weeping under the moon and she's near at the river when I saw her. The light of the moon shines through her and in an instant I saw this mysterious halo around her. The holiness is what made me sure she is the one that I'm looking. But the thing that I couldn't forget that grips my heart is her tears. At first, I don't know the reason of her tears but when I finally entered her dreams, I finally understand it." He paused for a breather before he continues. "The pain of losing everything she doesn't even have in her waking life made her life miserable. She was abandoned when she was just a new born child, put into a box at the front door of the church. From then on, she lived her life wanting something she doesn't have. And because of her pale skin and her different eyes she was bullied a lot until, the Dougenis found her. The thought of having a complete family was finally came true and she became so happy she thought it will never end until… her adoptive mother got pregnant and soon born their first flesh and blood. Things change around Lady Fe and that is the beginning of her nightmares. It suffocates her till it drowns her, she can no longer emerge and just going deep and deep up to she cannot do anything and that's the time I came and saved her. I pull her up out of her nightmares and brought her to the right path, where she can freely dream her freedom."
'Freedom.' I silently repeated to myself.
"Yes, she got her freedom. And slowly, her waking life also begins to change and that's when I'd learned that Asim is her guardian Angel in waking life."
"Asim?"
"Yes, he was still an Angel before he became one of the Fallen and she is his fifth duty." I just nodded and let him to continue. "Having a new guardian, I was sent to another duty. However, I can't go on to my new duty."
What does he mean? I wanted to asked but there's a fear suddenly bloom inside my heart. What does it call again?
Jealousy.
Yes, I feel jealous. I can't just ignore it even the truth I don't have the right to feel this way but it is my heart that hurts.
"Jeanne?" he suddenly called out when I just stop moving and blankly stare at nothing. "Are you alright?" he worriedly asked.
I look at him for a while before I sigh and speak. "I'm sorry, I'm tired and--" I was cut off when something drops into my face. "Rain drops…" I uttered in silence.
"Let's go, it's going to rain." He said before he grabs my hand and walk in speed searching for a place to hide under the rain.
…
"Why you can't go on to your new duty?" I asked breaking the silence between us while raining outside the cave that we found as our shelter until the rain stops.
It took a long time before Almos answered and I thought he would avoid telling the story of what I knew I was afraid of.
"The very first time I saw her I feel like I've seen and known her for a long time. The feeling that she was someone familiar but I couldn't imagine how that happened because I was just a rookie Angel, with no memory of any past. Yet, my heart tells me more than what I sense." He takes a deep breath before he continues. "I fall in love with her when I first saw her under the moonlight. As if I finally found my other half, that I've been looking for, for a long time."
My heart suddenly grips not because of jealousy but because of pain and sorrow. It's hard to explain why until my tears just flow uncontrolled.
*** ***