"It's my fault. I'm sorry. Louis, can you forgive me? I know it's shameless of me to ask this. But please... please protect your sister." A woman is coughing out as she reaches for a young man beside her. Her complexion is sickly pale, and the bone can be seen under her skin. She is lying and breathing heavily on the bed.
]Tears stream through her eye socket as she begs for the young man. Unfortunately, she is meant to be greeted with despair as she can't hear the answer she wants. The young man stares back at her.
"..." Louis hesitates to answer his birth mother's wishes. Can he find a shred of forgiveness for everything that this woman has done to him? Even in the end, her wish is for Natalia. People say that envy and jealousy are 'morally bad' for humans. Does this mean that he is the wrong person?
Looking at his own mother's expression, she tries to appease him. She did nothing wrong. She is the victim. Everything that she did was to save herself. Isn't that what she always thinks? How funny.
Does she think that he doesn't know her true feelings? Hoping that he was never born? He is angry with this woman. But, for some unknown reason, she looks pitiful. "You want me to call your name? I'll do it. So, Louis... Lou-"
She held out her hand to reach his. Her arms are sickening thin. But her eyes shone with disgust. Louis realizes it at this moment. Maybe, she never sees him in her eyes, right? The fact that she resents him so much.
"Please, protect her. My dear child..."
It's always her, that child of hers, and the man that died in the war. The name sister always makes him feel nauseous. How long has it been since the last time she called his name? Never.
"My beloved daughter, Natalia. Please..."
"..." Yes. Natalia. Natalia Arcene. Most people who know the story aware of his mother's infidelity with the Duke's brother. Due to her atrocious crime, she ended up getting kicked out of the mansion. Fortunately, his existence as the Duke's fourth son permitted his mother and sister to survive. They still live in the mansion area in a small cottage. But it looks like a prison more than a cottage.
"Why won't you say anything? I see... You are just like him! You monster! You are a cold-hearted beast. You look like your father. Even your personality resembles him... like him. Hahaha Ha-" Her mad laughter rang in his ears.
"..." Louis stares at the woman again. She is right. Unlike her daughter, who resembles her, the person who resembles Duke Helios Arcene the most is him. Those cold voices are creeping into the corner of his heart. This is unfair. He didn't wish to be born, yet he is blamed for his existence.
"If only you weren't born... I will be happier. I cursed you. I cursed your existence, you monster... I cursed you. You shall suffer from loneliness for eternity! Even after you die..." The same curse. Until her final breath, his mother only curses his existence. It's a familiar situation for him.
The sunrise greets them from the window. It feels warm yet the body that is lying on the bed seems colder. In the early morning of autumn, his mother finally died.
The smells of the grass once again reminded him that this place was far from the main manor.
A small cottage located in the east garden is filled with chrysanthemums. A small living room and two bedrooms. Despite being her son, this is the first time Louis has to step foot into this cottage. As a direct descendant, he must stay within the main manor. In both places, he likes an outsider. A failure in his father's eyes and a monster in his mother's sight. How laughable.
Who should he resent?
His eyes stop at the blooming chrysanthemum. The flower that his mother treasures so much. He and his sister have the same yellow eyes, yet she fears him the most. His sister has soft light yellow tint eyes, but his eyes glow golden. He resembles the Duke, not the Duke's brother. Seeing two people she loved and loathed so much carrying her blood must be hard.
The wind flows through the opened window as Louis only stares at the lifeless body. Thinking about the child that his mother wishes to protect, Louis laughs sadly. He wants to kill that child. The envy that creeps under his skin that he keeps suppressing, it groaned and screamed at him, threatening to break its leash.
Even so, his last strand of sanity keeps him from doing so. His mother hates him, and his father abandons him, but Natalia is the ray of light that makes his life brighter. Even without her request, he will protect Natalia.
Rough footsteps from the living room approach him. Louis is sitting next to the bed when he sees his sister hugging their mother's lifeless body. Unlike an Arcene, Natalia was born with rough brown hair. People keep comparing her with commoners due to her appearance, despite her biological father's bloodline.
*****
The love story between the youngest princess and the second son of the Arcene family is not a secret. Despite everything, most people believe that they will have the grandest ending. They will live happily ever after. True love can do anything. They are wrong.
The dark horse of the Ascene family succession war emerges as the victor. As per the contract of the royal family, Emilia Arcadezia Diore will become the bride of Helios Crezantine Arcene. Helios just fulfilled his duty as the successor of Arcene. But soon, Emilia's unwillingness manages to bend his will. He writes a new contract. Within two years, if no child is born between him and her, he will let her go and draft a divorce arrangement.
Three months later, Louis's existence thoroughly shoves her to hell. She will live as the Duke's third wive forever. The Duke tells her to take care of Louis and leaves them alone. He was curious about the child's talent. That is the first reason he marries a member of a Royal family.
To find a great successor for the Arcene family. A child with a royal bloodline and Arcene blood. He has no feelings toward anyone. His first wife is a magician from the mage tower in the Empire. His second wife is the youngest swordmaster in the northern kingdom. His sight is only for the Arcene family.
Emilia is aware of her position. Unwilling to accept the truth, the resentments poured out like a broken dam. Since then, Louis's existence itself became her greatest 'failed' product. She gives birth to a monster. It does not help as Louis grows to resemble Helios. Her hatred increased exponentially.
Talentless.
No affinity with mana or swordsmanship. Not even divine power.
At that moment, Louis saw with his two eyes that his mother was laughing and smiling brightly for the first time. She openly mocked the Duke. The three-year-old boy sees his mother being dragged as she screams karma and retribution. In retaliation, his father sends his uncle to the front line.
The love story of Emilia Arcadezia Diore and Vance Narsthia Arcene is fated to be a tragedy. A night before Vance's departure, they share a night. Natalia is born. Vance and Helios are siblings, but they have different appearances. Helios knows the truth and is planning to divorce her.
Not long after, the news of Vance's death reaches her. She tries to seek help from the Royal family, but they abandon her. As she knows her daughter can't survive, she pleads with Louis's name.
In exchange for his mercy. Louis will lose his authority of inheritance. Louis grows up in the mansion and becomes the laughingstock of the Arcene family. For aristocrats, he is a failure who failed to inherit his father's talent. For the commoners, Louis's existence is the cause of the broken love between the two lovers of the century.
*****
The black curtain covers the entire temple. This is the last honor the Duke granted to Emilia after her death. Unlike other aristocrats' funerals, it's black instead of white. The black curtain for commoners or aristocrats that live a shameful life. At least he gives them a mourning place.
The bouquet of chrysanthemums fills the coffin. His mother looks so peaceful. There is no disgust or contempt on her face. Her fragile and skinny body is covered with a long black dress. Black again. It reminds him of his existence. He should wear white clothes, but as per the Duke's wish, it's a mourning for a sinner. Even her sister wears a black dress.
A middle-aged man steps next to him. As if he was aware of Louis's unfocused eyes, he only bowed his head. The servant that used to serve her mother has long obeyed the Duke.
"The Duke just informed me that the lady's body shall be cremated and thrown to the sea. Just like Master Vance's body. He wishes both of them can be happy in the afterlife." The butler's words are reassuring. Together forever, huh? It's disgraceful for a noble lady to have no memorial.
This is the last form of insult for aristocrats, especially for the royal family. Is his mother still a member of the royal family? Even the royal family refused to accept Emilia into the Royal cemetery. Louis stares again at his sister. Currently, he is wearing a pair of black suits and black gloves. No one comes to mourning. Not even his father.
A girl is weeping next to the coffin. Natalia grows in her mother's embrace. It's normal for her to feel sad. He is not like her. For Emilia, he is just another tool to protect Natalia. They don't share a shred of affection with others.
The only person to whom he can show his affection is his sister. His mother meant nothing to him. The reason he keeps breathing despite the suffocating hatred is Natalia.
Louis kneels and looks towards the tears that flow from her eyes. Should he cry? Can he feel the fragment of sympathy for this woman who keeps tormenting him?
Louis tries to embrace his sister. A sharp pain comes from his left cheek. He never expected the person he treasures the most to hurt him. Natalia's face fumed with anger and sadness. He thought after her mother's death, no one would blame him. He's wrong. The sight of his crying sister accusing him. He can hear the words between the sobs.
"It's your fault. If only she has the will to live... Why is someone like you still alive? The one who should die is you." The resemblance of his sister and his mother overlapped. With the single sentence, something within is mind snap. At that moment, he failed to see the pure horror that was painted on Natalia's face. He can only feel the cold wind of autumn. The temple sounds so quiet. The black curtains flow around. Tears stream down his face. It doesn't make sense. He shouldn't feel anything. His mother died, didn't she?
So, what's wrong with the emptiness right now? For fifteen years, for once, he feels like something inside his gut is twisting. He feels nauseous. Monster. He should die. Not his mother. His mother is dead. So, no one can blame him. Yes, he didn't want anyone to blame him. That's the only reason. What are his father's words? Live like a dead rat and die.
He must endure it. She takes everything from him. It begins with his heart, his talents, and then his authority. To protect Natalia. He is fine with it. Natalia loves and cherishes him like a brother. A family that he can trust. So why?
Natalia is backing away from him. Her foot suddenly steps on her dress. She falls and looks him in the eyes. The same horror crossed her face. He sees the appearance before. His sister is afraid of him. Like their mother, she will come to hate his existence too.