[YUKINO'S POV]
I've been really enjoying the trip so far, being with Aoi and visiting all sorts of beautiful places was a blast. I never even imagined that this could actually happen. I've been dreaming of this ever since Aoi accompanied me when I was lost way back when we were still kids. I doubt he remembers that day but it doesn't matter. He's been on my mind everyday since then.
This whole trip experience made me step away from reality. It made me feel that this moment would last forever and that I'll be able to stay by Aoi's side. It was a moment of heaven for me. All the sorrow, anxiousness, and pain were swept away by this trip.
But during the first night of our trip, when we stayed at a hotel in Ikoma, I was woken up by Aoi's voice talking through the phone. If my guess is correct and by the way he's talking, it's probably Haruto on the other side of the phone.
"I won't be going abroad, Haruto. I'll stay here by Yukino's side until it's time for her to depart. I've already made up my mind so there's no point in arguing with me this time. I just wanted to tell you." Said Aoi on the phone.
I didn't mean to eavesdrop, it's just that I happened to be awake when Aoi said those words to Haruto. I was immediately woken up from my dream of living a happy life with Aoi. It made me face reality once again that I am dying and it's not his fault. It was my fault for being consumed in this dream of mine. For even hoping that we can grow old and be happy with each other.
I guess I'm a terrible person. After all, hearing Aoi say those words made me happy deep inside knowing that it's not the right thing for him to do. It's like I'm keeping him from achieving his dreams and depriving him of his future as a world renowned novelist.
The very next day, I came to terms with my feelings and decided to do what's best not just for him but also for myself. This will be the last day of spending my wonderful and colorful days with Aoi. This is what I've decided to do. I'll live this day to the fullest and be the happiest person.
I need to let him go, that's what's best for the two of us. I need to let him fly and reach that dream of his. Being with me won't change anything. I won't heal. Being with me will just bind him and make it hard for him to accept the reality that I'll be leaving. I know myself too well and I know my body. A few more months and I'll be dying. That's what it tells me.
Although it made me happy to hear from him that he wants to stay by my side, I need him to go for my sake as well. The more we spent time together, the more it made me refuse reality and hope for a miracle. He made me feel light, as if I'm being swayed by a calm and fresh wind. That made me feel like I never had an illness. But that was never the case. I need to start preparing for my death and not get any hopes of healing. I'll give up after this. I've already had the best of what this world has to offer thanks to the people around me. This time, I'm waving him goodbye.
The moment on the ferris wheel made my heart shatter from within. But I need to get myself together. After all, I've already decided. I gave him a tight hug conveying all my love to him. I never said a word and neither did he. Us being locked on to each other was already enough for me to understand how much this person loves and cares for me.
As soon as we got back at the hotel, we played chess then went to sleep. I never knew that Aoi was very good at chess. We've been dating for a while but I still learn new things about him. It's a shame that I won't be able to continue learning more things about Aoi. I envy the others for having all the time in the world to be able to find new things about Aoi.
I called uncle to pick me up after I explained my intentions through a phone call. I made a breakup letter while I was looking at Aoi's sleeping figure. I left the note by the desk.
I glanced at Aoi's face for a minute then a tear fell from my eyes to my cheeks. "I'll be leaving you here Aoi. Please live a good life even after I'm gone. Be happy but remember me still. I wouldn't be able to stand it if you forget about me. I hope you find love, we're still young after all. I'm sure you'll meet someone who can stay by your side when you need her the most. I might be jealous but be sure to introduce her to me. I love you Aoi." I whispered to myself before kissing him on the forehead.
Uncle texted me that he's in front of the hotel already so I made my way to him with my things packed.
"Are you sure about this?" Asked uncle.
"I am. Let's leave before I change my mind."
"Hop in."
As soon as uncle started driving. I started crying my heart out. Uncle never said a word as if to let me release my bottled emotions inside. The pain inside of me felt like heavy worlds being pounded in my chest. I'm glad that uncle drove as soon as I told him to. Any second later would make me go back to Aoi and hug him tightly. The rain started falling a few minutes later as if to sympathize with how I'm feeling. It seems like the clouds could feel the pain and sorrow I'm carrying right now.
The air inside the car felt dry. The colors I've been seeing fall into black and white. And it felt like my magical world crumbled right in front of me. I'm sorry for leaving like this Aoi. You might not be able to forgive me right now but I hope that one day you'll find in your heart the forgiveness that I'm asking for. I hope you don't lean on drinking and smoking. I hope that you won't have a slump. I'm sorry Aoi. I really am a terrible person. How selfish of me to take all the love that you gave when I never deserved it from the beginning. I'm sorry. I really am.
"Don't worry about the kid. I'll be there to support him once you're gone, my niece."
"I'll be counting on you then uncle. I'm sorry for being a burden all these time uncle"
"You were never a burden. You are a blessing.
Uncle said those words that made me cry even more. I told him to stop for a moment so that I could hug him. He hugged me back as I felt tears coming from his face.
From this point on, I'll be facing reality. I won't waiver anymore and hide from it. I love you Aoi. Thank you for everything.