Just a short little chapter setup.
Allie walked into the Bureau 15 minutes late. Bruss was in the coffee room. He was worried about her. She had come in late six times over the last three weeks. There were nights she left the station well after 10. She was going to Jake's the nights she did leave on time. Those nights led to the mornings when she was late.
He wasn't sure what set off the spiral; he couldn't get her to talk to him about it. This was an oddity. She always talked to him. Her desk needed to be cleaned and organized. Her appearance was not up to her standards. It was as if she was losing herself.
She was in her department-issued uniform today. She hasn't worn that since her promotion when she received her detective shield. At least she looked better in that than her current fashion choices; she was about one step away from wearing her pajamas. Curtis had noticed, too. He pulled her into his office to talk to her. That must be why she ended up in her uniform today.
"Did you pull DARE seminar duty?"
"No," she said nothing further.
Bruss sat at his desk, "Allie, you need to talk to me. I thought we were close like that."
"No, Bruss, we're partners."
"You need to get over yourself already. I don't know your problem, but I'm guessing it's hard to pronounce. You need to apologize to Carron and owe me an apology, too. I suggest you do it before we refuse to accept one. Or I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. I'd give you a nasty look, but you already have one."
He got up and left her there.
Damn, Caretaker, that was cold. This man has saved your ass more than once.
"And you can shut the fuck up. I don't care why the fuck you are here. Despite what you think, I didn't ask you to be here. I don't want you here. You're dead. Don't you understand you're not wanted? A figment, spirit, schizophrenia, I don't fucking care! If you're a figment, go away. A spirit? Go to hell. Schizoid? Well, I'm out of here as soon as I finish this case. I should never have become a cop; I was a cop. I don't know why I thought the DB would be better."
"Damn, you have become a heartless, emotionalist stone cold bitch. Don't worry if there is a heaven or hell; you have no soul. You sold that to the devil a long time ago. Falcon and Cartman should have never saved you that day. It would be best if you had died, not me. Want me to go so you can finish yourself off; commit suicide slowly. Live lonely. Drink yourself into a shallow grave? Be yourself, destined never to know what love is; go right ahead. It's ironic they called you Caretaker because you only seem to care about yourself. Fuck you, Allie."
"Do you want to talk about cold? How can you say that to me?"
You had the very thing in front of you within your reach that would have finally released me, but you know what? This works, too. I don't even think you belong in hell. Even Hell has standards.
"Nothing is before me, and I'm already in hell!"