(Serena's POV).
"I don't know because all I know is that Evan hasn't changed in the years I've been with him," I replied without looking nervous in front of him.
He nodded with a smile and lifted my chin until we were looking at each other intently.
"Very brave and challenging. Giving birth to my daughter must have made you such a brave woman, huh?" he asked.
I tried to push his hand away from my chin by moving my head, but Evan held it firmly enough without hurting me. He wanted me to just stare into his eyes. Now he looked so possessive to me.
Then he forced his way inside and closed the door to my apartment with his foot. His hand let go of my chin and he looked around.
"I'm going to sleep here for the night and get home before Gracie wakes up," he said.
"What?! But—"
"No refusals, my ex-wife," he replied calmly but sounded firm.
Just hearing the words 'my ex-wife' made me shudder in horror, even as it made me freeze in place.
I turned around and was shocked to see that he had already removed his shirt until he was just shirtless with tattoos around his body.
I swallowed my saliva, getting nervous, because I vaguely remembered how he and I had made love.
"This is wrong, Evan. We're ... not husband and wife anymore," I told him. "And, it's not good for Gracie if she comes looking for you later."
"Hmm ... so, does sleeping with you require remarriage?"
I held my breath while wetting my lips. Stupid, why did I say that too? This man ... My ex-husband, was a great speaker with his title as a billionaire, surely anything he could say with ease and sounded so calm as if he did have a strategy for it.
"Forget it! Whatever, I'm already sleepy," I said finally, trying to distract myself.
I walked into the room and started to take the bed cover with the pillow and put it on the sofa. "You sleep here," I said.
"No, I'm not. I'll sleep with you."
I was instantly shocked to hear him so easily and confidently say that. How could he say it like it wasn't his burden?
"Evan," I said after breathing in and out. "Please, don't make things harder. I can't let you sleep in my bed. And don't use any excuses to—"
"Don't ever turn me down for things like that, Serena. Because if you want to refuse me sleeping with you, then you have to marry me again."
I swallowed my saliva and my head was suddenly dizzy just listening to his stupid terms. Finally, I chose to keep quiet and leave it up to him to sleep by my side. I then went straight to the bed and wrapped myself up, facing the direction of his back.
At that moment, my heart was pounding and I couldn't control my breathing at all. It's possible that he even heard it, but as long as he didn't say anything, I didn't think I should feel embarrassed.
This time, how could I possibly sleep well? His sudden presence and how he wanted to stay here even for one night, really broke my heart.
It was also possible that I'd never be able to act normal until he confessed his feelings for me. Because supposedly, if he wanted me back, surely the closest reason was because he loved me in the end, or regretted it. I didn't want to come back just because of the child, because if that was the case, I should have been the one demanding to come back for the sake of the child a long time ago, but I wasn't.
"You know," his hand suddenly reached around my stomach, making me gasp but somehow I didn't dare to turn around and look at him. "The first and last time we were in bed ... I still remember it more vividly than you do with alcohol."
I sighed repeatedly while biting my lower lip and said, "I don't remember the past because it's painful."
"And indirectly, you're telling me how much you hurt because of me back then ... even now still."
I just stayed silent and continued to stare at the blank wall, hoping that drowsiness would come soon so that I could avoid this conversation, a conversation that had never happened before, even when he and I were still married.
"Gracie is the only thing that has mattered to me since I knew she was my daughter, and I want you to come back to me again, Serena. Wouldn't it be nice if Gracie finally had full parents and lived in the same house? Didn't you also think about how mental it would be for her to see her friends' parents looking harmonious while she doesn't?"
"Don't make Gracie the reason you want me back!" I snapped without facing him.
This time he was the one who fell silent and his hand was still clutching my stomach, he even rubbed it, something that made my blood rush and made me want to cry.
"You ... must have had a hard time giving birth without me by your side, right? Why didn't you contact me at all?" he asked, sounding hoarse.
"Because you're happy with Mona and I'm not someone's relationship destroyer."
"In fact karma worked on me right away, punishing me by being abandoned by her, which I thought I would end up with, but I didn't."
Tears fell from the corners of my eyes, flowing down to wet the pillow. I couldn't help but feel the lingering pain and remember how he had no heart, leaving me to marry him even though I was his wife, even if it was only based on a contract.
He didn't even apologize to me ... or at least I forgot whether he had apologized or not. Because so far, all I knew was that he continued to pursue me and did not accept my rejection.
"Serena, if I don't stop pursuing you, will you choose to succumb to your destiny which is only with me, or will you insist on being alone without me?"