Welcome, I hope you enjoy here although I'd like to first forewarn you
The name is not an exaggeration It is very quite literal so please keep that in mind and know I have warned you.
Life is meaningless, life is useless,life is a disgrace, Life is nothing unless you make it, which Also means if a God has made you. You have no life, if you are in service to a God You have given up your life and if you imagine an afterlife That afterlife has been given up for that God, I'm a first-hand experience of that. I am a sacrifice, currently I am chained to a star shaped pole splay With leather bindings holding me to the wood with extreme tension. Almost breaking my bones before this. They proceeded to remove my rollers. Cut off my fingers, cut out my tounge, scooped out, my eyes and remove my penis I am nothing but a human shaped hunk of living meat now. Growing up life wasn't good I was raised off no Emotions and quickly learned If I was ever happy or sad, they would break my bones. So quickly I lost all emotion a true husk of a human.
Without my earlobes Only able to listen very faintly due to my hair covering my ears All I could hear was chanting. It was not out of anger, It was not out of fear, It was not out of spite, It was done for none of these reasons, It was calling out to God. Only able to hear I lost all hope give up completely and simply waited I had nothing truly nothing, Even the people around me encouraged one another to make me nothing and then give me up. Soon I was set up like on a pedestal After which Some people at least two as there was two people talking Stood in front of me Giving a speech to the crowd almost like a preacher. Saying stuff along the lines of Sacrifice is nothing unless we give them The ultimate sacrifice in which one is a sacrifice in Their whole essence. At this point I didn't care nothing could shake me but still I attempted to look at the man who said this out of pure reaction. Then it began. The ritual started all I heard was some chanting Some loud footsteps and felt A lot of blades. I died within 10 seconds. There had to be at least 40 blades in me i was made into a human porcupine all for the pleasure of a god. That's how I died That's how I lived i am nothing.
So it surprised me when the next words I heard we're not of a man, but instead of something of divinity. Especially after what it said, which I quote was " What shall you sacrifice?" The question so alarming,so quickly, so rude,so demeaning, and so demanding. It made know just by it how I felt to them and remember who they where. In which I sat I thought as I still could not see but feel and think I could. So I responded with "why should I choose something when I don't even know what you mean especially saying you should know I am a sacrifice"
"No you where a sacrifice now your dead"
The response almost instantaneous as if They have had to deal with it a quadrillion times Completely catching me off guard.
"With This, I will add. You have to give something up in order to progress to the next life And achieve something better. You have to sacrifice something. Don't blame me, blame your parents there the ones who killed you"
After which I was completely stunned, almost feeling that I had a body again and the rage course through in which I proceeded to yell
"every feeling that had to do about you and everyone from my past."
"DONE!"
Within a second I was gone once again shrouded in darkness this time clearly real I felt,I smelt, I could move, and most of all I felt pain. I didn't know of it at the time but I was a child just born. So the air itself was painful and felt like hot blades filling my body yet I did not cry even though it was clear it was a struggle for me to just breath. I was still sweat pouring from my body and my limbs clenching up almost with a curl. After many many gasps I was able to adapt to the air a bit but the process of just breathing in such a young body was a great deal in a minute I was bound to fall asleep from exhaustion but I refused pushing past my limit truly knowing what a body can do from my past even a new born. With this I forced my eyes to open knowing what and how to move the muscle even though the body itself was foreign to me I broke the seal on my eyes to see. With this I wasn't greeted with a mother or father but instead a list a "contract" with a fallen angel looking guy holding it whispering.
"To gain something one most lose an equal amount of one's self".
Even though I was surrounded by my family it was ethereal and those around me had no clue I was selling my self away even as a minute old newborn for a chance to gain something. Admist this event I read what was the agreement and limitso of this "bill of sell" in which it read.
"In order to gain something something of one's self must be sacrificed this is limited to, your body, your feelings, your emotions, your iq, your strength, or any part of the body, as well as time both literally and to give up in order to do something. This is not including relationships with others, shared items, money, land, people, others at all, or your family in anyway, as well as power it self or the items you own.
With This my fate has been sealed as the mam with nothing to give but himself to, what ever is out there calling itself a God and mingling with our lives.