"Thousands of years ago lived the four Forgotten Gods."
All manner of servants, men, women, and children alike, gathered close in the shabby Pinkun tavern around an old, wrinkled man. This old man was known on this side of Yougu as Old Storymouth, because his mouth was full of stories and he was a nasty old prick. But it was true that his stories were colorful and amusing, so everyone tolerated him. All of the kids liked to pull pranks on him, though, like putting sticky rice on his chair and pretending they couldn't hear him. It was okay because he always told everyone children should be beaten into obedience from birth. What an old shithead!
Old Storymouth cleared his throat, thumped his cane on the ground, and grinned with yellow, crooked teeth, leering around. He opened his mouth again:
"This is the story of these four Forgotten Gods."
At the table behind Old Storymouth, the innkeeper rolled her eyes and scoffed while wiping the table. "Not this again."
Old Storymouth turned and glared at her. "Women these days! They open their mouths and say whatever!"
In response, the innkeeper gave him a sharp, cold look that made him jump and clear his throat, pretending he hadn't heard her at all.
"Ah—ahem! Yes, The four Forgotten Gods. It is said that these were the greatest gods of all time, in all of The Heavenly Realm. All four were the closest of friends.
"First, there was Huozhu, the ancient patron god of Fu, though forgotten. Huozhu, the god of beasts, powerful, brave, and righteous, a king of warriors and civilization. He created all manner of magical beasts that roam the land of Fu today. A warrior and sculptor of the land, he was the highest of all gods in his age."
"Second, there was Yunyue, the Gold Spirit. A reclusive and secretive martial god, it is said that Yunyue ascended three times–once to the first level of heaven, then to the second, and at last to the third level of the Heavenly Realm, to where few gods have ever ascended before. He was great, but mysterious. They say he was the humblest and most gentle of all."
"Third, there was Baiyu, the Jade Spirit. Brash and arrogant, he was a martial god prayed to in times of battle for his great prowess with the sword. He challenged god upon god in exchange for their worshippers, amassing a great following by creating hordes of enemies. It is said he shone bright and hot like a fire of paper, quick to disappear."
"Fourth, there was Shuijiao, Goddess of the Night. This evil creature was a seductress and the mother of dark spirits, creator of demonic cultivation. She raised the dead for battle, created cities of death, and once attempted to kill Huozhu, the greatest god himself, in order to overtake his position as the Emperor of the Heavenly Realm."
"Together, these four ruled the heavens for a thousand years. Then…" Here, Old Storymouth paused, looking around and wiggling his eyebrows for supposed dramatic effect. "One day, all four of them disappeared from the Heavenly Realm, never to be found again—not in the Mortal Realm, not in the Demon Realm, not in any of the Heavens. The Heavens moved on, naming new rulers and raising up new gods of martial prowess. But these four…they were never heard from again. Their followers slowly dwindled, but a core base of them remained, and these four are still worshiped throughout Fu to this day…In the hopes that they might one day return."
"Perhaps they still roam these lands in disguise. Perhaps they were destroyed. Perhaps Shuijiao succeeded in betraying them all, the did away with the evidence, whisking herself away into hiding with her victory. Whatever the case, the disappearance of the four Forgotten Gods is the greatest mystery of the past ten thousand years."
"So you, you dirty children," Old Storymouth scowled, poking his cane at any servant children standing nearby. What a nasty old creature! "You had better keep worshiping Huozhu in preparation for his return. Perhaps, when he does grace the Heavenly Realm with his presence once again one day, we will finally find out what happened in this heavenly drama. Or, not." Old Storymouth shrugged. "Maybe he won't ever come back! Whatever, whatever. Whatever happens, just make sure you don't desecrate any of the old temples of these four—God of Beasts, Gold Spirit, Jade Spirit, and Goddess of the Night—or they might come for revenge if they still exist."
With that, Old Storymouth nodded smugly, his story complete. He leaned on his cane in his seat, clearly thinking of himself as a handsome young storyteller who had just enchanted a crowd with his presence.
Behind him, the innkeeper snorted. "So much crap and nothing useful. You know that's just a lot of nonsense some scholar made up when he was so drunk he couldn't think straight!"
Old Storymouth waved his cane, enraged. "It's traditional storytelling, woman! Do you have no respect for art?"
A man in the listening crowd crowed, "I have respect! For Shuijiao. Have you seen the old paintings of her? I'd pay ten thousand taels of silver just to bed her for one night!"
"You manwhore!" His wife shrieked, slapping him over the head and shutting him up.
Old Storymouth, distracted from his angry tirade by the commotion and sensing an opportunity to spread excitement, turned around and grinned with his yellow teeth. "Hmm, it is indeed said in legend that the goddess Shuijiao never allowed a man to touch her, and any who tried ended with their hands cut off and hung from a cliff for all to see as a warning. But it is said that the Jade Spirit Baiyu was a pleasure to sleep with. He was not picky, man or woman, he would give anyone a good time! Heh. They say that's why people pray to him for luck in love."
While Old Storymouth rambled on, a lithe figure in a cloak ambled into the tavern and sat in the back without a sound, drawing no attention. Their face was shadowed by their hood.
"Now, now…" Old Storymouth waved his cane around, glaring at the children who were listening. "Keep in mind, you children so always pray to the forgotten god Yunyue, Gold Spirit, to be just as humble and out of sight as he was, hm? Or Shuijiao might come and steal your souls and eat them for dinner! Or Miss Wang here will turn you into stew for her guests, heh."
"Shut up!" The innkeeper, this MIss Wang, snapped, throwing her wash cloth as Old Storymouth. It hit his head and wrapped around it, blinding him. "I don't care if what you say is good or not, I've heard enough of your dry voice. Out of my inn!" Everyone laughed and made way as the innkeeper began to chase Old Storymouth out with a broom.
Before Miss Wang could even usher Old Storymouth halfway out of the inn, however, the inn doors burst open, and two people flew in. Or, more accurately, one person tackled another through the door.
"You disgusting piece of…You horrible…You pervert! You deserve to die a thousand deaths! How dare you!"