We had a pretty lavish honeymoon, my husband had told me that I was only with him to fulfill a certain need, children and public appearance.
I had fulfilled the second.
I had to get used to his popularity, he was a billionaire after all. The "James Ward". Paparazzi was everywhere we went. I had to smile for the camera more times than I thought was physically possible, I had to become the trophy housewife.
We were done with that part of the honeymoon.
We were home now, or at least what was supposed to be my home. He made sure to stay away from me, only calling me to serve his meals. He was a true chauvinist, a proud man that didn't respect women. I was his chained prisoner and my wedding ring was my cuff.
It was one of those cold stormy evenings, he was calling out my name, shouting for my attention, waking the serenity of the household. I tried to ask myself what he needed from me. I could not get a simple clue as to what it might be.
I walked into his room, he lay on his bed gesturing for me to come to him. It was cold when he embraced me. I was cast into an explainable state of shock. It felt good and I let myself lay there for a bit.
As the moon cast its silvery glow upon the earth, James and I found ourselves drawn to each other like an irresistible magnet.
With a gentle touch, James traced the curve of my jawline, sending shivers down my spine as I leaned into his embrace. I guess I was about to fulfill the first supposed need, and I liked it.
Our lips met in a tender yet fervent kiss, igniting a blaze of passion that threatened to consume us both. Our bodies moved together in a graceful dance of desire, each touch igniting a firestorm of sensation that left both of us breathless and yearning for more. I do not understand how I can hate this man so much yet love the feeling of his need so much.
Clothes fell away in a haphazard pile, forgotten in our haste to explore each other's naked flesh. His hands roamed all over my curves with a reverence that bordered on him worshiping me, memorizing every curve, I was his art piece.
I could not help but arch into his touch. Each caress sent shock waves of ecstasy coursing through my veins, building a feeling of desire that threatened to consume me whole.
He lifted me into his arms, carrying me to the bed as if I were the most precious treasure in the world. He was careful with my body. He searched for a missing piece while he kissed every part of me. He was already down on me. I could notice his lips caress my inner thighs, I lost all consciousness, I succumbed to my master.
We had tumbled onto the soft mattress, our legs entwined in a passionate embrace as we surrendered to the beautiful feeling of our union. He put himself inside of me this time, pounding, breaking, replacing, filling, feeling, and sculpting his name into a property he claimed for himself in a matter of minutes.
I gave myself to him.
Our cries of pleasure filled the room, mingling with the sound of our ragged breaths as we soared to new heights of ecstasy. He had gotten to climax inside of me.
In the aftermath of our lovemaking, he lay entwined with me in his arms. Our bodies still humming with the aftershocks of our passion.
As he drifted off to sleep, wrapped in the warmth of my embrace, I felt a sense of regret wash over me. In James, I had found not a partner but a master, at least he could satisfy my female desires. And as the first light of dawn crept through the curtains, casting a golden glow upon our entwined forms, I knew that I had to leave, I picked a piece of clothing from his floor, and I knew not to be there when he woke, so I left.
With the gentle rays of dawn peeking through the curtains, I stirred from my sleep. As I came back to consciousness, I noticed James' arm draped over my face and felt his face over my own. I gently rose but i could not but fall against my back. He kissed me. Remembering last night's events flooded me with mixed emotions that churned in my chest.
I glanced at the man in front of me, angling my head slightly. James was ready for work, his features relaxed in the morning glow. He looked good in this light. Although I held some resentment towards him, there was no denying his captivating aura.
I gingerly disentangled myself from James' arms, and i walked towards my window. As I peered outside, my gaze drifted over the serene scenery that lay beyond it, a calming balm to my already broken down and unsettled soul.
Lost in thought, I suddenly felt James move behind me. When I turned around to face him, he was watching me with a gentle smile on his perfectly sculpted face, trying to hold onto my waist, I moved back from him.
"Good morning," he whispered, his voice gravelly smooth for a rough man.
I whispered "Good morning," incapable of looking into his eyes.
He started hesitantly, "Rose, regarding last night..."
With a dismissive shake of my head, I interrupted him. "There's no need to discuss it." I had no reason to talk about it, I hated him.
My dismissive tone troubled James, for some reason, evident by the frown that creased his face.
"We cannot just overlook what took place," he asserted earnestly. I had made him lose control, that was his anger, he lost control, that scared him. I tried to remind myself that he didn't care for me, but for his own power over me.
With my fists clenched at the sides, I turned away from him again and confessed in a hushed voice that I despised him despite everything that transpired.
Glimpsing into James' softened expression stung me with a penetrating grief that cut through my very being.
"I am aware," he spoke softly. "Moreover, I do not expect that you fall hopelessly in love with me."
We stood wordlessly for a brief moment. Soon after, James moved back to grab something, a suitcase that I had not noticed him put down.
"Regretfully, I need to leave, but you're still my wife Rose," he uttered with a heavy voice.
I nodded, avoiding eye contact and muttered softly. "Indeed, you have to."
James took one more prolonged look around the room before leaving, carefully shutting the door as he exited. Now by myself again, I collapsed onto the floor, overwhelmed with regret and longing for wha
t could have been.
I still hated him, so what was this new feeling?