Even after the Great Sage Teacher vanished off into thin air after announcing the expulsion of an innocent student so dramatically, tension had yet to ease. Breaths were abated, and eyes roamed around anxiously for a trace of a pale sleeve, and long, pristine-white hair. The students that remained dared not relax, out of anxiety that they could pique the Great Sage's fleeting interest and find themselves falling from grace just like Ru Yijing.
Suddenly, all gazes seemed to gravitate towards the young man that was left stupefied on the floor. He had yet to recover from the shock he received, clutching at his shoulders and quivering incessantly—the biting chill that An Shirong left still bore into his core, solidifying the blood running through his veins. Their stares took on a sympathetic undertone, yet none of them stepped out to elongate a helpful hand.
Ru Yijing was unsurprised. The students must've been flustered too. Even he wasn't immune to the grave impact of An Shirong's ruthless words. A petty, humane part of himself couldn't help but think that An Shirong had leapt far too ahead of himself, this time, bordering injustice and preposterous.
It was not as though one could rein in and expertly control their heart. The heart was such a parabolic vessel, not inure to temptations and desires. There existed no one who could truly steel their heart, and wield their emotions like a tool. You could steel yourself for a thousand years, and crumble in a single moment. Because such was the way of a human heart. Those who might have initially found a will to resist the subliminal pining and weaken the source of will, was only eventually preventing the inevitable — in this case, what kind of human could continue to struggle fruitlessly in suppressing it?
It was too scary for most humans to face. To think that they had no power over the heart, when in full possession of all body parts. Only the heart remained untouched by structure, existing beyond the invisible strain of physical discipline. That was why, when humans feared the unknown, they might as well be fearing what laid innate within themselves.
The original body would've had no way of knowing it as well. That he would run into a dream so beautiful it encapsulated him. In a way, Ru Yijing thought An Shirong was a baseless hypocrite. But, even An Shirong himself had no way of knowing this.
Ru Yijing closed his eyes, drawing his arms closer to his torso to create a much needed spark to warm his recovering meridians from the chill, when he felt a hand brush against his lips. Trembling lashes shook even further at the phantom-like touch. Ru Yijing had to force his eyes open, to see for himself the identity of the person performing this frivolous action. He had guessed it from the start, but it really was the spineless protagonist shou, who couldn't turn his eyes away from perceived suffering.
Ru Yijing hadn't cried, but his eyes were suffused with red and densely packed with thin, red veins. His thick lashes droop like feathers, the somber gaze that passed through them like that of a bloodied, cornered beast.
Looking upon this face of someone who combated against the display of vulnerability, Xun Yongdi felt distress engender inside of his heart. The clenched fist slowly unraveled into thin fingers. He peeled the pasty outer garment off his shoulders, sliding it around his senior's shoulders, hoping even just for a little while, it could bring a semblance of comfort. Clearly, it couldn't deter the acute frigidity that was rumoured to penetrate through the bones and glaciate the host from the inside.
Xun Yongdi recalled of his senior brother's words dating a few moments prior.
The other man had a shaken face, but proudly substituted with feigned repose. But, he was unaware that the more he tried to cover up, the greater the enthusiasm would be discernible. Back then, Xun Yongdi observed his senior brother with striking detail, and even the small movements of his lashes did not slip by his examination. When Ru Yijing talked of his admiration for the Great Sage, it was genuine. His lips would instinctively curve upwards, and he pronounced the Great Sage's achievements like it was his own, both celebrating and admiring the man.
He said, 'Who wouldn't admire him?' As if it was a universal, unchanging truth of the world that couldn't be uprooted.
This notion of Ru Yijing was not revolutionary, and was commonplace in most students, but while the other students' adulation towards the Great Sage came from a place of fear, respect, and envy, but Ru Yijing held a deep appreciation towards An Shirong that was quite similar in nature to those above, but at the same time, it was not the sensation of what should instinctively stem from someone belonging to a lower chain; not the submission to a more powerful opponent, but an equal, intensive middle ground. Ru Yijing commended the Great Sage for both his virtues, and esteemed feats, but the origination of that adoration was differently sourced.
So, he could only imagine what the deep feelings of Ru Yijing would entail, when the person he revered, would personally deliver a killing blow.
The fingers of Xun Yongdi, which happened to still be clinging onto the corners of the fabric of the outer robe, was unconsciously fluctuating. The body owner didn't even seem to realize this abnormal reaction, until a stolid voice cut through his thoughts.
"Junior brother, if you're cold, you should just take back your jacket. I can withstand it." Ru Yijing's voice was a little justifiably dejected, but the most eccentric part of it all was his unfazed reaction towards the declaration of expulsion.
Expulsion from a sect might just be the worst nightmare of all immortal cultivators. For some immortal cultivators, this ending might be even worse than death. For birds that already had a chance to taste the euphoria of soaring through the open sky, how could they stomach chaining themselves down to earth? The dejection from the fact that they could never return to the sky was far too overwhelming for them to endure, and a majority of those banished.. imaginably took down a convoluted path.
After knowing a boundless earth expand before them, who would voluntarily crawl into a compact cell?
Xun Yongdi could not let his senior end up as another miserable story tale to pass on amongst the students. He, too, had a hand in playing a role in determining his senior's expulsion. If he hadn't acted up.. if he hadn't drawn attention to the two of them, if it was solved without a hitch, without his interference, then the Great Sage wouldn't have shown up. So, it was up to him to set things straight.
Xun Yongdi bowed his head, unable to gaze at Ru Yijing's display of despondency any longer.
"I won't let senior be expelled!" These words were said through a line of gnashed teeth, enforced with much force and conviction. "I'll find a way."
Ru Yijing, who was only shuddering because of the cold, unexpectedly became a princess in need of rescue. He turned around, and looked quizzically towards the protagonist shou who was currently brooding, acting like a martyr about to throw his life away for the sake of glory for his nation. Still, being a 21st century man that had a habit of downplaying his trifles at the expense of others, Ru Yijing's mouth flapped before he could even control it.
"Um.. it's okay, the Great Sage Teacher has already.."
Xun Yongdi's voice intercepted sharply. "It is my fault as well. If I hadn't pulled out my sword to stop senior, the Great Sage Teacher wouldn't have taken this to the extreme. I feel like his decision is unjust and whimsical, especially too drastic for this. Therefore.. I will beg for the Great Sage's pardon."
Ru Yijing could not help but think again— having too much morality could be a hassle. Even though he probably would've be expelled anyway since the root of the problem was his 'shakeable' will, An Shirong would've still found a problem to nitpick.
Pooh. Reprisal really was a dangerous thing. To think that in that very moment, all his admiration towards his favourite character almost turned into hate.. perhaps, An Shirong wasn't kidding with the flippant nature of humans! Nevertheless, he must remain a steadfast fan that wouldn't let this bothersome event sully his appreciation towards An Shirong.
"If.. If Junior brother plans to ask for forgiveness, so shall I! I am your senior brother, and will naturally accompany whatever you do!" Inspired by the protagonist, Ru Yijing also declared this.
Though, he would come to regret it immensely in the later days.
In the days that followed, Ru Yijing was forced to kneel in front of the gates of the mountainous peak. As for Xun Yongdi who was another participant in this joint plea for mercy, he was able to kneel within the comforting vicinity of the school. The expelled one, of course, couldn't enjoy the same luxury. Day and night, dusk till dawn, Ru Yijing knelt under the blistering sun until night fell, and the veil of darkness bloomed.
The school refused to lend Ru Yijing food nor water, and it was only on the gracious part of Xun Yongdi, who had convinced few fellow students to sneak out during night to deliver meals to Ru Yijing, was he able to hold on a little longer. If this were a normal human who had to undergo this, no doubt, this would be a special kind of torture method. Although Ru Yijing was a cultivator who could withstand the petty ache of hunger or fatigue, he was more prone to boredom.
Ru Yijing felt like he was really going to die out of boredom. Never in his life, had he been so lax before, that this strange sense of freedom felt a little foreign.
Today was the seventh day that Ru Yijing had been kneeling. Seven whole days, he crouched in the same position against the rocky platform and the unforgivable earth. Fortunately, the weather in this region of the mountain was quite pleasant, and there ceased to be any drastic shifts in weather. Only pleasant sun and a mildly chilly draft. Night began to fall once more, and it was time for the nightly delivery.
Ru Yijing had never been happier to see the face of another person. After all, he was enduring long periods with any human communication, and as a sociable human himself, began to crave any form of interaction. The person who came to deliver the meal was a younger junior brother whom was indebted to Xun Yongdi. If it weren't for his request, no doubt he wouldn't have undertaken this perilous task of sneaking under supervision to act as a messenger bird.
After days of perpetuating this midnight ritual, the whole person seemed to have undergone an altercation, seemingly like a hollowed out shell.
The young junior brother erupted from the brambles and bushes. A thin twig of a nearby small tree was stuck in the unkempt up-do of his. In his right hand grasped the branch of a wooden basket with the top covered by a white napkin— Ru Yijing's eyes immediately glimmered. It was a message from Xun Yongdi!
Xun Yongdi found a loop in the system, a way to communicate with Ru Yijing, and the method was to write down the message on the napkin. The person didn't have a habit of prattling, and only expressed his messages in a clear-cut, formal manner, restrained within the limit of a few words. Usually, he'd convey his worries on Ru Yijing's physical and mental state, and make inquiries of his well-being. Such a dedicated and caring younger brother, who wouldn't be moved?
Ru Yijing's treatment towards Xun Yongdi had taken a complete one-eighty over the length of these past days. Once where was a conventional and reticent relationship, now was flowing with harmony and goodwill.
The junior brother set down the basket and flopped onto the tiled pavement, sitting directly across Ru Yijing. Ru Yijing looked towards the fatigued young man. He appeared to be in the similar age range with Xun Yongdi, but perhaps, a little bit older. Due to restless nights of defying against the night curfew set by the school, a pair of dark eye-bags weighed down on his face, making the fresh and youthful face look more older and unsightly.
Ru Yijing felt a little bad. Albeit the young man had assiduously delivered meals on time, the two never frequently conversed, so this time, he struck conversation.
"Hey, what's your name?" This drew the young man's attention, and he lifted his weary gaze towards Ru Yijing.
"Ling Yue," the junior brother replied awkwardly.
He didn't expect this taciturn senior brother to suddenly commune with him. The young man recalled of Xun Yongdi's words prior— that the senior brother was a guarded man who ceased pointless chatter. In comparison to Xun Yongdi's description.. wasn't this senior brother a little bit too chatty? But, he presumed, even the most stone-willed man could not resist exchanging a few words after days of interminable solitude.
Ru Yijing went silent after hearing the response. He was thinking of topics to prolong the conversation, and soon came up with one.
"What's your relationship with Xun Yongdi?" Fearing that he might've came off as too interrogative, Ru Yijing altered his wording. "I mean, are you friends with Xun Yongdi?"
"...Not quite," Ling Yue sighed. "It's just that I'm indebted to that junior for something he helped me out with a while back in the past. Xun Yongdi is not usually someone who likes to depend on others, so when he specifically sought me out, there was no way I could turn him down."
"Oh.. I see..." Ru Yijing nodded attentively.
That was the protagonist shou, alright. A dexterous soul that liked to extend a hand out to others. A cantankerous character carved out of pure zeal! Ah.. this couldn't be.. Ru Yijing shook his head. He was beginning to sound more like a stan of the protagonist shou. He must not waver in the face of temptation, and carry a heart solely dedicated to An Shirong.
As a Chinese man with strong morales, he must be patriotic towards his one and only national idol— An Shirong!
Now, it was time for Ling Yue to prompt a question.
"Is Senior Brother and Xun Yongdi that close for the two of you to be so interconnected with each other?"
"Interconnected?" Ru Yijing staggered out an incredulous laugh. "No way. I'm not that close with Xun Yongdi. It's just like you. He gave me a helping hand when I needed it, and I am filled with immense gratitude towards him."
As Ru Yijing droned on, he removed the handkerchief from the basket and examined it. On the waxen textile were a few words written in alignment with each other. Xun Yongdi's penmanship was truly exquisite, bearing great resemblance to the writer himself. Strong strokes that were drawn in one decisive stroke that revealed the unyielding nature, while the end of the of the stroke soon turned into a gentle curlicue, expressing the a scholarly aptitude for kindness.
'I hope senior brother enjoys the meal.' Another thoughtful message.
Ru Yijing was very pleased and flipped the paper. He stretched his hand out towards Ling Yue, making grabby motions with his hand. Grumbling, Ling Yue obeyed and brought out a quill. The magical quill could sustain with its own ink, making it very suitable for writing. Ru Yijing carefully spread the bamboo paper over his thigh, and wrote his own memo.
Finally satisfied, he repositioned himself and handed the paper back to Ling Yue, who then stuffed the note into his robe.
"With how dedicated you two are in writing towards each other, I might truly mistake Senior brother and Xun Yongdi to be involved in some kind of sense." Ling Yue mocked openly, causing Ru Yijing to shake his head in abrupt denial.
The hair on the back of his neck stood up from the horror. He shook his head more vehemently until it looked like his head was about to pop right off his shoulders and roll off. Him and Xun Yongdi together, what kind of pseudo-horror story was this? He was not the kind of BL protagonist that liked raising children only to end up dating them in the future! How could these protagonists bear to date the younglings they raised with so much effort, and practically watched them grow up under their nose!?
"No. Absolutely not. Never in a million years. Junior brother, it's not good to confuse fiction with reality, and stop reading so much romance novels! It's really turning your worldviews upside down!" Ru Yijing scolded Ling Yue until the latter felt like his ears were about to detach themselves from his face and run away in fear.
"Alright, alright, I get it! I won't tease you anymore!" Ling Yue was very angered that he was lectured in the middle of the night that he even forgot to retrieve back the basket and stormed off, leaving Ru Yijing stranded in the foreign wilderness.
Now back in solitude, Ru Yijing was like a snail pathetically crawling back into its shell. Releasing a drawn out sigh, the man finally examined the basket for its contents. He might have said this before, but he'll say it again once more. Xun Yongdi was too overtly kind towards a side character like him! In the basket contained all his favourite dishes— the main dish, the side dish, a bottle of water, even a plate of reddened and ripe fruits! No need to visit a restaurant, this was the only course he needed.
"Thank you, Xun Yongdi. This senior brother prays that you'll be able to keep your chrysanthemum in tact from all the bad guys." He 'hee-hee' to himself and dug up a pair of chopsticks from the bottom, rolling it between his palm. Just before his chopsticks could touch the microscopic fibre of the rice, a terrible sense of deja vu arose.
The hand that held the chopsticks stilled in place. A furious wind buffeted him, causing the wide hems of the sleeves to flap viciously. Ru Yijing shuddered, and clenched his teeth.
... The food bandit struck again.
Whilst Ru Yijing was lamenting, on the other axis..
Ling Yue was angrily combing through the hollow passage of the countless halls, slinking and weaving in between corners. The young man was someone with a distinct and almost endearing face, and when the person was angered, the tender and fresh face would brim with a crimson colour, making the appearance appear even more appealing to the eyes.
"What does that senior brother know?" He muttered with gusto under his breath. "How does he even know that I read romance novels!?"
Ling Yue was aware that collecting and reading romance novels was considered too effeminate in the standards of the brave and courageous immortal cultivators, so he tried his utmost best to hide this secret. Unexpectedly, as furtively and individually as he tried to act, this secret of his was discovered by Xun Yongdi! He worried his head off, thinking Xun Yongdi might've spread his furtive hobby, yet in the middle of the night, just before Xun Yongdi was called to kneel in front of the altar of An Shirong, the junior brother personally came to his abode.
"I want you to send meals to Senior Brother Ru Yijing in my stead in exchange for me keeping your secret." Xun Yongdi spoke. It was not a suggestion, but a direct command.
He cut another corner, and took a sharp turn, stalking quietly towards the direction of a large hall. Since it was in the middle of the night, it was extremely silent, with only the occasional whirling sound of the wind breaking the tranquility. Ling Yue entered the house, and stopped in his tracks.
The person who was kneeling in front of the jade statue was eye-catching. He wore the same clothes as other students; a normal, and standard clothing, yet he was very attractive. Because it was during the night, the other did not feel the need to uphold a neat appearance, so he let his black, silky hair down. Letting them flow down his straight and erect back. He was as picturesque as a canary, yet there loomed this strange sense of impenetrability. The side profile of the young boy was doused in the light casted by a lantern settled atop the structure above the statue, and the supple skin seemed to reflect back the luminescence.
Ling Yue felt his heart shake. The human eyes couldn't help but slack in the face of extreme beauty.
The youth heard the ruffle of clothes beside him and raised his bowed head.
Ling Yue hurried forward, clumsily fishing out the crumpled note from the pocket, and presented it before the still eyes of the boy.
Xun Yongdi did not even need to breathe a puff of air for Ling Yue to confess with vigour.
"Senior brother Ru Yijing spoke with me today.. he.. he said that he's not deeply involved with you, junior brother.. and when I teased him.. saying that junior brother and senior brother must be involved in some kind of way, he started shaking his head ferociously and told me it was out of imagination.." The more Ling Yue spoke, the sharper the gaze that laid on his head became.
After what felt like an eternity of tense silence, Xun Yongdi's soft voice broke the ice.
"I see…" Xun Yongdi murmured.
"I.. I already finished my task.. so I'll excuse myself, junior brother…" Ling Yue was very meek. Although Xun Yongdi was his junior, the way he treated him was as if Xun Yongdi were the eighth generation ancestor of his family history. He immediately whipped around and fled the room.
Xun Yongdi slowly craned his head down, peering over the sheet in his palm. As he unclenched his fist, the words appeared on the white paper.
'I hope junior brother takes care of yourself.'
With an unchanging expression, Xun Yongdi rose to his feet, walking over to the statue, where he stood on his tip toes and unhooked the lantern from the wooden beam. He unlocked the safe latch of metal, and shoved the paper into the burning heap of fire, watching as the letter slowly crumbled and dissipated into unseen ashes. The crackle of the fed fire resounded throughout the chilly night.