What made the matter worse was when Vernon encouraged and praised him for doing so whilst Petunia ignored as if it was just another daily occurrence. Soon Harry crawled away once they got bored of him, he crawled towards his cupboard and with what little strength he had left. He managed to get in the cupboard, thanks to the pensive they were able to see the inside of it, because frankly even Ginny wouldn't have fit in it at her current size.
Harry had no bed, just a blanket and pillow on the floor, the cupboard was dirty and dark, the only thing that they could make out was the bucket in one corner. Unfortunately the pensive allowed them to experience the smell, Ginny nearly collapsed vomiting because of it. What made things worse for them was the fact that Harry wasn't crying, he looked resigned to the pain, darkness and smell. Soon five spiders descended on webs from the ceiling.
They landed on Harry's broken arm, a few hours later the spiders had formed a make shift bandage using their webs. Harry had such an appreciative look on his face, the others didn't know how they were still watching but they just couldn't bring themselves to leave. Soon another memory appeared, they had to guess it was Harry's six birthday judging by the cake they had not allowed him to eat.
"Cou…Could I have…one bite…please?" A very skinny Harry asked
"Boy if you want to have something then go and drink some bleach" Vernon replied as he idly turned over the page of an newspaper "at least that way you'd be out of my hair" The Professors and Ginny were furious, but not enough to miss the hope that appeared on Harrys face "I don't think they allow freaks like you into heaven so when you die and go to hell you can do it somewhere where you won't make a mess" Soon everyone found a young Harry alone in a park at night with a bag, he pulled something out of the bag
"NO!" Snape suddenly exclaimed
"What is it?" Flitwick asked, he was not sure he wanted to know the answer
"That's bleach!" Snape exclaimed "muggles use it clean but if he drank it then it could kill him from the inside!" The other teachers gasped whilst Ginny ignored them, she knew what happened because Harry had told her about it but seeing it was an entirely different thing. A small part of her mind always wanted to believe Harry was exaggerating or better yet lying. He seemed too happy and content for someone who had gone through those things.
They watched as Harry gulped down the bottle, he stopped about halfway and began coughing violently, but with a determination that few possessed he kept drinking until the bottle was empty, he looked halfway between pain and anticipation of something good. Suddenly Harry began vomiting heavily, it seemed as if he's insides jumped out of his mouth. Tears began pouring down Harrys eyes.
"Why?" He whispered "why didn't it work?"
Before anyone could say anything it jumped to Harry's seventh birthday, he stood in the same park at night, it was raining and lightning was shooting from the sky. Harry pulled a knife out of his pockets, everyone so wanted to look away but couldn't. Harry aimed the knife at his stomach, the tip touched his shirt, he took a breath and pushed it forwards. Everyone stood in horror as the only visible part of the blade was the handle. Soon Harry pulled it out, he collapsed into a fetal position, disappointment and pain etched into his face once he realised he was still alive
"WHY?!" He roared from the top of his injured lungs, he wasn't even sure who he was talking to and who was listening "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIE?! WHAT DID I EVER DO?!" The lightning blazed through the sky "GO ON THEN, HIT WITH YOUR LIGHNING! HIT ME! COME ON! IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH THEN WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIE?! I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE! NO ONE WANTS ME! LET ME DIE! Please" Harry whispered the last part, simultaneously breaking five hearts as he did.
One final scene began playing, Harry was about eight or nine from the looks of it, he was sitting in a tall tree, looking at a far away house. One that Ginny recognized, it was the burrow, more specifically he was looking at the little girl outside of the house. Ginny was sitting outside the burrow and talking to Bill who was sat next to her, Harry looked on contently.
"You wouldn't give me death" He talked out loud "so you gave me a reason to live, how nice of you" Harry added the last part sarcastically "I'm very thankful, but you should know that from now on, no more 'Mr nice guy'. I'm doing things my way, I'll hurt people if I have need to. From now on it's no holds barred, I'll do whatever I have to do to protect her. If I have to destroy every threat to do so then so be it"
Harry noticed that Ron was sneaking up behind Ginny and Bill with a bucket of water, Harry aimed his wand and silently cast a spell, then next thing that happened was Ron's bucket exploding and drenching him in water, much to the pleasure of an amused Ginny and Bill. Harry had a wide grin on his face before he slid down the tree and began walking away. The five exited the pensive, all looking grim and teary, even Snape made no attempt to hide his tears. Eventually Ginny spoke up
"I think you should know, from what I understand, that was only a few of his worst memories. He told me a few more that he didn't show us here." The teachers all collapsed into chairs, besides Snape but he still had to lean against a nearby wall.
"I can't believe it" McGonagall spoke with a pale face, she had never wanted a cup of tea more than now but couldn't bring herself to conjure one "I had told Albus not to leave him there, I can't believe he convinced me that Harry was safe there"
"I can't believe he convinced me that the boy was spoilt" Snape looked ashamed "either Albus didn't know or he lied, neither are forgivable in my book!"
"I wish someone would tell me this was fake" Sprout covered her face with her hands
"It's not!" Flitwick growled, this was the first time any of them had seen him angry but they were too depressed to care "to make things worse Potter was right! That's the Potter family Pensive! Albus must have took it from James!" Snape pushed himself off the wall, he held his head as high as he could
"I've come to a decision" He announced "all this time I helped Potter for Lilly, but I've realized now, this boy deserves better. I will dedicate my life to helping him if I have to, not because of his parents, but because it's what he truly deserves."
"You're not the only one" Sprout nodded "if I have to sell every plant and bone in my body I will help this boy. He is the kindest soul I have ever met and that's even more surprising considering what's happened to him."
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