"I was about to die, why did you save me? Why do you always rescue me whenever I'm in danger?" I fire one question after another at him, not knowing what a pro warrior he is. "I will kill you myself. I know how to protect both my enemy and my loved ones," he responds. Hearing this, tears fill my eyes involuntarily, and I turn away to hide my face. "Crying won't help; no living being can save you from me." My mood sours to the point where he no longer wishes to continue the conversation.
The odor of sweat starts to bother me, making me feel irritable. It's been a while since I last bathed; I really need to take one now. Thankfully, I have some clean clothes, so I can finally have a proper bath. With that in mind, I quickly head towards the water and start swimming.
"Ah, this is bliss!" I exclaim loudly, knowing he can hear me, and feeling a bit smug knowing he can't shower now even if he wants to. He shoots me a glare.
"What peace!" I repeat, enjoying the moment.
"Are you trying to tease me?" As he asks, I pretend not to know him at all.
"Me, Alexandra will try to tease you! Oh, c'mon, man. Not at all."
I stop talking to her and focus on showering again.
"Esh! I wish I were a mermaid."
"Then all the fish would die."
"Did all men die because I was born a man?"
"No! Never. But humanity is dead." The way he's teasing me makes him laugh igniting the furry inside me. How can he insult me like that! He never misses a chance to annoy me.
"What's wrong, ma'am? Why so quiet? Come and tease me."
I don't talk to him anymore because after so much stress, it's necessary to relax a little or risk premature death. Swimming feels like this water is my home. "I feel like a mermaid, or no one could swim as gracefully as I do." Suddenly I finds him preparing to get into the water which makes me jump out immediately.
"What's wrong with you?" I ask him instantly. "What's wrong with you? You supposed to be in the water." Nathaniel throws another question towards me.
"You suppose to take rest, Nathaniel."
"I won't take rest, my life, my rule. Who're you to tell me what to do or not?"
This word directly hit my heart, really who am I to him? Why am I so worried about his safety?
What's wrong with me? Why am I letting this man insult me again and again? He has no right to do this to me and I'm here thinking about his wellbeing?
I am very angry with myself, unable to do anything for myself, unable to control my mind. Still, I can't let him jump into danger like this. And if I hadn't teased him, he might not have done that. It's my fault.
"Look, I know even we both know we're nothing to each other, still focus on your safety. Indeed, your beloved people are waiting for you so I just want you to return to them safely. Don't harm yourself on trivial issues."
"I need to sit because the rocky ground is so hard, have you got it now?" "Ahh! That's the reason."
And here I thought he was dying to take bath after getting poked by me. What a shame! My face turns red being ashamed.
I don't get into the water, going behind the covert.
Marina gave me a very beautiful maxi dress, which I wear. I comb my hair with the help of my fingers. I wash the old clothes and let them dry on the tree branches.
After finishing the work, I collect many leaves and vines and try to fold them a little higher. Although it is a little difficult, it feels good to be able to complete the work beautifully.
I'm actually trying to make a thick mattress for Nathaniel so that he can sleep peacefully. When I pull it towards Nathaniel to show him, I find him sleeping on the bare ground. "Oh, poor thing," I call out to him as I lay the mattress down, but he just grumbles.
"What? Why are you disturbing me? Can't you see I'm sleeping?"
"Look, I've prepared a mattress for you so you can sleep well." I show him the mattress, his expression is like something deserve to watch. As if he can't trust his eyes.
"You've made this for me?" "Yes." He checks my hands quickly. "I can't believe it that these hands can work! I just thought those are all about flesh, there are bones too!" I pull my hand in a pull.
"When will you stop teasing me, Nathaniel?" I ask him. "Not as long as I'm alive btw thanks. Don't be sad, I was just joking." "Oh, thank you so much."
Nathaniel goes and lies down on the mattress. I can tell from his expression that he might like it. He rests for a while. But I can't understand why my hunger isn't decreasing after all this.
I'm just looking at the food bag Marina gave me. Despite having a lot of curiosity, I can't open it to see what's inside. I look at him, to see what he's doing, and see that his eyes are closed. I look at the food again.
"Are you not hungry?" I interrupt him. "Why?" "Nothing, I'm just asking." "If you are drooling over the food, you can eat. I know you very well." "Excuse me, what do you mean?" "Nothing, just eat. The bag of the food is loosing it's innocence because of your hungry and dirty look at it." "Shut up, you're always mean to me." "Truth is bitter. Eat quietly to calm your hungry wolf." "I've no wolf, I'm a human btw come, let's eat together." "Oh, c'mon. I'm not interested in your in-laws food." I grit my teeth in anger listening to him. Can't think more of it, how silly he can be sometimes. I'm judging all the yummy foods in front of me. It looks so good! I start eating without talking because it's just too delicious to wait. He's looking at me.
"Alexandra, what happened?" He asks me making me frown. "Is something supposed to happen?" "I think you're sad because your silent appreciator is dead but when I teased you in the past about him, you literally started crying. Now, what happened?" "Oh, c'mon. I'm just too happy that bastard is dead and for your kind information, I'm not a cry baby as you're portraying me." I don't give any attention to the topic and start indulging food into my mouth.
As everyone here is comparing me with someone I don't know, I think that lady maybe looked like me and this resemblance is the root cause of my misfortune.
I don't know why, but I find myself growing hatred towards that woman without even realizing it. If she was really a good woman then maybe a man like Nathaniel would never hate her btw I'm really curious about their past but don't want to ignite his anger asking about her. Eating alone doesn't feel good anymore, so I directly fill his mouth with food.
"W-what's that behavior, Alexandra?" He's quite surprised by my action.
"Sush, don't talk. Keep munching the food. You're an amazing warrior. You need energy to keep going."
He starts eating slowly, and I begin to feed her. Together, we start eating and joking around. That's when something floats in front of my eyes, I've gotten a vision of us together. I'm feeding him, we're laughing together. I start breathing quickly. I don't know why get these type of vision whenever I'm with Nathaniel. There must be connection between us but I'm just too scared to dig into the topic because I want to escape this mess somehow. There's nothing normal. Fighting, killing each other for their existence that's their life. Literally so painstaking journey of my life.
We finish eating and drinking, and hours have already passed, but the wound of his back is not healed yet. "Nathaniel, you said it's going to heal soon. What happened?" When I ask him, he doesn't respond. I try to have a clear look but find out his face is pale already, he's breathing unevenly.
"Oh no! Nathaniel, what's going on?"
I start massaging his palm one by one.
I try to warm him up by wrapping him with all the clothes that Marina had given us, but that doesn't work either. I suddenly remember that since she had given us so much for survival, she might have given something to light the fire. I search and luckily find a lighter.
I hastily lit the fire and sit with his head on my lap. I start ruffling his hair. "Nathaniel, are you okay? Are you okay, dear?" He's not speaking at all. What can I do now? In this dense forest, who'll come to save him? Without him, how'll I survive?
"Please, Nathaniel. Open your eyes? Please, please, don't die. I need you, I really need you."
I begin to lament, tears streaming down my face. How can I endure this pain that a beautiful life has completed his journey in this world too soon just to save me?
Leaving everything aside, where will I find that smile abdicated my heart. "You told me, your wound will heal then why it's not healing at all! I'm extremely sorry I said such bad things to you. Please, forgive me, if you can. If I were stronger and braver then believe me I would kill that ill-bred Patrick with my own hands."
I keep cursing myself. "Why didn't I kill him before you got there? Why did you go to save me? I ended you like this?"