He was sitting across from the Hokage. It had been a week since he returned from a "botched" mission to "kill" Itachi and had been given some time off. Technically it was an S-rank mission, but it didn't pay like one, he mused. He didn't know why he was here, but given Tsunade's smug look and Jiraiya hiding in the corner, it couldn't be anything too bad, but also in no way would it be good.
Tsunade began looking at a file on her desk before she spoke, deciding to read it aloud. "Special Jounin Uzumaki Naruto. Specializes in fuinjutsu but demonstrates proficiency in tai and ninjutsu as well. Jounin has been subject to observation from Inoichi Yamanaka since age five, a mind healer to be cautious of any warning signs of mental distress or deterioration due to isolation and discrimination. Besides hyperactivity and attention-seeking, Inoichi reported no issues until the age of seven. The subject had been uncharacteristically tired, unmotivated, and preferred to stay in his apartment. Symptoms lasted for three weeks before a slight but noticeable change.
The change continued throughout his time at the academy. After avoiding the depressive state, the subject began to do better in school. Eventually, he became the fifth-ranked student in his class by the age of nine where he held that position for the duration. Inoichi notes that due to the prejudice of the village and instructors, the subject was not treated as if he were a high-achieving student. The subject eventually demonstrated a stunning, for his age, proficiency for seals, but the true level was never determined. At age eleven, the subject blackmailed the Sandaime Hokage for the shadow clone jutsu by promising not to look into the seal the subject "recently" discovered on his abdomen. Inoichi speculates that the subject has known of the seal for a great deal longer but kept the information secret until it was useful. The subject demonstrates an ability to be manipulative beyond what his age would suggest.
After receiving the genin rank, the subject was placed on Team Seven by request, violating the established top students and dead-last tradition. However, allowing others to assume he was the dead last. The misconception was not helped by the subject's bright personality and general lightheartedness when not on assignment. Inoichi argued against team placement for that reason and one other; while subtle to most, the subject shows clear disdain for Uchiha Sasuke. The source of the animosity was and still unknown, but forcing the two to work together would only increase the effects.
Further observation by Inoichi concluded that while the animosity never decreased, the subject had taken to manipulating the Uchiha by playing to his ego and constantly downplaying his, the subject's, own skills and contributions. By the time of the Chunin Exams, the subject showed hidden hostility toward Uchiha Sasuke and Jounin Sensei Hatake Kakashi. Inoichi speculates that the subject finds Hatake to be a subpar sensei that is stunting the team's growth. An argument with more weight after Hatake-san was the deciding factor in denying the subject's promotion to Chunin, even though he was not there to view the subject's match, a factor forgotten by the Promotion Panel until after the promotions had been finalized." She stopped quoting to look at Naruto.
"It goes on, Naruto. Inoichi can't decide if you're a flight risk, a potential double agent or what. But what he is certain of is that no one really knows you. He hasn't ever been able to zero in on the source of your change, your intense dislike of the Uchiha, even given all outward evidence you view him as a friend, and other concerning issues. But after this mission, I think I figured it out, and subsequently, you out. I'm so confident I'm going to play a game. Question for a question. No lies, no half-truths, no bullshit," the blonde Hokage said.
"You've always been straight with me in the past, so I trust you'd keep to the trend. Who starts?" Naruto asked.
"You," Tsunade replied.
"Who are my parents?" Naruto questioned, testing her resolve. Tsunade didn't pause before she answered.
"Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, the second jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi."
"Well, shit," Naruto said and adopted an impassive look on his face.
"My turn, did that mission really happen the way you said it did?"
"No. Why is Jiraiya hiding in the corner?"
"Curiosity and safety precaution. He, too, was concerned you weren't upfront with him, even after three years together. Do you know what happened to Danzo Shimura?"
"Yes. Do you really believe I can replace you one day?"
"Absolutely. Do you know of his connection to the Uchiha Massacre?"
"Yes. Who was the first container?"
"My grandmother. It's been something of a family affair."
"Why did you pump Sakura for information on my Creation Rebirth?"
"A fuinjutsu project. I'll pass."
"Was it successful?"
"By all appearances, but only time will tell. Why did you take Sakura as an apprentice?"
"For you," she said and savored the look of surprise on Naruto's face. "Where is Danzo now?"
"I honestly have no way of knowing that. Did you know my parents?"
"Not well. Kushina and I never got the chance to get close due to the war and my leaving the village.It's one of the things I'm not proud of, given she was Mito's legacy just as much as I was. I really didn't know Minato at all. How good are you at fuinjutsu really?"
"I was getting close to Jiraiya's level when we met, but he was still better than me. I held off from showing my own skills when he agreed to train me because I wanted to see how he thinks, in case he ever put a seal on me. High-level seals are as much about the creator's "voice" as they are about theory, and since the only active Sannin played the perverted fool, I wasn't sure how much I could trust him."
Jiraiya then revealed himself and asked, "Wait, that's why you've been cagey with me?"
"Yes," Naruto replied. "I cared for the old man deeply, but once I realized he was hiding things from me, I felt no need to be completely honest with him. You pretended to want nothing to do with me, only to have me sign the Toad Contract. I may be blonde, but I'm not dumb. I figured if you weren't going to be straight with me, then I'm under no obligation to be straight with you. Why aren't you asking me what you really want to ask me, Baa-chan?"
"Because I find it amusing," Tsunade said. "So, how long have you been in love with Itachi?"
"In love? I don't know. Loved? Since she saved me," Naruto answered, greeted with a smile from Tsunade that was born of sad understanding, not smugness. "How did you figure it out?"
"Mostly from what was missing from Inoichi's report. Someone as outgoing as you, and yet it made no mention of a crush or love interest? It makes sense for the Uchiha, he's bent all wrong, but you? I didn't buy that for a second, not with how fast you take to people. Finding out who was in your ANBU detail and who could have hidden interaction from Sensei and the list was narrowed down pretty fast. I'm guessing she broke protocol and started to interact with you?"
"Yes."
"And you never believed the official story about the Uchiha Massacre?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because someone who kills their entire clan on a whim likely wouldn't bother coming to say goodbye to one of their missions."
"She spoke to you?" asked Tsunade, surprised.
"No, she thought I was asleep. I thought I half dreamed it for the longest time."
"So, she just came to say goodbye and left?" Tsunade asked and say a slight pink to Naruto's cheeks.
"Basically." the teen said, hoping to move off this topic.
"Basically?" both Sannin asked, Naruto's hopes dashed.
"She said bye and kissed me on the cheek, ok?" He rushed out.
Tsunade would think it cute if Itachi hadn't just committed mass murder but pushed on regardless. "Have you had any contact with Itachi outside of your mission to retrieve me, Gaara's rescue and this most recent mission?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"During the training trip, she approached me henged, supported by genjutsu."
"That… that's not possible, Naruto, why didn't you tell me? You could have been at risk." Jiraiya said, stunned by the admission.
"It was a private matter and if she had wanted to capture me she would have brought that walking chakra beacon. She didn't. She wasn't even armed."
"How could you possibly know that?" asked Tsunade.
'Shit!' "Observation?" Naruto replied with zero confidence.
"Naruto, what aren't you telling us?" Jiraiya asked, getting increasingly worried.
"Can we just drop it? We know she's not a traitor, she didn't hurt me. Isn't that enough?"
"No, because you are desperate to avoid this topic. Naruto, what aren't you telling us?"
"We spent the night together." Naruto said, avoiding all eye contact.
"As in… spent the night together?" Jiraiya asked, wanting to still be mad at the boy but also feeling the overwhelming need to start his latest Ichi Ichi.
"You banged Itachi?"
"Eww, don't say banged Baa-chan. Matter of fact, for all intents and purposes I will not discuss my sex life with you. This is weird and wrong and you're a Baa-chan so you shouldn't even know about sex let alone mention it to virgin ears!"
"But you aren't a virgin, idiot!" Tsunade said, sporting a tick mark.
"My ears don't know that! Stop trying to mentally scar me Ero-Baachan." Jiraiya could only facepalm as he watched the weird ritual between the two. It's like if they didn't have at least one argument every time they spoke the interaction would be lacking. It just didn't get it.
"Don't you call me that, Ero-gaki! I'm not the one sleeping with S-rank missing nin. Did you at least hold off long enough for her to properly seduce you are did she just tap you on the shoulder and you were ready to go?"
"For your information, Queen of all Perversion, it was beautiful and intimate each time!... Shit!"
"What do you mean, each time? You allowed this to happen more than once? Was part of your training how to make decisions with your dick?"
"Don't say dick, Ero-Granny! I'm too young to hear you say words like that. You keep up and I'm going to have to become a monk to purify myself."
"Shut it, gaki. Don't change the topic, which is you screwing someone out to kill you."
"But she wasn't."
"You didn't know that!"
"I strongly suspected."
"Jiraiya this is your fault. How was he alone long enough, often enough to carry out an affair?"
"Um…"
"Spy network." Naruto offered.
"Yes, that's it."
"I call shenanigans but let's stay focused. Naruto, what were you thinking?"
"I don't know. That for a few moments we could be something else, something approaching normal not two marked people. That I could be happy even for just a bit." Naruto said with pure defeat in his tone. Both Sannins' eyes soften at the boy, no young man, that often has the weight of the world on his shoulders. And neither take joy in what they know they have to do. Jiraiya managed to steel himself first and spoke,
"Naruto, you know there's no future there. Best case scenario is Itachi extracts herself from the Akatsuki and goes into hiding. She wouldn't be welcomed back to the village."
"I'm aware it's unlikely."
"No, Naruto, not unlikely. Impossible. It won't happen. It can't happen." Jiraiya said, firmly and watched his apprentice slump. Normally, Naruto wasn't one to accept something as impossible but he didn't offer up a word of protest; however his body language shouted his defiance. Jiraiya often bemoaned Naruto was too much like his mother but truthfully he was just as much like Minato and damn it that wasn't a constant pain in the ass. He could try to talk Naruto out of whatever he has planned but Jiraiya doubted it would work. He could only hope his attempts to exonerate Itachi doesn't lead to more pain for all involved. The shinobi lifestyle takes from all who are a part of it but it doesn't take equally. If the world were fair, someone as good as Naruto and loyal as Itachi could be with their hearts' desire but the world is rarely fair and just.
"One last thing, Naruto; how did you get Danzo to talk and where did you see him last?"
"He sent one of his agents to "test me" a few weeks ago. I beat the ink using clown and then followed him back to one of Danzo's lairs or whatever. Set down to talk to the guy and then he launches into some bullshit self-justifying speech of how his was the one true way and I should join him. Of course I declined but while he was talking I noticed some weird chakra signatures in his right arm and eye. From being around Sasuke I knew they were Sharingan and assumed he'd have knowledge. Foolishly he left himself unguarded so I snatched him."
"You kidnapped the Darkness of Shinobi?"
"Yea. Seals are wonderful things. Anyway, I stashed him in the Uzumaki Mask Storage Temple; which I've fixed up so you should come by Baa-chan. Eventually he told me how he ordered Itachi to kill the Uchiha behind Jiji's back and how he stole Shisui Uchiha's eye and tried to use it on me. Luckily, I sealed my eyesight before I met him so it didn't work. He then bit his tongue and bled out but I have his confession recorded."
"There is so much of that story that is just… why did you know to seal your eyesight?" asked Tsunade.
"I do it when I want to push my sensory abilities to their limit. I had my eyes sealed for the last six months of the training trip and Pervy Sage didn't even know."
"The hell you did, that's impossible." replied Jiraiya.
"I have them sealed now and neither of you knew but I can see just as well without it. Most sensor nin are lazy, honestly. I basically can chakra sonar map anywhere I want and the picture in my mind is just lacking all the colors my eyes pick up."
"Ok, we're going to have you detail about that later. Hand in the recording and then go join your team, Naruto." Tsunade said and watched as the blond obeyed. After he left she turned toward Jiraiya, "This isn't good. He doesn't for a second believe he can't bring Itachi back."
"I know."
"We can't have him focused on this, not with his life at risk."
"Well, what do you suggest, Tsunade? I've had an easier time changing your mind. The kid will tell us what we want to hear and just work around us if need be."
"Damnit. Why couldn't he find a nice girl who wasn't an overly loyal prodigy. Oh, and five years his senior. If she does come back I'm going to ring her neck for taking advantage of Naruto."
"Yea, that poor Naruto, getting to be with the woman he loves. Oh, the horrors!"
"Shut it, Perv. On to other matters, are you dead set on infiltrating Ame?"
"Yes. We need the intelligence."
"Fine, I'll assign you a team."
"No, it'll be easier if I go alone."
The blonde Hokage could only sigh. "Jiraiya, be careful and if things get to dangerous then get out of there. You are still needed here."
Jiraiya gave a hearty laugh before replying, "I knew you loved me." he said as he lept out the window.
"Idiot."