my dream that never came true

It was midnight, I was 9 looking at the stars from far away. At that time i had a crush. To me, he seemed perfect the way he was. But then later I found out that he liked someone else. I had a friend, I thought she'd be with me forever, but seems I was left out from every conversation. So, in the end, when I was 12 , I knew that anything I loved never lasted forever. I was struck hard by reality at a young age. Even my grandfather, I loved him so much but he left us. I thought to myself, why did it hve to be me , why can't I enjoy my childhood like others. Maybe it's my fate, maybe I deserve this shitty things. Getting rejected, left out, betrayed. But then suddenly, at the age of 13 I had a change in my life. My whole fate disappeared.