I went to an empty field and laid down on the grass. For the first time in a while, I didn't need to follow or lead anyone. No destination, no obligations. I have money, so I could live like a king. I have eternal life, so there's that as well. Maybe I'll invest? Is that even a thing in this world?
In a whirl of frustration and confusion, I got back up on my feet and paced back and forth in the open field, thinking about the future.
"Maybe marry...?" I mused, but then a stark realization hit me with bizarre clarity—the truth was undeniable.
Any woman from our species was susceptible to his charm, all thanks to those blasted passives. There seemed to be no loophole, no workaround that wouldn't end with him inadvertently stealing away anyone I dared to care about. Whether he meant it or not.
"AAAAAHHH, I'M SO JEALOUS...!!! IF WE WEREN'T BEST BUDS, I'D HAVE KILLED THIS GUY...!!!" I screamed into my helmet, my own voice echoing back at me in a hollow ring.
"AAHHH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE!!" I racked my brain.
A mage with mind protection? No, his passives would trump that.
A warrior with mental fortitude? Nope, he'd already charmed one of those. Literally Marcilla, our party's vanguard.
Even our enemies weren't immune; he'd seduced Marley, the underground dealer who prized loyalty above all else, just to extract information.
Consider going homo? I shuddered at the thought—it wasn't for me. I even considered it in desperation from back when I was his party member, but no, that path held no appeal.
"Is there no one immune to his influence? Maybe get a willing/slave twink and a transformation potion?" I mused half-heartedly, then grimaced.
"Nah, too weird... Even for me. Plus, what if the potion expired? We'd end up on awkward runs to the alchemist. Yuck."
"AAAAHH, SO UNFAIR!!!!"
"Any girl of our species will want to bang him no matter what!!"
I paused, as a sudden realization hit me like a bolt of lightning.
"Any girl... from our species..." I gulped.
"Any girl... From... OUR... Species..." A manic grin spread across my face.
"I GOT IT...!!!!"
A LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG WHILE LATER....
Back at the demon lord's castle, the atmosphere was heavy with defeat and frustration. "My Lord, the army's complaints only rise... They demand bloodshed, and their hunger grows," the advisor reported, his voice tense.
"Tsk," the demon lord clicked her tongue in annoyance.
"No helping it. Redirect funds from castle maintenance to provisions and arrange combative matches to sate their bloodlust."
"My lord... Our forces will dwindle if we indulge their thirst for violence...! Surely there's something else we can do..."
"There's nothing to be done about it... I've already been bested by those damned heroes in a fair Demonic Duel against that Goddess-touched hero and his party all those years ago, so we cannot invade their territory and get more resources to sustain ourselves... AHHH!!! THIS IS SO UNFAIR!!! I WISH I COULD VENT MY FRUSTRATION ON ANYONE FROM HIS PARTY—"
Suddenly, the massive doors to the throne room burst open.
"DEMON LORRRDDD!!!!" A voice echoed thunderously as Van rushed into the throne room, still clad in his signature armor and helmet.
'ORCS... ELVES... DWARVES, DRAGONKIN, MERMAIDS, DRUIDS, HARPIES, FOXGIRLS, WOLFGIRLS, CATGIRLS, LIZARD GIRLS, DARK ELVES... I LOOKED THROUGH FUCKING ALL OF THEM!!!! I WENT THROUGH THEM ALL. AND WHAT DID I FIND...!? THEY'RE ALL SLIGHTLY RELATED TO HUMANS!!! DEMONS ARE THE ONLY RACE THAT ARE PURE... ONLY PURE BLOODS... ONLY PURE BLOODS...!! AND WHO IS PURER THAN THE DAMN DEMON LORD!!!? HOW DIDN'T I FUCKING SEE THIS SOONER WHEN THAT BASTARD BAGGED THAT DAMN ELF BEASTMASTER ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!!?' Van thought, his mind a mess after searching for a wife for over 14 years throughout the world, discovering that his Passive Skill: Untrusted affects them all, minus the demons.
Throughout his time scouring the countless tribes and proposing to any woman he found attractive, he was accused of countless acts of disrespect and harassment. He had died so many times from public executions and enemies much more powerful than himself; his skin, his bones, his muscles, and blood vessels had become denser, more flexible, and more resilient than the very armor he donned. At this point, Van was a level 44, with level 300 stats.
"An intruder...!?" the advisor exclaimed in shock. The demon lord looked up, her gaze sharpening as she recognized the armor-clad figure approaching. It was Van Hellix from the hero's party, confidently striding in, armored and determined.
"V-Van Hellix!! After all this time!?" the advisor cried out in disbelief.
In his mind, Van's thoughts roared: 'I DON'T CARE IF I BECOME PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER 1!!! I DON'T CARE IF I'M THE CATALYST TO THE SECOND GREAT WAR!!! I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO CONVERT TO SATANISM IF THAT'S A THING IN THIS DAMNED CASTLE…!!! I'M GOING TO MARRY THE PURE-BLOODED DEMON LORD AND HAVE HER BEAR MY CHILDREN… I'M GOING TO LOSE MY ACCURSED VIRGINITY TO THE DEMON LORD NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!' His eyes blazed with desperation and determination.
"YOU!!! IT WAS NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU REDUCED US TO THIS, NOW YOU SEEK TO TRAMPLE OUR PRIDE FURTHER!!!? COME DIE, WEAKLING!!! YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE DIVINE PROTECTION FROM THE ACTUAL HERO!!!" The demon lord shrieked, her wings unfurling as she charged at Van, black blade poised to strike.
...Who unexpectedly knelt.
"MARRY ME—" he blurted out just before she cleaved his head from his shoulders.
"Eh..?" She paused, dumbfounded, staring at the rolling head and the collapsing body that turned to dust, revealing a fading ring.
"W-what... Did he just say...?" she muttered, turning to her advisor in confusion.
"It... He must have been delirious, trembling before your might..."
"I see... B-but... there was a ring... And now his body... What is this..?" She scanned the dispersing dust, her brow furrowed.
The advisor, equally speechless for a moment, then chuckled nervously. "Ah... Aha...!! It must have been a prank by the younger ones..."
"You think so...?"
"It must be, my lord! Is it plausible that a hero's companion came here to propose to their arch-nemesis?!" He tried to lighten the mood.
"Do not patronize me, Varlog," she warned sharply.
"Apologies... It just doesn't make sense otherwise! I shall reprimand these youngsters immediately," he said, hastily exiting the room to manage the peculiar aftermath.