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Chapter 29 - Bus Driver and Socialism

Socialism this socialism that. I'm a bus driver, but I must take this test about socialism. I must score 60 percent to get my license. What does socialism have to do with driving buses? I honestly don't know, but I sit there with others wondering the same thing. 

Our teacher, an old hag; what did you expect? She has no care in the world. She strikes me as the type of person that, if she were lying in bed in the hospital in urgent need of heart surgery, she should grip the doctor's coat and say, "You better know socialism in great detail!" And if the doctor didn't, she'd choose to die.

Karl Marx this, Karl Marx that; he invented the greatest political ideology of all time. No, not just political, universal! Karl Marx is God; Karl Marx was a gift to humanity and Lenin was his student, and Stalin keeps it alive. She said to believe in Karl Marx as he will "save you one day." 

Socialism gives rights to the workers, it gives them all the benefits. Well, if our union is the best in the world and if we get all the benefits, how come every door in my house is broken down and too expensive to repair? How come I'm not at the beach dipping my toes in the sea? I have never even seen the sea except old black and white photos. And how come that holeon the street 2 meters wide has not yet been fixed? It was there before I was even born. 

We sit there as the hag babbles on about how great socialism is and how great Karl Marx is. When the test rolled around, I didn't study. Why should I fill my head with lies? It's already filled to the top with lies. So, I failed. And I failed again. I stopped counting after the 8th time. 

Eventually, I bit the bullet and learned, and my God, what utter nonsense it is. Most of it was pure gibberish. I mean, seriously, are we humans or damn chimps? The government sees us as the latter. 

Finally, I passed and told the hag to go fuck herself. 

Of course, I didn't say it, though it was on the tip of my tongue. And of course, I graduated at the worst time. 

It was winter. 

I drove the bus through the slippery road. I knew they didn't have winter tires; they never seem to have anything when it's needed. It made me more anxious then straight-up fear overwhelmed me, as I had to pass through thick snow. 

The snow kept getting larger and larger until I was stuck. I opened the door to see how bad it was. I slipped and went headfirst into the snow. I was covered from my head down to my waist. 

"SAVE ME, MARX!"