Chereads / I Am Here for Oneshots / Chapter 4 - Not Okay

Chapter 4 - Not Okay

Bakugo's POV

I'm running through the back alleyways looking for any sign of them. Some new villain group popped up not too long ago, ever since we took down the LOV a new one seems to sprout every other week and this week was no different. I see a flash of blue light around the corner and when I get there I see some shark looking extra, great white shark. Why can't this ever be easy? The LOV was a cake walk compared to most of these new groups, these ones just like to murder and cause general mayhem wherever they go, no supposed moral message bullshit.

I study the guy and find him fiddling with a bag and see the little bags of blue powder that have popped up on the streets recently and I just want to curse the world. That shit gets everywhere and if one of those flimsy baggies break I'll be higher than a fucking kite for the next week.

I send my coordinates to HQ and the few details that I have. I manage to take a shitty ass picture and send it with my gps coordinates. At least I won't be left out in the open if I do get caught in the shit. It has a nasty side effect of it boosting the person's quirk too only to make them extremely weak after the fact. Most people pass out.

I just want to go home. Is that really too much to ask for? I could practically see Deku smiling at me from next door, offering to go grocery shopping if I cook for him too. I could see the bottle of red wine on the table as I finally got the nerve to kiss him and I could almost feel him pinning me down to kiss me back. Hopefully.

But instead I'm stuck in this shitty alleyway for the third night in a fucking row this week. Time to get this shit on the road. I take a deep breath and click on a single eraser cuff to try and help whomever showed up, it won't completely erase my quirk about 70% of it but with the boost from the drug at least I shouldn't kill anyone this way. I ran out trying to sneak up behind him only for him to turn around and throw a baggie straight at me, it burst open when it hit me sending a cloud of blue smoke surrounding me and the last real thing I saw was the bastard running away.

Swirling blue dust turned into rain, somehow I was on top of a mountain and then the bottom of the sea in less time than a blink of an eye. I looked around clenching my hands trying not to let my explosions off no matter what but it's so hard with birds squawking right in my face that hadn't been there before or a fish that tries to swallow me whole. The craziest things I saw were the things that could have been real while the funnest were completely imaginary. Like the broccoli that was dancing to the macarena and the rock trying to swallow the sea. I could feel tears streaming down my face and screams tear through my throat when a shark or dragon came at me and I was so emotionally drained that by the time the world stopped spinning all I could do was look at the lights above me. Am I still being stabbed by knives?

"No more," I croaked out, begging for it all to end. My head hurts so badly, my skin and scalp itches everywhere and I generally feel disgusting but the mix of bells and screams had finally stopped ringing in my ears and I could feel tears dripping down my face again. Let it be over, please just let it be over.

I close my eyes again and fall asleep.

***

"Kacchan? Are you going to wake up today?" I hear Deku ask from somewhere nearby and when I open my eyes I see the crying broccoli next to me, only it's really him this time.

"I will never eat broccoli again," I shuddered in horror as the far too recent memories invaded my mind of the bleeding vegetable. The fact that my voice was barely audible didn't seem to matter because he jumped the moment I said anything at all.

"Let me go get the doctor," he called before running out of the room and I can see that I'm in a hospital room but nothing seems real either. Where I know things should be straight and hard were wavey and I don't know. Fluid?

Someone came running in with Deku that had purple scales for skin and electric blue eyes instead of whites and honestly I just want to hurl from the queasiness in my stomach. She twittered around me like a fucking bird and asked me a bunch of questions and the fact that half of them were met with silence didn't seem to be in my favor. But how is it any of her business if I have a lover or if I lived with my mother? Is she trying to rap or rhyme or some other bullshit?

Deku spoke up, "I live next door and I have a key so I can check on him regularly." I laid back just watching him talk, his smooth voice relaxing my already frayed nerves just a little bit.

"Is that okay with you Mr. Dynamight?" She asked me and instead of answering her I just reached out and touched his soft hair. It's so much softer than I thought it would be, like a teddy bear, it really does bounce when I let go and the way the light bounced off of his nearly black hair reflecting the rich velvety green was mesmerizing. I played with his hair for a while ignoring her questions all the way around until Deku turned and I saw those bright jewels that he calls eyes. The irises pooled together in light and dark greens from a simple grass green to rich emeralds, the lights above sprinkling stars throughout not only them but also the neat black center that drew it all together.

"Pretty," I whispered only to see his face start to turn pink, his freckles only standing out more on the brightened flesh making me smile.

He coughed before turning back to the doctor that I no longer cared about and told her that it would be fine. "We grew up together, I'll call Aunty if anything happens that I can't handle." I pouted, no longer able to see his pretty eyes but then I remembered his soft hair again and I started playing with the bouncing curls again. The smooth silky strands flowed like water as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry Mr. Deku, he can just as easily be like this for another week, we have already pumped his system and checked that the substance was no longer in his blood but the fact of the matter is that he will suffer from the side effects for at least a couple days if not a week or two longer. He was completely covered in the drug when backup arrived," she sounded so serious but I just giggled as my stomach did a flip when I reached a little further than I meant to, almost falling over the edge in the process.

Deku caught me and his strong arms held me firmly but he just felt so warm and safe so I just leaned further out, into his arms making it so he had to come closer so I didn't fall onto the floor. His normal skittishness seemingly forgotten as I cuddled into his neck and smelled the warm spices of what was probably his aftershave still lingering on his skin.

"You smell nice," I giggled again before ignoring his now much redder features and cuddled into his neck with my eyes closed. "No more monsters here," I whispered, wrapping my arms around him, keeping him in place. I could hear him asking the doctor about what I said but her answer was really just flat and didn't actually explain anything at all so I tried to explain it to him.

"Did you know that broccoli bleeds?" I asked sleepily but when I didn't hear an answer I asked a different question. "Sushi screams when you eat it and the moon is just a baby sun that hasn't figured out how to shine yet." This time I yawned and tried to pull Deku into the bed with me. "A shark's teeth can grab you and clouds die when they cry," It wasn't working so I just settled where he was, standing up against the bed and I was holding him tight. "Tigers forget to brush their teeth and ants will rule the world."

"Kacchan, maybe you should get some more sleep? I'll get all the paperwork done while you sleep and I'll take you home if that's okay with you?" The angel asked and I started giggling at what looked like light from a halo above his head.

"Shh, I won't tell anyone that you're an angel but where are your wings? Why can't I reach your halo?" I asked, reaching above his head towards the light only to see it basically dodge my fingers, making me pout before I started crying again. "Don't tell me that the bleeding broccoli was you! Did you die? Why did you die? No you can't ever leave, I won't let go!" I held on tight, refusing to let go no matter what he or anyone else said. The tears kept rolling down when a thought hit me and the tears came flooding out.

"Was it my fault? No swan dives, I said no!" I cried and by now the nurses were running in, trying to pin me down too but Deku waved them off before turning his attention back to me.

"Kacchan, it's okay. I'm fine, you're just seeing some weird things because of the drugs that were thrown at you. Look, loosen your grip and I'll sit next to you for a little while before I fill out the paperwork. Or maybe I can just fill the paperwork out here?" He seemed to be looking behind me but whatever he saw made him smile before pushing me further onto the bed so he could sit with me.

I let out a sigh when he laid down and I cuddled into his chest amazed by how soft it was while still so hard. So many things ran through my mind as I saw a simple wrist watch on him and I kept looking at the wristband, it wasn't right. Most of it was black but there were two links that were silver instead and I kept trying to scratch the silver off to show the black underneath.

I saw someone else come in that looked like a dried up walking skeleton with blond hair that had far too much gel in it. I reached out and flicked at a thick blond strand but surprisingly it wasn't hard, dry gel like I thought it would be. I played with it for a moment before I frowned and turned back to see Deku's pretty soft curls again and started playing with them again.

"No more monsters~ No more monsters~ No more monsters for me~," I giggled as I hummed happily.

"Oh, this is going to be difficult," The blond groaned but I just hugged Deku and smiled.

Deku clapped his hands, getting my attention and I saw his hands! "You have tiger stripes," I whispered, tracing the lines up his arm before I looked at him very seriously and added. "You HAVE to remember to brush your teeth. It's important!" He was smiling so adorably and I saw the freckles on his cheeks and I wondered if I drew lines connecting the dots if they would make a cute picture? I bet they would.

Before I knew it we were standing in front of a door and I was swaying on my feet before I ended up leaning against Deku in order to stay upright.

When we were inside I flopped on the couch and saw the ceiling above me and I started giggling as I traced images into the ceiling with my eyes. Deku sat next to me and I broke my concentration enough to refocus on him again.

"Do you know that you are beautiful?" He looked at me surprised but I just nodded, happy that he was listening. "Your eyes sparkle like stars and your smile lights up my world. Sometimes I get angry because it feels like I'll get burned if we stay like that for too long."

"Why would you get burned?"

"Because you're so much brighter than the sun, silly broccoli. No more bleeding broccoli, promise?" I pouted up at him only to see his shocked face nod slowly and I smiled again.

"One day, I'll tell you that I love you and we'll either be happy together or I'll cry alone. I wonder which one it will be?" I asked no one in particular, my smile faded away as I remembered everything I did to him. "I'm so sorry for everything Izuku. You don't have to forgive me, I understand." I started to silently cry before turning away from him and towards the back of the couch.

"I'll go to sleep now. I'm sorry," I added, trying to hide my tears. "Why am I crying so much? Why does my heart feel like it's being cut into a trillion broken pieces? No matter what I do I will never be whole. No, no matter what I do, I will never be whole." I know I'm repeating but it doesn't really matter. I should go to sleep. My whole body aches, and my head hurts so much not to mention that I want to hurl.

I close my eyes and try to fall asleep but nothing I do is working. I feel a pain in my stomach and when I sit up I lift up my shirt to look at it only to see smooth skin but then it growls like a bear.

"I have a bear in my stomach," I whispered, shocked until a small ache of what felt like it was hollowing me out made me wince. "The bear is eating my insides!" I start to panic but when I turn I see Deku smiling at me, calmly.

"I think I know what to do. Stay here and I'll be right back," he got up and walked away. The pain in my stomach didn't go away and only seemed to get worse the longer I waited, but Deku said to wait. So I'll wait.

When he came back in with pizza, I smiled only to frown again when he gave it to me. Something isn't right but what is it? The food looks good so why don't I eat it?

"Where's yours?" I looked up at him, finally I figured it out. There was only one slice, that's what's wrong.

"I ordered another pizza and it will be here soon, that was just left overs from the fridge so you eat it for now," I nodded understanding well enough. This is for now, more will come later. Simple.

I feel the bear inside of me again wincing at the pain before eating the food. He brought a large glass of water and it really did help. At least the bear wasn't hurting me anymore.

I saw Deku sitting next to me, just watching me and I felt the overwhelming urge to sit in his lap. Would that be okay? I really want to so it should be fine, right?

"I want something," I say out loud, getting his focused attention again.

"I'll get it for you then," Deku smiled at me and I couldn't be happier than right now. What is this glowing warm feeling in my chest? Why do I feel all giddy and bubbly inside?

I get up and sit in his lap, wrapping my arms around him, holding him close. "This, I want this all the time but I can't ever have it. Why can't I have it?" I asked while snuggling into his neck.

"I have to know if you want it in order to give it to you," I could hear him trying to reason with me and I smiled, kissing his neck as I made myself comfortable. I heard him squeak in surprise but I just nuzzled him before giving more kisses on the smooth, sweet skin.

"I like this," I whispered in his ear before kissing it too. I closed my eyes and laid my head down, relaxing as I enjoyed myself.

I feel so peaceful right now, like the world hasn't been in flames for years and flowers are growing brightly around me again.

***

*Ding Dong*

I groan at the door bell ringing and try to bury my face in the dark only to find that I'm still on Deku's lap.

"It's okay, Kacchan. It's probably the pizza, I'll be right back," he lifted me easily, putting me down on the couch where I tried to hide my face from the light. I heard the door open and some voices but I didn't see who it was.

"Kacchan, are you still hungry?" Deku asked and my stomach growled again at the smell of hot dough slathered in tomato sauce and covered in meat and other things only for the gooey cheese to hold it all together.

"The bear says yes!" I yelled back only to jump when he said, "Here," right next to my ear. I looked up to see not only Deku but another guy with bright red, spiky hair standing behind him holding the pizza box.

"Kiri?" I smiled up before falling backwards and onto the floor.

"Oh shit," I heard him whisper but Deku was helping me up again before he sat next to me handing me the plate with pizza on it before making not only himself but Kirishima a plate as well.

I ate two slices before Deku cleaned my face and I cuddled into his lap again, not caring about the fact that Kiri was turning red just watching me. I played with Deku's hair for a little bit before I saw a small red mark on his neck and bent down to kiss it, catching Deku off guard again. I giggled at the noise but he didn't try to pull me away so I just nibbled on it a little bit before relaxing into his arms and closing my eyes.

I'm not really tired but keeping them open for so long makes me feel sick to my stomach and I don't want to make the bear in my stomach angry again.

"So, this is actually happening?" I heard Kiri ask and Deku hummed in agreement. "What are you going to do? I know that you've been assigned to take care of him for the next three weeks but I don't think they thought any of this would happen." I peek out to see Kiri motioning towards me and I frown, not understanding what he meant. Am I doing something I shouldn't?

"It's okay, Kacchan has been telling me all kinds of things since we got back this morning. Some of it is silly but some of it is really too good to be true," I heard a sad chuckle escape from him and I decided that kissing his neck might help, so I did. I feel his hands tighten their hold around me in response, as if he didn't want to let me go and I snuggled back into him again happy that I made him happy.

"Midobro... He is leaving a hickey on you and it's not small," I ignore my redheaded friend and softly bite at the pink flesh, enjoying the noise that Deku made even more.

"Are you a cat?" I asked, giggling while I kissed along the area before nipping at it again, trying to get him to make the noise again. Maybe he doesn't want Kiri to hear? So I make my way to his ear and whisper, "I like hearing you make that noise." I felt his grip on me tighten again and a similar noise escaped me making me stop what I was doing and look down at myself.

"Am I a cat?" I asked, looking back up at him with wide eyes and I saw Kiri on the other side facepalm and Deku started giggling. I smiled at the music and cuddled back into his arms again. I can get used to this.

***

It's been a month and I know this because I heard Kiri complaining to Deku about it. Am I difficult? Am I doing something I shouldn't?

"Midobro, they are talking about removing you from helping Bakubro and putting you back on patrol," I heard him and I froze when I was outside the kitchen. Deku is leaving? Why?

"Kirishima, who else are they going to get to take care of him without him blowing them up?" Deku asked and I can't help relaxing a little but now I'm confused. I blow people up? How?

"I'm not joking, he hasn't shown any of his usual anger and I haven't seen him use his quirk even once any of the time I'm over here. They are planning to remove both of us and send in some lower ranking heroes instead and if he does well with them they are talking about putting him in a HOME. They don't think he is going to get any better." Now I'm getting angry, this is my home!

"Over my dead body," Deku growled and I heard something odd. I opened the door to find Deku had cut through the roast, bone and all. I hugged him from behind, ignoring how Kiri was staring at the cutting board and the fact that he took a large step back.

"I love you," I whispered low enough that Kiri wouldn't be able to hear it. Deku dropped the knife on the cutting board but quickly picked it up again. I could see the back of his neck turning pink and started nibbling on my spot just so I could hear him gasp. This is starting to become a game to me. This spot on his neck that has been turned a dark reddish purple color is where I'm allowed to kiss and bite as much as I want.

At first I tried covering the other side of his neck too but when he saw it in the mirror he put a stop to that. I can stay here and do it as much as I want or I won't be allowed to do it at all. So I'll just stay here then.

He finished putting dinner into the oven and I was finally able to pull him back to the living room and onto the couch where I could snuggle him however much I want. Kiri must have gotten used to it because now he is only looking at me curiously.

"Hey Bakubro, can you use your quirk?" He asked and I just looked up at him confused.

"What's that?"

...

...

...

"What do you mean, Kacchan?" Deku asked and his voice was all shaky, like something terrifying was behind me. I looked behind me but didn't see anything so I turned back to the sweet broccoli that I had crawled into the lap of.

"I don't understand," was all I answered with. How am I supposed to answer a question that I don't understand? "What is a quirk?"

I could see Kiri sweating but he gave a nervous laugh, "Uh, well it tends to be different for each person but mine makes me harder." He paused to show me what he meant and Deku picked up his water.

"Would that actually help during sex?" Deku spit out the water he had been drinking, thankfully back into the cup, while choking.

"You know what sex is but not what a quirk is?" Kiri asked and to be fair he was glowing red, he might actually be redder than his hair.

"Sex is natural, is a quirk natural?" He just looked at me while trying to stutter out a response but it was Deku that ended up answering me.

"Well it's actually a mutation but it is considered to be natural now. Most people think it's what evolved humans have while only lesser, un-evolved humans are not worthy of it." I frowned at his answer, something doesn't sound quite right but what is it?

"So are people with quirks dangerous? Kiri said something about exploding I think?" I sat waiting for him to answer.

"Some more than others. Like yours sets off small explosions while Kirishima's is harmless unless he hits someone," Deku answered slowly, he is looking at me with a guarded expression and I just look down at my hands.

"If I set off explosions then I'm pretty dangerous huh?" I see him looking away and I can't tell if it's guilt or fear making him do it. "So I would be terrifying to someone without a quirk. I would try everything I can to stay away from others, I think." I mumbled that last part but Deku heard me anyway and he just hugged me tight. He is still refusing to look at me but now I feel bad about how I've been hanging off of him.

When he lets me go I get off of him and sit in the one empty chair a little ways away. What if I hurt him while I'm playing with his hair? I set off explosions but how? I look at the calluses on my hands and figure that I must use my hands, so if I would have accidentally set off an explosion while playing with his hair I could have really hurt him if I was too close to his head.

An empty pit seemed to open up in my stomach and I can't seem to escape the hell that was my mind as I kept seeing the bleeding broccoli over and over again. At some point I looked up to find myself curled up in the chair and they seemed to be arguing between each other but I couldn't hear what about.

"Did I hurt you? I keep seeing the bleeding broccoli. Did I make you bleed, broccoli boy?" I asked while still clenching my hands, hiding them away.

"That... That was a long time ago," it felt like my whole world was shattering as his words made themselves at home.

"So I hurt you and you still stick around? Why wouldn't you run? Why wouldn't you protect yourself? All you said was that it was a long time ago, you never said it was an accident. So not only did I hurt you, I hurt you on purpose," my mind was running a million kilometers a second and it was only getting worse as time went on. Flashes of memories raced through my mind.

The bleeding broccoli turned into deku at all sorts of ages, some as a very small child. Pain, so much pain. I pulled at my hair before trying to just hold my head together. I hurt him. How many times have I hurt him? So badly, the bleeding broccoli, the battered and bruised broccoli, it was never just a scratch or small burn. I could see blood oozing out of his hair and down his face at times, others he was cowering away from me.

"You're afraid of me," it wasn't a question but he tried to deny it anyway but I could clearly see the fear in his eyes from inside my memories. I jumped out of my seat and ran into my room, there wasn't a lock on the door so I sat against it, blocking it as I tried to sort through all the pain in my head.

I don't know when the tears started but eventually I realized that my face was wet with them. "I'm a monster."

I ended up falling asleep there, ignoring all the banging on the door that never seemed to lessen. Deku was panicking on the other side begging me to please open the door. When I woke up I could still hear him crying on the other side but he wasn't trying to break in anymore.

I look down at my hands, now that I know what I am supposed to be able to do I can just sense how I am supposed to do it. I held out my hand and set off an explosion that seemed far too large for what I meant and suddenly I couldn't see or feel anything anymore.

***

*Beep*Beep*Beep*

I woke up hearing a heartbeat monitor, I looked around to see that I am in a hospital again. Damn my head hurts.

"Kacchan!" Deku jumped up from out of fucking nowhere.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I glared at him, confused before I remembered the drug dealer in the alleyway. "Fuck, did someone at least get the shitty dealer? He had a mutation quirk that should be easy to spot. He looked like a walking great white shark."

There were actually a lot of people in the room but almost all of them froze at my words.

"Fuck that means someone let the bastard get away. I'll find the fucker again," I rolled my eyes before telling a nurse to go get me someone to, "Get these fucking needles out of me or I'll do it myself." He went running off leaving me grumbling.

I sit up hissing at the tenderness all over my body before I see all the bandages on my hands and when I looked down I saw more on my chest.

"What the fuck? Did I set off an explosion while I was tripping?" A stabbing pain hit my head and I cradled it as images of bleeding broccoli and a host of other crazy hallucinations sprung to mind. "And this is why drugs are bad. Why would broccoli bleed?" I grumbled at the ridiculousness of it all but then I remembered that Deku was here.

"So how long was I out for? I know they say that shit can put you under for around a week if you get enough of it on you and the bastard threw a whole baggie at me," I grumble trying to check myself over but I can't see much through the bandages. "Looks like they weren't joking about it doing a number on your quirk either. For fucks sake, I haven't burned myself since I was five!"

"Do you remember the drug dealer?" Deku asked and something about his voice was all wrong. He sounds disappointed?

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" I finally turned and you would have to be blind not to see the mark on his neck. "Holy fuck!" He looked up confused and I facepalm trying to think of a way to say it but for fucks sake there is no discreet with that thing.

"So Deku, it's nice that you found someone and all that but you should really consider telling them to ease up a bit? I mean we are supposed to be heroes and well, it's not exactly child friendly?" That took far too much effort to say and I would be lying if I tried to say that it didn't sting but I mean of course he would find someone. Whoever he liked would have to be crazy not to like him, he is the whole package. The strong, sweet, sensitive and caring man that would do anything for anyone, top of the hero charts and he keeps getting sexier as we grow older.

It would be crazy to think he would stay single.

"What are you talking about?" Deku asked, he sounded so tired and damn it with a mark like that I have to wonder if his partner can ever keep their hands off of him.

I pointed to my neck and he looked confused for a second before laughing bitterly. Why do I feel like things ended badly? The look on his face just kept getting worse, okay correction, very badly.

"Something tells me he won't want anything to do with me anymore so no worries," my eyes widened at his monotone voice.

"I'm sorry, did it... I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. They have to be fucking stupid to walk away from you," I tried to comfort him but that just seemed to make him angrier.

"No, it seems that anyone I get feelings for walks away without feeling anything. No matter how long I wait he just doesn't seem to ever look back at me. If I was SMART I would move on," his voice kept getting louder and louder and just shit, he is pissed. "Guess I'll never be smart. I'll go get the doctor and see about getting you checked out. I'll also report that you're back to normal to HQ so once you're healed up you can patrol again."

He slowly stood up and looked back at me once before just walking away.

He. He said he didn't he? So maybe I'm not completely out of luck? I mean it sucks that his heart was so thoroughly broken, like dear All Might, I haven't seen him look this down since I bullied him as a kid.

Just in time Kirishima walked in, he smiled sadly at me and before I could say anything he sat down and put a hand on my shoulder, "Look Bakubro, I know that you don't remember things the way you should and I know that things like quirks can be kind of scary, especially after hurting yourself like this but you need to know that there hasn't been a day since I met you, that Midobro hasn't tried to be by your side. I know you probably don't understand but he loves you so much it hurts to watch, the way that he is always begging you to just LOOK at him. Besides he can take care of himself and if he was truly afraid of you he wouldn't have been taking care of you like this. I know that you like hanging off of him, that you feel safe from your monsters when he is around but if he was afraid of you he wouldn't have come anywhere near you."

It took a moment for me to understand what he was saying but I get the gist of it. My memories are not up to date and the only way to get the information that I need is from Shitty Hair.

"Shitty Hair, you are going to very quickly explain what the fuck you're talking about and you are not going to leave a single detail out," I grabbed his arm keeping him from running away. His words were fast and unbelievable, I've spent the last month with him and Deku and apparently Deku was more than understanding through it all.

"Look here, Shitty Hair, don't you dare tell anyone about how I reacted to my quirk. If you think that was bad, imagine a four year old and instead of it being me, it was Deku who was hurt," I saw his eyes widen in shock at what I was saying. Memories of hurting Deku all those years ago, how much it hurt but even that was nothing compared to what happened afterwards.

"Now imagine that not a single person even tried to scold me, in fact they were all praising me. Telling me how amazing I was while he was all alone in a hospital room while Aunty tried to get the doctors to help him. Deku and I didn't come from rich families and he didn't have a quirk. So they decided to try and pamper me and generally ignored him, since they already knew that I was going to be strong." Rage over the fuckers coursing through me but I just push it down again. It's not like I can do anything about it now.

"Bro, are you okay?"

"No! I'm not okay. The only reason Deku was taken care of back then was because I threw a fit about it and they still bullied Aunty, which is crazy considering how much potential he had thanks to his parents' quirks." I quickly looked around before telling him to keep his mouth shut about any of this.

"If you thought I was scary before, you have a real hell in front of you if you start spreading shit around!" I hissed at him. He held his hands up in defense and we talked some more. Somehow I feel like a large weight has been taken off of my chest, I don't really get it but whatever.

By the time Deku walked in with the doctor, Kiri was done and my head was reeling. I'M the one that left that huge ass hickey on him? But he was so upset, he was acting like he just got dumped for crying out loud! But then again the way I freaked out over my own quirk even before seeing it myself kind of makes sense. Reminds me of when I first got it and I burned Deku on accident.

I stayed quiet only answering the doctor's questions and he smiled at the end. "Great, we'll need you to stay until morning before we have someone use their quirk to heal you the rest of the way but I understand that you already know Recovery Girl so you should understand the basic principle of how this person's quirk works. He is actually her grandson if I remember right." I just nodded and sat back in the bed thankful that Kiri had helped me sit it up because I was going to lose my shit if I had to lay down the whole time.

They left and it wasn't long before chinese food arrived and Kiri shrugged before saying, "Man, I'm sick of hospital food. Eat whichever one you want." He motioned at all the food and Deku and I managed to make ourselves a plate.

There was small chatter but it wasn't until Kiri left, after we cleaned up, that Deku and I were finally left alone again. I cleared my throat but when he looked up he still had that depressing vibe around him.

"So I did that to you, not a lover?" I asked and he looked up only slightly surprised before he nodded. "Was it really okay for me to do that?" I want to bite my tongue off sometimes but I still find the fact that he willingly let me hang on him, kiss him and even bite him, hard to believe.

"I can never say no to you. You would think that I would have learned by now, but I haven't," He let out a sigh before rubbing at his face and looking at the clock. "You are fine now so I guess I'll go home. I can pick you up in the morning, headquarters said they want you to take the rest of the week off to get your bearings. You have been under the influence for over a month after all. I'm supposed to stay close so if you want to go to the store or something so at least pretend not to see me. I won't get in your way," he finished before standing up. "I'll see you in the mor-"

I grabbed his hand and he stopped in the middle and just waited.

"Would you stay if I asked you too?" I barely whispered the words but he looked back at me and just studied me for a little while.

"Depends on i-if you would bother to ask," his voice broke in the middle but he just cleared his throat and finished anyway.

"Please stay," I held my breath, I could see the surprise in his eyes and his eyes flickered to the hard couch before back at me again. "I'll move over," I offered and I swear that there was just a hint of light in his eyes.

He hesitated but eventually he nodded and I tightened my grip on his hand. I pulled him towards me, careful so that if he changed his mind he could easily pull away. When he was lying next to me I handed him the remote to adjust the bed and when he was comfortable I just watched him, uncertain if I should even ask for more.

"I have to know if you want it in order to give it to you," I heard Deku's quiet words and somehow I feel like I've heard them before.

I took a deep breath and asked, "Can I...?" I motioned towards his chest and he opened his arms for me. I was able to lay my head on his chest and curl myself around him, I can get used to this.

We didn't say much after that but I was finally able to relax, for some reason I thought this would be much harder than it actually is. With Deku's arms around me I could finally close my eyes and all the thoughts that have plagued me over the years just seemed to disappear.

Maybe Deku really does keep my monsters away.

"I love you," I mouthed the word but I was careful not to let him see. For now at least I could pretend.