After I had spent several days there, I began getting ready to set off again. This blend of Western and Eastern cultures was of course quite fascinating, but if I may be blunt, that was the only thing it had going for it.
I felt like I had seen enough.
Ultimately, I was leaving without understanding an essential part of the place, but oh well…right? I didn't care enough to really go digging for answers. Though I would listen if anyone cared to explain why the signboards were up.
Well, that's all right. Trying to convince myself that I didn't care, I passed through the gate— "Ah, wait a minute, please, Miss Witch." —and was stopped. The guard was holding his spear out in front of him, blocking my path.
"…Um, what is it?" I'm sure I looked very confused.
"If you can, would you please give us a little more of your time?"
"…? Why would I do that?"
Depending on the time and the situation and the reason, I wasn't opposed to hearing what he had to say. If it's something silly, I'm going to say no and leave, though.
"You've been summoned by the lord and lady."
"...Huh?"
Well, it appears the reason isn't silly at all.
We proceeded all the way down the canal, where I was shown to the castle watching over both cultures. They walked me through the perplexing interior of the keep, a blend of Eastern and Western styles, and finally we arrived at an enormous reception hall.
The hall looked like a Western-style room and an Eastern-style room had been cut in two, and one half of each had been stuck together.
It doesn't go together at all…
I heard someone closing the door behind me as I stepped into the room, and I could see two thrones a little farther ahead. The man and woman seated there appeared to be in the middle of an argument. They didn't seem to notice me there at all.
"I'm telling you, the match ought to be a game of shogi! There's no other way!"
"That's because you're better at shogi! How many times do I have to tell you we ought to play chess!"
"And how many times do I have to tell you, you're better at chess!"
"Grrr…"
"Rrrr…"
The volatile atmosphere seemed like it might erupt into violence at any minute as the two of them glared at each other from their thrones. I cleared my throat to let them know that I was there. Not the most polite thing to do in the presence of royalty, but it was effective in getting them to notice me.
"Huh? You must be…"
"The traveler, aren't you? My, my…"
I bowed. "I was told that Your Highnesses had some business with me, so I came as soon as I was called. How can I be of service?"
"Mm. The truth is—"
The king opened his mouth to speak, but the queen cut him off.
"I'll tell the witch, so you can stop there."
"What the—? I'll explain…"
"No, I will."
Will someone hurry up and tell me what's going on? I don't care who it is… Hello…?
Eventually, after arguing in circles, the king took the lead and told me everything.
"The fact is: This land is on the brink of war. As you can see, this woman and I are not getting along. We agreed to settle things with a contest, but now we can't decide what the contest should be. I've heard you are a neutral party, not associated with either faction, so we want you to decide how we proceed."
"…You can't decide on the contest?" No, before that… "First of all, would you begin by telling me why you want to hold this contest in the first place?"
The king raised his voice, "Because she insulted the people of the Western side! She said, 'People who don't eat rice for breakfast aren't human'!"
Without a moment's delay, the queen interrupted him with an objection. "No, it's because you said, 'People who don't eat bread for breakfast are lower than dogs'!"
"Okay, enough. Both of you be quiet a moment, please."
"..." "..."
This was getting exasperating, so I shut them up and took control of the situation myself. I turned the conversation back to the king.
"Your Highness, when I entered this land, the first thing I saw was a strange signboard. It was a perplexing sign, meant to divide the rice faction and the bread faction, but tell me—exactly what purpose does that serve?"
"It makes it easier to see which side has more people."
"We put them in place so that we could tell which one was more influential."
Why is the queen answering, too…? Well, whatever. Calling her out on it would be too much trouble.
"And what has the result been?" I asked.
The king answered, "There are more people on the Western side."
"There are more people of influence on the Eastern side," the queen added.
"That's why I said we should decide based on the larger number of people."
"No. We should decide a winner based on financial clout. Obviously."
"You don't understand a thing, and you never have."
"I could say the same about you."
"..."
"..."
As the two of them glared at each other again, I suddenly remembered something. What had they been shouting about when I first entered the reception hall? It was chess and shogi, wasn't it? If the argument is over whether to decide through majority rule or through financial leverage, then why were they talking about board games?
Without even waiting for my response, the two of them obstinately resumed their argument. "So we can't decide after all. In that case, I want to choose the method for determining the method for determining the method for determining the method for determining the method for determining the method for determining the method for determining the method for determining the method of holding the match with a game of chess."
"No. Shogi."
"..."
"You don't understand. If we play shogi, you're better at it!"
"You don't understand, you always win at chess!"
"..."
I felt like I had just gotten a peek behind the curtain. Just to be sure, I asked the king and queen, "By the way, when did this quarrel begin?"
The two of them turned to me and answered simultaneously, "Two years ago."
"Ah, I see. Well then, I think you should probably let it go, because you're never going to solve this," I said, and left the palace. The two of them kept on yelling and made no attempt to stop me.
Now I understood why the residents of each town totally ignored the signboards. It had been two years since the king and queen had said they were going to hold a contest and unify under one culture or the other. Time had just passed by without anything happening, and none of the citizens probably cared about a bunch of signboards
erected for the sake of a quarrel.
The signs had already become nothing more than decorations.
Looking at it a different way, it was a sign that the authority of the crown had become meaningless. Right now, no one in the whole land was actually paying attention to what the royals said.
"Ah, Madam Witch. How did you like our country?"
The guard came out to greet me as I returned to the gate from the palace. I passed right by him, and only turned around after I had set foot in the outside world.
Gazing at the curious collision of cultures, I said, "It's a nice, peaceful place." Though I can't speak for its future.
Maybe the king and queen would realize they had been wasting their time and turn their attention back to ruling. Maybe they would keep dragging it out, and the whole place would get stranger and stranger. Or maybe everything would stay as it was.
Whatever ended up happening, it was no concern of mine.
"That's right; it is a nice place, isn't it?"
The gate guard nodded with satisfaction.