Aizen's POV
The events of yesterday had left me drained. My father had whisked Desiree away for a private conversation, and she narrowly avoided a gunshot in the forest. The mere thought of her being in danger sent a surge of anger coursing through me. Despite her being my "fake" wife, the idea of harm coming to her was unbearable. All I wanted was to ensure her safety, to find her and hold her close. Thank God, nothing horrible happened. She was just shaken.
She should've listened to me when I warned her about the woods. As always, she's stubborn.
This morning, I awoke to find her absence, her warmth no longer beside me. Panic gripped me; the events of yesterday replayed in my mind. What if she had ventured out again? This couldn't end well.
I bolted down the stairs, my eyes immediately drawn to the clock.
6:16
"Good morning, Aizen-sama," Hikaru greeted with a light bow.
"Where is she?" I demanded, my hands instinctively reaching for her shoulders, causing her to flinch. "Sorry," I quickly apologized, regaining my composure.
Hikaru chuckled, waving off my concern. "Don't be alarmed," she reassured me, gesturing outside. "Ms. Desiree is at the pool. She swims once a day, remember? Usually in the mornings, sometimes in the evenings."
Relief washed over me like a soothing wave.
II stepped out through the glass door, feeling the sun's rays gently brush over me. Desiree was swimming laps, completely absorbed in her routine. I stood there for a while, simply watching her graceful movements. She seemed oblivious to my presence, and I found myself captivated by her effortless strokes. Living near the beach must have honed her swimming skills.
As the sun rose higher in the sky, Desiree emerged from the pool, her figure glistening with droplets of water. My gaze lingered on her, unable to tear away. She was stunning. In a knitted red triangle bikini and mid waist bottoms, she exuded confidence and allure. Her curves were enticing, her toned physique a testament to her dedication. I couldn't help but admire her firm abs, sculpted shoulders, and shapely legs. The sunlight danced across her skin, casting a radiant glow around her.
Desiree squinted in my direction, momentarily puzzled. Without her glasses, she seemed to struggle to recognize me. As she approached the edge of the pool, water cascading from her long hair to her toes, realization dawned on her. Hastily donning her glasses, she nearly stumbled backward in surprise at the sight of me. With swift movements, she reached for her robe, wrapping it around herself as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
As I approached her with a playful smirk, I couldn't help but marvel at Desiree's stunning appearance. Despite always knowing she was beautiful and attractive, the sight of her now left me awestruck, realizing just how much of a goddess she truly was.
Desiree bit her lip nervously, hastily clutching her robe around her body.
"Good morning, Princess," I greeted warmly, a hint of admiration in my voice as I gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She looked absolutely radiant, her presence captivating me in a way I hadn't fully realized before.
"Good morning." Desiree's whispered greeting carried a hint of bashfulness, her cheeks tinted with a delicate blush that only added to her allure. I couldn't help but notice the adorable flush spreading to her ears, a sight that amused me more than it should have. "I didn't think you'd be up this early, Aizen."
"Well, I thought I'd seize the day. Should we eat breakfast?" I replied smoothly, the suggestion of breakfast offered as a way to deflect the lingering tension.
Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, her concern evident as she gently touched the dark circles under mine. "You really should catch up on sleep," she insisted, her finger tracing the fatigue that marred my face. "I hate to think you've been losing sleep because of me... You look exhausted."
Intercepting her hand with a playful tug, I pulled her closer until her head rested against my chest. A soft chuckle escaped me at her half-hearted attempt to hide her annoyance. "Is that your subtle way of telling me to linger in bed with you?" I teased, one hand lightly pinching her cheek while the other found its place at her waist. I was taken aback by her lack of resistance to my touch.
"I'm wet, Aizen," she clarified.
A blush crept onto my cheeks, only for me to realize she referred to the water from her swim.
"Why the blush?" she inquired, her brows furrowing.
You can't be serious, Desiree. I'm sure you're not that innocent. I thought, staring deep into her black orbs.
Her innocence momentarily caught me off guard, but as I locked eyes with her, a flicker of realization crossed her features. Despite her unreadable expression, her hand met my cheek with a sharp slap, leaving a mark on my otherwise flawless complexion. "Pervert!" she accused, attempting to pull away from my grasp.
Unable to contain my amusement, I chuckled softly. Though I had no intention of acting on her assumption, the fact that she labeled me as such only added to the amusement of the situation. Lifting her effortlessly, I felt her gaze pierce through me as I teased, "Back to the bedroom," Carrying her with ease despite her protests, I deposited her gently onto the bed in our shared room.
"I told you, I'm wet," she reminded me, pointing to herself. "The sheets are all wet now."
With a mischievous grin, I playfully tugged at the ribbon of her robe, revealing her bikini-clad form beneath. The sight of her blushing only fueled my amusement, prompting another hard slap from her delicate hand. "You seem to have developed a habit of slapping your husband," I remarked with a playful poke to her forehead.
Her glare only intensified as she quickly retied the knot of her robe. "Stop being a pervert!" she scolded, her tone laced with equal parts irritation and embarrassment.
I couldn't help but laugh, gently tilting her chin to meet my gaze. For a moment, there was a quiet intensity between us, our eyes locked in a silent exchange.
"Do you really want to spend the next five years playing games with me, Aizen?" she asked, her tone laced with a seriousness that caught me off guard.
I smirked at her question. "Yes," I replied, relishing in the mix of irritation and defiance that flashed across her features.
"Hmp!" she grunted, turning away in annoyance, clearly not interested in further conversation.
Undeterred, I tilted her face back towards me, drawing her closer. Despite her resistance, I couldn't shake the urge to probe further.
Damn it!
"If I were to be serious, would you allow me?" I found myself asking, the words escaping before I could fully process them.
I shouldn't have asked that.
Her gaze softened, her breath quickening as her cheeks flushed even deeper. But just as quickly, a flicker of sadness replaced her irritation. "Stop treating me like a toy, Aizen," she admonished, her voice tinged with a mixture of frustration and hurt. "I'm not one of your properties."
Her words struck a nerve, igniting a surge of conflicting emotions within me. She was right, of course. She wasn't an object to be owned or controlled. But the realization only fueled my desire to possess her, to make her mine in every sense of the word. Marriage held a sacred significance for her, and I couldn't ignore the allure of claiming her as my own. Yet, I had made a promise to her, a promise of freedom that I couldn't break.
"I want you," I declared, my voice firm.
At this point, there's no denying that I do.
Her eyes widened in disbelief, a flash of anger crossing her features. "Didn't I just tell you to stop playing with me?" she snapped, her tone laced with frustration.
"I'm not," I insisted, pulling her close to me, enveloping her in my embrace. Pressing my face against her shoulder, I let out a sigh, my breath mingling with hers. "I mean it. I really do want you."
"You want me," she repeated, her voice devoid of warmth. "Well, I don't want you." With a coldness that sent a chill down my spine, she pushed away from me, her eyes filled with seriousness. "I don't want you, Aizen. And even if I did have feelings for you, your desire for me isn't enough." Pausing for a moment, she continued, her words cutting through the air with precision. "Last night, when you saved me… I asked you to stay. In that moment, you made me feel safe. All I wanted was to trust you, even if just for a moment. But I can't, can I? This dynamic between us is toxic. You already have five years of my life, Aizen. I won't give you more than that."
"Why do you keep rejecting me, Desiree?" I demanded, pinning her down with a firm grip, her wrists held above her head. With my other hand, I pressed against her waist, holding her in place. "Why?" I questioned, my voice icy with frustration. "All throughout the sixth grade, you rejected me…" A sadistic laugh escaped me as I recalled the memories. "You even flirted with Matte Ford," I spat out the name through gritted teeth. "Did you enjoy playing with me? Making me jealous?" My hold on her tightened as the painful memories flooded back. "And when you dismissed my feelings after you left? When you continued to reject me after we met again? Did it bring you pleasure?"
I despised it. Always had. Her cold rejections wounded my pride as a man. No one but Desiree had ever dared to reject me. Was it her rejection that stirred these unwanted emotions within me? It's her rejection, right? It's the reason why I'm feeling things I shouldn't. Her mind games…
Confusion clouded her features, her lips trembling as she struggled to comprehend. "What are you talking about?" she managed to ask.
Why are you doing this to me, Desiree? No matter what I do, in the end, all I want is you… I shouldn't, but it's you. The moment I saw you, these unwanted feelings resurfaced. You never left my mind, so I ended up coming back for you. Damn it! I can't fall in love… I don't want to bring you into my dangerous world.
Desiree's words struck me like a thunderbolt, each syllable laced with an intensity that left me reeling. Her tone was as cold as the steel of a blade, her gaze piercing through me with an icy clarity. "Aizen," she began, her voice steady but filled with an unmistakable edge, "I didn't pursue Matte to spite you. He was a source of genuine happiness in my life." With a brief pause, she closed her eyes, as if gathering her resolve before continuing. "And as for your claims of rejection during our school days, I don't recall such instances. Yes, I may have hidden my feelings, but I never treated you with the same disrespect you showed me." Her words cut through the air like a knife, her frustration palpable. "We were children back then, Aizen. Let it go, you fucking psycho!" Her voice rose with each word, a simmering anger beneath the surface.
"And don't even get me started on our reunion," she continued, her tone softening slightly but still holding an undeniable weight. "I genuinely wanted to reconnect with you as friends. But instead of honesty, I was met with manipulation and mind games." Sadness crept into her eyes, a fleeting glimpse of vulnerability amidst her resolve. "You've been playing with my emotions for far too long, Aizen. It's time to stop shifting the blame and take responsibility for your own actions."
Her accusations hit me hard, forcing me to confront the truth of my actions. As much as I wanted to defend myself, I knew she was right. I had been the one toying with her emotions, hiding my own feelings behind a facade of indifference. It was a bitter realization, but one I couldn't deny.
Desiree's admission caught me off guard, her words resonating in the air like an unexpected revelation. "Do you hate me?" I dared to ask, bracing myself for her response.
"No," she replied, her voice carrying a weight of its own. Her admission was like a breath of fresh air amidst the tension that enveloped us. "I honestly thought I did… but I can't seem to." She paused, her hands moving to cover her face as if to shield herself from the raw vulnerability of her confession. "I'm such a fucking idiot!"
Her words hung in the air, heavy with self-recrimination and regret. Despite the tumultuous emotions swirling between us, her honesty struck a chord within me, stirring a mixture of emotions that I struggled to comprehend.
I gently removed her hands from her eyes, my heart aching at the vulnerability I saw in her tear-filled gaze. The last thing I wanted was to cause her any more pain. "I'm sorry," I apologized sincerely, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. "You're right. I was wrong. I can't offer any excuses for my past actions, so I won't." With care, I helped her to sit, silently praying for a chance at redemption. "I was a horrible friend, incapable of expressing my true feelings… Would you consider giving me another chance?"
This plea felt like a leap of faith, a gamble I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to take. This… this is something I might regret.
"But I can't trust you," she countered, her voice wavering with uncertainty.
"Then I'll earn it,"I vowed, determination seeping into my words. "I genuinely want to know you, Desiree. Not just the version of you I've seen in reports."
"You're bad at this," she remarked dryly, her skepticism evident.
"I promise to prove myself to you," I swore earnestly.
Desiree hesitated, her expression torn between doubt and the flicker of hope. Finally, she nodded reluctantly, accepting the hand I extended to her. "As a gesture of gratitude for saving me last night…" She paused, her words heavy with caution. "I'll give you this chance… But if you ever toy with my emotions again… If you betray my trust once more… Consider this conversation null and void, and we'll proceed with our marriage as per the terms of our contract."
Desiree Gotz… You'll be my downfall.