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The first week in the dorm? Parang blur lang. Ang bilis ng takbo ng araw, ang daming bagong mukha, mga bagong karanasan. Ang bawat sulok ng building, parang may mga kwento, may mga buhay na nag-uugnay, nagsasalo-salo. Yung mga kwento ko noon—yung mga pag-iyak sa harap ng salamin, yung mga gabing puno ng pagsisisi—unti-unting naglalaho. Para bang may bagong chapter na nagsisimula, and I wasn't going to be the same Alexa anymore.
I woke up early that Saturday. Trying to keep the routine alive. Alarm went off, but I was already awake. Lumabas ako ng kwarto, naglakad sa hallway ng dorm, feeling like I was walking into a new life. The sun was barely up, and the quiet of the morning felt like home.
Paglabas ko, nakita ko ang campus na binabalot ng golden light. Ang hangin, malamig pa, parang galing sa malalayong bundok. I took a deep breath, letting that peace wash over me. This is the start of something new, I thought.
But just as I was about to step forward, I heard someone call my name.
"Ale!" Familiar na boses. My heart skipped a beat. And then I froze.
There he was.
Jacob.
His tall figure was standing there, bathed in sunlight, his presence just… commanding, kahit ang suot niya that time, parang super chill lang. His messy hair, a little stubble on his chin, and those eyes—God, those eyes. Always full of questions, like he could see straight through me. But today, there was something different in them. Something softer, like he was waiting for me to say something.
"Jacob," I said, trying to sound casual, but inside, I was freaking out. My heart was pounding.
He smirked. "Wala ka bang class? Up and about early ah."
I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "I like the mornings. Mas tahimik."
He took a step closer, hands in his pockets, and studied me. "Tahimik, huh? I can see that." Then he raised an eyebrow. "I was thinking of grabbing breakfast. You in?"
It felt like the universe was messing with me. It's been so long since I really connected with anyone since I was reborn. But today, parang may boses sa loob ko na nagsasabing it was time to let go of the walls I built.
"Sure," I said before I could even second-guess myself.
We walked side by side toward the cafeteria, but something in the air between us felt different. Parang may tension. May unspoken understanding na hindi namin pareho kayang aminin. I stole a glance at him—he was looking straight ahead, but there was a small smile on his face, not big but enough to make my heart race.
Pagdating namin sa cafeteria, naamoy ko na agad ang mga itlog at bacon. We stood in line, both scanning the options, but my mind was somewhere else. Jacob had a way of making things feel… complicated. Parang he made me question myself, even when I didn't want to.
"Pancakes again?" he asked, glancing at the menu.
I blinked, surprised. "You know I always get pancakes."
He laughed, deep and low, a sound that felt so familiar yet made my chest tighten. "Yeah, I remember." His gaze softened, like he was remembering something.
I tried to ignore the flutter in my chest. Hindi ko na sanay sa ganitong attention. I wasn't used to people remembering me this way. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my cool. "So, how's your week?"
"Busy," he said. "But I'd say it's been good. How about you?"
I hesitated. The truth was right there, but I wasn't ready to share it with him. Not yet. Not now.
"Okay lang," I replied, voice steady. But deep down, I was anything but okay.
As we sat down, the conversation just flowed. Tanong dito, kwento doon, parang walang pinagbago. Pero deep down, alam ko na this moment was temporary. May mga bagay sa nakaraan ko na hindi ko kayang iwan, and Jacob… Jacob was the kind of guy who could easily unravel all the secrets I was still trying to keep hidden.
I had loved Jacob for as long as I could remember. Since we were kids, he was always there—my best friend, my constant. Pero that was before I found out he had feelings for someone else. Si Liandra, my best friend, at siya. And I stayed in the shadows, too scared to admit how I felt. Too scared to ruin our friendship.
It wasn't that I didn't care for Liandra—she was my friend. But when I looked at Jacob, I couldn't help but feel something deep inside me. Something that hurt more than I wanted to admit. I never told him. I couldn't. It felt wrong, especially since Liandra was my closest friend.
But that was before. And now? Hindi na ako yung Alexa na dati.
"So, any big plans for the semester?" Jacob asked, pulling me back to the present.
I looked at him, our eyes locking for a moment, and for a second, everything around us just slowed down. "I'm just… taking it one step at a time," I whispered.
Jacob smiled softly. "That's good. Kasi life's too short to rush through it."
I nodded, but didn't say anything else. I wasn't sure if he understood how much I had to fight just to be here. How much I had to lose. But just being with him, even in silence, made that fight feel worth it.
As we finished breakfast, Jacob stood up and stretched, ready to leave. "I'll see you around," he said, winking, playful as ever. But there was something behind that—something heavier.
I watched him walk away, feeling that familiar twist in my stomach. Ang bawat hakbang na iniiwan niya ay parang ang bawat hakbang ko rin patungo sa isang bagong buhay—pero parang sa bawat hakbang ko, may parte ng nakaraan ko na ayaw ko pang iwan.
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