"If you continue acting stubborn you're only going to make things hard for yourself." Shinobu demanded, why was Douma denying what she was saying he should appreciate the fact that someone took the time to explain this to him.
"I'm not you're being naggy right now I said we have to keep going!"
"Fine have it your way I guess."
How am I doubting my decisions? What is Shinobu talking about I'm perfectly fine... right? This conversation was starting to get to him. Well that guilty feeling in my chest did worry me a little. Douma placed his palm against his chest to check. It's still going on for some reason how do I get it to stop?
"Ugh go away leave me alone!"
Shinobu looked at the blonde in confusion. What's going on with him? She thought. This was strange.
"If you don't start moving we're gonna be stuck here!"
Douma sat down in silence. It seems he was distraught by something. But there wasn't any time to sit around in the vent they had to keep going and Shinobu didn't want to stay in this area, not when they could possibly be watched by other creatures roaming the vents.
Taking a deep breath, Shinobu decided to find out what was bothering Douma all of a sudden. Her expression changed from annoyed to concern.
"Even if those monsters are eradicated, you guys still won't forgive me and I understand. This is partly my fault I can't do anything to save the innocent because of a mistake I made." Douma said solemnly.
"What are you talking about? You saved those people at the city! I'm sure they're grateful for that." Even though there was no evidence to suggest that's how they felt, Shinobu was certain anyone would.
"Are you sure about that Shinobu? Some of them looked horrified even when they saw me. You could tell they wanted to step off the same spot I was standing at. It doesn't matter if I was saving them, you could hear cries and screams when I unleashed that cloud of frost at those monsters. They didn't see me any different from them."
Shinobu paused and looked away. She was starting to understand where Douma was coming from, it's true most of the people in that part of the city were afraid not just of those alien creatures but Douma as well. They never expected an encounter with someone who could freeze just about anything including them whether it'd be for his own amusement or something much worse.
Admittedly, if Shinobu didn't know Douma, she'd be terrified too. In fact sometimes she does question his motives, for all she knows he could have an agenda at the back of his mind with Shinobu helping him achieve it without her knowledge.
But if he was hiding something from her, then he wouldn't take the trouble to fix the bonds she has formed with Eiko and even Atashi who insulted her. They've been trying to solve this case for two days, Douma could simply just leave her behind if he didn't care about her. So maybe he was sincere after all. There was never a time where she lost sight of him.
"That's why you avoid using your abilities sometimes, especially in front of people. I know how tough things have been for you, but dwelling about what happened isn't going to solve anything." Shinobu reassured him but it seems the blonde wasn't convinced. "I don't want to see you get affected by what others say, you're a hero and if they refuse to believe that, then that's on them. As long as we continue doing what's right."
"Look Shinobu, I've never felt this extreme level of guilt before and here I'm the cold prick that even you see me as. If I'm feeling this way, something is very wrong so just try to understand the point that I'm trying to make here it's really not that hard," Douma continued with the same dull tone in his voice. "Those giant silverfish rampaged the city because I couldn't stop them but it's not because I wasn't able to, I restricted myself from doing so because of my own actions, the storm that humanity is suffering from in the midst of this."
Shinobu was a little offended by Douma's words. "First of all you're the one who is totally fine with being called that. So don't get mad if even your own friends call you one because that's how you treat people. Secondly, nobody is blaming you for any of that you're putting the burden on your own shoulders."
Is she serious right now? Well maybe I shouldn't point fingers at myself but it's the truth and everybody else would agree. Shinobu you really need to start accepting the reality of the situation. Sitting upright, Douma looked at Shinobu feeling a little bad that he didn't explain the problem clearly to her.
"Well let me just put it this way. Both the alien creatures and I are considered anomalies in your world because of our unknown origins. What makes us differ from each other is our intention, I'm on the good side while those things are on the complete opposite. Even your own understanding of otherworldly beings supports this statement." Douma went on he wasn't sure if Shinobu was keeping track of this but at least he was trying to get her on the same page.
"But one thing's certain and it's not about disliking what you hear. The truth of the matter is that the impact of me and the alien creatures' actions aren't so different from each other. Look at what's happening to your world right now. Why do you think I feel sickeningly guilty even though I should be patting myself on the shoulder for being this hero that you guys think I am?"
"I think it's because you can't get over the fact that you were mistreated by others despite all that you've done for them. This tragedy has turned you into an empty shell that's just waiting to be flipped over to its normal self who isn't bothered by all this nonsense." Shinobu responded with a calm demeanor. "And I can confidently say that's true because I've seen the actual side of you that's not this cold-hearted person. Sure you still have this idea that you're better than everyone but at least it's not that overwhelming."
Well that was somewhat true, Shinobu got him there. But nothing has proven to him that humans and some lifeforms out there are always grateful. A lot of times great efforts get brushed off like they have no significant impact anymore.
"Hmm overwhelming you say? And did I just hear the word cold-hearted again? You just don't get it do you?" A smile was creeping on his lips, this was amusing since Douma had just explained a whole lot of information about his presence in society and Shinobu was still insisting that the ongoing events weren't his fault. Kind of true yes, but completely? Definitely not but maybe just like Atashi, Reiji and the others, she looked up to him, which made him feel a little better.
"CAN YOU JUST CUT IT OUT?!" Shinobu suddenly yelled in anger, startling Douma for a second. This was going to be dreadful.
Meanwhile two delivery men were discussing about the strange sounds coming from the vent in the storeroom.
"Did you hear that?" One of them asked the other standing beside him.
"Yeah it's coming from up there. What could it be?"
"I don't know but it's giving me the creeps." Scratching their heads both men continued looking at the vent in the ceiling.
"I'll say maybe this place is haunted."
"Probably just a rat."
"Rats don't make that kind of noise, listen closely it sounds like someone yelling."
The collar of the blonde's shirt was constricted in Shinobu's grasp. "WE DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE DAY DOUMA YOU HEAR ME? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!"
Both men exchanged fearful glances with each other.
"That's one angry ghost." The taller and bigger man said.
"So the rumors are true, the spirits of the specimens do haunt this place."
"Let's get out of here right now before it comes."
Placing the boxes on the floor. The men took one last look at the vent above them and rushed out of the storeroom the door wide open for any person to just walk in.
Shinobu released her grip on the collar of his shirt. The shrine leader panted and nearly collapsed. "Don't say another word because I'm not hearing it." Crossing her arms, Shinobu looked away from him.
"Let's just focus on the plan." Douma said as he got up and rubbed the side of his head.