The plane ride was long and nerve-wracking. Bodhi knew that Holden didn't want him at Perri's graduation, but there was no way he was going to miss seeing her. She told him they needed to talk. He was willing to eat his balls if he had to in order to see her.
When he finally got to baggage claim, he saw Lewis. He had reluctantly agreed to pick him up.
"Hey. Bodhi," Lewis said, smacking their hands together.
"Hey. Thanks for coming to get me."
"If anyone asks, you took an Uber. Holden will cut my dick off if he knew I was doing this. You really fucked up this time," Lewis said, unlocking his car.
"It's not what you think."
"Bodhi, over three million people have watched that video," Lewis said, pulling out of the airport.
"Please don't remind me." He was looking out the window. He missed home. Even though it was almost January, it was warm and sunny outside. England was very rarely sunny. "Can we talk about something else? Anything else? What's new with you?"
Lewis smiled. "I got myself a beautiful girl."
"No shit. Congratulations man. Who is it? Do I know her?"
" Yeah. You do. All of us do."
"Oh, Christ. Please tell me it's not Katie."
Lewis laughed. "It's not Katie."
"Well, don't keep in suspense. Tell me."
"Ashley."
"Ashley! Dude! How did you land Ashley? I never in a million years would have guessed Ashley. She's way too good for you," Bodhi said.
"You're right. You're absolutely right. I am beyond lucky. And guess what?"
"I don't know. But I am sure you're going to tell me."
"We haven't even slept together yet. Isn't that great," Lewis said, smiling.
Bodhi turned in his seat and looked at him. "What am I missing?"
"I really like her. She's got my heart. I am smitten. I've never felt this way for anyone. I want to do this right. I will wait till she tells me she's ready."
"I'm happy for you. For you both. Real love is fucking amazing. It's the best feeling there is."
"Then why did you fuck it up?"
Bodhi wanted to tell him the truth. He wanted everyone to know the truth. But who was going to believe him? Janessa was right. Plus, he knew the fewer people who knew about the drugs, the better. And he couldn't prove it. It would just be a he said, she said situation. He didn't see any way out of it. Now here he was, four hours from seeing his Periwinkle. She would love him till she walked off that clinic's campus, and then she was going to find out about him and Janessa.
"It's complicated. I didn't mean for it to happen."
"But it did," Lewis said.
"She's going to find out, and it's going to destroy her. I'm going to lose her forever. I had so many plans for us. I've been planning a life with her since I was sixteen. Just waiting for her to be ready."
"Man plans. God laughs. You just have to let life happen. Try the best that you can do to live the life you want, but there is a hundred percent chance that it's not going to be what you expected."
"When did you get all philosophical?" Bodhi asked.
"I eat a lot of fortune cookies."
"She's going to hate me, Lewis. She's going to fucking hate."
"I don't know what to say to you. You're right. I think you are trying the whole hope for the best but expect the worst. Dude, there is no hope in this situation.
"Then there's Holden. I'm going to lose my brother. I'm going to lose everything. I hope he doesn't say anything to her before I can see her. Even if I can get two minutes with her before the shit hits the fan. I need one last moment with her where she still loves me unconditionally."
They drove in silence the rest of the way. Bodhi put his AirPods in and listened to his Spotify playlist he had with Perri. They made it so they could listen to it and know that the other was hearing the same music. The same memories. He went through a range of emotions. He smiled, and he laughed, and he cried as discreetly and quietly as he could. Lewis noticed, but he just left him alone.
"We're here, dude." Lewis pulled into Bodhi's driveway. "So, see you in a couple of hours?"
"Yeah. Hey, maybe mention to Holden about not. Saying anything to her about Janessa till he absolutely has to. I just want my moment."
"Sure. I think I can do that."
"I never did ask. How is Ashley taking the whole thing?"
Lewis sighed. "She thinks you're a piece of shit."
"Well, we seem to have the same opinion of me. How about Jake?"
"I think he's indifferent about it. He always liked Perri, but he's not her brother or her keeper."
"What about you?" he asked with trepidation.
"You'll always be my friend. I'm just disappointed in you."
Bodhi felt like his heart was being squeezed. "I'm sorry. I would rather you just hate me."
"I can get over the disappointment. You just need to process that Holden will never get over this. And if by some miracle he does, you better thank God."
"God and I are not on very good terms right now. I have a feeling he doesn't believe in me."
"Alright, you better get going if you want to make it there on time."
"Thanks for the ride. I'll make sure I give you five stars," Bodhi said, pulling his bag out of the backseat.
He let himself into the house. "Dad? You here?"
McClain O'Neill came out of the kitchen. "Hey! Bodhizafa! How are you doing, son?" He hugged his boy. Bodhi and his dad grew closer after his mom had left.
"Hey, Dad. How's life been for the last few months? I haven't heard from you much."
"MCCLAIN! ARE YOU IN THE KITCHEN?" a female asked, coming around the corner.
"Oh. Asked and answered. Dad, you know dating a teenager is not acceptable. You're not Jerry Lee Lewis.
"You're right. He is charming." She came over and shook his hand. "Hi Bodhi. I'm Monica. I am so happy to meet you finally. Congratulations on being with the Eagles. We have been watching you on the BBC."
"Really?"
"Of course, kiddo. You are doing amazing, by the way. You aren't going to be there for long. Someone is going to snatch you up. I'm crossing my fingers for the Drillers."
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Dad. I have only been playing professionally for four months. And it's really hard not being home."
"Then maybe you can get drafted by the Tennesse Black Bears," Monica said with enthusiasm.
He wanted to roll his eyes, but he knew that she was only trying to be supportive. "That would be great if that could happen," Bodhi said.
"Well, I will let you two catch up. McClain, I will see you at the party later." She kissed his cheeks. "I love you. Bodhi, it is so nice to meet you finally." She walked out.
"Beer?" McClain asked.
"Yeah, sure."
He went into the fridge and pulled out two beers. Bodhi opened it and took a sip. He made a face. He no longer liked domestic beer.
"What's what? Are you a beer snob now?"
"I am given free beer. It's the non-official beer of the Eagles. It's all I drink as far as beer is concerned. Otherwise, I now have an affinity for whiskey."
"Speaking of which, sit down. We need to talk."
"Shit," he said under his breath.
He sat down on the barstool at the island.
"So. have you been drinking a lot?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because you must have been fucking blackout drunk when you were fucking around on Persephone."
He started to peel the label off the beer. "I guess you can say that."
"You guess?" his father asked, bringing the beer up to his lips.
"Let's just say I drank too much, and I wasn't in control of my actions. Dad, I barely remember anything from that night."
"That's what you're going with?"
"Dad, you know me. I won't lie. Lies get you in trouble. I learned from what Mom did to us. I think the last time I lied was when I broke the riding lawn mower when I was twelve."
"With that being said, I am worried about you, Bodhi Patrick O'Neill. What you did is completely out of character. You love Persephone. I have never seen someone as in love as you were."
"I am not were. My love for her is immeasurable," Bodhi said.
"Did we need to have an invention? If you are drinking to the point of blacking out and not being in control of your actions is not right."
"No, Dad. I do not need an invention. It was the first time I had ever been blackout drunk and out of control. And when I drink, I stay home. I didn't want to go out that night, and I Didn't want to have sex with that woman."
His father spit out his beer. "You what! You had sex with her!"
"Well, Dad, I woke up the next morning, and we were both naked in my bed. So, yeah, pretty sure we did." And she openly admitted to me that she drugged me and sexually assaulted me.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Bodhizafa! I am so disappointed in you."
"You're not the only one. I know what I did was stupid and irresponsible."
"Please tell me you aren't going to the graduation or the party tonight."
"I have to go take a shower, Dad. I have to see her. She is the only thing that keeps me going. She's the only reason I am playing as well as I am."
"Haven't you done enough to screw up this poor girl's life? What do you think is going to happen when she sees you?"
"Hopefully, she hasn't seen it yet. I don't even know how it got over here. Americans do not give a shit about British basketball. Why do they all of a sudden?"
"Well, around here, you are the hometown hero. And nowadays, the world travels fast. And the video is what did you in. If it was just the pictures in the British tabloids, you may not have had this issue."
"I couldn't stop people from taking videos on their phone," he said, standing up, pacing, running his fingers through his hair.
"No. But you could have just not done anything worth filming."
"Don't you think I know that? God, there is nothing I can do about it now. I wish I could. But I can't."
"You can do something. You cannot go to Perri's graduation or her party," McClain stressed to him.
"I'll hide behind a tree or something. It's possible she doesn't even know about it. She wasn't allowed on social media or the internet, and I highly doubt anyone texted her about it. People know it would have been a trigger."
"Look, you're an adult, and I can't stop you, but you are an adult, and you are old enough to know better."
"Thanks for the advice, Dad. I have to go take a shower and get ready. I'm going. If she asks me to leave, I will. But, until I know she doesn't want me there, I have to see her. I love her. I love her with every fiber of my being. I want to marry her. I want to have a family with her. I want to use my last breath to tell her that I love her," he said with pain in his eyes.
"I don't think that's in the cards, Son. I just think this is too big. What if she did this to you? What would you think? What would you do? How would your heart feel?"
"I would feel exactly the same as I do right now. That's how horrible I feel about what I have done. It's not self-pity. It's guilt and regret. It's the pain I feel about what I have done to her."
He walked out of the kitchen before his father could say another word.
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"You look beautiful. You could look like a zombie, and he would still think you are the most beautiful girl in the world. That boy loves you. No diggity, no doubt," Joanna said, slipping on her shoes.
"I can't believe this day is here, Jo-Jo. I am so excited he was able to come home for me." She put on a thin layer of lip gloss. So, how do I look? Do you think anyone else will be wearing a skirt with a turtleneck and a basketball jersey?"
"Again, you look beautiful, and you do you. If I had one, I would wear it with you! Be proud of yourself and your man!" Joanna hooked her arm with Perri's. "You ready to go conquer the world?"
"Yes, but I have one question."
"What is that?"
"Does this outfit make me look fat?"
"You are such an ass," Joanna said with a smile.
"At least I have an ass again!"
They skipped down the hallway to the dining hall where the graduation was being held.
The hall had about two dozen people. Five girls were being released today. People were milling around, drinking punch, and eating small bites. There was a small sign on the table telling them who the food was prepared by. The first listed was Persephone James. She had learned to respect her body and the food that fuels it.
Holden was talking to James and Lewis when he saw him walk in. He became furious. He shoved his glass into Jake's hand and stormed his way over to him. He took him by the jacket and pulled him into a hallway.
"You have some fucking nerve showing up here! I told you in small words that you shouldn't be here. Did I need to draw pictures? Write it in crayon."
"Holden, look---"
"No, Bodhi. You look. She is finally on the path to wellness. Your presence is only going to fuck it up! I am not going to kick your ass here, but as soon as we get back to Kennedy, if you even so much as look at her, I will. Now you need to get in your truck... which I gave you the down payment for; hop back on a fucking plane, go back to English, sit in your apartment that again I paid for, and fuck all the way off from our lives. You understand, you fucking piece of---"
"Bodhi?" Perri had turned the corner and saw a familiar silhouette.
He turned to face her. Here was the moment of truth. Does she know what I did? God, she looks so much healthier. She's glowing.
"BODHIZAFA!" She ran at him as fast as she could in her heels and leaped into his arms. He caught her mid-air and covered his face with kisses. "Oh my God. I missed you so much." She hugged him as hard as she could. She looked at his face. She missed looking into his eyes. She crashed her lips into his, and they shared an intense kiss.
He hadn't been this happy in four months. He thought his heart was going to explode. It pounded against his chest. His stomach was in knots. Holden watched with pure, unadulterated disgust on his face.
She finally released him, and her feet hit the floor.
"You look amazing. And seeing you in that jersey makes you look absolutely stunning. I'm almost at a loss for words."
"Perri, we have to go. Nurse Ratchet is looking a little pissed." She took her by the wrist. "Oh, hi, Holden. It's so nice to see you again. You look even more hot than the last time I saw you," Joanna said, making him blush.
"It's nice to see you to Jo. Talk later, yeah?"
"She twirled a piece of her long red hair. "Of course. Maybe we can not talk too." She gave him a sly smile.
"Ladies. We need you in here now," the nurse said.
"Okay. We are on our way. When do we get our phones back?" Joanna said.
"As soon as you walk out the door."
"I actually liked being unplugged," Perri said.
"Except for the two hours a week you got it back so you could talk to stud muffin," Joanna said with a laugh.
"Stud muffin?" Bodhi said with one of his panty-dropping smiles.
"I never referred to you as stud muffin."
The nurse popped her head out again. "GIRLS!"
"Alright, keep your control top pantyhose on!" Joanna said, taking Perri's wrist. "Let's go, Lil' Sis."
After the girls entered the dining hall, Holden turned to Bodhi. "You've been touched by an angel. Enjoy it while you can, asshole. She might not know about it now but is going to find out."
"Just let her have her moment of happiness. I know she is going to find out, but just let her have this."
Holden didn't say anything. He just went back into the hall.
"These girls have worked hard to better themselves. When they came here, they were lost. They found their way back to themselves and persevered. When they leave the safety of here they will need all of you to support them, love them unconditionally, encourage them, and do not enable them! They have each reached their goal, and we want them to maintain it. If you see something, say something. Be honest with them. They deserve the truth. You don't want them to hide their secrets. That is how they ended up here."
Holden stared at Bodhi.
"We thank you all for coming. I know it means the world to these girls. So enjoy some punch and some of the small bites prepared by our staff and our future famous chef Persephone."
Perri curtseyed and smiled wide.
"Congratulations, girls. Godspeed."
They stayed for a half-hour and then headed out the door. "Where's Annie?" Perri asked Holden.
"She wanted to be here, but she had to work."
"You don't have to lie to me. She just didn't want to be here. She couldn't stand me being the center of attention."
Holden said nothing.
"Perri, do you want to ride home with me?" Bodhi asked.
"Yes. I would love that!"
"I wouldn't mind riding with Holden all my lonesome." Joanna took his hand. "Why don't you boys carry out bags to the car? We don't want to burn the calories." She batted her eyes at Holden. Despite how angry he was at the moment, she smiled at her. She led him in the direction of their room.
"How about you? Will you carry my bags so I don't burn the extra calories?"
"Periwinkle, I will not only carry your bags but also give you a piggyback ride to and from."
"Really? I haven't had one of those since I was little."
He got to his knee. "Hop on, Little Lady." She hopped on his back and held on as tight as she could without asphyxiating him.
She inhaled his scent. "Oh, you smell amazing. That is my favorite cologne. Like I wasn't already horny for you." She kissed his neck. She felt the goosebumps erupt on him. She made her way up to his earlobe and gave it a little nibble.
"Okay, this was a really bad idea—the worst in the history of bad ideas."
She ran the tip of her tongue up his neck. "Mmm. I like the taste. Would you like to find out what I taste like?"
"Holy shit, Periwinkle. I am not going to be able to walk in about ten seconds."
"Well, you're in luck because my room is the next one on the right," she said.
Joanna and Holden opened the door and walked out of the room.
"You got a little lipstick on your chin. Right there." She pointed to her chin. Joanna swiped her hand across hers. "I wasn't talking to you Jo-Jo.
Holden turned about fifty shades of red and wiped his chin.
"Okay, you got it. Carry on."
Bodhi carried her into the room and plopped her down on the bed.
He looked at the duffels by the door.
"Yep. I just have to use the bathroom real quick."
"I will be right here."
She went to close the bathroom door. "Hey Bodhizafa."
"Yes?"
"If I forgot to say it, I love you," she said, blowing him a kiss.
"I love you more."
"I love you the most."
I am so fucked. This is really not going to end well. I can't believe Janessa did something so awful to me, but I am the one being punished.