'NO, NO, NO. NOT AGAIN. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING,'
Panic consumed me. I had experienced so much loss. First, Keiren... and now, even as Caedes? Wasn't this life supposed to be better?
I remembered what Jester had told me just before my life as Keiren ended.
"You do not deserve happiness."
***
A few hours ago…
After I finished my bath and had yet another chat with my parents, I left home for a walk. I needed to clear my head. Every single day, it was the same thing: "Worship a god," they'd say.
They were so desperate that they even gave me the option to worship any god, even though doing so would anger our household's god. But they didn't get it. I didn't want an awakening. I didn't want to be part of that world—not again.
As I walked, my mind drifted back to the time I first awakened my soul weapon as Keiren. If only that had never happened, maybe… maybe I could've had a normal life with my sister. Maybe none of this would be happening now.
Suddenly, a siren blared through the city, sharp and terrifying. Before I knew it, explosions were shaking the ground, and my legs were already carrying me home.
I didn't even realize how fast I was running, but the devastation around me…Collapsed buildings, shattered homes, and blood on the streets—made my stomach twist.
It didn't matter if I wanted an awakening or not. The reality was, I had power. And that power was the reason I was still alive. If I hadn't awakened my soul weapon as Keiren, I'd have been dead long ago. My body would still be at the bottom of an ocean, just another soul lost.
"I just wanted to find them," I whispered, feeling a pang in my chest. "I just wanted to find my parents…"
I ran faster, my heart pounding in my ears. No, I couldn't lose them after finally finding them?But when I burst through the door of our home, I realised I was too late.
The first thing I saw was blood—so much blood. My mom lay there, broken and barely alive, her body soaked in it. But my dad and my sister… they were gone.
"Arghh…" I gasped, the sight of my mom's torn body hitting me like a punch to the gut. She was still breathing, but barely. Blood poured from her wounds. She was dying, and I couldn't do anything.
Or could I? Maybe… maybe if I tapped into my bloodline powers, I could save her. I focused hard, trying to summon the cursed power I had dreaded my whole life. But nothing. I could not even feel a flicker of energy. Where had it gone?
I felt utterly powerless. Where was the curse that haunted me as a child? Why was it gone now? Why, when I needed it most?
Then, it all hit me. Why hadn't Sara contacted me in the past two years? What happened to Simon? Why hadn't I felt the thirst for blood anymore? Why was there no news of my existence throughout the domain? As far as I could tell, Egypt should've posted wanted posters for me, but there was nothing.
Almost like… I wasn't in the same world anymore.
"Caedes…" My mom's weak voice broke through my thoughts. I knelt beside her, gripping her hand, feeling how cold it had already become.
"I know your dad's been forcing you to awaken—"
"Mom, don't talk. Please, just don't talk." My voice cracked. I was trying to stay strong for her, "It's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine."
"He loves you... we both do," Her voice was growing weaker by the second. "But son, strength…It's the only thing that matters. We spent our whole lives knowing we weren't strong enough to protect you and your sister. Please don't make the same mistake, Keiren..."
Hearing her call me Keiren—it shattered me. That name. That other life. I couldn't breathe. I held her hand tighter as her voice faded away, as her breath grew fainter. Until finally, she was gone.
And then I broke. I collapsed over her body, sobbing uncontrollably, my tears mixing with her blood. The grief—it felt like a physical wound, like someone had reached inside me and ripped my heart out. I had lost my parents before, as Keiren, but to lose them again…It was too much.
'It was just starting to get better,' I screamed silently, blaming myself for everything—for not being strong enough, for refusing to awaken.
The weight in my chest crushed me. I rocked back and forth, clinging to her hand as if I could somehow pull her back, but she was gone. Her warmth, her love—it was all slipping away.
"Mom, please," I choked out through my sobs. "I need you. I can't do this without you."
My voice broke again, and I made promises I knew I couldn't keep. "I'll awaken, like you and Dad wanted. I'll be a good boy. I'll even become a contestant… just, don't leave me."
I buried my face in her chest, the sobs shaking my whole body. I wanted to scream, to rage, to do anything to undo this nightmare. But all I could do was cry.
Time seemed to stand still as I lay there, my tears falling silently now, too exhausted to continue.
Then, I felt it. A presence.
"Jester, you bastard," I muttered, my voice hollow. "I know you're here. Watching. Gloating."
A flicker of movement appeared beside my mom's body, a mirage-like figure. Jester. His mocking grin made my blood boil. "Ho ho, such bad manners, Keiren. Didn't your mom teach you not to curse?"
I glared at him, hatred burning in my chest. "Shut up. You don't get to talk about her. You don't get to be here."
Jester turned to look at my mom, and for a brief moment, something in his expression changed. His usual amusement faded and his eyes darkened, and that's when it hit me.
It clicked my mind, if I was inhabiting Jester's body then wasn't Irene this retard of a man's mother too-
'Does this mean that this has happened before?' My eyes turned grim, I only now realised how scary it was knowing that the man in front of me had already lived the life I was living.
Jester, he had already lived through this. He knew everything that was happening, everything that was going to happen next. He had already lived my life, just like I was living his.
"You want peace, but you do not wish to protect it. You want to save her, yet you never even tried tapping into your powers," Jester said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. "You've been wrong all along, Keiren. This… is your last chance to make amends."
Suddenly, cracks formed in the sky above us. The ground began to break apart, fissures forming beneath my feet. I lost my balance as the floor shattered, and my mom's body slipped into the darkness below.
"NOOO!" I screamed, diving after her. I couldn't lose her again. Not like this.
But the world around me crumbled, shattering like a glass that breaks. And just before I could reach her, everything turned to black.
***