We walk out the door like normal people.
And set a course for Ichiraku.
It has been 2 months.
The smell of the broth becomes stronger as we get close.
I can almost feel my feet floating as we get close.
We sit on the stool.
Taichi comes with his pure white apron. A whole day of work, yet not a single stain on it.
Speaks volume of the man's expertise.
"What can I get ya today?", he asks with a smile.
"A pork ramen with lots of celery and eggs", Naruto says with his hand up.
I raise my hand.
"Pork ramen. Blast it with beef. Put some butter and 3 slices of cheese. Sprinkle some bacon on it too. Make that pork glisten", I say while slapping the table.
"And make as spicy as Ayame nee", I say while I flash my eyebrows at the only girl in the shop.
Ayame-san goes red.
"Moooo! Sasuke kun , do...don't tease me. Daaad! Say something", she huffs at Taichi.
"Coming right up", Taichi ignores it.
I've been teasing her since ...forever.
She started working here when I hit...maybe 10?
The ramen comes. I smell the fatty calorie bomb of a ramen. Say my prayers and dig in as I feel Naruto's gaze.
I look at him and I look at his bowl.
"On a diet?", I ask casually.
"On a shortcut to heart attack?", Naruto asks.
"I will take my chances", I ignore him.
"Well, good luck with that", Naruto digs in.
"To think, the village's biggest ramen eater will have only pork and eggs", I chuckle.
"It's called saving money? In case you "clan boy" princess never heard of it, this means I don't wanna use my 3 days' worth of money in one bowl of ramen", Naruto retorts.
I take a bite of the beef. The juice ...oooohhhh....!
Naruto gives up since it's clear that right now I have left the mortal realm.
Let's enjoy the ramen.
#########
It's the 1st day.
600 in the morning.
A routine that is hard to alter.
Last night I ate ....then I....drank? Sake?
Who did I drink Sake with?
What? They also kindly left me at home.
I get up and run towards the bathroom as I empty my stomach.
A 13-year-old kid shouldn't be drinking alcohol like this.
How...is it that I am this blank?
I get back to my room.
The smell of barries....ohhh! I drank wine last night.
Then I stumbled and fell on something.
Something huge also toppled over and fell right between my legs.
It's the Kabukiribucho. Oh!....my family jowls....
How did this monstrosity get here?
I look across the room.
See, Jabuja sleeping, .....vertically?
I get close, his back isn't even touching the wall. How is he sleeping? While sitting down?
Gotta learn this.
Knowing it won't be a good idea to wake up someone like him with my.... hands that I don't want to lose.
I hear a clanking sound from the kitchen.
!!!????
Sakura?
No.....she never comes this early. Her godfather has some kind of Anbu-style training for her to do.
I Peak through the sliding door.
Long black hair sways with motion.
Haku is doing the dishes.
I hold my head and sit down on the couch to process what's happening. Or, what happened?
For the love of God, I can't remember shit.
I extend my chakra and tighten my sensory nerves.
There is a .....dead body faint ....but there is a person hidden under the Tatami bed.
ANBU?
As usual, the Konoha special surveillance job.
"What did you do?", I ask the floor.
"Ate commander's Dongo", came a reply after a second later.
Yeah....these jobs are for anbu members on the naughty list.
Kakashi was on it too.
Yeah....they put him on the job to stock Naruto after he almost killed himself in several missions.
"Mind.....filling me in? I don't remember shit. You can come out and have breakfast. If you would like?", I say with a sigh.
There is silence and a sweaty smell.
"Pan cakes", Haku humms .
I.....can't believe it.
I Snap my head at Haku.
He comes in with a tray filled with pancakes and syrup.
"Breakfast is served", Haku sets it up on the table.
I see Jabuja wriggling his way here.
"We make them in Chigiri", Haku says as he reads my expression.
I just sit down and drown myself in the sweetness.
Feeling a stream of tears down my cheeks.
"Mom.....!", the word just slips out my mouth.
"Is this kid still drunk?", Jabuja asks.
Haku shrugs.
I hear a sliding sound.
The anbu has decided to come out and sit for breakfast.
He....looks young. Barely a year older than me.
I knew it, There were several hidden talents among the graduates. They just made me and Sakura come into the spotlight to hire the good ones in Anbu in secret.
Of course, they won't take me in anbu.
The traumatized kid of the Uchiha isn't fit for anbu duty.
But man what a way to live.
Just you and your job. What you do is what defines you, if you are not ....that means you are either dead or went rogue.
The anbu looks at me.
"I didn't join Anbu because I wanted to", is what he says.
Jabuja looks at him and clicks his tongue.
Probably disappointed at the state of Anbu at Konoha. Nevertheless, he takes out a note and writes something down.
The sight of Jabuja taking notes looked .....odd.
Haku sits with a smile and does a short.
I .....don't do prayers. Jabuja didn't either, saving me the trouble of feeling guilty for not joining.
Haku passes me some more pancakes.
His long black hair slides down, which he promptly tugs behind his ear.
If I was gay, I would've fallen in love immediately.
But.....he looks more feminine than any female I ever talked to. He is the embodiment of feminism.
Maybe it's because I AM gay, I'm not falling in love. I stop eating for a second to organize my thoughts.
"Is something wrong?", Haku asks.
Jabuja scoffs at his concern for my well-being.
Nevertheless gets back to writing.
"No ... it's okay", I shake my head.
I am not gay. Nodding to myself, I get back to eating.
I didn't know I had a thing for hair.
I stop eating for a second again.
Maybe it's a Susuke thing? There is no way it's a me thing!
Haku now looks at me with genuine concern.
I wish Naruto was here. He knows my stuff and can explain things in a way that doesn't leave room for misunderstandings.
"The bastard is like that while eating. Has some kind of speed breaker now and then", I hear Naruto's voice.
Naruto jumps out the window.
"Oh, Naruto san! Thanks for coming", Haku beams happily.
So, "San" for him? "Kun" for me?
"I....took the liberty of inviting Naruto to breakfast. Since we met at the grocery", Haku says.
....is he asking me?
That's new. Well, this IS my house.
I just wave my hand dismissively.
Do whatever you want. I don't care.
The anbu silently gulped down 2 pancakes and went back to the attic.
I look at Haku.
"So.....what did I miss last night?", I ask.
"You.....don't remember?", he asks.
I shake my head.
"I tend to forget stuff when I'm tipsy", I say with a smile.
Haku then brings in tea. Not Japanese tea, just black tea.
"I saw some in the kitchen. I hope it's up to your taste", he puts down the cup.
"You forgot milk and sugar", I state.
I take a bit of pancake and dip it in the tea.
Pure bliss.
Naruto does the same.
"Mmmmm!", is the sound that came out.
"You people usually do that?", Jabuja asks.
We shake heads. No, it's just us.
Jabuja again notes down.
"I guess we are getting off-topic quite a bit", the voice came from above.
"Oh...yeah...
Sasuke Kun has ....unique test in everything. It's hard to ignore ", Haku says.
"Let me start it up. The higher-up put all the shit about Jabuja on your head", Naruto scoffs at me.
For some reason, I'm not surprised.
"To be exact, the presence of Jabuja sama has stirred a backlash among the clan heads. They promptly attempted to .....dispose of Master.
But the request for alliance from Mist has strictly stated that master to be the embedder. But the council demanded someone else. So, the current Mizukage has appointed me as ambassador. As I have no criminal record. As the embedder, I demanded Jabuja Sama to be my aid. But for that, I needed clan approval. So, I came to you. You gave me the seal of approval, taking full responsibility for the actions of me and Jabuja inside the village. Permitted us to open embassies in the Uchiha compound", Haku finished.
"Is it still S rank secret?", I ask.
"Due to the amount of exposure it is brought down to A rank", he says.
I scratch my head. That's a hefty amount of things done.
How the hell did I forget this? Did I have an amnesia?
Did someone drug me? Whatta fuck.
I turn on my Sharingan.
Take off my shirt and look closely along my skin.
Haku gasps at my actions.
"This IS his house though", Naruto explains while pinching the bridge of his nose.
Yes, I can be buck-naked whenever the hell I want.
On a more pressing matter, I see trails of Chakra along my fingers and tongue.
Someone cast a genjutsu on me.
But in combination with narcotics.
Probably put me in a comatose state while someone else did stuff in my name.
It's not like I wouldn't have done the same.
But the person...the imposter did it anyway.
Someone did a flex on me.
One name rings loudly.
"Danzo .....", I thought out loud.
"Whoes that?", Naruto asks.
I put my clothes back on.
"No one, it's a thing I say when I buck naked check my body in the mirror", I answered.
"It was that snotty counsel member that saved my ass", Jabuja states.
"I thought I was the one who did?", I snorted as my brows shot over my head.
"He is the one who suggested the council to even consider you stupid ass meddling in village politics", Jabuja says.
I wanna cry. I never wanted to do anything with anything. Let alone butting heads with the council.
Maybe the imposter did the right thing. I would've backed out. But I didn't cry, nowadays, I
am at least good at controlling my expression.
So.....yeah....things have taken an unprecedented degree of turn.
I have no idea, whatsoever of what is going on.
But I know one thing.
I ain't crossing that geezer's path again until I have some kind of actual political backing and power.
Some of his caliber with brain and browns, it's a wonder that he left me alive after what I did yesterday.
Political backing.....I rub my chin.
I am pretty sure tagging along with Naruto on a few ....ehm....selected missions will do just fine.
What I need is power.
Mangekyo Sharingan? Will my sister give them to me if I ask nicely?
I look at Jabuja and Haku. I guess Naruto is doing a good job of calming down Haku.
Jabuja is just eyeing me. But, has his mouth shut tight.
I guess he knew? He has dealings with Danzo.
Maybe he planned this.
The room spiked into bloodlust momentarily.
His Kabukiribucho magically appeared in his hands.
My axes are in mine.
"Wow wow wow !!!!, what the hell?!", Naruto standing between us.
Haku is confused, but he is clearly on his master's side. His posture says it all.
Naruto promptly understands it. But he can't decide which side to take.
"You wanna go at me? Kid?", Jabuja taunts.
"For the 3rd time!! It's MY house! You think you will get out of here alive, think again!", I Snap a finger.
A speedy metal wire net is shot from the side.
Gonna put down Haku first.
But the target was off.
It hit Naruto instead of Haku.
A dart is shot from one of the holes in the walls.
It hit the syrup bottle and sprayed all over me.
Naruto wiggles inside screaming, while I am drenched in syrup.
Jabuja just stands there trying to hold a laugh.
Haku after a second, decides to abandon his post beside Jabuja and gets down to help Naruto.
Who am I kidding?
Jabuja could've sliced my head off the moment I spiked my bloodlust.
Jabuja and Danzo played me like a puppet.
I sigh.
Pathetic.
I drop the axe.
"I am .....glad you guys are okay", I state and make my way slowly to the door.
I need some fresh air.
What a depressing way to start a day.
#######
On the training ground.
I take in fresh air.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Breathe in, breathe out.
That tree looks like a face.....
"Looking at me funny ey?", something snapped.
I unseal my axe.
No chakra, no enhancement.
Just with raw power.
The axe head hits the bark.
My bones rattle My eyes and head shake violently.
The axe gets stuck.
I pull it out and strike again.
Again and again and again and again.
Until the tree exploded into bits.
I huff as I sit down.
Then lie down.
"The fire of youth burns hot in you!", I see the busiest brows I ever seen.
But it ain't Gai sensei.
It's Rock Lee.
I get up as the spandex karate kid crouches down beside me.
"Senpie! How is your day?", I ask with a smile.
"As youthful as ever! But I see my kouhai having a bad day. What is wrong?", he asks.
I open my mouth. I wish I could just dump it all on someone.
But ...that .....is not possible.
I get up.
"Senpie! ....fight me !", I say.
"Eeehhh! Are you sure? I don't see your orange buddy with you, you wanna go solo on me?", he asks.
"I see Senpei has learned to be overconfident! Gai sensei would be pleased to know!", I tount.
"I assure you, overconfidence is not in my dictionary. What I have here is pure.....".
"Hard work!", I finish the line.
"Even with your sharingan, you will never beat me!", Rock senpai goes into stance.
I touch my eyelid.
"You know what Senpai? I have been through some shit the past few days. The sharingan...has been useless if nothing less. These eyes....are useless. If I am not strong", I open them.
Sharingan swirling violently.
With red eyes that are stronger than before.
2 tomoe.
The power that came at the cost of Sakura .....lieng lifeless in front of me.
I covet it. I hate it.
But I will be damned if I don't get stronger after this.
Rock Lee notices my eyes and the change in my aura. Switches to a more defensive posture.
His hand and my feet blurred into motion.
To his surprise, I blocked his knuckle with my feet.
Using as spring to jump backward, I execute a combo of kicks, which he parried effortlessly.
Following up with a kick of his own.
There is no way I can block his kick. On my best days, they either knock me out or send me Flying.
But not today. I won't dodge today.
I hit my forehead hard on his tibia.
The muscles on my neck and abdomen tanked the blow.
Rock Lee jumps backward and stands on one leg.
Takes a second to put both feet on the ground.
He felt it.
"Hah! Got you now senpai! I won't be knocked out by that same kick over and over", I scream while pointing at him.
"As happy as I am at your progression, you are bleeding Sasuke kun", Senpai breaks his stance.
Yeah.... I'm bleeding from the head. The fight comes to an end when one of us bleeds.
I promptly used mystical healing jutsu to patch it up. NOT TODAY.
Today we will fight until one of us drops.
And go into a fighting stance again.
"Won't start with a trick?", Senpai asks.
"Tricks are my very being!", I say with a grin.
I kick the ground, throwing a splash of dirt at him.
He just stepped through it. That's one way to avoid it getting in the eye.
But I kinda knew he would do it, so I was ready with a punch.
I feel a significant increase in strength since the last time fought with him. He hits harder and faster.
But I can too.
I did that widow's cheeks move so many times that I can now even draw chakra from my abdomen while punching.
A complete blur of kicks and punches.
The grazes left me scarred while the blocks left me bruised. But my punches are hitting as well.
My eyes can at last track his movements.
But I have to dump more chakra in them to do so.
I guess, 2nd tomoe increases the threshold.
After doing a backhand punch he switched to a spin kick.
I dodged downward, grasping the ground with chakra I turned and did a high kick with both legs.
I was sure of it hitting it. It was like 30 degrees from the ground.
He also dodged it downwards, bending on his Achilles tendon, like Michel Jackson.....but backward.
He is close to the ground.
I jump up with a dropkick.
But he bent his back to the right so hard that made him look like a cartoon character.
That is some next-level flexibility.
I hit the ground hard.
And he grabbed my neck.
Yeah, that's game.
He spun around my waist like a snake and locked me in.
As my jagular is pressed hard and on the verge of losing consciousness he brings his mouth close to my ear.
"Don't give up, kohai. Fight ....ignite your youth!"
"Igniiiiiiitttteee!", I scream.
I grab his one hand with both my hands.
Pump my palms with chakra. Twist them tightly along his skin.
"Eerrrrmmmmm!!!!", Rock Lee writes in pain
"Se....pie...I will tear your muscles apart", I gasp.
"I won't.....give up. Even if I'm crippled, my youth won't be beat", Rock Lee gasps.
"So a tie then?", I ask somehow
He nods and lets me go.
I fall coughing on the ground.
I guess it helped calm down...whatever I was having? Depression?
Senpai also huffs while rubbing his forearm.
"You had quite the grip there!", Says Lee senpai.
"No...no....I just used chakra", I say while waving my hands. Then I demonstrate an explosive tag, sticking it on my palm lightly. It takes a thin layer of chakra to execute. If I slip up the tag will explode.
He nods while rubbing his chin.
"Oh! That would explain it. I have a hard time putting chakra on my feet to climb. So, such tactics are beyond me. But I sure can whip out an alternative way to execute", he says with a shrug.
"Be sure to tell me!", I say.
Senpai wipes the blood off of one of the bruises on his cheek.
"I may not have Jutsu by my side, but taijutsu has brought me all this way. You, my kohai have improved a lot since the last time we met. Not to mention your focus on the said topic", Lee senpai says.
"What can I say, I have the best senpai !", I butter him up. He just smiles with a v sign.
Buttering doesn't work on Senpai, I know.
"You know senpai, our clan has been proficient with jutsu since long before the 1st war", I mention.
"It ...was?", Lee senpai asks.
"Ha ha....of what's left of it. But let me give you a piece of information. The sage of six paths, our direct ancestor, could summon a meteor out of the sky!", I say with a finger to the sky.
"Hmph! Your youthful jests don't scare me to the slightest ", Senpai says.
"Ha ha! Not here to scare you senpai", I clear up as I get back on my feet.
"I'm saying it because when I can summon meteors out of the sky, I want you to be ready to fight me with even stronger taijutsu!", I say with a smile.
He gapped at my words for a second. But my outstretched hand brought him back to reality.
"I promise!", he says as he gets back on his feet with my help.
"I wonder if Sensei could do that?", Rock Lee wonders.
"You mean Gai sensei?", I ask.
He nods.
"Of course he can!", I say with a shrug.
"Wha.....sensei can fight a meteor!?".
"If there is one coming down on Konoha, do you think he will just sit around?", I ask.
"..... ..... no....but what kind of techniques would be required.....".
"You know....senpai. It may not feel like it, but Might Gai is a ninja. I'm sure he has something up his sleeve", I say with a shrug.
"That.....would be some kind of forbidden technique ", senpai rubs his chin.
"He was in 2 goddamn wars, he has seen some weird shit. So "preparations" are a thing among our senseis. We should do the same", I say.
Senpai nods.
"Preparation. Being ready for anything. I think I get it. I learned something today. Thank you Sasuke kun!", he says.
"Don't mention it. In return, why don't you treat me to a ramen", I say with a grine.
"Did I mention your sweat smells like soy sauce? My dear Kohai, what supplements are you taking?", he asks.
########
I didn't get back home.
Just ran around town, doing odd jobs.
I hope Haku fed my chickens.
What? The Uchiha heir doing odd jobs doesn't sound right.
I've been doing this since... forever.
I even have a cotton candy cart.
Which I'm fairing right now. Selling cotton candy in the infamous Konoha has been on my to-do list since I was born.
Not to mention, to kids who have an active high-ranking Anbu on his ass.
Konohamru.
Well, he isn't buying anything, except hiding in a box right behind me.
I make a cotton candy and put it on the stand.
The box slides in closer.
Attempting to steal a candy? That's.... unnecessary. He is the honorable grandson. If he wants one I will give it to him for free.
Ooooooo.....I see what it is. He would rather steal than sell his grandpa's name.
He still didn't have that thing with Naruto!
That boy is slacking off hard these days.
It is 1300 at noon. Getting hungry. Let's just close up shop.
I turn the shop down and start pushing it away.
I see a grumpy Konohamaru just walking away with his box.
"Hei kid!", I call out.
He looks at me. Eyes as a sharp knife. Ready to hit the road at a moment's notice. How the fuck did Naruto tame a cat like that.
I wave a candy at his way.
Kids ...they love these things. But not this one.
The cat just becomes more suspicious instead.
He points at me.
"You are not a real candyman. I never saw you in these parts before", he screams.
"Oh really?", I raise an eyebrow.
He takes out a kunai.....wooden one at that and points at me.
"Who are you really and don't even think about lying!", he threatens.
Sighing I put the candy in my mouth. No point in using treats. I know just the thing to impress this one.
Oh....looks like movements already put him on high alert.
I raise my hands in surrender, signifying that I am unarmed.
He breathes just a bit.
I Snape my fingers and a smoke bomb pops. I jump up to the tree branch on top.
Instead of running away, Konohamaru attacks my previous position which is now just a cloud of smoke.
I click my tongue. Not looking good for the grandson of the god of Shinobi.
He looks around frantically.
I quickly change my getup and put up a mask.
And change my voice. To that of Madara. They liked the pressure it puts on people.
"Kid", I call.
The heavy voice kicks in. The kid is visibly startled.
"Who are you !", he asks. At this point, he is just frozen.
Still not running away. It's not like he isn't scared, he just isn't running away. Pride?
It sucks being the grandkid of Hokage, huh.
Oh...I have to answer his question.
"I am the Legendary ninja Hatori! Here to see what is the state of a young ninja in this village", I say.
Kinda cringy.
For some reason, his eyes light up like an 80-watt bulb.
"Oh...Hatori sama....no...what the hell do ya want . I am ....", he struggles to give a identity.
Well...I will spare him the struggle.
"I am also here on a village inspection. For that I need a ninja for this village!", I command.
I get down. The high heels of my disguise increased my height quite a bit. So, the kid has to look.
"I am going to field promote you to rank of genin for the next 3 hours. Here, have this!", I give him a bandana with the Konoha symbol on it.
The dam broke at last and Konohamaru accepted the bandana. The missing teeth show up.
Kids are cute for sure. I am also a kid but the way.
"All right, boss! What ya wanna do!", he pumps his fist.
Okay... I'm being called boss. A slight blush emerged through the mask. But I bring it down a notch with a cough.
"Ahm... okay...for starters, I have already stated my purpose. As a ninja you must remember your mission objectives carefully", I say with a finger.
Konohamru straightens his back.
"Yes. Village inspection", he states.
"Alright. Why don't you suggest where we should go first?", I say.
Konohamaru ponders for a bit and says," This is the financial district. If ya wanna look around the shops I can show you ", he says.
"O? Is that so? What is there you can show me?", I ask.
"There is a lot to see ", he shrugs.
I laugh...
Kids.
"What's so funny!", he asks.
"Fledgling! You have so much to learn. Just because you see it .... doesn't mean you saw it", I say.
Konohamaru tilts his head.
"What is your name?", I ask.
"Benumaru", he says without batting an eye.
"Alrighty Benu chan. What are we!", I ask.
"Ninjas", he answered.
"Being a ninja is no joke. When you see something . You have to see in the eye of a ninja".
"Eye.....of ninja?"
"Yes. This is Konoha. The strongest ninja village in the world ", I point at the market.
"The whole loud and bustling market that you see nothing but a disguise. The whole thing is a mirage made by ourselves and the Hokage. Nobody....let me repeat ...nobody in this village is a civilian" " Konohamaru becomes more confused.
I shrug, "Yes, you can say that one needs training or some flashy jutsu to be called a ninja. In that sense, yes. They are as civilian as they come. But let me show you something", I walk past him. Get behind the large tree. As soon as I left his line of sight, I silently entered the room.
Get out when Konohamaru calls my name all confused.
He sees me coming out.
"Wha...where did that door come from", he asks.
"This particular tree is an evacuation tunnel entrance", I say.
"You don't need any chakra or training to be lost in the shadows. You see, Benumaru. Konoha has been subjected to numerous threats, foreign and domestic multiple times. So contingency plans were made. Every shop owner in this area has or knows of an entrance such as this. If someone were to suddenly just attack our village, it will be a matter of minutes, before the whole area becomes a ghost town", I say.
"It's like.....".
"Ninjas", I finish his line.
"That is..... so cool!", he screams.
"It is", I admit.
"So....Benu chan. Why don't we go on a grand tour of the secrets that the village has to offer? The great village that even turns a civilian into a ninja", I say.
Benumaru halts for a moment.
"Hatori sama", he stops me.
"What?"
"You see .....I lied a little when I said my name", he says.
"Well, we are ninjas. We lie. But still, I would like to know your real name. Although don't expect me to do the same", I said.
"My real name is Konohamaru ", he says.
"Oh, so a name after the village", I say.
"Aha".
"Are you proud of it?"
....
"I.....don't know. It seems cool and all", he shrugs.
What the heck? An 8-year-old having some kind of identity crisis?
Is he.....orphaned?
Oh...we only ever see his uncle Asuma and granddad Sarutobi.
Well....that would make sense.
I crouch down.
Ruffle his hair.
"Someone's name isn't cool, cause it's named after a cool thing. It's because the person is cool", I say.
"You think I'm cool?", he asks.
I get up.
"Welp...! We will have to see about that won't we?"
Then I set for the market.
Going through the narrowest of roads, darkest of allies, most smelly canals to the tallest towers.
From there we ended up in the Hokage monument.
Incidentally, we peeked through the eye of the Tobirama.
It's afternoon, the sun takes its leave for the day while donning a cute red blush spreading along the horizon.
Just another day went by.
Konohamaru fell asleep.
An Anbu guy popped right in front of me and carried him away like a Sack of potatoes.
Maybe it's my imagination, but the anbu nodded at me before leaving.
I plop down on top of Tobirama senzu's head.
Incidentally, his forehead was quite large, like a caveman. So, his headgear almost morphed into a roof.
Hahaha!...to think there is a village invasion on the way, Orochimaru on my ass, and here I am, wasting my time like some school kid.
"That's your job!", said a voice.
I Snape up, on my feet with kunai out.
"Who was that?", I wondered. In terror.
I even felt that Anbu popped in from a mile away.
Who the heck is posh enough to stock me?
#####
I went back to the compound.
I see Haku meditating by the small pond we have in the backyard. Jabuja chilling at the sliding door.
They are planted in here, huh?
What has the world come to?
I pass by Jabuja.
"Yo", I greet.
Jabuja scoffs.
"Fancy a tea?", I ask.
He scoffs again.
I get myself some black tea while I get him some booze.
He takes a sip, I take a sip.
"I didn't know if that Danzo guy did to ya'?", Jabuja admits.
I don't respond.
"If you want me to leave, I will leave", he says.
Never took Jabuja to be the talkative type. I guess Sakura's talk no jutsu that day did wonders.
"It wasn't Danzo", I say.
Now Jabuja is stunned.
"I don't know ", I answer before he can respond.
Jabuja chugs another peg.
"Say.....you worked with Shishui?", I ask a bombshell of a question to drop the topic. This shit is mine and mine alone to bury.
Jabuja visibly twitches at the question.
"Shisui....that ki....ninja was something else entirely. You guys think Your brother was the genius then think again", he blurts out nonetheless.
"You mean my sister?", I corrected.
Jabuja looks at me and then at the booze.
He puts down the bottle.
"I ....was in the fucking Akatsuki with him. I babysit him for 3 years.....".
"It's "her" by the way".
"Yeah....I heard you the first time. I saw him naked . We have been to the land of hot springs to kill some goddamn landlord!".
"He probably put a genjutsu on ya", I say with a shrug.
Jabuja scratches his head with visible confusion.
"She IS the genius for a reason", I say.
"Heh! You sure sound proud", he says with dead fish eyes.
I have no answer to that. I look at Haku.
"I don't know man.....I don't know....".
Let's just drop the topic I guess?
"Oh yeah...Shisui. I helped him get in", Jabuja admits.
"And?", I urge since he is still willing to talk.
"Nothing more. Kid you don't wanna know", he says.
There are ears in the walls.
I bring out a 10 ryo coin out of my pocket.
Show it to him.
"Shisui san gave me a chocolate or whatever possible from his missions. Usually did it to get on Onee san's good side. But last time, he just gave me money to buy something...".
Jabuja takes it in his hand.
He looks at the coin. He does some weird hand gestures in the coin. A few bursts of chakra.
Then he gives me back. He points to my ear.
I.....he is telling me to put it in my ear.
"Shisui uchiha and Itachi Uchiha . Despite being Konoha Shinobi.....they.....thought of the Mist. They.....helped a part of the Yuki clan to escape "
Wo.....wow.... it.....sound coming out of a coin?
What is this? Jutsu?
Wtf.
You...can fucking leave massages with it. Make a large noise if possible....put enough chakra, and turn it into a sound bomb.
Okay....let's not get off-topic.
I guess Shisui is part of the reason Jabuja is hogging around Haku.
"There is more on the other side", he says.
You can fucking put....2 massages in this shit. It's awesome.
"How....how do I unlock it?", I ask.
"I don't know. Figure it out?", Jabuja shrugs.
It's a coin that Shisui left. He left a message in it.
Oh my god.
Forget about forbidden jutsus. If there are shits like this I can totally agree with Orochimaru's views.
All right.....deep breath. It's a world where Itachi is a bitch, Sakura is badass, someone out there has guns and I despite being the Sasuke Uchiha, don't have any fangirls.
So, out-of-norm things will appear.
What's normal in this world anyway?
"I guess we even in terms of eye-popping topics?"
"Yeah....", Jabuja is now drunk.
I jumped over the fence before Haku finished meditation.
Let's just say...I don't want to see him apologizing for anything.
Why do I think he will want to apologize? I don't know. I just know.
I ended up at Naruto's dump.
The guy taking an afternoon nap that extended tonight.
It's 1900 in the clock.
I sigh.
I get in and grab an apron.
Throw a few ninja wires and get the knife and a few spices.
Tangle Naruto like a puppet, make him grabe an onion.
By then he is half awake and slicing that onion in half asleep.
"We are having pizza today!", I declare.
"Yeah ....whatever...", Naruto yawns.
"Say....what kind shit did Jabuja pull?", Suddenly Naruto asks a very out-of-character question.
I sigh as I turn on the oven.
"I don't know. Maybe he has some dirt on someone?", I guess.
"Like the movies where the villainess finds dirty pictures of the male lead having an affair?", he asks.
I ponder for a bit.
" Yeah....kind of like that", I have to unfortunately have to agree to that analogy.
"Wow....I wonder who that person might be?".
"Yeah....he had better have an affair with the shogun's wife or something to stick around", I laugh.
After putting all the things In the oven I sit on the Tatami.
Naruto then asks...." What's the point then?"
"Point of what?"
"Point of all these. All this training, sweat, tears, blood. If all you have to do is to find some shit about someone and you are all set?", Naruto asks.
I take out a picture.
He looks at it.
"It's the hokage.....", he says.
Looks at it again and laughs his ass off.
"Yeah....remember how you attacked Sarutobi Sama with that jutsu of yours?", I ask.
"Yeah?", he admits.
"He lost so much blood that he needed a bag of it!", I inform.
"No way...I beat the old man?", naruto has a dumb look on his face.
"Not only that....see that look on his face? He enjoyed it. Think about it ....if this picture got out...I wonder how long will his chair last", I say as I put the picture away.
"To put him out of this village, you don't need to beat anyone. No need to kill anyone", I add.
"Hei....we don't have any beef with the old man", Naruto gets serious.
"What? I thought you wanted to be the Hokage?"
"Yeah....but not like this", he says.
There is a silence in the room.
"That's the thing Naruto. You think you are taking the hard way. The way I'm showing you ....is not easy either. Don't disrespect politics!", I demanded.
The pizza is done.
I take it out and cut it in half.
"There is no shortcut to anything in life", Naruto says. Still serious.
I chuckle a bit while taking a bite.
Naruto is still eyeballing me.
With a sigh, I burn the picture with a single sign Katon.
"Happy?".
Naruto takes a bite.
"But let me tell ya one thing, Naruto Uzumaki. When you become Hokage....you will come crawling back to this shortcut", I say.
Naruto should have a flashy response like adding something along the lines of "believe it ".....
Maybe he is still sleepy or angry?
The guy is still silent.
"The Oldman not telling me my parents names....is that politics too?", Naruto asks.
Wow....where did that come from?
We are having some serious butterfly effects here.
"No", is all I can say. I can think of 100 reasons for that....but none of them will stick. Not until it truly matters.
"What do you mean no?", Naruto asks.
"Figure it out. I'm not your dad!", I say with a shrug.
"Besides ....it doesn't matter now, does it?", I ask.
Naruto at last....gets back to his old self and wolfs down the pizza.
"Yeah....it doesn't matter...ttebayo", he says.