Translation by VKD_007
"Boss! I have something to say about the contract."
"I'm busy. Discuss the contract with the operations team."
Without slowing down, the boss continued walking briskly, ignoring Kim Sojeon's concerns about the contract.
Well, why would the boss care about a player like me? Oh well...
"Team manager, I have something to say about FA."
"What? FA? Are you crazy, Kim Sojeon? What FA are you talking about? Have you fulfilled the registration requirements?"
"As my years of service have accumulated... hehe."
Twisting the paper cup he was holding, the operations manager replied dismissively.
"Everyone's becoming a free agent these days. Go ask Manager Kim over there. See if they'll even need you next year."
Everyone's becoming a free agent. Even though I've played for so long, to be treated like everyone else...
Hold it in. I have to endure this. I have to endure being unable to even play baseball.
"Manager Jung, can I talk to you about FA?"
Manager Jung, who had his head buried in paperwork, lifted his head slightly.
"Oh, really. Can't you see I'm busy? You're last in line, so go ahead. It's not your turn yet."
Ignoring everything else, Manager Jung buried his head in his work again.
"No, that's not it. I just wanted to ask if I could apply for FA..."
Without even lifting his head, he interrupted.
"You'll get a 100 million won salary next year. Apply for FA, and you'll get a signing bonus of 2,000 and an 8,000 salary. A one-year contract."
Nothing else mattered. If I apply for FA... if I apply for FA...
"Thank you."
At the end of the season, the list of FA candidates was announced.
A FA player no one cared about, but still, a chance I had persevered for, relentlessly.
While others received 10 billion won contracts, mine was only worth 100 million won, but I still wanted it.
Applying for FA faster than anyone else, I even did interviews with small internet newspapers.
"Kim Sojeon, you've applied for FA this time. Please share your thoughts."
"I've played for 14 years, moving from team to team. I'm grateful for this opportunity. Thank you to the fans who have supported me."
As I thanked the fans, the reporter chuckled.
I know. I don't have any fans. I know, but I have to pretend and smile in front of people, right?
Despite the anger boiling inside, I smiled and continued the interview.
"This season, my salary was 1.2 billion won. Although I'm still considered competitive as a backup, it's difficult to receive a large amount. What will Kim Sojeon's FA be like?"
The reporter's question brought back memories like a speeding bullet.
Winning a tournament with a complete game in my second year of high school. MVP of the tournament as a sophomore. Shoulder injury and surgery right after the tournament.
Leading in hits as a left fielder in my third year. Tournament champion.
Entering the pros in the second round.
Traded in my first year before I could even get my uniform inked.
Surviving without learning what rookies should learn, just enduring whatever came my way.
Playing every position, tirelessly supporting the team, moving between 5 out of 10 teams over 14 years.
Filling in for regulation at-bats, never hitting .300, but playing harder than anyone else for the team's victories.
That's how I earned the qualification for FA, which only those who persevere like weeds can obtain.
"100 billion. Whatever others may think, whatever the team offers, I am a player worth 100 billion."
The relaxed atmosphere of the interview suddenly froze in an instant.
The reporter, at a loss for words, stuttered and couldn't ask the next question.
"Haha. That's my own valuation. Negotiations need to happen. I might even offer a discount for a bargain sale."
Yes. I might even subtract 1 billion.
FA negotiation day.
It's said that when successful players hit noon, their phones start ringing off the hook.
Of course, for players like me, who are insignificant, there are rumors that even after negotiating from S-grade to C-grade, there's still no call after negotiating the salaries of S-grade, A-grade, B-grade, and C-grade players.
Still, being human, I kept staring at the phone hopelessly.
11:50. 11:55. 11:59. 11:59:30...
My heart was pounding.
They still need me for our team's lineup. Even if they call at 98 billion after slashing 2 billion from last year's salary, I'll accept it immediately.
Just call to make me feel good. I'll accept it right away.
12:00...
Silence.
12:01. 12:02. 12:03.
The whole apartment is silent. The noisy kids from upstairs and the bickering newlyweds from next door are silent.
Yeah. They have to take care of the S-grades first. Yeah... I understand. It's business... I understand.
1:00. 2:00. 3:00...
Yeah. They probably won't call at such a late hour. I'm not even an S-grade. Yeah, I understand.
They're considerate. I understand.
They'll probably call in the morning.
4:00. 5:00...
Even lying in bed with my eyes closed, I'm fully awake. Even after staring at my phone for a long time, not even 5 minutes have passed.
Damn them. They said they'd cut my salary, but they won't even call...
Please... please call at 9:00 in the morning...
9:00. The phone is still silent.
10:00. I plug in the charger in case the phone dies.
12:00. 1:00. 2:00...
Even if it's not a mega contract... Yeah, if it's an S-grade contract, it's inevitable. I'm not a hitter who hits 40 home runs. I understand.
One day, two days, three days...
The dark circles under my eyes are almost reaching my shoulders.
It feels like my hair is falling out in circular bald patches at the back of my head.
Four days... five days... six days...
If I keep this up, I'll dry up and die first. Just ask already.
After staying up all night with bloodshot eyes, I finally went to the team office after a week.
As I opened the door and walked in, as always, there wasn't a single person interested in me.
Damn... worthless bastards...
"Mr. Kim, looks like you're busy. Can you at least offer a cup of coffee to a FA player who came by?"
Trying to find Kim, who at least listens, I went to drop a hint.
"Ugh... Don't talk to me, go find our team manager. I don't have the authority."
This jerk. Someone's here, but he won't even look at me and just brushes me off.
But I'm the one who feels regretful. Oh well, what can I do.
Regretful people have to dig their own wells...
I stood before the operations manager, who was dozing off with his back turned in his chair.
"Manager, I'm Kim Sojeon. I'm here to discuss a re-contract."
The operations manager, who was nodding off, wipes his drool and turns to me sharply.
"Ugh, who is this? You're not a 100 billion won player. What's going on? We can't afford you, yet you've come all the way here, huh. Hehehe."
What, what's with this reaction?
"Manager, what do you mean? I heard I'd get 1 billion next year. A signing bonus of 2,000 and a salary of 8,000, a one-year contract. If you give me the contract, I'll sign it right away."
The operations manager, who had just woken up, adjusts his posture and shows a sharp look.
"Kim Sojeon, as far as your skills go, you're still a player we should keep. You're good enough as a utility player and a role model for the kids..."
What? Why is he saying that? Something's off with his words.
"But let me tell you. Do you know why we have a baseball team?"
The manager starts to breathe heavily, and his voice begins to rise.
"The club is for promoting the group! That's right, for promoting the group! But what's this? 100 billion? A player who might hit 50 hits in a year, not even hitting home runs? Do you know what kind of rumors are spreading about us on the internet? Do you know what our chairman is hearing right now? Dongba hyung! Stupid neighborhood hyung! If it were you, would you want to spend 200 billion, 300 billion a year just because of this nonsense!"
Shouting, the manager's eyes are now red, making a grating noise in my ears.
"The group's financial performance is in shambles, and instead of dismantling the baseball team, they're telling us to do so! And yet, what? 100 billion? A backup washout player for 100 billion in an FA contract? Running a club like a fool! How are we going to handle this!"
That person... he's serious.
Our chairman was dragged into the group, do you know what he's hearing! Because there's extra money lying around, are we going to run the operation like that, saying we'll cut support funds! You know? Because of you, the total salary of other players has been reduced! What are we going to do! What are we going to do! And yet, what? FA? Are you kidding me? Are you trying to make fun of me? Get 100 billion or whatever from another team and go there."
I couldn't say a word in response.
100 billion...
I didn't even say I would accept 100 billion, I just evaluated myself as a player worth 100 billion...
What's so wrong with that...
I drank and drove, I gambled. I was just expressing my self-esteem, but does that mean I have to become trash, lowering the salaries of other players?
As I leave the office and head to the locker room, tears drip from my eyes.
It's unfair. Just unfair.
Tears that didn't flow when I won in high school, when I had shoulder surgery, or when I was traded two or three times, now flow.
It's unjust. Just plain unjust.
If only I could receive 100 billion or even be defrauded, I would at least have something, but being unable to do anything and just receiving insults makes it even more unfair.
Sitting in the empty locker room, I bow my head and don't know how long I've been there. When I feel like the tears might stop, lifting my head only brings more tears.
Without lifting my head, I wipe my tears and tidy up the locker.
First hit, first home run, walk-off hit, 20 stolen bases...
Starting with my own hidden milestones that I secretly kept in the corner, I pack them tightly into my bag.
While others may have several trophies... for me, this is everything...
I pack my glove for infield, outfield, first base, along with my spikes, bat, and uniform.
As I pack my belongings and reminisce over 14 years of memories, night falls without me realizing.
Carrying the big bag in both hands, it feels unusually colder today.
I load my belongings into my ten-year-old sedan.
Taking out my belongings from the locker and putting them in the car is not something I haven't done before, but today feels different, it feels final.
My body feels drained, and I don't even have the energy to start the car.
I lie down for a moment, just a moment, and close my eyes.