She grimaced. Thinking a long time before she said her next words. "Chika… What are you so afraid of?"
I froze, staring at her. It was as if time had stopped, She was so tall that looking at her like that made me feel like a child again. "Y-you already know that, remember?"
"That was two whole years ago. Refresh my memory."
'Are you really gonna make me say it out loud?' I pulled my feet up to the edge of my chair. "I'm afraid of dying alone. I doubt even you would notice much if I was gone. Although I guess you wouldn't be able to bail on work as much with the excuse of having an injured friend…"
"Chika…" She mumbled my name, but she didn't deny it. I didn't understand her, that much was true, but there were a few things I managed to piece together. I didn't know for sure of course, but I thought that the reason she acted the way she did was because she was afraid of what would happen if I died. It walked hand in hand with my fear. The fear of losing someone, against the fear of not having anyone that would feel loss. Oil and water.
I rested my chin on my knees thinking. 'That… That wasn't the answer I gave two years ago...' I suddenly realized that even though the pannick I had felt back then returned, the reason was different.
Originally she was the one who helped me get over my anxiety, but the reason I was so anxious was because I was afraid of letting people down. I was terrified of the other adventurers, even more so than the monsters. It was back when I was still searching for parties to join.
I dreaded the looks I might get if I ever failed or only partially completed a quest. That's what I used to be afraid of. That was when I was at my lowest, no one would let me into a party, and those who did let me in treated me like a pack animal…
I looked down at my bowl "Thanks for the meal… But I'm not really that hungry anymore…"
I saw the sunlight glint off of her eyes as a thin layer of water formed around them. "Well, at any rate, you have money from that job right?"
"3 small silvers." I grinned, pulling it out. Even I was surprised at how quickly my mood changed from something so simple.
"Let's go shopping then." She said, slowly standing up. "Meet me in the square at noon."
'Shopping… But…' "Hey wait." By the time my words came out, she was already out the door and walking down the street, sticking her tongue out at me from the other side of the window.
"And you better not be late!" She shouted.
She left so quickly that it almost felt like she was still there, or like she never was.
'What do I want so bad that makes this all worth it…' I let out a deep sigh as I reminded myself. I want to get strong and become rich. I want to buy a nice house, one that will last for generations. Even if I do look the way that I do… Having a couple of kids wouldn't be bad. I always thought that even if I couldn't find a man I could adopt a couple of orphans or something… I want to be strong enough to save the people I care about, and rich enough to buy my friends a drink when they make it home safe…'
At that moment I remembered my mom telling me a legend about one of Rothet's founders. Most of it was a blur, but the whole thing was just a folk tale about the first Mythril coin ever minted. Supposedly every Mythril coin was enchanted by an archwizard to basically give infinite luck. 'One mithril coin…' Regardless of the legend, it was the most valuable coin in the whole world, much less the nation of Rothet. 1 coin was worth 1,000,000,000 talons… 10 digits to perfectly round out the currency system that consisted of 10 coins, each one 10x the value of the last.
I tightened my hand into a fist and saw the muscles in my arm tighten. 'That's what I want. I want a Mythril coin.' my fingers slowly relaxed. 'Tomorrow I'll buy a new shirt, get my armor repaired… Wait no, I'll buy new armor, better armor. That's the only thing I need. I don't need to go shopping, I need Lola to help me get promoted.'
…
In no time the next day came around, and we met up at the square, both of us arriving well before the meeting time. "Hey," I called out with a wave.
She looked up and smiled politely. "Do I know you?"
"I can't blame you I guess, most people think I'm a dude when I'm wearing my armor. So I guess even just taking off my helmet makes quite the difference."
One sentence from me and she was already rolling her eyes. "That's because you talk like a guy."
"Yeah… Well… You talk like a girl."
"I am a girl…"
I let out a soft growl, already starting to get annoyed. "Let's just get this over with, I don't want to waste a whole day just shopping. I still want to practice some of my throws. My aim was off while I was hunting those wargs."
Her face twisted a bit. "Y-you are a girl right?"
"Not… Funny…"
She giggled like a little kid as she leaned forward, looking down at me while we walked, clearly enjoying herself. "I think we'll get some coffee first, on me. You ready?"
The prospect of her buying me something admittedly made her suddenly a lot less annoying, but it didn't make me want to tease her back any less. "Your ears are showing," I growled back, noticing just how red they were at the tips. 'She must be really happy… But why?'
She suddenly turned red and started adjusting her hair. "Don't stare at them!" She shouted, cupping her hands over them for a minute in embarrassment. "I was in such a rush I totally forgot to cover them…" She mumbled.
'Elves are so weird. I really don't get the ear thing. Although I guess if I was an elf I probably would.
We walked into the coffee shop she wanted to take me to. "Oba's" was its name. It was pretty popular. Of course, the only thing I ever actually drank from there was black coffee, cheap and strong. It tasted fine and worked well so I couldn't complain.