It had been seven hours since she returned to her room. She knew it because she had picked up the sand watch from the other room this time.
Her eyes were on the watch but her mind started to wander. Philip was here and he wanted papers. If she did not bring them, he would harm her family.
But if she brought them, she would be helping a traitor. If Len came to know he would burn her alive and her family will be included too.
More than that, that bastard would live happily. Her eyes narrowed at that. She had to find a way to save her family first. But she could not do it while being locked in this room.
One night alone with him. If the servants and knights thought they were doing the deed, they would not follow them. She stood up at once and went to her dressing room.
She had not bought a single dress recently. Philip has told her that she didn't need one since she never went out.
But a new tag was not necessary, as long as it was an attractive one. Her favorite color is black. She took out a black dress she has brought for mourning purposes when Philip's father had died.
The only person who stood for her sometimes. Her hands reached for the dress and she caressed it.
"I hope you cross the darkness to see light again, my daughter. Look for the darkness all the time." were the last words of the old man. His son had sneered when he had spoken to her, not him.
One more reason for Philip's hatred. But she had walked past the time to care. The dress fell loose on her shoulders.
She did not realize she had lost weight again. Her face looked so pale in the mirror. Only ghosts can fall in love with that face.
But her eyes burnt with determination, she sat on the vanity table and picked up the little amount of makeup she owns. She colored her lips bright red and used some color for her cheeks too. She kept doing it until she felt she looked better.
Then she knocked at the door. Knocking was easier but getting a reply was not. She waited for a minute, then two. She was sure there was a knight kept to guard her door. Len would never trust her enough to leave her unattended but a small part in her crazy heart felt that he cared for her. The presence of the knight had made sure that Polly did not cross her line.
But where was that girl? She had thought Polly would follow her to know the details.
She knocked on the door again and again until she finally heard footsteps.
"My lady," a man laced in brocade and silk wearing a white wig looking at her with a malicious smile. "Do you need anything?" she could translate his words into, "stop making a scene here or you will regret it."
"I have not eaten anything. I was awake all night so I am feeling hungry now.'' It was way past the time of breakfast but she did not feel hungry at all because she had been starving for days before being served a stale and hard bread and then the procedure continued.
But it looked like a reasonable excuse in his eyes. For a noble woman had never tasted hunger.
"I will arrange your breakfast at once. Please remember that we are short of staff so I can not promise anything fancy." he whispered in a courtly manner and bowed his head but she stopped him. For a moment, it felt like she was the guest here. But she pushed that thought aside. She was not so lucky, not yet. But she would change her luck this time.
"Wait! I am not going to have my breakfast here. I will have it with lord Gravestone." Finally, the man stopped. His face looked cold but she kept her regard.
"I am the hostess of the manor. Of course it is my duty." she tried to hold her calm, "more than that, i have enraged the lord last night due to my absence, i want to apologize to him in person." the man must have noticed her face and her clothes. She had cut a small part of the skirt to make it look more sensuous and added fine jewels to assure she did not look mourning.
But she was sure she looked strange. She had never been proficient when it comes to dressing up.
"I am not sure about that, my lady. I need the permission of my lord to allow you to leave your room." he shifted uneasily on his feet looking everywhere but her.
"Oh? I thought you were his closest assistant by your.. Never mind. I understand that authority did not come easily." his expressions changed at once. His eyes narrowed and his lips parted to utter a curse.
Men! How they were so easy to predict, so easy to rile and so easy to handle. She felt the strange power rising in her heart as he struggled for patience.
"I hold the authority well, but i will not use it for you." he spoke coldly, forgetting his manners at once and she gave him a knowing laugh in reply.
"Of course, I completely understand that." but the man only gritted his teeth the way she spoke them with a look of pity in her eyes.
"You are overreacting." he threatened and she sighed, like she was dealing with a crabby child.
"Of course, I apologize. I will wait for my breakfast then." he snapped at once when her lips twisted at the word breakfast.
"No, on a better note, you should go and have breakfast with the lord. Since you have a death wish, i will make sure that you fulfill it."