Azazel, Emma, George, and even Blumbledore returned the Britannica by dusk the following day. They were huffing and puffing, attempting to catch their breath as they journeyed tirelessly through the night and day to return.
Blumbledore collapsed on the dirt road in front of Granny's cottage, clutching his chest against the fabric of his robe. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "Perhaps my asthma is getting to me."
"If I knew the exact coordinates, I could have just teleported us," the wizard panted out as he caught his breath.
Azazel looked down at him, glaring. He wanted to claw his eyes out at that moment. He couldn't believe there could be an easier way to get back home. He held back the demonic urges, as he was sure it would be impossible to learn spells from a blind wizard.
Absolutely fantastic, old man.
Blumbledore could tell from the icy stare that he was not amused. "Next time, I will know how to teleport us here. I can teleport us anywhere, I assure you."
You better, you old geezer. I'll lock you up in a nursing home if you don't behave.
Granny opened the door to the cottage. She looked down to see the wizard collapse at her step. She placed her small fists against her hips, shaking her head.
"Blumbledore, are you napping in my kingdom?" She kneeled and flicked his nose.
"Perhaps," the old wizard laughed. "Long time, no see, Charlotte."
Granny sighed, shaking her head. "Always causing trouble, aren't you? Well, get up now. You're blocking my doorstep."
Granny stood up straight and looked between George and Emma. "You two go to bed. You both look about an inch away from death."
Emma nodded. She slowly walked toward the step. She simply walked over Blumbledore's body. She hung her head, dark circles visible in her exhausted state. She walked past Granny and into the cottage without saying a single word on her way to her bedroom.
Azazel was sure she would pass out immediately, so it was another night without claiming his official title as a man.
George followed Emma inside, except instead of walking over Blumbledore, he walked straight onto him. This caused a few exasperated noises to escape the wizard's mouth. When he felt his feet meet his ribcage,.
Granny side-eyed George and smacked him on the back of the head. "Watch out. Old folks are liable to get broken bones from hulking boys like you."
Blumbledore groaned as he finally managed to sit up, rubbing his nose where Granny had flicked it. "Just a minor inconvenience."
Blumbledore's back cracked as he stood up.
"Told you so," Granny nodded arrogantly.
"I'll have George carry you next time," Azazel smirked.
Blumbledore shook his head. "He'd drop me off in a ditch, and then every bone really would be broken."
Granny shook her head and looked at Blumbledore. "Here, old man. Go sleep in my bed."
"I am rather tuckered," the old wizard stated as he followed Granny inside the cottage.
Azazel hummed lowly as he made his way through the village. He looked up at the dilapidated palace, which was starting to look like an actual palace with all the work everyone was putting into it. He stopped and tilted his head, looking up. A proud grin tugged on his lips.
"Azzy! Not much longer!" Natasha sang as she ran to his side, grabbing his arm.
Azazel looked down at the smaller demon. "Good. You have done fine work."
Natasha lit up with a bright smile. She flashed her fangs and clapped. "Will I get a reward?"
"Depends."
Natasha took the statement as a 'yes.' "All right, when we are done, you gotta pay up!"
She blushed and rubbed her horns. She waved and went back to work on the palace. She hoped to please her master and claim her reward.
She is not getting that type of reward.
Azazel watched as Zeus came stomping out of his shop. The buff man had a rather serious frown on his face, making him appear even more manly. It wasn't often that he witnessed the blacksmith make such a face. Per usual, he was wearing pants but no shirt. Azazel noticed the golden hammer, which Zeus usually drugs alongside him, was nowhere to be seen.
"It's gone," Zeus stammered as he held up a fist, punching the air.
"What's gone?" Azazel asked him, looking at the empty holster attached to Zeus' pants.
"MAH HAMMER!" Zeus yelled, frantically pumping his fists in the air.
Azazel was sure the entire village heard him yell about his hammer. Surely he wasn't that upset about a simple hammer.
"Maybe you just misplaced it?" Azazel suggested with a shrug.
"No," Zeus said, shaking his head. "I WOULD NEVER MISPLACE MAH HAMMER!"
He seems rather passionate about a damn hammer. They sell those at hardware stores cheaply. Maybe Blumbledore could use the rift to get him a new one.
"Get a new hammer?" Azazel suggested, growing tired of the conversation about a damn hammer.
"You can't replace MAH HAMMER!" Zeus yelled out.
"And why is that? It's... a hammer."
"It's the Mjolnir! My weapon! My blood. My power. MAH HAMMER."
Azazel facepalmed. Why does he have Thor's hammer? Or rather, he had Thor's hammer. Zeus, the hammer thief, was thieved by another hammer thief.
"I have so many questions..." Azazel sighed.
"I'll answer them if you stay on the lookout for MAH HAMMER!"
"Stop yelling about your hammer!" Azazel commanded, his eyes turning a fiery red.
"Yes, master," Zeus said, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, though. Help me find my hammer."
"Tell me where you got the Mjolnir to begin with," Azazel insisted. He heard the story first before deciding if he would help.
Zeus sat down on a bench and patted the seat next to him. Azazel shrugged and sat next to him. He focused his gaze on the buff, old man.
"It's quite the story," Zeus stated proudly. "On a cold winter night, probably before you were a twinkle in your father's eyes..."
Oh boy...
"I traveled up a sacred mountain, looking for the holiest of waters. When I made it to the flowing river along the mountain's path, I met the gaze of a powerful figure adorned in white armor. This man held a golden hammer—it was a glorious hammer. The best of hammers. The greatest hammer I had ever seen. And I thought to myself, 'Man, I really need that hammer.'"
I don't need all these details...
"He looked at me; I looked at him. It was an intense contest of stares. A smirk appeared on his lips as he challenged me to a game. It was a game he thought only he could win."
Can you get to the point?
"He wanted to see who could hunt the most rabbits. I, with my powerful pecs and biceps, exceeded his expectations. I was able to out hunt the mighty man, even if he did have a godly hammer."
I'm sure.
"He gifted me with a sacred hammer—the Mjolnir! He said to me, Never lose sight of this precious hammer. You must protect this hammer like a baby."
...Okay.
"I glanced at him, then him at me. I asked him his name. It was a name I would always remember: Thor. This grandest of warriors had gifted me the greatest hammer of all."
"Was he the God of love and thunder?" Azazel asked with a smirk.
That movie was all right.
"Hell, if I know," Zeus nodded. "But he gave me a sick hammer."
"When did you last have the hammer?" Azazel asked dryly.
"When I went to bed last night," Zeus explained. "I went to make a cup of chamomile tea, and when I got back, it was gone! I always leave it beside my pillow, so there is no way anyone could have stolen it. Surely!"
It seems like it would be hard to sleep with a hammer under a pillow.
"Maybe you're just going senile?"
"I've asked everyone," Zeus sighed. "Nobody has seen mah hammer."
Azazel sighed, rubbing his temples. "Fine, I'll help you look for your precious hammer. But if I find out you just misplaced it, I'm not going to let you live it down."
Zeus nodded eagerly, his face lighting up with hope. "Thank you, Azzy! You won't regret it, I promise."
I'm sure I'll regret it. Wait, now he's also calling me Azzy?
"Did you look under your pillow?" Azazel grinned. "Under the bed? Under Granny's bed?"
Zeus shook his head. "Boy, I told you, it's gone."
"How am I supposed to locate this damn mythical hammer if it's not here?" Azazel was beginning to get annoyed again. "Maybe Thor came down and decided he wanted it back?"
"No," Zeus gasped. "Thor is an honest man. A man of his word. He told me from that day on, it was no longer his hammer, but mah hammer alone."
I'm sure.
"You are that sure?" Azazel asked, looking into Zeus's eyes for any indications of a lie.
Zeus grabbed both of the demon's hands and clutched them in his own. "I would never lie about this story. It is a memory that shook me to the core and made me the man I am today."
Azazel let go of Zeus' hands and sighed.
He believes this story. Fine.
"Alright, Zeus," Azazel said, resigning. "Let's start by checking around your shop. Maybe it rolled off somewhere nearby."
Zeus nodded eagerly, jumping up from the bench. "Great idea, Azzy! Let's go!"
Zeus led the demon to the shop. He immediately began looking around, but knew there was nowhere it could be. Azazel helped out, but there were nothing but ordinary hammers in the shop. He remembered Zeus fighting and working with a glowing, gold hammer, but nothing in the building fit that description.
Azazel shrugged. "No hammers here, unfortunately."
"What do we do?" Zeus asked frantically.
Azazel thought about it for a moment. Maybe if they asked Blumbledore, he would have some kind of hammer-locating spell.
"You know," Azazel began. "We could ask Blumbledore for help."
"That old asshole is here." Zeus asked.
I'm not even going to question why he called him an old asshole. I don't need another winding story.
"Yeah, he said he wanted to meet Lucifer."
"Well, Lucifer is off to Serdona with Emilia," Zeus remarked.
"What the hell are they doing there? Honeymoon?" Azazel asked with a raised brow.
"Something like that," Zeus coughed. "But right now, let's find mah hammer. Who cares what those two are up to?"
"Yes, yes." Azazel nodded. "I'm sure you wouldn't let me forget."
The two of them quickly headed out for Granny's cottage to see if Blumbledore could help locate the hammer. It was a toss-up, but it was the only lead they had.