An angelic wing extended, illuminated by the light from a finely painted stained-glass window. The wings were bright, glorious, and, most importantly, very holy.
They were attached to a man who was the splitting image of Adonis.
Or rather, the splitting image of a man who ruled over the fiery pits of hell.
There wasn't much of a difference.
"Have you come to study the words of our Lord?" The gentle voice of the archangel Michael spoke to the church hall full of loyal followers.
His eyes scanned the room.
An empty church with three followers.
One was asleep in the back, so that soul barely counted.
No matter. If it is three or sixty, I shall spread the word in the same manner. All should study the words of my father. I shall erase all corruption brought forth by the demonic presence of my brother.
"I will begin this study with a random verse," Michael began as he opened his holy book. "Please let it resonate with your core."
From there, Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. "Get out of here, baldy!" they said. "Get out of here, baldy!"
He turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
Michael cleared his throat and looked around nervously. He heard a light applause coming from the two cat boys, Oliver and Felix, as he completed reading the words from the passage.
His eyes sparked. He felt the words had resonated with those who attended the Sunday morning service.
"Now," Michael began. "Before I explain the intention behind these words, would anyone care to share their feelings?"
Oliver and Felix both snickered at one another. The men had no idea how to react to such a passage, which was somehow in the book of Yehwah.
"Please," Michael stated, pointing in Oliver's direction. "What does this verse say to you?"
Oliver straightened his position in his seat.
"God will kill me."
Michael sighed.
"If I scared a bald man, Lucifer would just laugh."
"That's not the point," the archangel said with a sigh. "You're not supposed to laugh at the bald man. Bald isn't even supposed to be taken literally in the text."
Michael wasn't surprised that the words of his father weren't understood, though he couldn't help but feel disappointed.
Felix burst out laughing.
"Please contain your laughter," Michael started with a soothing tone. "Allow me to explain the verse."
Felix's laughter was louder than the sound of Michael's voice. He was unable to catch his breath because he was laughing so hard. The imagery of the two bears attacking the group of children was too much for him to bear.
"Bear." Felix was laughing so hard that his stomach hurt. His ears were wiggling from side to side, clearly displaying his amusement and disbelief. "I can't bear this bear, man."
Felix had to stand up and walk out before he pissed himself. He was going to taint the church floors with his unholy urine.
Oliver flashed Michael a fake smile. The least he could do was listen to his explanation. He would give it a chance.
Surely, there was a hidden meaning behind it.
Surely.
Michael, still standing, held his Bible up high. He closed his eyes, hoping his heavenly father would grant him the strength to get the word through to the other cat boy.
With his index finger, he pointed to the text.
"This passage was not chosen randomly. It is meant to be a warning to all who are wicked, including Lucifer. The bears represent a punishment sent from our Father above. In this case, the bears are an example of the plague that is corrupting our world."
He placed his Bible on the altar. He narrowed his eyes on Oliver, offering him a gentle smile.
Oliver blinked. He blinked a few times.
"The... bears..."
Michael nodded, smiling. "Indeed."
"Are... the... plague?" Oliver stated as he tilted his head to the side.
Michael nodded. "Precisely."
"Right." Oliver gave the angel a blank stare.
Michael smiled. "Shall I go on?"
Oliver shook his head. "No, I get it."
"Wonderful," Michael said, with a hint of praise in his tone. "So you know how important it is to keep the bears in check."
"The bears are the plague, which is why they killed those kids," Oliver began to say. "The kids were the plague."
"No, no, no. The bears are God's punishment, not the plague itself," Michael corrected the cat-tailed man.
"Oh," Oliver responded, confused. "The bald guy is the plague."
"No, he's not the plague," Michael corrected the feline yet again.
Michael paused and placed a hand over his heart.
"As you can see, you must rid the world of the plague before the bears arrive. I'm afraid the time for judgment is coming sooner than later," he paused, taking a deep breath. "As it turns out, we are all in danger of the judgment."
"I don't understand," Oliver replied.
"Of course not," Michael stated. "It's not in your nature to understand. You have been so utterly corrupted by the plague that you are no different than those boys."
Oliver felt the urge to ask Michael if he was the bald man, but he refrained. He swished his tail, obviously feeling uncomfortable in the church.
"I can show you the light," the archangel said gently. "The light to free you from the plague."
Oliver wondered if the plague was humanity. That was it. Humanity was the plague. Technically, it meant Azazel, Lucifer, and himself were not the plague, as they were not humans.
This was not the best verse for a beginning lesson.
"I have to go," Oliver said, speaking out with a hint of nervousness in his voice.
"As you wish," Michael stated. "I will be here all day, so please come back at your leisure. I will be here waiting."
Oliver nodded and exited the building, his tail tucked between his legs as he walked out of the building.
"To hell with this," Michael could hear Felix speaking to Oliver. "Get ready to be pounded by this bear."
Those words made Michael shift uncomfortably. He literally clutched his pearls.
Michael scoffed.
The audacity.
Michael rested his body against a nearby balance beam. He inhaled. "Lucifer's rule as king and corruption in this town go deeper than it seems."
He sat down, taking a deep breath.
"What a shame," he whispered to himself. "What a shame."
Out of nowhere, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see the eyes of a demon. A small, blonde demon with yellow eyes nearly pierced his soul with wickedness.
That's right. She was here all along, but she was sleeping in the back. She may be a demon, but all souls are welcome to hear the holy father's word.
"Michael, right?" She asked, flashing her fangs.
"Yes, my child?"
"Do you have a bathroom in this church?" She asked.
"No."
"Okay, cool," Natasha replied. "Do you want to do it?
Michael shifted nervously. Did a demon really just ask him such an unholy question within such a holy sanctuary?
Surely not.
He scoffed.
"No, I would rather not," Michael stated, feeling offended.
Natasha sighed, then rolled her eyes.
"Man. First Azzy and now you."
"Do not use such an unholy name in a holy sanctuary!" Michael scolded her.
Natasha smirked, flashing her fangs in his direction. "Talk about Master Azzy like that again, and I'll bite you."
Michael scoffed. "As if you could reach."
Natasha's eye twitched.
She wasn't sure what came over her. It wasn't an act of rebellion or a sense of wanting to defend Azazel's name.
It was a natural reaction for her.
He looked like a white-winged bird.
She was starving.
She reached for the archangel, her mouth wide open. She lunged her body towards him, biting down into his neck with force only a demon could utilize.
Michael screamed, his eyes widening in horror. He couldn't believe a demon was attempting to drink his sacred blood.
They're all tainted. This entire village is trained. Oh, holy father, grant me thy strength...
Natasha withdrew her fangs quickly, coughing as the taste of his blood teased her tastebuds.
"You taste like an overdone chicken."
The taste did not appeal to her.
Something was off about the taste of his blood. She decided she wouldn't try to indulge in angel blood again.
"I'm out."
He couldn't believe a demon bit him.
A hellish demon!
"How dare she compare me to a chicken?"
Michael scoffed.
This was a new low.
Very low.
Very, very low.
Michael's blood dripped on the floor. It was a beautiful, golden color. It was holy. It was pure. It was sacred. It was wonderful.
"Yahweh …"
The archangel closed his eyes and kneeled to the floor. He lowered his head and licked the golden blood off the wooden floor of the church.
"Uh," a raspy voice was heard in the doorway.
Michael regained his composure. He glanced toward the figure in the doorway.
"Why Blumbledore?" the angel nearly cooed as he saw a new guest approach the church. "Did you come to-"
"No," the wizard stated in a flat tone, interrupting the angel before he could finish his sentence.
Michael watched as the bearded man walked off.
"Why doesn't anyone want to listen to the words in the holy book?"
Although he knew deep down, he may have had better luck with the wizard if he hadn't caught the archangel lapping up his own blood off the floor.
He just doesn't understand.
"Bringing the word of God to this town is going to be quite the task."
Michael vowed to not give up as he stood alone in the church.
It was also a guarantee rumors would spread, by an aging wizard, about the scene Blumbledore had witnessed inside the church.
Michael began to have quite the reputation as the town weirdo.
An angel who licks his own blood.
Who does that?
What a freak.
It was only a matter of time before the town would become fully aware of his holy kinks in the name of his savior.
Perhaps he was no better than Luke.