A tree.
A cat boy.
A cat boy stuck in the tree.
Not just any cat boy.
It was Felix. He was very drunk. He was also very naked.
This was an emergency?
If Azazel's jaw could drop to the ground, it would. Not because a cat got stuck in a tree—it was a common enough occurrence—but because he rushed to the scene thinking it was an actual emergency.
Azazel glared at Zeus.
Zeus rubbed the back of his head. He was drunk himself, so he didn't realize he had made it sound so urgent. "My bad."
"Help!" Felix purred. "I'm naked and afraid."
Azazel looked up. "You may be naked, but I'm the one who's afraid."
The demon focused his red eyes upward. It was a mistake. I see a certain type of ball in full view.
Felix was cowering in fear on the tree branch. His bits were swaying in the gentle night breeze. His fluffy tail was tucked between his legs. The scene playing out was too much. Azazel kind of wanted to just forget about it, as it was comical, but he refused to let his inner demon take over completely. He couldn't let a cat stay stuck in a tree.
He just didn't know how to get Felix down. Unfortunately, there was not a local fire department to save the kitty.
"What do you suggest?" Zeus asked, stroking his beard with two fingers. "Can you fly up there? Grab him?"
Azazel shook his head. "I don't know how to fly."
Maybe he should be able to; he didn't know.
But he couldn't. "There is someone who can."
Azazel walked behind the orc pub. He stared down at the literal fallen angel—fallen over drunk into the bush. He crouched down, placing his hand on the angel's shoulder, giving him a good shake.
"..."
"Really?"
Azazel grabbed Michael by the shoulders, dragging him out of the bush. He stepped over his giant wing. Bending down, the demon gave him another shake.
As he was shaking him, an orc zombie walked over.
Azazel stood up. He crossed his arms against his chest, observing the orc's movements. Perhaps the orc will be more effective.
He watched as the orc plucked the glorious white feathers from the angelic wings. A second orc approached. It stuffed a few of the dropped feathers in its undead mouth.
You know, I bet Michael's feathers would make a decent pillow.
"Natasha!" Azazel yelled out. He knew she was at work on the dilapidated palace, so she should come running.
Indeed. She came running. Gravity was not on her side.
I feel like the jiggle physics on Terra are a tad extreme.
The smaller demon grinned, flashing her fangs. "Master Azzy. Did you decide you were in need?"
Azazel cleared his throat, diverting his gaze. "Yes, I am."
Natasha's eyes glistened under the gentle radiance of the campfire. A soft blush crept across her cheeks, a contrast to her yellow eyes. She folded her hands in front of her body, wiggling her shoulders, as she was ready to give herself up to the throes of passion.
Sighing, Azazel cleared up the misunderstanding. "Gather those feathers. I need another pillow made."
With a heavy heart, Natasha began to gather the feathers one by one.
Azazel brought his hand to his chin. There didn't seem to be a good way to wake Michael from his drunken stupor. His eyes scanned his surroundings.
He spots a stick. It wasn't just any stick. The stick was shaped like a sword.
Hell, yeah.
He nodded once.
Azazel picked up the stick. He prodded the stick into Michael's side. The angel did stir, but it was with a laugh. He poked his side several more times with the stick, but the attack was ineffective.
The demon walked back to the tree. Somehow, Felix had managed to claw himself even higher up. Azazel shifted his eyes upwards, greeted with an even better view of the cat boy's crotch.
Azazel heard a door open. Emma looked up. She narrowed her eyes and immediately went back inside, slamming the door behind her.
I can't recruit her help now.
Oliver pranced over. He looked up. He saw his brothers stuck in the tree. He stripped off his clothes and climbed up the tree.
Oliver got stuck on the branch below Felix.
There they were: two naked cat boys sitting in a tree.
This is ridiculous.
"I give up," Azazel proclaimed.
Zeus looked at Azazel. A hint of disappointment flashed in his eyes. "You can't possibly be thinking of betraying the good people of the kingdom."
Azazel sighed. As he did, he heard another door click open.
Lucifer, only wearing his boxers, walked out of his cabin. He puffed his chest out. His two arms made his body into a box shape as he stomped over toward the scene.
Lucifer glared. "What in tarnatioms is going on out here?"
Azazel pointed his finger up at the tree. After a few moments, Lucifer's eyes looked in the direction of the tree.
"Oh, weird," he mumbled.
Emilia followed Lucifer outside. She stopped when she witnessed the two demons gazing up at a tree. She glanced up, then recoiled at the sight.
Azazel turned to her. "Fly up there and get them down. I'm tired of dealing with this mess."
Emilia shook her head. "Even I have my standards."
"What?" Azazel questioned.
"The feline variety doesn't interest me," she scoffed as she went back to the cabin.
Are you serious? There is a man she would reject.
Azazel turned to Lucifer. "You get them down."
Lucifer let out a hearty laugh. "You attempt to command the Lord of Hell?"
Azazel's eyes glowed fiery red as he glared at Lucifer.
"Even if I could," Lucifer began. "Which I won't, but if I could, I'm not saying I would, but if I were able, which I'm not, but even if I were to choose, which I don't, but even if I were to decide, which I cannot..."
"Nevermind!" Azazel growled.
He was running out of options. He had no real viable way to get the two cat boys down from the tree they were stuck in. His only options now were Emma and George.
Emma had already made her escape, but maybe George would be able to help due to his overwhelming size.
"Help, Azazel! We're naked and afraid!"
It was as if the two cat boys were singing in unison.
Azazel headed for the door of the small cottage. Before he could even knock, Emma let him in and wrapped her arms around him. She leaned up and started kissing him.
He really wanted to continue, but there was quite the scene outside, so he didn't think he could get away with it. He pulled away.
Dammit.
His horns were on the ceiling again.
Emma laughed. "Azzy, come to my room."
She picks the worst times. I swear I am never going to become a man at this rate.
"I am sure you saw the scene outside," he muttered as he attempted to loosen his horns. "I just need to fix that predicament first."
Emma backed up. "I am not getting involved in that. Actually, you made me remember. I am not in the mood now."
Of course not.
He finally pried his horns out of the ceiling. Instead of just wood, a bunch of rusty screws and some other random reinforcement materials fell to the floor.
"Natasha really went all out fixing the roof," he sighed. It was almost a shame that he ruined it.
"Are you going to get Oliver and Felix down?"
"Yes, I was planning to, but nobody is willing to help," Azazel responded. "Will you get George for me? I have a plan."
"Yeah, one sec." Emma ran to the back of the cottage.
A few minutes later, a good George appeared. He army crawled through the cottage, his biceps bulging as he carried the weight of his body.
Azazel opened the front door, waiting for George to inch closer. He watched as George crawled to the door. He then stood up, crouching out of the door.
Azazel led his beefy friend to the tree. He pointed up to let George know what required his assistance.
"..."
"Yeah, they're drunk."
"..."
"Yeah, I need your help."
George gave Azazel a thumbs up. He positioned his body in front of the tree.
Lucifer, Zeus, and Azazel watched as George took action. The trio of oddballs were quite a sight. If social media existed on Terra, we would be famous.
George huffed. He rammed his head into the tree.
"We're naked, afraid, and going to fall off the tree!" Felix yelled out.
"Don't. I don't want to die," Oliver yelled.
It wasn't over yet. George took an even deeper breath. He repeatedly rammed his head into the tree.
Everything moved in slow motion for Felix and Oliver. The last headbutt caused Felix to stumble. The cat boy began to fall from the tree, his legs in a wide, open eagle spread.
Azazel looked up. That was a mistake.
Zeus ran forward, catching Felix on his muscular shoulder.
"You saved my life," Felix purred against Zeus' neck. "I'm no longer afraid!"
"But you are still naked," Azazel chimed in.
Felix looked up; his eyes were focused on Oliver. He swished his furry tail side-to-side. "Get down!"
Oliver looked down. "No way. I'm stuck."
George headbutted the tree one last time. His vision was beginning to get blurry from the number of times he hit the tree with his head. Thankfully, his skull was thick, but he lost a few brain cells in the process.
He pressed his palm against his forehead. He stumbled, passing out next to Michael.
Azazel facepalmed.
As George stumbled, Oliver lost his footing. He tried to grab onto the tree branch as he fell. With a swift movement, Zeus caught the second cat boy, this time on his opposite shoulder.
Zeus set the pair down on the ground. They clutched one another's hands. The two stood up.
"Thank you," Felix purred. "We are no longer afraid."
The sun was beginning to rise. Zeus, Azazel, and Lucifer looked out at the horizon. The view was momentarily blocked by two cat boys running off into the sun rise, giving high fives to one another as they leapt into the air.
Indeed, they were naked, but no longer were they afraid.