That breakfast was awesome. Mom's cooking is reminiscent of home. There's something unmistakable about your own mom's cooking.
Dad told me I was acting more upbeat than usual, don't know what that means but whatever. I just told him I was just being me, bro.
Mom said school starts soon, so I better "Get the hell out of her house." I think she said it to be funny and serious at the same time. That's just how she is.
Time to start the day off, got to make sure I got everything. It's hard not to notice how small everything feels. It really puts into perspective how much we grow throughout our lives. I remember wanting to see what was on top of the fridge as a kid, always wondering what treasure coves lie just out of sight, now that I'm tall enough, I know there's only old mail and dried-out pens.
Growing up is demoralizing.
Gotta run upstairs to make sure I got everything. I run up the stairs on all fours like a dog and make it halfway before Thea notices me while she's doing her hair in the bathroom. Damn, this kid needs to do a lot in the bathroom before the day starts.
She winces at me, and while maintaining eye contact with me, slowly closes the bathroom door.
Immediately standing upright, I'm just going to pretend this didn't happen.
Making it up to my room, I do a quick look around, it's pretty bare, but there's a set of keys on top of my drawer. I'll probably need those, so I pocket em'.
I take one last look in the mirror and still feel unusual, but whatever. I lift both my arms up and say "Welcome to the gun show." While I flex my non-existent biceps.
Let's get this show on the road.
I let my parents know I'm off before I put on my shoes at the front door. They're dirty like I was running through mud recently.
Man, I don't really know what to expect from school. I just get this gut feeling I'm going to hate it.
Well, no time like the present, right? I'm pretty sure my teachers hate me though, but it's a new day, new me.
"I'll try harder at school today." I think to myself before opening the rickety and old door of the home, the hinges squeak as I open the door. And the subsequent storm door squeaks even louder.
I take my first step out the doors and feel the cool morning air strike my face. The sun is on the opposite side of the house, so it's nice and shady in the front yard.
Let's check out pockets real swiftly, one slap on my right side and another slap on the left side pocket. I can feel the keys jingling, and the stiff board of a phone in my right pocket.
"Should probably check the time" I pull the phone out of my pocket and take a good look at the built-in keyboard, the small screen above the keyboard reflects the time back to me.
"8:30 hey? Tons of time to make it to school." I say before I notice that it looks like I've got more notifications than before. Whatever I'll check them later.
"Where the hell's my lighter?" I think to myself.
Wait, why do I even need a lighter? What use do I get for one? I don't smoke or do I? That's a strange thought to come up outta nowhere.
Whatever, time for school.
For some reason, it's impossible to forget the way to school. It's ingrained in my noggin, forever sitting in there. Along with the lyrics to my favorite songs. And like the lyrics to my favorite songs, I remember them instantly when I'm listening to the song like while I'm beginning my walk.
I take a look back at the house, we've lived here for something like 13 years now or something. This corner house is at the four-way. It's pretty hard to forget.
After Thea was born, Mom and Dad moved from my grandparents' place to here.
Can't believe they decided to nest in this little piece of crap.
It's like a condo? Or something. It's a home that's connected to several other homes in one large building, and they all look the exact same.
I guess I shouldn't call it a piece of crap. It's not a crap house, it's a crap home.
Anyway, time to quit monopolizing the moment, there are a lot more moments in a day than the ones spent staring at my house.
Looking around, I begin following the sidewalk along the side of my home en route to school.
It's probably like a 15-minute walk. Ish? Give or take it's about 15 minutes.
Oh right, just down the road there's a corner store run by my mom's friend Vanessa.
She's always treated me like I was one of her own kids or something. I don't think she ever had any of her own.
"I wonder if she'd give me a lighter?" I think to myself. I don't know why I'm obsessing over this thing. Maybe I just like flicking the flint away in my pocket or something.
Y'know? To help with being an anxious teenage boy? Or something?
I've gotta stop justifying my motives and get a move on with the day.
I don't get any cash on me, but Vanessa's usually nice enough to let me pay her back when I can.
That's just one of the perks of living here for so long I guess. You either become invested in the neighborhood, or you act like that dickhead living across the street who said he'd sic his dog on me if I went in his yard when I was a kid.
Man, fuck that guy.
Let's start walking anyway, I've been standing around looking stupid for a while now.
There's a bit of a cold wind this morning, it's sunny but with a little hint of fall. The tree's leaves haven't changed colors yet.
Wasn't I supposed to check the date earlier? Ah, I'll figure it out at school.
The weather usually warms up quickly on days like today, it's just the morning grogginess in me, my body's gotta become accustomed to the climate or something.
The shadows from the overgrowth of trees juxtaposed with the sidewalk shimmer rays of light through the breeze. Staring at the pavement, you can just barely tell the shape of leaves before they scatter into a conglomerate mess of individual shapes.
The further I walk, the less trees there are. We're pretty close to the edge of the city. Not many people like to live so far away, but the quietness of the neighborhood is nice. At least most of the time it is, but since we live in a low-income part of the town, there are more than just a few trashy and loud parties in the neighborhood.
With daylight brings work, there are a lot of vehicles passing by. There are a few kids just up ahead getting on a school bus, the sound of black flies buzzing beside my ears is taking up a lot of my attention span though.
The houses along the road are all a bit worn down, the paint on a lot of them is chipping away and the yards of the homes are overgrown with weeds and grass.
I peer into one of these yards and notice the morning dew dripping from the blades of weeds.
And before I know it, I'm at Vanessa's little corner store.
The outside of the building is made up of some gross-looking tan-colored crushed-rock type of material, and the sign of her building says "Lucky's convenience store. 7-9 PM"
I walk in fully expecting an open-arms greeting from my beloved aunt-like person. There's a buzzing "ding-dong" as I open the door.
Vanessa is sitting behind the register; she takes one look at me and rolls her eyes.
"Vanessa, you beautiful bag of old bones, how are you this morning?" I say to her after putting my hands on the counter.
"Shaddap, why are you acting so happy? It's too early for your shit Daniel." She says while making herself busy by tidying up behind the counter.
She's a bit older than Mom, but her skin is a bit saggier on her face. Her curled dark hair reaches just past her chest, while her clothing style remains the same as my earliest memories of her. She's wearing a black sweater and blue jeans with what looks like a T-shirt underneath.
After admiring her for a minute, she breaks the silence while still looking away from me.
"You still owe me money, remember?" She says while letting out another sigh.
"Well, I'm sure the most beautiful corner store owner this town has ever seen could grant me some leeway, right?" lifting my eyes up and hoping to get a little pity out of her.
She finally takes a moment to look back at me.
"Listen, ya scrawny little mongrel. You can sweet talk me after you've paid me back. That's how it works."
I gotta play my plea deal with a bit more finesse.
"How many years have you known me now, My dear Vanessa?" I say putting my elbow on the counter and striking a cool guy pose.
"Something like 12? 14? I don't remember. Too old to count down the years now." She says while putting both of her elbows on the table and staring into my eyes with a slight sense of malice.
"It's been awful." She makes one last snide remark.
"Well." I remain silent while I think of something to say.
"Well, exactly. You're practically stuck with me, right? Imagine if I were to take my business to the much newer store that's pretty close to my school?" I'm trying to be assertive.
"No skin off my back, kiddo." I can feel her interest in the conversation lessening by the second.
"You know I'd never betray our friendship, don't you?" her eyeballs are rolling, if she keeps rolling her eyes they might fall out of their sockets.
We've got to press the attack further.
"So, with knowing all this." I start looking at my fingertips for dirt.
"How about we strike a little deal?"
"What the hell are you talking about? It's early, whatever. What do you even want this time?" She says while trying to hold back a small laugh.
I've cracked her.
"I just need a lighter." Honestly, don't know even know why a lighter is necessary for the day.
"Are ya gonna start fires again? You know the police asked me a load of questions last time." She says while grabbing a lighter that's behind the counter.
Shit hey, I guess that did happen. I know me and Austin did that when we were younger... and someone else? Can't really remember that far back.
"You better not be smoking; I'll tell your mom and she'll disown your dumb ass." she places the yellow lighter down on the counter.
"No, I'm not even sure why I want a lighter. It just feels like it's something I carry for some reason." I begin looking down at the lighter with half-opened eyes wondering why I need this.
She starts snapping her fingers at me.
"Quit zoning out. You can have it. You stupid kid." I look back up to her to see her smiling.
"I thought you were gonna ask for something again for that stupid little..." She takes a deep breath.
"Never mind, you ain't my kid and I can't control what you do."
Stupid little...what? What was she gonna say? I can't help but feel it'd be wrong to ask her.
"Well, I don't think I'm the smartest person in the room, but you ain't gotta tell me I'm stupid."
There's no one in the store besides me and her.
She laughs and tells me not to worry about it.
"How much do I owe you anyway?" It feels easier to ask these sorts of questions while she's laughing.
"Ahh it was just 20$, but you've been acting up lately. I almost thought the kid I watched grow up was gone. You called me a bitch and told me to fuck off when I asked you to pay me back a few days ago."
That's repulsing, why would I do that? Vanessa's been nothing but nice to me ever since I was a boy.
"I'm so sorry, I don't even remember doing that... why the hell would I say that?" I just hang my head down again, in shame this time.
"Apology accepted. I'm glad to see you acting more like yourself today." She smiles widely to reveal a nice white smile, albeit with one missing tooth.
Remember when you first came to the store? You brought Thea with you and took some of the 5-cent candies I had out on display and threw them in your pocket and told her to hush. Afterward, you got a chocolate bar and couldn't even afford it."
I cringe at the memory; she's told this story to me so many times. But this time it's especially cringey.
"Yeah, and you gave me the whole works and said something like "Oh I'm gonna call the cops on you, and you and your sister are never gonna see each other again," I say while pitching my voice up when I mimic her.
She hands me a chocolate bar from the counter and tells me I ain't gotta worry about paying her back and smiles.
I tell her I'll still pay her back when I can. And say sorry for being an asshole again.
She watches me as I leave the store, upon opening the door there's another ding-dong noise.
Well, that whole ordeal only lasted like 5 minutes, but I accomplished my goal of getting a lighter, for no real reason.
The sun is slightly higher in the sky, it's starting to warm up outside.
Time for school or something, I wonder what time it even is, better check.
8:48
Oh fuck, school starts in like 10 minutes. Let's get a fucking move on here, Danny.
I start walking the road to school, and the walk turns into a jog then to a sprint.
As I'm running, I keep my head down and focus on the noise of my feet hitting the pavement.
Clack clack, like a racehorse.
Neigh.
After a few minutes of sprinting, I make it to the school and cross the street to the gated fence of the perimeter. Fuck, that hurt my leg. Oh right, I injured my foot as a kid. It's been funky ever since, that's why I didn't join any sports.
The school is an auburn-colored brick building, a place for indignant youths like me to roam mostly freely under the supervision of reluctant adults. The two-story building stares back at me with an uncompromising atmosphere to it.
Not that it's got a will of its own, for you know, compromising. It's just a building.
The flags are at full-mast and waving in the breeze.
"I don't even remember what class I have. I don't remember... a lot? Why was I calling Vanessa a bitch, too?" All these discrepancies in memory are unusual, it feels like I can only recall old memories and whatever happened this morning.
While I'm standing staring at the building in front of me, I'm greeted with an affectionate but affirmative push from behind.
Before I can turn around, I hear a familiar voice tell me:
"Get out of the way, fucking idiot."
I turn to see a large boy, a bit taller than I am. I look up at him at his large buck teeth, his medium length, curly hair, and his big head. Guess it makes sense he's got a big head, he's a big dude.
His medium hair is curly and black, he's standing up straight and smiling as he looks slightly down to my eye level.
His build is large, you can see the contours of his collarbones sticking out from under his t-shirt, but he's still a bit on the husky side.
"You must think it's real funny to start pushing people in the morning don't ya?" I ask him while giving him a good push on his shoulders.
My best friend, Austin is the perpetrator who pushed me.
I take a good long look at him and can't help but feel remorseful.
A feeling of sadness is twisting its way inside me when I look at him.
It's like he can tell something is wrong as soon as my smile turns to a silent sadness.
Maybe in a juvenile way of comforting me, or just to break the silence he says:
"Don't be such a pussy, I barely even pushed you." Before looking beyond, me to the school gates
Snapping out of it, I just say:
"Sorry bro, looking at your ugly smile honestly brought me to tears. You've got the face only a mom could love, it's just so sad." While pretending to wipe away a single tear and gesturing to myself playing the world's smallest violin, and wearing a sad face.
He just laughs and says something I couldn't hear, as we were interrupted by the bell of the school day starting.
"Fuuuuuuck," he says while speed walking towards the school.
Let's just follow behind him, man this guy's got a huge back.
We walk through the schoolyard and into the entrance. The crowds of kids have already made their way to class and the usual loudness of the morning has begun to die down.
The entrance of the school is a large foyer, there are sports team flags and rewards won in the past plastered on the upper portions of the walls. they're far out of reach, probably to prevent kids from messing with them.
The office of the receptionist is straight ahead of the entranceway, with an intersection of three hallways. One hallway beside the receptionist's desk leads to the gymnasium, which is straight ahead of the entranceway. And the two other hallways lead to classrooms.
We take a right, still following behind Austin like his little puppy. His steps begin to widen and move quicker.
There are several bulletin boards outside of the classrooms, most of which have decorations stapled on them with the words "Welcome!". Underneath the welcome signs are empty spaces, probably meant for students' work as the year progresses.
Typical high school décor, we pass by a set of stairs leading to the second floor of the school, but Austin keeps strutting on ahead.
In front of us, there's another turn in the hallway which leads to more classes, but we stop just short of it. We're nearly at the end of the hall, towards a fire exit that leads to the side of the school. Austin is standing outside the doorway of a classroom and listening in.
After a few seconds, he lets out an exasperated:
"maaaaan." He says staring into the room so as to not alert the teacher.
"I hate coming to Ms. Farley's class late." He lifts the strap of his backpack upwards and adjusts it on his back and stares into the classroom.
"Man, everyone's already sitting down and she's starting the lesson." He whispers back to me.
I don't feel like looking at his back anymore, so I slink past him into the classroom.
"Well, we've gotta get this over and done with," I say while feeling hopeful.
I shouldn't have felt hopeful.
Entering the class, everyone who's already sitting begins staring our way.
There's an air of tension rising as Ms. Farley looks our way.
Ms. Farley stops talking to the class and stares our way. She looks like a typical thirty-something English teacher. Her blonde hair is tied in a bun and her makeup isn't heavy but noticeable. She's sitting at her desk, which is well-organized and looks proper.
While ignoring her gaze, I walk towards an open desk. Passing by the silent onlookers and feeling the intensity of her eyes on me. Austin follows behind me, meekly. The desk I chose was the closest open one, in the center of the class.
Let's just place this backpack down and take out our binder and whatever other crap we need to start the day.
As soon as I sit down, Ms. Farley says to me in an aggressive tone:
"You're going to come to MY class two minutes late, Daniel? Austin? You should know when the bell rings that you should already be here. In fact, you should be here 5 minutes before class starts."
Her tone of voice is condescending and belligerent.
I look at her and see her cheeks are beginning to turn red, I continue unloading my stuff and wait for the outburst she's about to have.
Never knew why teachers liked to explode on their students, must be their only outlet of control in their lives or some shit.
"You know they won't take this in university, right? Your professors aren't going to accept tardiness and they'll be five times harsher on you than I am." Spoken like a true dictator standing on a morally superior pedestal.
She continues on.
She's going to be mad either way, I might as well prepare for class.
I drone out what she's saying for a minute before attempting to talk back to her.
"Are you listening? Daniel? I asked you a question." She begins to stand up from her desk.
"Sorry Ms. Farley, I- "she immediately interrupts me.
"I don't want to hear it; you're going to make up for the interruption you caused for the rest of the class. You've wasted all of our time by being late and you'll stay in the class for as long as you've wasted all OUR time. The same goes for you, Austin." She says before sitting down, her nose flared while she's probably huffing and puffing on the inside.
Whatever, doesn't really matter, right?
"Alright Ms. Farley, I'll be here. It gives me more time to reflect on my actions and learn from your example." I say while trying to quell the beast within her.
"You'll be sent to the office if you want to be a smart ass, Daniel." She says before turning to the board and erasing yesterday's date and changing it.
There's the faint sound of laughter coming from the rest of the students in the class. I just sink into my chair and think "No wonder why she's single."
Yo, I shouldn't think stuff like that. A relationship doesn't define you as a person.
I take my binder out of my bag and begin looking through my notes for what we were even doing in class.
She writes down: Wednesday, September 7th, 2011.
After coughing and bringing attention to herself, Ms. Farley explains what we're doing today.
"Well, before we were interrupted. As you all know, it's Wednesday, and we were studying a short story last Friday. When I gave you all your homework assignments to take home and they're due today. So before class starts, everyone brings their assignments forward and puts them in the basket on my desk."
The rest of the students all begin stacking papers and walking forward.
Shit dude, I didn't do it. All I've got in my book are a few pages of scribbles and half-assed notes with no date on the pages.
Feeling the sweat drip from my brow, I look to Austin who's sitting behind me.
We share a look of fear, and a smile before he gives me a cautioned thumbs up.
I give a thumbs up back, and for a moment I feel a sense of comradery in our latent inability.
But that moment of endearing friendship is swiftly disturbed, as he removes a piece of paper from his binder and begins to walk toward the front of the class.
I watched his back turn on me, I had an unrealistic expectation we were in this together.
Austin hands in his assignment and returns to his seat, and the remaining students are once again seated and remaining vigilant to hear the teacher's instruction.
Except for me, Ms. Farley notices I haven't handed in my assignment. Her attention is on me, but she only scoffs and shakes her head at me for not having finished any of my work. She probably thinks I'm a lost cause and that she wasted enough energy on me already, because she didn't scold me in front of the class again.
She begins the class; she starts by handing out another bundle of pages stapled together. It's a short story that we're to read silently and she'll ask us questions about it later. I do my best to read it diligently.
Fifteen minutes into class, another student walks in who is way later than me and Austin were. But they've been given some special treatment and are greeted with open arms by Ms. Farley. She even said, "Oh it's so lovely to have you here." To them.
Why is it okay that they're late but not us, huh? Class hierarchies are stupid.
After class, I and Austin spend the five minutes of class time we wasted after the bell for recess.
When she's done her power trip, she only says "You can go" and waves her hand at us while writing down something on her desk, she doesn't bother to look our way.
Well, we already packed up when class ended, so we've just been sitting here for no real reason.
Me and Austin both walk out of the class without saying anything. For a moment it feels like we can finally breathe without the tension of our boundary-stepping teacher.
The moment, like all moments today is short-lived.
As we walk into the hallway, there's a girl waiting beside the class with her headphones in listening to music and bobbing her head back and forth. She's mouthing the words to the lyrics with her eyes wide open and focusing on a specific tile on the ground. She's got the hood of her sweater on, I couldn't get a good look at her face.
"What a weirdo." I think before walking past her and asking Austin what our next class is.
He looks at me, and I'm able to discern the words he wants to say by just his facial expression.
It's saying "Bro, what's wrong with you?" and he begins jerking his head to the left towards the girl standing in the hall.
That's when she interrupts.
"You're really just gonna walk past me like that? Like what? I'm just some other bitch to you now?" She puts her phone in her sweater pocket and starts walking toward us with her fists balled up.
"You didn't answer my texts, and now you're just walking past me like I don't fucking exist?" her face is practically up against mine at this point, she's closed the distance between us.
Her beautiful brown eyes are contrasted by her bloodshot sclera. She's got a small face, but her nose is a larger size. Her lips are murmuring a tremble which disappears as she looks at me.
Me, who has no idea what the hell she's talking about?
I can only see an angry girl with long brunette hair that's falling out of her sweater hood, she's short and angry is all I know.
That's when I let out the words which sealed my fate.
"Uhm. Who are you?" I ask dumbfounded.
There's a snap in her demeanor, a crack in her character.
She begins to put more force into her clenched fists, I can tell her by the blood vessels popping up in her hands.
"Who am I? What the fuck do you mean who am I?" she says, raising her voice.
There are a few students staring at us in the halls, probably just as confused as me.
She lowers her voice and breathes in through her flared nostrils. Probably trying to calm herself down.
"I'm your girlfriend? You know, the person you love?" her eyes were closed when she said that.
Oh, well. Fuck.
When did I get a girlfriend? What's her name? is she really that important to me?
All these questions arise in my head, but I've got no idea who the hell this girl is.
But I've gotta work around this situation somehow.
"Sorry, it was a joke," I say holding up both my hands.
"I thought you'd laugh, ha ha." I turn my head to Austin looking disappointed in me.
Her temper is clearly unsatiated by my response.
"Whatever. Your jokes are never funny." She almost looked like she had a pouty face for a second.
Then she begins to speak some demand me, telling me to go to the corner store down the road before my class to grab her something.
I'm just standing here being commanded by what's essentially a stranger to me right now. It's the polite thing to do or something.
"Oh right, you owe that stupid bitch at the store 20$. Do you even have money on you?" She asks while folding her arms.
So, this is why I owe Vanessa money.
Well. The clock is ticking, and she's wasting our time. Her calling Vanessa a bitch made some volatile emotion fester inside me.
She begins talking about something, it's like her mouth is moving but I'm not hearing her words. I'm only focused on the fact that she's got nothing nice to say about anyone or anything.
"Me and Austin gotta get to our next class," I say while patting Austin on the shoulder and walking forward.
"Wait, I'm not done talking to you." She begins to walk towards us.
I look back at her with disdain. She might not be done talking, but I am.
Austin looks surprised about the whole thing, and I'm surprised he sat there and listened to what she had to say to me. That's what bros are for.
"Glad you're finally growing some balls and standing up to her." I slouch my shoulders up and give him a puzzled look, before dropping them back down.
"It was pretty entertaining, thanks for the morning entertainment, bro."
Now I know why he stayed to listen.
Was I always such a pushover though? I don't know.
"I'll deal with whatever she's going on about later," I say and ask him what our next class is.
It's apparently Chemistry, riiight. Chemistry, with mr.... something. I forget his name, he's not extraordinarily interesting.
His Classroom's on the top floor, near the staircase.