Albus Dumbledore had long hated muggle orphanages. Any orphanage would be bad enough, (even though the British wizarding world did not have any functioning orphanages), but ever since Tom Riddle, going to meet a young witch or wizard in an orphanage was tainted in his eyes. Therefore, it was a task that he usually delegated. Today, however, that would not be an option, no matter how enthusiastic Hagrid was. He was dressed in his muggle best, although he was still receiving stares ' the beard perhaps' he mused to himself ' they don't seem to be much in fashion amongst the muggles anymore'. Arriving at his destination, he shuddered to himself, always these buildings seemed to be made to exude ugliness and pain. A squat, brick-grey building, surrounded by dead grass and withering trees, it really did not inspire happiness. ' At least Harry seems to have done well up to this point in school, and no serious trouble has been reported' . As he was about to enter the building, a troubling thought slyly whispered to him ' they may have been too frightened to report anything' . Dismissing his worries he strode into the place. Immediately he was greeted by the sight of two young children in brownish smocks running and giggling as a harassed looking women entered the room they had just left. "Excuse me miss, I'm looking for a Mrs. Spruce?" The girl goggled at his appearance for a second, before giving her head a minute shake and muttering something under her breath. Then she said all in one breath giving the appearance that the words were racing each other to get out " 'er office is right through there sir, 'ave you seen two young'uns come through 'ere?"
"They went straight on through, thank you", following her raised arm, he headed off towards the offices. "What's that?" was the Matrons response to the knock on her office door. ' Charming, this should go so well' he thought to himself ' strange, I am usually far less cynical, must be this horrid place', gathering his thoughts he entered her office, closing the door behind him. Mrs. Spruce, a stout, stern looking woman didn't even look up as he entered "Evelyn, I have so much to do right now, just put the files down and go check on Robert….".
" I am sorry for the interruption, but I am not Evelyn" at this the woman looked up and looked totally confused. Before she even had a chance to speak, Albus continued "My name is Professor Dumbledore, I run a very ah, select school in Scotland, I am here to speak with you about one Harry Potter?" By now, she had recovered her composure, although she seemed rather confused about the turn of conversation ' Is that nervousness in her eyes? Oh, please let it not be so'
"What about him? What's this school you're talking about? How do you even know of him?"
' It always comes to this, I always get the clever ones' handing her a blank piece of paper with a minor enchantment on it, he told her "this should explain everything".
After a few seconds of looking at the paper, she cleared her throat "Well, that all seems to be in order. What were you looking to find out?"
' And here we find out if I really should be worried or not', "I'm just interested in hearing about Harry's childhood, friends, strange occurrences, all that".
"Ah, well then, let me think, I don't think Harry ever had any close friends. In fact, he had trouble with the other children for a long time"
"Trouble?" Albus asked, appearing very calm, but inside a pit of dread was beginning to form, he knew how this story went ' I knew I should have taken a more active role in checking in on him, I knew we should have done more than check in once every few weeks and speak to his teachers' .
"Oh yes", Mrs. Spruce answered, unaware of the turmoil going on in her guest's mind "You know how kids are, they pick on one another, they sometimes seem to want nothing more than to make someone else's life more miserable than their own, poor mites"
"And you did nothing to stop this?"
Had the matron not been lost in recollection, she would have noticed the bit of steel entering Dumbledore's voice. "No, it was never something that we could see. And Harry would always deny that he was being hurt by the other kids, his bruises and cuts were from falling down he would say, he didn't know who took his bedclothes he would tell us". She took a deep breath, and an expression of fear seemed to cross her face for an instant "That all stopped by the time he was eight".
"Oh? What happened?" ' I will never forgive myself, how could I have done this? Have I turned the Chosen-one into Tom?'
She looked at him very sharply "I'm not crazy, I have to say that before telling you anything" "I would never think you were".
She breathed in, very deeply again "Strange, strange things started happening. Started when he was around seven. He would be crying and bruised, and something-a vase, a cup would explode. Then he would stop crying. Bruises and cuts which should have taken days, if not weeks to heal were gone by the next day. Reuben Slide's bed caught fire, and nothing else around it was burnt". She seemed almost terrified about what she was going to say next "But the bullying only stopped when Joseph died" She seemed to cut off in the middle of the sentence there, and Albus was quick to pick up on it
"Joseph?"
"Joseph Walten. We believe he was the ringleader of the children who terrified Harry. He was an older boy, had ended up here from an extremely abusive and violent home. He had gotten a lot more blatant since these odd things had started happening, blaming Harry for them, Saying he was a freak or a devil. We caught him bullying Harry a few times during that time, and I don't even like to think of those scenes. We punished him harshly, of course, and did everything we could to make sure they weren't alone together, but it's impossible for the staff to be everywhere all the time. One night Harry was beaten very, very badly. Almost too badly for the nurse to take care of. Three days later, Harry was all healed. The nurse swore it should have taken him a month. That night, Joseph tripped at the top of the stairs. He broke his neck in the fall. Harry was never bullied again".
' What have I done? Oh James, Lily, forgive me. I made your son into a murderer. Self-defense perhaps, but he killed. What have I done?' By now, the dread in Albus' stomach was feeling more and more like someone had dropped a concrete bowling ball there. And was now alternating between using heating and freezing charms on it. But the woman did not seem to be finished. "And then there was the horrible business with Mr. Roberts".
"Mr. Roberts?" ' Oh no, there can't be much more of this' .
"He was a handyman who used to work here. There were fears amongst the staff that he may have been a bit too physical with the children if you get my drift?"
' What hell have I put Harry through? He may have been better off with those monstrous relatives of his' "Speaking as an educational professional, I must hope that serious action was taken against this man" these calm words, spoken with acid behind them seemed to cut through the matron's haze of memories
"Listen here! We are severely understaffed and underfunded. We were watching him, speaking to the children we believed affected, and trying to get any of them to come forward so we could contact the police. None of them would, until Harry did"
"Harry came forwards about him?"
"Yes. I wish I could forget that entire event" her face had a look of severe pain and distaste on it "Harry came to speak to me, about six months after Joseph's death. He was crying and kept saying how he did something bad. I admit, my first thought went to Joseph. But then he told me that Mr. Roberts spoke to Harry privately and that Harry did 'something bad'. We never found out from him what that something bad was, but he eventually admitted that Mr. Roberts was physical with him"
"What else happened?" Albus feared the answer, but he had to know. He had to.
"Mr. Roberts hung himself that same night."
There was an extremely uncomfortable silence until Albus broke it "Did anything else of note occur in Harry's childhood?"
"Well, he was adopted. The Welhearts, lovely family. They brought him back after a week, said he was possessed by the devil" Mrs. Spruce looked at her guest carefully, he seemed lost in thought ' Goddamnit, I had to open my big mouth. I've scared him off now. Why did I feel like I had to say all that? Please God, let him just take that Potter boy off my hands. There's just something profoundly disturbing about that child' "I don't mean to paint a bad picture" trying to recover from all the terrible things she had spewed "Harry is generally a wonderful child. He's extremely polite, very bright boy-He skipped a grade and would possibly skip next years if he doesn't go to your school. He's not particularly unfriendly, but he prefers to read. He's happy to help around the place."
"I'm not surprised" ' Lily's mind, that's for sure. I wonder how he would do with children his age who aren't terrified of him? James was extremely social' "Would I be able to meet with him? If now isn't a good time, I will be happy to return later" Albus said, knowing full well that according to his most recent information on the orphanage, Harry should be available right then.
"Oh certainly, certainly. His bedroom is upstairs, he's most probably reading there. It should be private enough, his roommates are usually out playing football or something of the sort at this time"
As Albus followed Mrs. Spruce through the orphanage to the staircase, he had the opportunity to witness her in action. "Jason, Will! No running in the hallways" "Madeleine, excellent, take that soup to Steven please" "Richard, did you take your medicine this morning?" She certainly seemed on top of things. ' It's truly a pity they are so understaffed and poor as she said. The world would be much brighter if this place could be brightened up…' Lost in his musings, Albus almost missed the fact that she had stopped outside of a door on the second floor. He drew himself back together as she knocked, and followed her into the bedroom. "Harry dear, there's a professor Dumbledore here to speak to you" ' remarkable, most muggles can't pronounce my name correctly' . But Albus' thoughts were cut off at the sight of the boy sitting cross-legged on the bed before him. He was so momentarily entranced that he did not even notice the stout matron leave. The boy was sitting on a bed against the wall, just below a large oval window. There were some books scattered before him, an eclectic range from a physics textbook to a Batman comic book. But what so grabbed Albus' attention was the boy's physical appearance. Not the scrawny and thin figure no, not the glasses perched on his nose and seemingly held together by pure luck. Not even the famous scar poking out from the mess of hair. It was just how clearly his parents lived on in Harry that shook Albus for a second. ' Exactly as everyone claimed. Looks just like James, but Lily's eyes' But James never sat in such a way that made him seem as small as possible ' a common defensive mechanism among such children, probably totally unconscious' and Lily never had such wariness in her beautiful emerald eyes.
"Harry, my name is Professor Albus Dumbledore, I'm here to speak to you about whether or not you would like to come to my school"
Harry seemed extremely cautious as he politely asked: "What type of school would that be sir?"
A ghost of a memory long gone spoke in Albus' head ' the asylum, that's where you're from isn't it?!' ' Shut up! This is not Tom!' "Hogwarts is a very special school, one you have been put down since from birth" Albus saw the minute changes in Harry's expression as his feelings changed from fear to utter, total confusion ' very practiced at schooling his face' he noted almost clinically "It is a school for people exactly like you. It is a school of magic". Harry looked up, very sharply, his face still mostly blank but the corners or his lips curving up slightly "Magic?" he whispered.
"Yes, magic. You have noticed yourself making strange, unexplained things occur haven't you?"
"Magic" Harry repeated, almost to himself his eyes distant "I knew there was something" He looked straight at Albus, clearly unable to contain his grin from spreading "Yes sir. I have noticed".
' And here we see how grounded my worries are' "And what Harry, have you noticed exactly?" Albus spoke calmly, seeming interested in-fact, masking the worry that writhed within him as he waited for the answer. Unbidden, the voice spoke in his mind again 'I can make them hurt if I want to'
"Strange things would happen when I would get angry or scared sir. And I would always feel this rush of energy when that happened" Harry still seemed to be processing the news that he was capable of using magic. His body had begun to shake a little, as if full of nervous energy and his face was glowing with joy. "I knew it. I knew there was something about them" He spoke to himself, Albus watching carefully, his fears shaking within him "Sir?" Harry asked, "None of the other children here can do magic, can they?"
"Not as far as I am aware, and as Headmaster of the primary magical school in Britain I would be". Still watching Harry, Albus noticed the second something important crossed Harry's mind "Sir, you said I have been put down for this school since birth?"
"Yes Harry", knowing where this was going, but unable, and truthfully unwilling to prevent it from going there Albus waited for the inevitable next question
"So who put me down for it? My parents can't have cared much for me or they wouldn't have just abandoned me here, and I have no other family".
A sharp pain shot straight through Albus' heart at those words ' James, Lily, I hope you forgive me for what I did, for I can never forgive myself'
"Harry, your parents loved you very much. They were"
He was cut off as Harry interrupted angrily, standing up, his nostrils flaring and his eyes looking suspiciously wet ' this is something that has been burning within him for a long time, let him move through it' "Where are they? If they loved me so much, why did they leave me here? Why did they put me in this, in this place ? Do they know what my life has been like? Do they even care?" Tears were running down his cheeks, he lifted a hand to rub them away and abruptly blinked. "I'm sorry sir that was rude and uncalled for". He sat back down on his bed, his whole body shaking as he rubbed his eyes.
Albus made a motion to take Harry's other hand, but the boy flinched and pulled his hand back. ' You utter fool, of course, he would not want physical contact, think before you act' . "Harry", he said gently, causing the boy to look back at him and make an effort to stifle his snuffling "Your parents did not simply abandon you. They were murdered"
Harry's eyes went wide, and his body stopped all movement. "What?"
"They were murdered. They died attempting to save you"
Harry tried to speak a few times, but his voice seemed to catch in his throat each time. Eventually, he managed to get out "Please sir, tell me more".
"Very well. This is a sad, sad tale. There was a wizard who went bad. As bad as any wizard could go. His name was Tom Riddle, but when he started his terrorist organization-the Death Eaters- He began going by Lord Voldemort"
"Vol-de.."
"Voldemort. The majority of the wizarding world is still afraid to speak his name. He was evil Harry. Killing, torturing, kidnapping-He incited a war within the wizarding world."
"Why? What did he want?".
"That Harry, is a very complex question. He hated muggles that is, non-magic people, and felt that Muggle-borns, those are wizard and witches whose parents are muggles, should not be considered the same as those who hail from strong wizarding stock".
"Why did he kill my parents? Were they muggles sir?"
' Very quick child, barely stuttering over totally new terms to him' "No, no. They were not. Your father was the heir to an ancient and powerful wizarding family, and your mother, though a Muggle-born was an extremely talented and powerful witch. He killed your parents because they fought against him in the war".
"You said they died trying to save me, sir?"
' I cannot tell him about the prophecy. Not at this stage. I've harmed him enough already' "Your mother's body was found just in front of your crib, your father had apparently attempted to block him from getting to your room. But Voldemort was a most powerful and brilliant wizard, and very, very few even stood a chance of surviving a fight with him".
"And then sir? He just left after killing them?"
Albus took a moment to observe Harry before answering. His face was flushed, and his eyes still watery, but frankly he seemed far less emotional than he should be. Not quite the blank-faced boy he had been at the very start of the conversation, but still, there should have been-something more showing after hearing about his parent's deaths. Perhaps the boy actually preferred this to thinking that his parents had simply abandoned him. A small internal shudder rippled through him. "Then Harry, a very strange thing happened. Voldemort cast a curse at you-The Killing Curse to be precise. Nothing short of a physical barrier can block it. No-one in history has ever survived it. Until you. Somehow, the curse rebounded off you, giving you that particular scar" here Albus raised his hand to point at the scar in question, and again Harry flinched back, almost imperceptibly this time ' How much has this boy been damaged if he is this fearful of physical contact?', "the curse rebounded upon its caster, tearing Lord Voldemort free of his body, and vanquishing him. In one night, you Harry, won the war for us".
"I… what?"
"It is a matter of great debate whether Voldemort was actually killed, but leaving that aside, suddenly his group was missing their leader, their general and strategist, and their most powerful and overwhelming fighter. With him gone, many people who were under trances of his control came out of them and were able to give us information. Many on their side became too afraid to keep fighting. We won because of you. And that is why Harry, there is not a single witch or wizard in Britain, in fact in the whole Europe who does not know your name."
Harry looked totally flabbergasted. "I'm… famous?" Albus gave a brief chuckle.
"Harry, the wizarding world as a whole views you as their savior. They call you the boy-who-lived. You are extremely famous. I expect you will be a source of major stares when you head into wizarding areas".
Harry looked extremely uncomfortable by this idea. There were a few minutes of silence as Harry was allowed to digest this news. Albus saw the light in Harry's eyes as the obvious question must have occurred to him. ' Here it comes Albus. Be careful, he will likely hate you for this. Not that you deserve any different' . "Sir," Harry sounded extremely hesitant, almost as if he knew this subject was not going to leave either of them happy, "If I'm so famous, and so well loved, why was I left here? Was there no wizarding family prepared to take me in?"
Albus heaved a great sigh. "Harry, my dear boy. I am so deeply sorry, but the fault for that lies with me". Harry looked completely shocked, not just at the answer but at the honesty inherent in it. "You must understand the atmosphere after you defeated Voldemort Harry, it is crucial to your understanding this. On that fateful Halloween, it was clear to all of us that we would win the war. However, we also knew that we would never be able to round up all the Death Eaters. Too many of them had kept their activities totally secret. Many of their identities were known only to Voldemort himself". Harry looked like he wanted to ask something, and Albus stopped talking for a second when the boy simply bit his lower lip and looked thoughtful ' is that rage hiding in his eyes? Where is the fire from earlier?' he continued "It was obvious that you would be in danger. They would come after you, whether from a desire for revenge or some misguided attempt to restore their master, they would come". Albus found himself lost in memories of that time for half a second, "In fact, four days after Halloween, two Aurors-wizarding police- were kidnapped and tortured into insanity. The torturers were searching for the whereabouts of Voldemort-and you Harry". Harry gulped, never removing his intent eyes from Albus' worn face.
"The solution was obvious-to-me at least. You had to be placed somewhere where you would be safe from the Death Eaters, and where no-one would know where you were. Hence, it was decided you would be brought up by muggles. Our first idea fell through, as the family you would have been placed with were unable to raise another child. And so, you were placed here." ' Best not to tell him too much about that first family. If he doesn't already hate muggles that would definitely push him along the road' . "I attempted to protect you, as much as could be. Wards were placed on the building that would inform me the instant magic was used here. Guards, people I trust deeply, checked in on you discretely every so often" ' Definitely rage there. Pain too. Quickly Albus, explain yourself!' " My original plans were slightly different. A ward was originally placed upon you that would inform me the instant violence happened to you. It was a foolish idea"
"Foolish how sir? That sounds like it would have been amazing to me!" His voice rising shrilly by the end of it, Albus was quick to go on "every time you were spanked, every time you were taken to a physician for an injection, every time a friend played roughly with you, I was alerted. By the time you were two, the ward was summoning me three or four times a day. I had no choice but to remove it". Harry leaned back, with an air that said although he would accept that answer, he was not satisfied with it. "Originally, you were being observed twenty-four hours a day. However, after approximately a year, questions started to be asked of my… associates who were watching you. Remember Harry, this had to be kept as secret as we possibly could keep it. For every additional person who joined your 'guard', we risked a greater possibility of a Death Eater finding out, or worse, accidentally recruiting a secret Death Eater!" Harry looked up at Dumbledore seriously, looking like he was going to say something harsh. He stopped when he saw the tears slowly leaking out of the old wizard's eyes. "Harry, I wish I had made any other decision. I truly, truly do. I never knew how bad your life was here, and I should have. I know you may not be able to forgive me, and I accept that, but I beg you to try to understand that I was trying to keep you safe." Harry seemed totally taken aback by this, lost for words, he just looked down at the floor. "And I want to assure you, that the suffering you have experienced in this place is not tolerated at all in Hogwarts, neither from the teachers nor from your fellow students."
Looking to move the subject away from this dangerous territory of his past, Harry asked "So, I'm in the school, Sir? But what about fees? I don't have any money and…"
"Harry, Harry, Harry. Your parents were rather wealthy you know. Their gold is still all intact at the wizarding bank. And of course, you are in, provided you wish to come?"
"How could I not Sir?"
"Of course. Of course. Well then Harry, here is your official Hogwarts letter, included in it is your school lists. Would you like me to accompany you to shop? I would be more than willing…"
Scanning the paper of his required shopping, Harry's eyes were wide as Galleons (not that he would know what those were yet) "No thanks sir, I can manage on my own. But would you be able to tell me where I can find this stuff? I don't think I've ever seen a cauldron for a sale before! And definitely not a wand!"
Chuckling, Albus began to describe to Harry how to get to Diagon Alley. "And I would advise you to go to Ollivanders and get your wand first Harry, that can take some time"
Albus was just standing up to leave when Harry, in an extremely hesitant tone asked him "Sir? Uh, do you think you could tell me a bit about the wizarding world? All the other kids are gonna have such a head start on me, I don't want to be staring at perfectly ordinary magical sights"
"Certainly Harry. I wouldn't say all the kids, after all, there are plenty of other muggle-born and raised children at Hogwarts, but you raise a fine point. Now, Hogwarts was founded approximately…"
And so Albus began to introduce Harry Potter, only child of James and Lily Potter to the world of magic, a world in which, if there was any true justice, he would never have been forced to miss out on. As Albus lectured, he thought to himself about how well this meeting had gone, and he thanked the fates that Harry was not furious with him. So caught up in his joy was he, that he totally missed out the deep wells of bitterness and rage hidden far within those striking Emerald eyes.