"Why can't you just get this right? How many years have you been working here? Why are you still making such rookie mistakes? Do you want to go back to the hospital and have your brain checked?"
Jane was wringing her out early Tuesday morning. Everyone else quietly worked and the only thing that can be heard is her high-pitched voice. She just took it all as she admitted that she did make a mistake. She often wondered what was really wrong, because even if she kept trying her best, others would still do better. Even the newbie that just entered their department a year ago could do a lot better than her. He also gave her some advice and she wanted to accept it, but then the way he said it was more of him mocking her than wanting to help her. She also glanced at him and he was smiling.
He may be smiling about something else. I should not think much about it.
"You have the audacity to not listen! Unbelievable!!!"
Jane got angrier, and she was already drained when she finished. She was sitting among others, but not with her teammates, at lunchtime in the cafeteria and was looking up at the flatscreen TV broadcasting some horror movie. Who needs a horror movie when your life is much more terrifying? She began to think that maybe that work was just not for her. She did not want to be branded as a loser who gave up on a challenge, but then she felt so defeated. She also wondered if it was worth it and what even her contribution to the company was and society.
She looked back at how happy she felt that Monday morning, and how there was no trace of that happy feeling anymore, and it was only Tuesday.
She then heard her phone beep. She looked at the notification and it was his message.
"Are you enjoying the show? We can watch a horror movie together this weekend."
She immediately looked around and saw him with the other executives. She had heard of him coming to the cafeteria before, but it was a rare occurrence. The other female species there could not take their eyes off of him, and they were probably like that ever since he entered. She then regretted being lost in her thoughts. She could have run away even before he could notice that she was sitting away from her team members. He would surely wonder why she is sitting away when some of her team members are in there. He would surely think something was wrong with her. But she should not care anymore about what others think. Especially not from someone like him.
He looked at her and smiled. That was so unfair. Even the rise of his cheekbones would already make her forget all the personal attacks her manager said to her just an hour ago, but the conversation in the restroom and the articles kept popping into her mind. She could not help but feel miserable and it briefly showed in her eyes. She regretted that as she saw the instant shift of worry in his eyes. She faked a smile, took away her tray, and left.
He messaged her right away asking her what was wrong. "I was just having a little stomachache. It's okay now." She replied.
He asked her multiple times to have dinner but she refused him every time. She told him that she had to do overtime and it was true and valid, but what he might find unacceptable was her short responses to his messages. She is positive that he will lose interest in her, and then she will just see an article eventually that he is with another woman. That reality will never change, and she must wake up from her sweet dream.
He went on another business trip, and she ignored ninety percent of his messages. A three-day holiday was ahead of them, and she researched online some things to do to help people think clearly. They mentioned forest baths, mountain climbing, and going to the beach. She did not have much money to travel to those areas, but luckily, the neighbor's association had an activity for a beach cleanup, which was perfect.
They went to do cleanup, but frankly speaking, it was more of a picnic because the elderly could not do much cleaning, so they just gathered at one corner and enjoyed the food and drinks they brought. She was the youngest and decided to just clean up in exchange for the delicious food that they gave to her.
Suddenly, a group also doing a cleanup talked to her. They were youngsters. She heard they were in their last year of high school and suddenly, she became their leader. She then remembered the advice she had gotten before to have three friends. One is older than her, the other is the same age, and the last is younger.
Upon talking to them, she felt warmth in her heart. They talked about their plans to conquer the world with such enthusiasm. She lost such feelings a long time ago when she faced the reality of working and just surviving. Being with them made her remember that there were also some things she wanted for herself and thinking about them always made her look forward to tomorrow.
At noon, they decided to create a sand sculpture, and she was so up to it. Having youngsters with a lot of energy made the work easier. They had decided to make a Kraken and the boys were so pumped about it. It was close to sunset when they finished and all of them, including the neighborhood association, took a picture next to their creation. She had a really wonderful time. She was smiling from ear to ear in the photograph. She was still looking at the photograph when her phone rang. It was him and, for some unknown reason, she just pressed the answer button.
"What are you doing?"
"I attended the neighborhood association beach cleanup event."
"How is it?"
"Nothing much aside from…"
"Aside from?"
"I made a sand sculpture with some kids. It looked pretty good."
"I want to see it."
"I have a photo."
She then realized how stupid that was. She only has one shared with her and that is where she has this stupid grin on her face. She had no choice but to send it. She did, and he was quiet on the other line.
"Are you still there?"
"You look so different when you smile."
"I do?"
"Upon looking at this photo, I really want to see you more."
She blushed and looked down at her feet covered with sand.
"Me too."
He started to laugh. His laugh was so contagious that she found herself laughing too.
"Can you turn on the video?"
"Uhh, I was exposed to the sun the whole day."
He suddenly turned on his video and she gasped. He looked like he was still in the gym and was sweaty, and her eyes focused on the sweat traveling down his neck. She swallowed, and she hoped that the sound was not caught. She thought that it was unfair if she did not turn on the video and so she painstakingly tapped on the video icon. He smiled brightly upon seeing her, and she felt like her heart was about to explode. He was just looking at her, and she felt uncomfortable because she did not even have any makeup left anymore.
"Where is that place?"
"Uhm… you are not planning to come here, right?"
"Oh, found it. Claytons."
"Huh? How?"
"There is a sign behind you."
She looked behind her where there was a surfing site sign and the name of the resort written in small letters below it that it was barely visible. She regretted standing in that spot.
"I am going back home with the neighborhood association."
"Tell them that you are going to stay."
"But!"
"You said you wanted to see me too. Stop being so hard on yourself and wait for me there. It will only take thirty minutes."
She looked behind her and had an eye-to-eye with one of the grannies.
"Just be careful on your way."
She ended the call.