"Are you sure you'll be fine, Harper?" Rachel's worried voice comes through the phone.
Harper wants to tell her the truth, but she knows about Rachel's upcoming schedule—the concerts, the shows, the endless promotional activities. She doesn't want to be a burden.
"I'm fine, but, you know, it's quite amazing now that he's gone," Harper says, masking her tone to sound happy.
"I'm still worried about you," Rachel says again.
"Don't be; I'm fine. You focus on your job; this is your dream. Show them your best, Rachel," Harper replies in a very positive tone.
"Of course! I can't believe I'm about to do a concert! It's a mini concert, but still." Rachel says it excitedly.
"Still, it's something you've dreamed of and have been working on. Go on, Rach, take the big stage. I'm also going to walk my own path. I'll be at sea more for the next year. I'm not going to be home or docking for long; I'll spend my time on the sea, looking for what I want," Harper says, her tone light but also serious.
"Will you text me?" Rachel asks softly.
"Of course, I'll text you whenever I can get a network connection. You know, there's no internet at sea, and it's expensive!" Harper says it animatedly, trying to mask the anxiety that's about to burst out.
"It's a promise," Rachel says.
"Yes, it's a promise. You need to go to sleep, Rach. It's late where you are," Harper says gently.
"Yes, I'm so tired today. I wanted to talk to you more, but I'm so sleepy," Rachel says, her voice softening with a small yawn.
"Sing for me until you fall asleep, Rach. I want to hear your voice, my baby Rachel," Harper says softly. Rachel almost chokes at the unexpected endearment.
"Uh, what?"
"You're always my little baby, Rachel. Why are you so surprised?" Harper laughs. "Sing to me, please."
Rachel pouts for a moment, but then she starts singing, her voice soothing and comforting. Harper mutes her phone, muffling the sound so Rachel can't hear her. She's on the brink of tears, desperate and surrounded by darkness, but Rachel's voice gives her a glimmer of solace, something to hold onto.
As the song drifts off into the silence, Harper takes a deep, shaky breath. She hangs up the phone and stares at her sister, who's been waiting; they're currently sitting in the lounge for a flight to Berlin.
"Done?" Dylan asks her sister.
"Yes."
"Just focus on your treatment; once you're better, you can go see her again." Dylan said softly.
Their mother can't find the words to say anything else. She is fully at fault for the way she has treated Harper, allowing their father to do anything he wanted to her. Abuse her and turn her into this mess.
Their mother admits that she loved their father so much that she didn't want to lose him. The only thing she could do to keep him around was to let him punish Harper, the only child in their lives that was not his own. He hated Harper with all his might, and the more Harper excelled, the more hateful he became towards her.
"She's your daughter! You gave birth to her!" Dylan had screamed at their mother two days ago.
"I love your father! I couldn't do anything to stop him, or he threatened to leave me!" She screamed back.
"But she's your daughter, for fuck's sake! Harper is still yours, blood and flesh!" Dylan's words seemed to have no effect on their mother.
"She's just a mistake that I have to endure all my life." And when Harper heard that, she just dropped to her knees, her eyes watering.
"I'm just a mistake you have to endure? That's all I am to you." Harper's voice cracked. "So, if I die, you'd feel nothing, right?"
Their mother couldn't utter a single word; she just cried harder. Losing the only man she loved with everything in her life, to the point where she sacrificed one of her daughters and called her a mistake.
"Finish your duty as a mother for my two younger siblings. If you can't, then I suggest you go die, old witch! I can take care of all of them on my own," Dylan said, her voice seething with disgust and wrath.
"Didi!" Dylan's youngest sister ran to her, trying to stop Dylan from saying more hurtful words. She might not have been a mother to Harper, but she was still a proper mother to the other two younger sisters.
That night, Dylan took Harper away from that house with her. "Some parents aren't fit to be parents. I'll only send money to them, but you should take care of yourself." And she left without turning back.
It takes every ounce of Harper's strength to be able to conceal her sadness and brokenness from Rachel, but she does an excellent job. Rachel suspects nothing.
A message comes from Sophia, asking if Harper is fine and telling her to be careful. Harper doesn't have any more energy; she just replies with a short message, expressing her gratitude.
Not long after, they hear their flight is being announced, and it's time for the two of them to go to Berlin so Harper can receive extensive care from a psychiatrist. Dylan will make sure Harper can live on her own again and no longer think about suicide.
From the outside, Harper just looks like a normal, beautiful young woman who's going through a hard moment because of her father's death. Little does anyone know that behind her beautiful and perfect facade lies a little girl who has never grown up, trapped in the persona of the happy Harper Wilson. That little girl is always locked in a black room, scared and alone, waiting for her father to pick her up, only to be beaten to death again.
It's a memory that keeps playing over and over again in Harper's world, and once all of that disappears, it leaves behind only a little girl with nothing. Lonely in her dark world, without hope.
Harper had her eyes closed the moment she sat in the business class, with Dylan seated next to her. But by the time the plane was already in the air and the seatbelt sign was turned off, she gently held Dylan's hand.
"Dylan, I'm not going to kill myself. But, can I get wasted tonight on this flight? Will you let me?" Harper pleaded.
"Okay" was the only word Dylan said to her sister. She smiled gently and said, "But I'll stop you when it's enough."
"Deal," Harper replied with a smile, and she called the flight attendant.
A beautiful woman with wavy dark hair approached them. "Hello, good evening, ladies. My name is Rose. How can I help you?"
"Rose, can you please get me something strong?" Harper asked the flight attendant.
"Strong enough to knock you out?" Rose asked softly.
"If that's possible, yes, please," Harper replied quickly.
"I'll be right back," Rose said with a smile, and she walked away.
Dylan was currently reading a book. "Is there any reason why you chose Thai Airlines and not another?" Harper asked her sister.
"They have good meals; Asian airlines are good with their food, and it's not as expensive as the European or Middle Eastern ones," Dylan answered in detail.
"Oh, you're meticulous," Harper laughed.
"I have to be; every euro is precious," Dylan replied seriously.
While Harper was laughing at her sister's response, Rose returned with a glass of brownish liquid. "This is a Sazerac, a mix of whiskey, absinthe, bitters, and an orange garnish. It's going to kick you right in the gut," she said playfully.
"Oh, I like you. Thanks," Harper said playfully.
"Fortunately, I'm engaged," Rose said, showing off the ring on her finger.
"Good for you!" Harper smiled. "Thanks again."
"I can make you another if this isn't enough to knock you out," Rose said with a smile and left.
The herbal and licorice-like flavors of the absinthe immediately tempered the rye whiskey's bold, spicy notes after the first sip. The peychaud's bitters added a hint of medicinal sweetness, giving the drink a unique depth of flavor.
"Holy sh*t, this is strong," Harper chuckled.
"That's one hell of a flight attendant," Dylan said, without looking up from her book. "Now you know why I chose this airline, right?"
Harper nodded, taking another sip of the potent Sazerac, determined to numb the pain, if only for a little while.