After leaving the pink woman in the meeting room, I realized I had to run away for a while.
The pink woman is too petty to forget this, so running is not going to solve anything, but if I can delay the punishment, I'm all for it.
So I decided to annoy Ayato. Yes, just like that, I'm going to annoy him. Even if from my point of view I saw him yesterday, talking about aunt Kayo' food made me hungry, and staying here is not an option.
So here we go!.
Luckily Ayato's house is very near the shrine, but maybe it's not luck. If he didn't live near I wouldn't go out of my way to visit him. But what I'm doing for sure is not going near the forest again.
I don't want to think more about that cursed man, because every time I think of it, I feel powerless, and I don't like the fact that while I'm happy there is someone out there suffering that much. As they say, out of sight out of mind.
Look, just by the time I have been thinking about some stupid thing, I'm already at the entrance of the Kamisato house, looking at the resigned faces of the guards. It's my duty as a member of the shrine, even as an unofficial one to greet the men and women who valiantly decide to protect us spoiled rich people.
"I greet you, Guard A and Guard B. Let it be known that in case you fall in battle protecting your noble masters I will deign myself to place a flower in your cold and humid grave" I said with the noblest tone of voice I could muster.
""...."" see?, the fact that they don't answer is because they acknowledge my disposition to honour their sacrifice.
One of them looked angry hearing me.
"Hah, you are new here right?" I asked the unknown face.
"Yes, and what you said is just too-".
"Hey rookie, better hold your tongue. He is from the shrine" the older guard told him. Yes, this guy is sensible. Why would the rookie look angry anyway?
"Yes, I can see his hakama, but even then-".
"Kenshin, go in. The madame told us that you are free to enter" another one looked at me and gestured at me to enter.
"Hmm, I can see you are a sensible one. May your arthritis be mild and your Alzheimer's slow". He looked to be getting into his older years, so desiring him a good health for his last years in this world after having dedicated his life to protecting a stranger was the least I could do.
"Mizuhiro-sama! Are you going to let this kid insult you? Even if he is from the shrine, he should not be allowe-"
"Nobuhiro, it's not that I fear the shrine. If I told them the kid would be reprimanded, but I feel that the kid is trying to wish the best for us, in his own weird and rude way. Also, be careful he doesn't hear you, he is known by other name".
"Wh-what name?".
"The Slapping Baby".
"I-It's h-him!? I thought it was a legend to scare us rookies".
As I approached the door to the main house I heard the guards saying something, but I couldn't care less. I already granted my blessings to them in the form of words, and that's all I'm willing to do for the day.
"Aunt Kayo! I came to play with Ayato!" I shouted just after entering. Even if I came to annoy the serious kid, I needed to say it nicely in front of aunt Kayo.
"I know, and so does the whole house" said the woman with long silver hair and blue eyes.
"Of course they do, I shouted for them to hear" silly aunt Kayo, you don't realize how much my mind is able to decipher the future.
Looking at her, there is something weird in her belly. It is very small, but is rounded and white-ish....Hmmm, it looks a bit like that baby I saw coming here receiving his blessing, just a little smaller. Oh, I see now.
"I'm sorry aunt Kayo, I wasn't aware that things were this bad. I know I'm still a kid, but surely you could have told me about it" I said, feeling sad that they didn't trust me.
"Wh-what are you talking about?" Aunt Kayo even has a confused look. Even now they are trying to hide it from me.
"No need to hide it from me, due to some accidents I can see it clearly" I said shaking my head.
"What are you talking about?" said a moody Ayato coming into the hall.
"Are you okay?" I asked Ayato, surely it must have affected him too, even if Aunt Kayo was so kind that she may have sacrificed her health so as to not worry Ayato.
"I was until I heard you screaming. How are you able to shout that loud?".
"Kenshin, what are you talking about?" Aunt Kayo said with a tired expression.
"I saw you have a baby in your belly" I confessed. Talking directly is the best, yeah.
"You truly are from the shrine, to think you could see it" I saw Aunt Kayo make a wry expression. "But why would that affect Ayato?"
"Well, if you are so hungry you would eat a baby, it makes sense Ayato can't eat well" I nodded sagely, amazed at the caring nature that allows me to pierce the fabric of the world.
"....." Aunt Kayo made a stunned face, followed by one of tiredness.
"Kenshin, ask your mother the reason why I have a baby in my belly. I will go to rest now, I'm not feeling good enough to deal with this".
"I agree" I added. She didn't look good.
"You do?" Aunt Kayo asked me with a resigned expression, maybe fearing what I was going to say.
Don't worry, I got you.
"Mom told me that after eating I should lie down for a bit while I'm digesting the food. And I guess a baby would have fought back, so please rest and let me take care of Ayato". I am truly magnanimous.
"*Sigh*" and with a sigh Aunt Kayo left the room, leaving with a resigned face.
"Are you stupid? That baby in her belly is my future sister!"
"Why are you so angry? If she is your sister why did Aunt Kayo eat her?"
"You moron, she will be born in 6 months!"
"You mean that babies come from the mother's belly?"
"Yes, and before you say it, no, it's not the same as your poop. You don't speak of other things!"
"Okay, you got me there. But then how did the baby reach that place?"
"I..don't know".
"Hmm, I will ask my mom. What were you doing?" if I wasn't going to get some answers, I don't care.
"I was trying to read a book about rituals."
"Why would you want to read that crap?" He is truly a bored kid worth annoying. Who reads that shit?
"That crap as you so rudely put it is the accumulated effort of generations upon generations of knowledge. Some rituals even came from the Great Narukami Shrine itself" he looked proud of that.
Dumb kid.
"Dumb kid, that's where I live. If you wanted something you could have just asked, I even participated in some cleansing rituals myself, even if was there only to sense how bad the curses were".
Everyone in the shrine knew I was able to detect curses somehow and even see the most serious ones, and that was before I got this weird thing when I could even see the pink woman's tails. Now I should probably be able to see the weaker curses as well.
"You would do that for me?". Why does he look so touched? I think it was pretty obvious at this point.
"If I don't come here how would I be able to taste Aunt Kayo's cookies. Think Ayato, think".
If Ayato gets too annoyed he won't let me enter his house so I have to appease him sometimes. The fact that I had to explain such a basic concept to him was beyond stupid.
"Ah, of course. How could I forget that". Why does he sound sarcastic?
"So, why were you reading that?"
"It's my mom, she has been unwell lately. And no, it's not that she wants to go to the toilet because of my sister".
"Dude, chill. Even I think of other things. How does that relate to rituals?"
"I wanted to find one that could make her feel better". I swear I will get stupid by being near this moron.
"What you need is a doctor, not a ritual. I swear, we have people coming every day to the shrine while they are ill to pray to get better soon. If they stood in their homes instead of climbing the honestly absurd amount of stairs they could have healed already". They are really stupid, do they even think the God of Inazuma will care about the fact that they have a snotty nose?
"We already went to a doctor, but he couldn't say what was wrong with her. This is the last thing I could do" he said with a teary expression.
"Let's do this, I will take a look at her, and I will tell you what I see. If I can't see anything wrong with her, probably no ritual will help you".
I can detect the problem but I don't know how to solve it, that's what the rituals are for.
"Really? What the hell! What happened to your eyes!!"
"You realize it now. You are really stupid".
"S-Shut up, it's dark in here".
"These eyes are the reason I'm confident in seeing what's wrong with Aunt Kayo. I'm probably the most qualified person in Inazuma to see curses, even if I can't dispel even the weakest one". Of course, the pink woman should be able to cleanse almost every curse. Almost.
"That's good then! Let's go to my mother."
And I didn't have time to even complain before finding myself in front of a displeased Kayo.
"Ayato, I told you that I needed to rest".
"But mom! Kenshin can see if there is something wrong with you!. He even got some freaky eyes!".
"While I don't think my eyes are freaky, that's true. Even the pink woman thinks that".
"And who is this pink woman?" asked wryly the sickly-looking person. Maybe she fears my immense wisdom.
"The woman with pink hair".
"I don't know any woman with pink hair" she said with the same wry expression.
"The shrine boss"
"Boss you say.....Please tell me you don't call Guuji-sama like that" she paled, now realizing who the pink woman was.
"Of course, I call her that. She has pink hair, so pink woman". I think it's quite obvious.
Aunt Kayo looked a bit dismayed hearing that, maybe fearing the pink woman's wrath, but I quickly reassured her.
"Don't worry, she doesn't care at all. She can get angry sometimes, but she loses interest really quickly. In fact I came this time because I made her angry".
"What did you do that you had to leave?". Now Ayato is asking another stupid question. It doesn't matter what I did, but when will I be able to go back. Haah, this kid, you need to give it to him with very easy words.
"I interrupted a meeting with another woman about the festival next month. In fact I thought Aunt Kayo was her meeting partner, I know your family manages all those parties and all that".
"We indeed manage 'parties', but the festival next month is something from the shogunate. Oh! Please Kenshin, I know you like to have fun and joke around, but tell me you didn't say anything offensive to the woman that was in the meeting". Why does she look so desperate?
"I didn't" and I see Aunt Kayo's face relaxing. So she was worried about me? That's nice of her, I will reassure her even more. "Who do you take me for?"
Why is she anxious again?
"Please Kenshin, tell me what did you say. Maybe if the Kamisato clan pleads for your innocence you may be allowed to live".
"What are you saying Aunt Kayo? Everyone that wants a piece of Kenshin can come to get it. I will even tell them where I am". And I pat my chest to show my braveness. I look majestic right now.
"The same kid who can't get to the shrine in a single trip without getting cramps?" Onore Ayato, making me remember my only weakness.
"Kenshin, what did you tell her?"
"Relax, Aunt Kayo. I just told the purple woman that I wanted how to cleanse curses from the pink woman"
"That's goo-".
"And that she is not very bright, and then I patted her head".
".....".
"Now that I think of it, I think I saw that purple woman somewhere before....". It bugs me a lot, this feeling of familiarity with a woman I haven't seen before. At least I think so.
"You probably have" said Aunt Kayo with a wry smile. "Have you been to the Shogun's castle?".
"No, why would I? I have enough of those stiff and boring people every time they come to the shrine to start yapping about some complicated stuff. Uh, so the purple woman is from the shogunate then?"
"Yes, she is" was all Aunt Kayo said.
"Well, she is not as important as the pink woman. The pink woman is the second most important person in Inazuma right?".
"Yes, she is" replied aunt Kayo with a nod.
"Then the purple woman must be a paper-pusher. No worries then". I am under the protection of the pink woman, so only the so-called Shogun can make me disappear.
Aunt Kayo only had a forced smile. Ah, now I remember what I came here for. No need to ask, I will just look at her, sometimes is better to say sorry than ask for permission.
Hmm, I need to see more people to accurately say what's wrong, but she looks mostly fine. There is a darker part though. Maybe that's the problem.
"I 'watched' you right now. There is a darkening part in your soul, but it doesn't look to be caused by a curse. Maybe is a health problem, and your soul is deteriorating because of that" I decided to see what I saw.
"...." Aunt Kayo looked resigned.
"Aunt Kayo, you know something right?" the smart Kenshin is not going to miss anything!
"Mom?" Ayato looked scared at his mother. He's stupid, but not that much to miss that something smells fishy here.
"It's an illness that runs in my family. Now please leave me to rest" she curtly said.
"What can I do?" asked a nervous Ayato once we were outside and alone.
"Why don't we go to the library?. If it's an illness that runs in the family, there should be some information somewhere". That's what I think at least.
"Yes!. That's right!". It's nice to see Ayato excited but does he have to shout?. There are people with sensitive ears, I dislike people who just shout without reason. They are truly the scourge of Inazuma.
But didn't find anything, not a single mention in any book.
"In the end, the only thing we found is that your ancestor started puking worms, and only with the help of an Adeptus did he get better". I would probably choke out of disgust.
"Where are the Adeptus? Maybe they can find a way to heal my mom" Ayato asked me with teary eyes.
"In Liyue".
"How much do I need to walk to arrive at Liyue?".
"...." how can I explain it in terms he understands.
"Ayato, Inazuma is an insular state. That means that we live in an island". Slow and steady.
"I know that! What does it have to do with healing my mom?" I guess he's too worried to think calmly. I will forgive him for this time.
"Liyue is on the main continent. And we live on an island. Why don't you tell me how much time do you need?"
He had the decency of looking embarrassed.
"But don't worry! This magnificent Kenshin has an idea. The pink woman knows people in Liyue and by the letters I accidentally, believe me, it was an accident, found that one of those people is a friend. Knowing that the pink woman is not human, probably her friend is an Adeptus, the equivalent of youkai there".
"So you can try to convince her to let us contact her adeptus friend to heal my mom!" Ayato looked excited, finally seeing a little light in his messed-up situation. "Wait Guuji-sama is not human?"
"Ayato, I'm worried you will forget how to breathe. She has been around for hundreds of years, do you think she is human?"
"I don't know. A lot of people don't even know what she looks like".
"Whatever, it's not important. I know her friend's name is Ganyu, and the pink woman always gives her some herbs from Inazuma as a present. So here is the plan, you help me collect a lot of herbs, and I go to Liyue to convince her to help us". A perfect plan if I say so myself. No gaps or chance of failure. No variables or unexpected things can mess up my plan. Why am I so talented?
"You are so stupid". It's infuriating to see Ayato's disgusted face looking at me.
But, I am the bigger person here. It's my duty to explain to him the greatness of my plan.
"Ayato, I told you and your mother that I interrupted a very important meeting the pink woman was in. What do you think will happen to me when I get back?"
"You will be punished?"
"Yes, but to a degree you can't even imagine. I was tasked with cleaning the main hall of the shrine for a week because I wrote mean phrases in the fortune slips. What do you think she is going to make me do now?"
"Why are you acting like a week of cleaning is that bad?. Even I clean my room and help in the house? Just to know what did you write?" Aha, even the serious Ayato can't keep his curiosity contained.
"I wrote, if you spit upwards you will have a chance to lick your idol's feet".
"What the hell is that!? That's disgusting!"
"I know! Don't look at me like that! I needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and saw 2 hiding random guys doing it near the shrine. Believe me, I didn't sleep for a week" I still have shivers remembering that. I was frozen seeing that, but when they started kissing afterward I left the scene feeling nauseous. Why would you want to lick a stinky fee- Blergh. I want to puke now.
"And why did you write tha-. What the hell Kenshin?!"
"Bleeergh" and I puked.
"Haaah, now I feel better. Nothing like a good puke to relieve yourself of all nauseous thoughts".
"You are too weird and disturbing" Ayato looked at me with a face that said how incomprehensible the scene in front of him was.
"You know what's disturbing? A lot of people started spitting upwards, blinding them after the spit came down. It was a mess, a lot of blind people going around hitting each other. The shrine is on top of a mountain, so one of them didn't see where was he walking to and fell down, breaking his leg".
That was the moment I realized that humanity has no future.
"...." Ayato looked too shocked to answer. I can't blame him.
"So, the pink woman caught me and told me to clean for a week. That evil woman".
"No, if you ask me a week of cleaning was too little". The pampered kid was muttering something, but I needed to execute the plan now.
"Anyway, I don't want to go back so I will leave this afternoon". That's decided. Hmm, it's a good plan.
"I still think you are stupid, but I will help you. What are you going to do with the ship?".
"Ayato, don't be stupid, I will walk to Liyue" I mocked him.
"Forget that please!".
"The ship's easy. I look like a noble, and I'm wearing the shrine outfit, some ship will take me to Liyue if I tell them I have a mission from the pink woman. People around fear her a lot". How can they fear that woman? She is nice.
Except when she is not.
"I give up thinking, tell me what do I need to do" he sighed.
"That's the smartest thing you said in the whole day. We go collect herbs and you send a letter to the shrine. You just tell a generic miko that I gave it to you, and it's for the pink woman. Don't worry, they won't blame you".
"Are you sure? I don't want to get my family in trouble". He looked worried for his family. That's nice, but if he gets cold feet now I'm screwed.
"Yes, don't worry. Even if your family was in trouble, you need to heal your mom right?"
"Y-Yes, I think so" he nodded but was still hesitating. But I don't care.
"Then let's go".