The true conclusion of Route X
"What do you mean, Ma'am's gone?!"
Furious, Charlie grabbed my shirtfront. Her blond hair was disheveled, and her sharp, angry eyes drilled into me.
"…It's just like I said." I didn't try to resist. I simply told her the facts. "Siesta left a letter saying she won't be coming back to us."
I thought back to yesterday morning. The moment I woke up, I'd realized Siesta wasn't lying next to me. Instead, there was a letter on the desk. It consisted of her usual banter, a simple thank-you for everything, and a goodbye.
Even though she'd spent day after day sleeping like a log until evening, when she vanished, it happened in the blink of an eye. I'd found a familiar musket leaning against the wall beside the bed. It was as if she was saying she wouldn't need it anymore.
Siesta's letter hadn't mentioned the most important thing: her reasons for leaving. …No, technically, there had been something like that. She'd said since she was retiring as the Ace Detective and becoming a regular detective again, she was planning to do some solo traveling. I'd grown enough as an assistant, so she wanted me to support Natsunagi, who would be the new Ace Detective someday. The things she'd said were sound, difficult to argue with, and that was why I instinctively felt they weren't true. It wasn't just my gut; it was experience. The three years I'd spent with her were telling me so.
However, it was an undeniable fact that Siesta was no longer nearby. I'd returned to Japan before the day was up, taking only her musket with me, and today I'd gathered Charlie and the others so I could report the situation.
"—So you just looked at that letter and shuffled back home by yourself, when you didn't even understand what Ma'am really wanted? Then you haven't changed at all in the past year, Kimizuka!"
"Please calm down, Charlie!" A girl came between us, attempting to
mediate. "Kimizuka, tell us one more time. Did Siesta really leave you…? Leave us?"
Saikawa turned her wavering eyes on me. We were in a certain room of her mansion.
"You're walking again. That's great."
Saikawa had been in a wheelchair until just the other day, but now she was standing firmly on her own two feet.
"Don't try to change the subject. Never mind me. About Siesta…" Saikawa put a little anger into her words, most likely gearing up to scold me…but then she didn't. "Kimizuka, you look terrible."
"Ha-ha. You're insulting me now?"
"You don't need to force yourself to joke. Please sit down." Saikawa motioned for me to have a seat.
"…Come to think of it, there were vague signs hinting this would happen." Lowering myself weakly into the chair, I told them about the things I'd thought on the way here. About how what Siesta had said and done lately had seemed a little off somehow.
For example, even though she'd come back to life, she kept saying things like "There's no time." She might have meant something besides needing to defeat Seed quickly or wake up Natsunagi.
Then, although she'd been expressing her anxieties to me, Siesta had taken me to a distant country, had put me in contact with new Tuners, invited me to musicals, and started reminiscing… I'd experienced a similar contradiction between her words and her actions a year ago, too.
Most of all, she'd stepped down from her position and nominated Natsunagi as the new Ace Detective. She'd said that even if she didn't hold that title anymore, she'd keep working as an ordinary detective; however, if this was how things stood, her retirement took on a different meaning.
"Siesta might be—"
" ! That can't be right!" After she'd heard me out, Charlie looked down
and screamed. "Ma'am really came back to life! We finally defeated Seed! Nagisa will wake up after this, and then we'll finally make it to that happy ending you were talking about, you know?! And now Ma'am… Ma'am disappears again, all by herself ?! That can't be…!"
"Your deduction may be correct, Kimihiko."
Just then, someone else came in. It was Noches, the former maid-type
SIESTA; she'd had business to take care of, and she apologized for being late. Then she began to relate a story that seemed to reinforce my theory. "As Charlotte says, the primordial seed has been destroyed. However, the fragments of his seed are still here—Including inside Mistress Siesta's chest."
…She was right. Saikawa, Natsunagi, and I had all had our seeds extracted during that battle with Seed the other day, but Siesta's was still in her heart. Up until now, she'd benefited from the power it gave her, fighting the enemies of the world using physical abilities no average person had.
"However, those seeds are double-edged swords. As nourishment, they take the sight or hearing, or part of the life, from anyone who ingests one. And eventually—"
"Wait!" Saikawa hastily cut Noches off. "We know the rest. Albert told us what happens to humans who've been eroded by a seed. But Siesta was originally Seed's candidate vessel, wasn't she? Then—"
"…I see. So Siesta wasn't fully compatible," I said. Noches nodded quietly.
Before Siesta and Mia plotted to deceive Seed, the sacred text had originally foretold a future in which Siesta lost to Hel. That told us one thing: As a vessel for the primordial seed, Hel had been a little better than Siesta.
"As the sole fully compatible host for the primordial seed, Nagisa Natsunagi might have—"
A remark Stephen the Inventor had made in passing a week ago ran through my mind. Natsunagi had been the one best suited to be Seed's vessel, while Siesta's body was doomed to be eaten away by the seed in her heart—
"Don't tell me Ma'am is…" Charlie cut to the heart of it.
"Is she trying to disappear before she turns into a monster?"
People whose bodies were completely devoured by their seeds degraded. Like Chameleon, who'd lost control when we fought him on the cruise ship, or Betelgeuse, who'd been created as a biological weapon to begin with. That was how those who were controlled by the seeds ended up.
Siesta had known it would happen to her one day, and so she'd left us before she ran out of time.
"Wait just a minute. If Ma'am knows she'll become a monster someday…
If it's true…"
She didn't have to say what Siesta would do. Before that could happen, she'd—
"...!"
Charlie bolted for the door. "Where are you going?"
"You have to ask?! I'm going to find Ma'am!"
"She's—!" I'd shouted, although I hadn't meant to, and Charlie's shoulders jumped. "She understood all of that, and she chose to do this."
"But even so! Just because she knows she'll become a monster someday,
suicide isn't the—!"
"Not that," I said to Charlie but kept my eyes fixed on the floor. "Siesta knows how much we cared about her and how happy it made us to see her again. And knowing all of that, she still chose this."
"...!"
That meant we were dealing with an entirely different situation now.
True, we'd brought Siesta back by superseding her will and her intentions. However, Siesta knew about our feelings this time. On top of that, she'd decided that this was the only way and had distanced herself from us. We couldn't just ignore her silent wish.
"It's all right. For now, calm down." My hand felt something warm.
"Your hands squeeze. Your shoulders roll. Your breathing is rhythmic. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, then exhale. Your blood circulates. When you open your eyes, your cloudy vision will be clear."
It was Saikawa's usual charm. My hand hung limply, and she took it gently. "Siesta has made her decision. Now it's your turn to choose, Kimizuka."
She'd removed her eye patch, and the eyes she fixed on me were two different colors.
"…It's still okay for me to choose?"
"Of course. It's your life, after all." For some reason, Saikawa's smile seemed ready to dissolve into tears.
Still, considering the fact that my ego had created this situation, I couldn't answer so easily.
"We were always like this, weren't we?" Charlie looked away, murmuring
sadly. "In battle we'd argue, and so of course we'd fail, and then we'd get along worse and do the whole thing over again."
She was right. Every time that happened, Siesta would scold us, sighing and asking if we were stupid. Even so, in the end, she'd smile and point us in the right direction. …But Siesta wasn't here anymore. All because of my selfish wish.
"Sorry, Charlotte."
The one who'd pointed us toward tomorrow was no longer—
"We still have a detective!" Angrily, or possibly through tears, Charlie stomped over to me. Setting her hands on my shoulders, she shouted, "We have another friend who's a detective! She said so herself that day. She said she was the ace detective who'd inherited Ma'am's last wish!"
What I'd seen on that cruise ship flashed through my mind. At the time, Charlie had adamantly refused to acknowledge Natsunagi as the ace detective. She'd thought she was the most suitable one to inherit Siesta's last wish.
Just now, though, Charlie had entrusted it to her. She'd entrusted our future
—Siesta's future—to the other ace detective. The one who was still asleep. "Kimihiko," Noches called. She was holding a car key.
Would I find the answer in the place where Natsunagi slept? Wouldn't we just come up against another harsh reality—? I didn't know.
"If you don't know, then let's go."
Noches, whose consciousness had once been housed in Siesta's body, spoke to me over her shoulder. I sensed the shadow of the ace detective in her, and before I knew it, I'd stepped forward.
Client and proxy detective
When I opened the door of the hospital room, the girl was lying on the bed, just as she had been before.
"I'm back," I told her, gazing at her sleeping face.
It had been two weeks since the final battle with Seed, and Nagisa Natsunagi still showed no sign of waking.
"I guess it wasn't going to be this convenient, huh…?"
Saikawa and Charlie had encouraged me to come here, but Natsunagi still
hadn't awakened. No miracles had occurred. Even so, I wanted to talk to her about this, so I sat down in a nearby chair.
It had been four days since my last visit. I had come to this hospital room several times before I left for New York, and during those visits, I'd scolded her a lot. She'd tried to sacrifice herself in Siesta's place, and as her assistant, I—and no one else—had to yell at her for it.
"Do you get it, Natsunagi?"
Looking at her still face made me think of it again, and I couldn't help but complain to her. I said I wanted to revive Siesta, but you know it's not okay for you to be gone instead.
My anger didn't faze her, though. Natsunagi kept on sleeping and breathing peacefully.
"…Natsunagi, what do you think I should do?"
A sigh escaped me. The red ribbon beside her pillow caught my eye.
Siesta had come back to life, and in her place, Natsunagi had died. Even so, Natsunagi had inherited Alicia's and Hel's lives and wills and returned to us once—but now here she was again, asleep. Meanwhile, Siesta had left us and was probably attempting to disappear from the world entirely.
"What is it with you people?"
Why did they play with my heart like this? Why make me worry?
Why couldn't they both just stay safe? Why couldn't they just smile and be well and happy?
You ace detectives are always—
"—No, I know. I know I'm in the wrong here."
The whole reason Natsunagi had ended up like this was because I'd misjudged her determination. I'd wanted to bring Siesta back to life no matter what it would have cost me, and Natsunagi had wanted the exact same thing…and yet…
Then there was Siesta. She'd had that seed inside her, but I hadn't thought about what that might mean for her. I'd brought her back to life due to my own selfish thoughts, and this was the result. She was trying to disappear before she could turn into a monster.
"Just two weeks."
That was the amount of time I'd managed to spend with her. Even then, we'd hardly gotten to talk during the first week, since we'd spent it in the hospital recovering after our fight with Seed. Ultimately, what I'd gained
from sacrificing all those things was a few days' worth of memories to ease my regrets and the sorrow of a second parting.
"What should I do, Natsunagi?"
I knew she wouldn't answer, but I asked again anyway. I'd been able to tell Siesta things I hadn't managed to tell her before, and she'd accepted my feelings…but she still chose to leave us.
Saikawa had told me that if that was Siesta's choice, it was fine for me to make choices of my own. …But was it really? Not that I thought Saikawa's advice was wrong, but…
I was just hesitant to second-guess Siesta again. Sure, I'd stuck to my guns and superseded her intentions once. But if this was the result, I had to admit it, no matter how reluctantly: Her call had been better than mine.
"I guess I've already got my answer, don't I?"
The mental back-and-forth I'd just had with myself helped everything fall into place. I'd been wrong, and Siesta had been right. I didn't even have to think about it. During those three years, not once had she been wrong.
…But on the day Siesta died a year ago, I'd had a thought. I wasn't proud of it; just this time, I'd wanted her to have been mistaken. Of course, that had been childish. I didn't need anybody to tell me that.
"—But I still want Siesta to live…!"
I knew full well that it was a mistake, that my wish was pure arrogance. It was as clear as it could be, but I couldn't think of any way to make it happen now. I bit my lip. My nails dug into my palms. There was still nothing we could do about the current situation, and my vision went black.
"…What should I do, Ace Detective?"
If biting my lip wasn't going to change anything, I needed to at least ask the question.
That's right. I'd been devastated before I came here, but Charlie had told me off for it and encouraged me. She'd said if I couldn't find the answer, I should rely on the other ace detective.
That's why I was clinging to her, even though I knew I wasn't right. If digging my fingernails into my palms wouldn't change anything, then at least
—
"Please, Ace Detective. Save Siesta."
Releasing my clenched, rigid fists, I squeezed Natsunagi's left hand.
"If you'll settle for a proxy detective, I'll take the job."
Out of nowhere, I heard a familiar voice.
It sounded like the exchange we'd had that one time, in that classroom bathed in the light from the sunset.
Actually, maybe I'd been the one who'd said it or something like it. The hand I was holding squeezed mine back.
"You held my hand like this before, didn't you?"
When I lifted my head, the girl was gazing at me. She smiled with relief.
Those words reminded me of another day. I'd held her hand that night in the hospital, over a year ago, when she still looked like Alicia.
"Natsu…nagi…?" My voice was hoarse, but I managed to say her name somehow.
Looking up at me from the bed, Natsunagi gave a wry smile. "You sure are dumb, Kimizuka."
Slowly releasing my hand, she flicked my forehead with her middle finger. "Don't visit me in the hospital, then spend the whole time talking about some other girl."