...Without wasting a moment, I rushed to my room, my heart pounding so violently that I could hardly breathe. In my haste, I nearly stumbled several times, my bare feet slipping on the floor. With each step, the anxiety grew, and I felt my legs giving way. I climbed the stairs so quickly that I banged my toe against a step, letting out a short cry of pain and breaking a nail in the process. The pain was intense, but the urgency of the situation kept me from stopping.When I reached my room, I flung the door open with a sharp movement, almost frantically. My eyes scanned the room for Naboru, but before seeing him, I already knew what I had to do. I hurried to the corner of the room where the cat-o'-nine-tails was stored, the instrument of torture my master used to punish me. The steel claws at the ends of the straps still glistened with my blood in the dim light of my poor room. With a tight throat, I took the instrument with exaggerated reverence, my fingers gripping it so tightly that the blood stopped circulating.I then bowed to Naboru, holding the cat-o'-nine-tails in my hands like a sacred and cursed object. My mind was a whirlwind of confusion and fear, but I had to remain strong. I approached him and then knelt with total submission.With my arms extended above my head, I presented him the instrument of punishment, my head bowed in deference.
"Mr. Naboru, I... I'M SORRY, I'm really sorry! Please, please forgive me! I don't know what I did, but... but I apologize! Really, I'm just a fool, A POOR FOOL! I deserve only your anger, your punishment. Destroy me, TORTURE ME, do whatever you want, I deserve it, I know! But please, I beg you, forgive me! I'm sorry, I don't know what I did, I'm REALLY SORRY!..."
I took a deep breath to try to calm myself, in vain.
"If only... if only you could tell me what I did, so I never do it again, NEVER AGAIN! I beg you, have mercy on me! I'm sorry, so sorry! I'm just a fool, A WORTHLESS FOOL, I deserve everything you decide to inflict on me. But please, explain to me what I did so I never do it again, never again! I'M SORRY, MR. NABORU, FORGIVE ME! I beg you, I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to disappoint you, I didn't mean to do wrong! I'll do whatever you ask, anything! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Please, please, forgive me! I don't know what I did, but I won't do it again, I promise, I PROMISE! I beg you, don't reject me, don't punish me too severely! I-"
Suddenly, Naboru grabbed the cat-o'-nine-tails and threw it violently against the wall. Before I could react, he grabbed my collar and lifted me up, bringing me face to face with him. His expression was both terrifying and heartbreaking: his eyes were wide open, fixed on me with an intensity that spoke of deep trauma. Tears streamed continuously down his cheeks, and his teeth were clenched so tightly that his jaws seemed ready to break. His face was pale, almost livid, and his dilated pupils reflected an unfathomable fear and pain. He trembled from head to toe, every fiber of his being vibrating with an almost palpable intensity. His gaze was both lost and pleading, as if he were desperately seeking an escape from an invisible but crushing suffering. His lips were parted, releasing ragged breaths, testifying to the extent of his inner torment. I could see in his eyes all the terror and despair consuming him. It was as if all the pain, anger, and frustration he felt were concentrated in that moment, pouring over me with relentless force. His face, despite his traumatized expression, remained strangely fixed, his features drawn by an emotion too strong to be contained.Suddenly, Naboru released me, and I fell to my knees. He collapsed to the floor, his hands gripping his head, pulling his hair with almost desperate intensity. His body curled up, taking on a terrifying and vulnerable posture. His eyes, once so cold and calculating, were now wide with panic, his pupils dilated like those of a hunted animal. He repeated over and over, almost like a mantra,
"Forgive me, forgive me, Ume. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I caught... Lysandros... he tried to hang himself. Because of me. It's all my fault. I didn't manipulate him as I should have. Now, everything is worse. It's all going to fall on you, Ume. He's going to go mad... he's going to hurt you. It's my fault... it's my fault…"
His words were interrupted by sobs, his voice trembling and broken. He rocked back and forth, curling up even more, his fingers digging into his scalp as if trying to tear the pain from his own head.
"I shouldn't have... I thought I could control everything... But I'm a failure. A failure. And now, you're going to pay the price. He's going to go mad, Ume. He's going to destroy you. It's my fault. All this suffering... it's because of me. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm so sorry... so sorry…"
Each word he spoke seemed to plunge him deeper into the abyss of his own despair. He almost rolled into a ball, his body shaken by uncontrollable tremors, his tears flooding the floor. His breathing was ragged, gasping, as if he were suffocating under the weight of his own guilt.
"I wanted to fix everything... I wanted everything to be perfect... But I ruined it all. Now, you're the one who's going to suffer. Because of me. Because of my mistakes. I'm sorry, Ume. So sorry…"
The scene was unbearable to watch. Seeing Naboru, usually so in control, reduced to this state of terror and guilt, chilled me to the bone. I understood then the gravity of the situation and the fragility of our position.
"Ume, I don't know how-". But before he could continue, something within me decided. Without knowing why, I gently bent down and, in an instinctive and comforting gesture, kissed him on the forehead.
"Naboru,"
I murmured softly,
"it's okay. I understand. I will endure what needs to be, but I don't blame you. We will overcome this together."
I continued to murmur soothing words, my tone becoming softer and more reassuring.
"You did what you could. We are all vulnerable, and sometimes things don't go as planned. But we're still here. We still have a chance to make things right. You're not alone, Naboru. I'm here."
I gently stroked his hair, trying to calm the tremors shaking his body.
"We'll find a solution, okay? You're not responsible for all this. It's a difficult situation, but we'll get through it together. I promise you."
Naboru seemed to gradually relax under my words, his sobs becoming less violent. He was still breathing heavily, but I could feel that the worst of his panic was starting to subside. I stayed close to him, continuing to reassure him, promising that we would find a way to overcome this ordeal.
"I'm here, Naboru. And I won't let you down. We'll find a way to fix everything, together."
☆*: .｡.Naboru.｡.: *☆
I slowly got up, my legs still trembling, and looked Ume in the eyes. She smiled at me with a loving look, but I could see the distress she was trying to hide. She was incredibly strong, much more than I had imagined. As she started to head towards the kitchen, I gently stopped her by placing a hand on her arm.
"Ume,"
I said softly, but firmly.
"Tonight, you won't cook. You'll stay in your room and rest. You've earned it."
She opened her mouth to protest, but I raised a hand to interrupt her.
"Listen, I... I want to apologize. For everything. I know this is hard for you. Tonight, rest. It's my way of showing you that I'm sorry."
She slowly nodded, still fighting her tears. I tried to offer her a reassuring smile, though I knew it could never make up for everything she had endured.
"I'll take care of everything. I want you to take this time for yourself, okay?"
Ume nodded, her eyes shining with contained emotion. She then turned towards her room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. The road ahead would be difficult, but with Ume by my side, I felt we could overcome anything.I left Ume's room, leaving behind the heavy atmosphere of the recent exchange. My thoughts were in a whirl, but I knew I had to stay focused. I walked towards Lysandros' room, each step echoing in the oppressive silence of the manor. Arriving at his door, I knocked gently, then entered without waiting for an answer...