In all the months since I had been trapped in this little private hospital and pretty much confined to this room and the courtyard below, I had not seen Mr Jun or had the chance to talk to anybody other than my reticent elderly carer. I had no news of the outside world.
"They are doing well," Mr Jun sat me on the bed and sat beside me, hugging me to him with one arm while I remained stiff. He didn't seem to feel my non-verbal rejection of him. "Sihao has managed to stabilise the company. I have to send him some supplements and some advice to get more sleep. I feel he hasn't been looking too well lately. Siming has been studying hard," Mr Jun said in a proud voice. "With you by my side, it has finally given him the motivation. His grades are improving and Sihao has begun teaching him about the business. He has arranged for Siming to start working in the company from the bottom. I'm very satisfied with how both boys are doing."
Mr Jun stroked my hair.
"Now that you are in the second trimester, it should be safe for us to resume bed activities. I wish to train you well. I am very satisfied with your behaviour now, Yina. Why couldn't you have behaved yourself from the beginning? It would have saved both of us a lot of pain and trouble. Look at the fuss you caused. Because of you, so many people died. It's your fault, you know. If you had just been obedient and not asked so many questions or been so stubborn, we'd be having our harmonious family life. How nice would that be?"
I didn't reply.
"I heard that you're planning to return to the university next year. I thought I told you to drop out? Naughty girl. It's a pity. You're half a daughter to me. I've done so much for you but you never knew. I suppose you wouldn't, since no one has ever told you. Did my sons ever tell you what I did for you when you were small?"
I gave a jerky nod.
"And you have no gratitude? Have I raised a white eyed wolf?"
Mr Jun laid me down on the bed and gently undressed me, looking pleased when my initial resistance faded away into surrender.
"Since you're determined to study no matter what I say, I'll arrange for your university to postpone your studies yet another year. And if they won't, I'll arrange for you to have a tutor. When you finally give birth to a son for me and I let you go, you can do an exam and reapply for your university course if needed. I'm willing to be the bad guy, so that you can say that you stopped due to circumstances beyond your control. After all, I have kidnapped you from my sons."
Maybe because of my silent surrender or maybe because he didn't want to hurt the baby, Mr Jun was extremely gentle, ensuring I felt as much pleasure as he did.
"I'm very gratified by the attitude of both my sons and how protective they are of you. They both seem to love you very much. Well done, my little girl. As expected of the child I raised to be their bride."
Mr Jun visited me every few days to keep me company. He was always very patient and kind to me, but I found time in his presence draining. I'd often be unwell for a day or so after his visits. In the end, the doctor stopped him from coming altogether.
It was a never ending pregnancy. A painful, tortuous one.
Around the time I was due, I was given general anaesthetic and the baby was removed via caesarean section. When I came to, I was allowed to hold the baby but I wasn't allowed to feed the baby. I saw the baby only briefly. I didn't even get to name her.
The paternity test proved she was Mr Jun's. She was taken away after that and Mr Jun sent word that he was raising the child and had named her Mengna, reminiscent of my name. Let it be a gift for the child. He said she was very cute and that he was pleased with my hard work.
The elderly lady caring for me continued to ensure I recovered and healed well.
When my wound had healed and no longer hurt, the elderly lady brought me on daily visits to the house Mr Jun was now living in. I'd be brought in while I was asleep, wake up to Mr Jun having his way with me and then be carried away again while I slept again.
My urine was tested every week to see if I had gotten pregnant again.
After three months, when I was still not pregnant, Mr Jun had me live in the house with him for a few days. He allowed me to see my baby Mengna and had a special sound proof room with a one way window built. And in that room, he tortured me day and night while I could watch my baby being cared for by other people. Where I could see but not touch. Where my heart would ache but I would be powerless to reach out.
Mr Jun thought up various ways to have fun with me, forcing me to do as he demanded. Sometimes, when he thought of the past and what he had lost, he would punish me until I begged for mercy. He liked it when I begged for mercy. Because then I would be desperate enough to do anything to please him.
And when he was pleased or in a good mood, he would pleasure me until I begged for mercy some more.
"I don't think I want to give you back to my boys," Mr Jun sighed one evening while he was slowly thrusting in a ponderous manner. "I've trained you into the perfect doll for me," he sighed again. "You're beautiful and perfect when you're like this, you know."
I had cut off all of my feelings. I had hardened my heart into a frozen lake of ice. I was just his baby making doll until he chose to let me go.
A positive pregnancy test sent him into a flurry of excitement. A blood test and it was confirmed that I was pregnant.
For some reason, I barely remembered this pregnancy. I only remembered that when we discovered the gender was a boy that I was able to relax. I fell sick. So sick that I almost lost the child. I almost died myself.
When I woke up again, my wounds were healed, I'd been dressed well in a branded dress and left as a wrapped up gift on Jun Sihao's bed.
Jun Sihao had returned late that night. He was drunk. I could smell the alcohol on him. He had staggered into the shower and showered in the moonlight. After his shower, he hadn't put on any clothes. Just dropped on top of me on the bed.
During the night, his hands had begun to roam. I had missed him. Missed him so much. My kisses had been met with fervent drunken ones while he had called my name in desperation, pressing himself into me as if he wanted to make me a part of his body. He had me all night and I had participated as much as I could, feeling safe and happy to be in his arms again.
In the morning, I had been woken to a low shout of surprise that had brought Siming running into the room. When he had seen me in Sihao's bed, he had fallen over. Then he had scrambled to his feet and pounced on me, showering me with kisses and tears. Sihao had been much the same.
Somehow the welcome back hugs and kisses had devolved into something else that continued the whole day, despite the phones ringing constantly. It was as if the boys hadn't heard them.
It was only when someone pounded on the door in the late afternoon that the boys seemed to have woken up and realised what they had done. They both seemed at once chagrined and elated.
Sihao went to answer the door and then returned looking embarrassed. Apparently, we'd been making too much noise for the neighbours.
I was too tired to move and the boys refused to let me up. Instead, they carried me to the bathroom and almost reverently washed me clean. Not that it stopped them from getting excited again and going a few more rounds with me again, leading to us all needing to be cleaned up again.
Sihao arranged for us all to have a holiday trip and to get away for a bit about a month later. Just the three of us. There, they got my version of the story out from me properly and were confused that I couldn't remember so much of it. It made them furious with their father, who replied to their angry emails that I had gotten severely depressed. He had sent me back to them in order to preserve my life.
So that was why there were so many holes in my memory. Indeed, some days went by and I had no clue what had happened. Especially before we had come out on holiday. Often I was still sitting where the boys had left me in the morning, staring out the window, thinking of nothing.
During the holiday, Mr Jun had appeared with my babies. My little princess was now two years old. Her brother was just starting to learn how to walk.
"Mengmeng," Mr Jun coaxed the little princess. "Greet your older brothers and mother."
"Good morning, Mummy," my little princess had hugged me. And then still hugging me, she mumbled, "Good morning, Eldest Brother. Second Brother. Mummy, why you run away so long?" she pouted at me. "You should come home. Only bad children run away from home. Mummy isn't a bad girl, is she?"
I didn't dare to look at Mr Jun, knowing he must have had a smug smile on his face. I stared silently at my little girl and rubbed her cheeks. I stroked her soft hair and she nuzzled into my arms like she had always belonged there. Mr Jun put my lively little boy into my arms and after a while, he yawned, putting his head down on my shoulder to sleep.
Jun Sihao and Jun Siming had strange expressions on their faces.
"I've been telling everyone that these are my grandchildren," Mr Jun told us in a conspiratorial whisper. "You're all such bad, negligent parents, making your father take care of all the kids. Not that I mind," he chuckled and I shivered. "Yina," he said and I automatically sat up straight.
Mr Jun stroked my cheek.
"I'm glad you're looking so much better. You really love my sons, don't you? Don't worry. As long as you treat them well and give birth to more children for them and me, I'll leave you all alone. I'll tell my daughter and youngest son that their mummy was very sick and had to go away to recover. I won't let them feel unwanted or hated."
Sihao and Siming were shaking, but didn't say anything or make a move.
"You boys don't want to greet your father anymore?" Mr Jun asked the boys in a sharp tone.
"Dad," the boys immediately called out.
"Good boys. You both look after Yina. She's such a good and obedient girl now. I've helped you iron out the wrinkles. Her health isn't so good, so I'll have to trouble you to take care of her. If neither of you make her pregnant within the next two years, I'm going to have to take her back."
That made all three of us shudder and the children in my arms looked up at me with confusion.
"Nanny, go take Yina to the toilet to do a pregnancy test," Mr Jun ordered.
The reticent carer appeared from somewhere and took the children, putting them in the arms of the other helpers. I was then led away by the old woman while the boys were beckoned by their father into another corner to chat.
After the pregnancy test came out positive, Mr Jun was more excited than the boys. They were happy, sure, but Mr Jun's presence had really ruined the joy of the moment. As for me, I felt my mood droop lower, wondering if I would be confined again. There was no way I was ever going to be able to finish my studies and get a job.
I had really become the baby making machine Mr Jun had planned for me.
It was as if I shut down.
I vaguely remembered a doctor scolding people.
"I told you last time. Her body is worn out and needs a longer time to recover. Her mental health is even worse. Control yourself next time and use protection or I'll report you for domestic abuse. How is she supposed to have a healthy pregnancy in this state?"
I had no recollection of the pregnancy or the birth this time either.
Somehow, I found myself back in the same doctor's clinic. It seemed I was pregnant again.
"This has to stop," the doctor said. "The poor woman's body can barely take it anymore. See these test results. Do you know what all this means? Your family is going to kill her at this rate. We are living in the modern era now. Women have rights. Daughters-in-law are not slaves of the household."
"This is the last time," Mr Jun's voice said. "I promise."
In the car, I was sat back and Mr Jun hummed happily.
"She's given me the children I want. She's given Sihao a son. This time, Siming will have a child through her. This buy was good value. I'm very glad I made the decision to bring her over, even with all the fuss she kicked up at the beginning. We'll allow her to recover after this birth. If any of us need to deal with our physiological needs, use a condom. We can't have that doctor reporting all of us. You boys won't be exempted. You're the ones who knocked her up this time and cooperated with me."
Time passed, but how long, I was not sure.
"Siming! Take your daughter away! She's eating mud again! Sihao, hurry up and take your son back. He's younger than his little aunt and little uncle and yet he dares to bully them?" Mr Jun scolded.
In the sound proof room with the one way window, I watched the children play and be cared for by their respective fathers. The generations were all well and truly screwed.
It was nice to watch the children play together. Nice to see the family getting along.
And then it wasn't. Where their mother could see but not hear them, they continued to play with their nannies. Their mother watched in agony.
Mr Jun cuffed his sons to one wall and showed his sons how to make me scream and make me work harder. Then he forced each son to torture me. He stood over the three of us, with a whip, ensuring we did as we were told. The boys whispered apologies in my ears.
And then Mr Jun took over, riding me so hard and fast that I passed out.
We were back in the doctor's office receiving another scolding.
"We used condoms this time," Mr Jun said in a plaintive tone. "We can't help it if she's so fertile."
"Condoms are not one hundred percent effective," the doctor shouted. "I'm glad that you've managed to spare her for three years, but every time I see her, I'm seeing her health deteriorating. She lives like a zombie. I doubt she even understands what is going on. The medications aren't helping much. If your family loves and cherishes her, you need to take better care of her."
The doctor took a moment to catch his breath.
"Wait," he froze. "You said 'we'? Are all three of you having sex with her? You are? Please excuse me. Excuse my French."