Right now, Horsey, Magni, Modi, and I are all lying down, gazing at the fruity night sky.
"I'm still hungry!" Modi complains, his stomach adding to his grievances.
"Well, on our way here, we did see some things we could eat, but they looked too weird to try," I remarked.
"Who cares! It's naught about how it looks but how it tastes!" Magni retorted.
"Something just occurred to me," Modi said.
"What is it?" Magni responded.
"Headless Knight, do ye ever get hungry?" Modi inquired.
"Hmm, now that you mention it, I don't think I do," I replied.
"Because back when we were with grandfather, we'd be eatin' fish from the ocean, but ye never ate," Modi recalled.
"Are ye stupid, Modi? That's 'cause he didn't have a head back then to eat. Which means no mouth to put food inside," Magni interjected.
"That is very true, but at the same time, I feel like even if I did have a head, I still wouldn't eat," I said.
"Huuuuh! Why wouldn't ye eat?! Food is amazin'! It's like the second best thing after fightin'—actually, not the third best thing," Magni remarked.
"Then what's the second best after fighting?" Modi asked.
"Sex!" Magni replied.
"Hmm? I do hear that, but I'll still put food above sex, personally," Modi said.
"Really? Not me, I love me women!" Magni exclaimed.
"Okay! Back to the original topic! And as I was saying, I don't think I ever feel hungry or, at the same time, ever feel full. It just feels like I'm always satisfied," I revealed.
"Alright, alright, that's nice, now back to talking about women!" Magni brushed me off.
Then I got a feeling from Horsey.
"What's my type of women?" I blurted out loud.
"Ouuu! That's the question I wanna hear!" Magni exclaimed, whistling excitedly.
"Nice going, Horsey!" Modi mentioned, which Horsey reciprocated with a grin and wink.
Sheeesh! This question is kind of embarrassing. My type of woman? I don't know the answer to that question. I'm still trying to figure out if I ever had a lover in this life, since I've lost all my memories. Okay, I'll just say what comes to mind.
"I would say my type of woman is someone aggressive, stubborn, who sometimes doesn't listen but also listens... sometimes..."
"Sometimes?" Magni and Modi said simultaneously, while Horsey raised an eyebrow.
"But also very heroic and has some sense of justice," I finished my sentence.
The whole vibe became quiet as everyone stared at the colorful stars.
...
...
"Erm, why did everyone go quiet? Did I say something wrong?" I said nervously.
"Nothing. It's just that when I asked that question, I thought ye were gonna talk 'bout looks, well that's what I meant when I asked," Magni said.
"Oh! In that case then I think for looks it would be—!"
As I was about to continue my sentence, everyone began to panic, hushing me from saying anything more.
"What's going on guys? You're all moving weird," I said, feeling uncomfortable with everyone's reaction.
"We don't want to hear ye describin' the looks of a guy! None of us swing that way!" Modi said.
"Huuuh?! A guy?! Where the hell did you guys hear that from?!"
"When we asked ye what type of women ye like, ye said aggressive, stubborn, and justice," Magni explained.
"That all sounds like traits from a man," Modi added.
"Except the part when ye said 'sometimes doesn't listen'; at that point, we thought there was hope that ye might still like women," Magni said.
"You guys are making fun of me! Horsey, tell them it isn't true!"
Suddenly, a sense of fear emerged from my chest.
"HUH? WHY ARE YOU SCARED?! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FEEL A SENSE OF REGRET?" I got slightly annoyed as I'm being teased.
"Anyway, me type of women be a lady who be extremely tall but with a big ass!" Magni expressed.
"Oho! But that don't beat women who be petite with nice thighs!" Modi said.
"C'mon guys, I'm sure there's more to women than loo—"
"Black Horsey! What be yer type?" Magni completely disregarded what I was about to say as he spoke over, which I felt was intentional.
Then I felt something from Horsey.
"Huh? You like dark-skinned women with big bums and big breasts, and height doesn't matter to you as long as they're just that?!" I repeated exactly what I felt from Horsey.
"A true man of culture!" Magni and Modi said simultaneously in awe.
"But you're a horse!" I said out loud, bewildered.
"Oh! You were talking about your female horses? Wait, you guys refer to your horses as women? Now that I said that out loud, that was kinda dumb of me," I said, chuckling.
"Indeed, very stupid," Magni said.
"Maybe ye need to stop hangin with us," Modi said.
"Oh, hush it, both of you! But seriously, you guys liking a woman is more about the inside than the out—"
"I'M HUNGRY!"
"ME TOO!"
And again, I've been intentionally cut off from speaking. Let's leave the remaining of that topic for another time.
"Why don't we eat those glowing plants over there? They seem to produce some sort of green, honey-looking balls," Magni said while his stomach kept on making noises.
"Ewww! No way I'm eating those!" I said, feeling grotesquely.
"Why?" Magni said, confusedly.
"Because they look like green, slimy snot! No way I'm eating it!"
Well, it's not like ye need to eat, so suit yourself. Let's go, boys!"
Which instantly, Magni, Modi, and even Horsey went towards the neon plants.
"Hey! Horsey, you're just like me, I think, but you don't really need to eat, do you?" I said.
Then I felt a feeling from Horsey.
"You're just curious to find out what they really taste like?" I said out loud, the response catching me off guard from Horsey.
A couple of minutes passed, and they returned with a huge load of green slime balls, gently wobbling as they placed them on the ground.
"Okay! Time to feast!" Magni exclaimed, and everyone, except for me, began to eat.
"Hmm! I knew these taste like honey!" Magni said as he rapidly devoured the green slime balls.
"These be too good! Too, too good!" Modi exclaimed, a look of satisfaction on his face as he stuffed himself with them.
I glanced to see what Horsey thought, but he seemed too busy drilling his mouth on the mountain of green slime balls he'd collected.
Are they really that good? Now I'm curious.
I grabbed a slime ball from one of Horsey's piles, hesitating at first, but then I smelled it, giving off a sweet scent.
"Okay, here I go."
I took a bite of it, and it gushed inside my mouth, making me feel slightly grotesque, but suddenly, as it went down my throat...
"THIS IS DELICIOUS! IT DOES TASTE LIKE HONEY!"
"I told ye," Magni said with his mouth full.
I joined the boys, stuffing my mouth with the slime balls.
A short while passed, and everyone's stomach was the size of a mountain as we lay down on our backs, staring into the night skies.
"Man! That was good!" I exclaimed.
"The best meal I've had in a long while!" Magni said.
"You say that every time ye eat," Modi pointed out.
"BUURRRP!"
A thunderous burp erupted from Horsey, echoing throughout the area.
"Hahaha! That be spectacular! I can compete with that!" Magni said, preparing himself to unleash a monstrous burp. "BRAAAAAAAAAAAP!"
"Whoa, that was a scary one! Haha! Now it's my—"
Before I could finish, Modi unleashed one. "BWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"
For a moment, the ground quivered beneath our feet, and even the moon seemed to glance down, startled by the thunderous roar of Modi's burp. But soon, it returned to its celestial slumber.
"WOW! I didn't know you had that in you, Modi!" I exclaimed, impressed by the display.
"Even Horsey found it impressive," Modi remarked, scratching his head with a satisfied grin.
"Aye, I do try, haha! But now it's your turn, Headless Knight," he challenged.
I focused, closing my eyes, feeling the anticipation of everyone around me. I concentrated on my stomach, feeling the gas build up and surge upwards. With a forceful burst...
"Kya!"
I looked around to see disappointed faces, even the moon seemed to scowl, removing its shades as if ready to reprimand me with a celestial spit.
"So... erm, guys, how do we know if what we ate is even edible? It didn't look normal... I think," I stumbled over my words, breaking the awkward silence.
"Of course it's edible! Everything in this realm is fodder for the belly!" Magni declared enthusiastically.
"Aye! In this realm, hunger is a stranger! There's a bounty of sustenance at every turn!" Modi added.
Thankfully, the atmosphere changed. But then I sensed Horsey.
"What do you mean you haven't forgotten about my suspicious burp? Oh, hush it!" I muttered under my breath.
Modi continued speaking. Not only do we feast without end, but the food never spoils in these lands! Is this not the hall of the gods?"
"Are you telling me food never spoils in this place? That doesn't make sense. Everything has an expiration date. You can't convince me that food doesn't rot in this realm," I challenged.
"I pledge upon the names of my forefathers, by Thor's hammer and the wisdom of Odin, that the food of this realm remains untainted by decay! We've trod these lands far longer than you, and never witnessed an apple succumb to rot." Modi affirmed.
"Aye, 'tis true! Ye can leave a half-eaten meat under the sun for days, and it won't spoil! It'll taste as fresh as the moment ye first took a bite!" Magni said.
"But how?! That doesn't make any sense! Are you trying to say the food is somewhat immortal? How can food not rot? It's part of the life cycle, am I wrong?"
"Settle yerself, Headless Knight. Why be surprised now? Since settin' foot in this forest, ye've witnessed the most outlandish sights. And yet, 'tis the notion that food never spoils here that bewilders ye the most?" Magni said.
He has a good point, but still.
All of a sudden, the urge to take a poo came upon me.
"Alright, boys, nature calls. I need somewhere to do it," I said.
"Oh, ye can just handle yer business o'er yonder," Magni points.
"Nah, you guys will be able to see me half-naked and could probably smell it," I said.
"So?" Modi said.
"What do you mean 'so'? That's disgusting!" I exclaimed.
"But we're all men here! Ain't no man gonna be tempted by the sight of yer schlong," Magni chuckles.
"That is disgusting! Don't even say it! You know what? I will just exit through the entrance and come back in when I'm done," I said.
"Ye needn't go through all that trouble, but do as ye please," Modi said.
As I approached the entrance, I really don't understand those boys. They were creeped out when they thought I was talking about a man when talking about my type of women, but they wouldn't mind seeing below my waist, and worse, seeing me poo! Ew!
As I was about to take a step through the entrance, I got a feeling from Horsey, which made me smile.
"Don't worry, Horsey. If anything happens to me, I'll be sure to call for your help," I muttered.
As I stepped through the entrance, I returned back to daytime and looked for somewhere private to take a dump. Once I found a nice and quiet place, I took the best dump of my life, which wouldn't make sense since I have no memory of taking any other dump. As I finished, I found a large palm leaf and used it to wipe my ass. But then it dawned on me. I can't just leave my poo here. What if some creature accidentally steps on it or slips because of it? The thought of it is disgusting. So I began digging a small hole and then buried my poo.
Now I needed to wash my hands, so I found a nearby lake and dipped them in to cleanse them.
With clean hands, I headed back into the cave. Along the way, I spotted a tree bearing enticing, delicious-looking fruits. In the past, I might have been hesitant, but after tasting
those green honey slime balls, I was now open to trying new things, despite not feeling hungry.
Approaching the tree, I began to pick the fruits. As I did, one fruit caught my eye—it appeared as though it were being consumed alive, its appearance so hideous it made me nauseous.
Recalling Magni and Modi's assertion that food doesn't rot in this realm, I wondered if this was just how this particular fruit looked. However, upon inspecting the others I had picked, all appeared fresh and alive except for this one.
Deciding to bring it back to the boys for their opinion, I hesitated to touch it directly due to its repulsive appearance. Instead, I gathered a bunch of large leaves and used them to pick up and wrap the fruit. Ensuring to keep it separate from the others, I brought it back with me to the cave.