Later, the party was in full swing, with music playing and people scattered around. Leonard and Sheldon stood near a drinks table, while Sheldon watched the costumes around with a critical eye.
Leonard, holding a drink, glanced over at Penny on the other side of the room. She was laughing and chatting with some friends, and he sighed.
"Sheldon, I really want to make a good impression on Penny. Do you think I'm doing well so far?" Leonard asked, trying to sound casual.
Sheldon, without taking his eyes off the costumes, responded practically, "Well, if making a good impression involves not doing anything embarrassing so far, then yes, I think you're on the right track."
Leonard rolled his eyes. "It's not just that, Sheldon. I want her to see that I'm… interesting, you know? Someone she'd want to go out with."
Sheldon finally looked at Leonard, expressionless. "Leonard, the probability of making a positive impression in an environment like this is minimal, given the social variables involved. Besides, you shouldn't worry so much about impressions. It's scientifically proven that when you try to make an impression, you usually fail. It's basically the observation effect."
Leonard sighed, knowing that asking Sheldon for relationship advice was like asking a robot about feelings. "Thanks, Sheldon. Very helpful."
Sheldon nodded, satisfied. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could help."
Leonard took a sip of his drink and cast another glance at Penny. "I just want her to see that I'm more than the nerd who lives across the hall."
Sheldon: "I don't see why you'd want to pretend to be someone you clearly are not. You are, in fact, a nerd who lives across the hall."
As Leonard and Sheldon continued their conversation, Howard suddenly appeared next to them, flailing his arms as if trying to dance, but clearly failing. "Hey, guys! Are you seeing this? The girls are everywhere tonight!" He spoke with his usual enthusiasm, despite clearly not attracting any attention from women.
Leonard raised an eyebrow, looking at his friend. "And have you talked to any of them, Howard?"
Howard shrugged, still moving his arms in a bizarre manner. "Ah, you know how it is, Leonard. I'm just warming up. They can't resist the charm of a guy who knows how to move his arms like I do." He winked at Leonard as if it made any sense.
Sheldon looked at Howard's awkward performance, shaking his head. "That doesn't seem like an efficient warm-up for social interaction. To be honest, it doesn't even look like dancing."
Leonard, ignoring Sheldon, looked around and asked, "And Raj? Where is he?"
Howard laughed and pointed to the dance floor in the middle of the room. "Over there."
Raj, with a drunk smile on his face, shouted to the crowd, "Everyone, pay attention! I'm going to do something… epic!"
The crowd around erupted in applause and cheers. They cheered as he, visibly unsteady, tried to keep his composure.
Raj looked around, stumbling a bit, but managed to steady himself and pointed at one of the decorative pillars in the hall. "I… am going to climb this!" He announced enthusiastically, pointing to the column with neon light strips decorating the party.
Howard's eyes widened in surprise. "This is going to be interesting."
Leonard: "I don't think this is a good idea."
But before anyone could stop him, Raj was already gripping the column, trying to climb. Despite swaying, he held on tightly, attracting more and more attention. The crowd around cheered even more: "Go, Raj! Go, Raj!"
Against all odds, he managed to climb a few meters up the column, waving his arms as if he had scaled Everest. "I'm the king of the world!" He shouted.
Raj slowly climbed down the column, still with a drunken smile on his face. When he finally touched the ground again, the crowd around applauded vigorously. "Raj! Raj! Raj!" He raised his arm in a victorious gesture, as if he had just performed the most impressive act of the night.
Leonard looked at Howard, incredulous, and commented, "Okay, that was… unexpectedly cool."
Howard shrugged, laughing. "The guy climbed a column drunk and still came out as a hero. He's a legend now."
Sheldon, unable to comprehend the excitement of the scene, simply sighed. "This only reinforces my thesis that parties are entirely irrational and unnecessary environments."
Leonard was still laughing at Raj's antics when, glancing to the side, his smile began to fade. In the corner of the room, he spotted Penny… talking to her ex-boyfriend.
"Sheldon, look at that." Leonard discreetly pointed toward Penny and her ex.
Sheldon followed Leonard's gaze, frowning. "Why did she even bring him to the party? He's a complete thug."
Leonard sighed. "I have no idea… but look at him, Sheldon! He's just in a loincloth, literally walking around the party in his underwear, and people still find it amusing."
Sheldon looked at Leonard, confused. "That, Leonard, is the typical behavior of an alpha male in a common social context. Uninhibited, reckless… and generally disregarded by those with a minimum of common sense."
Leonard sighed, feeling frustration build. He remembered Sheldon's earlier words about being "just the nerd from across the door." And now, seeing Penny laughing with her ex, those words seemed to echo in his mind.
"I can't be just that," he thought.
Taking a deep breath, Leonard made a decision. He wasn't going to just stand by, watching as "the nerd from across the door." He started walking toward Penny and her ex, his heart racing and a faint hope that, at least, he would capture her attention in a different way. Maybe he could break the nerd neighbor label and show that he had more to offer.
As he approached, he felt Sheldon's gaze fixed on him. "Leonard, this doesn't seem logical. What are you going to do?"
Leonard glanced quickly back and gave a nervous smile. "Something a bit impulsive, I guess."
Sheldon blinked, not understanding the concept. "Impulsivity rarely results in something positive. I suggest caution."
"So, this is the infamous Kurt?" Howard whispered to Leonard, with an ironic tone. "Wow, man. Look at this guy's arms. They look like tree trunks! You… don't stand a chance."
"Howard, this isn't a wrestling match," Leonard whispered back, trying to stay focused. "And honestly, I don't need muscles to compete with him. I have something he doesn't: intelligence."
Howard raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying Leonard's attempt to pump himself up. "Oh, sure, Leonard, because you're going to win her heart with a quantum physics equation or a probability graph?"
Leonard looked at Howard with a mix of irritation and nervousness. "Look, I know he has all this strong and confident guy thing going on, but being smart has its advantages. I can have a real conversation with her, discuss ideas and concepts he wouldn't even be able to pronounce."
Howard shrugged but couldn't hide the sarcasm. "Sure, because nothing says 'romance' like discussing string theory."
Leonard ignored the comment and took another step toward Penny and Kurt, mentally preparing for the interaction.
He approached, trying to sound casual. "Hey, Penny."
She turned with a friendly smile. "Leonard! Hi! Look, this is Kurt, remember him?"
Leonard tried to mask his discomfort, but his eyes couldn't stop focusing on Kurt, who crossed his arms and looked at Leonard like he was an annoying mosquito.
"Of course, how could I forget?" Leonard said, forcing a smile.
Kurt raised an eyebrow, showing little patience. "Hey, nerds."
Before the tension could escalate further, one of Penny's friends called her from across the room. Penny glanced at Leonard and Kurt and said, somewhat hurriedly, "Oh, crap! I'll be right back. You guys can talk while I'm gone, okay?" She quickly left, leaving Leonard face-to-face with Kurt, who didn't look friendly at all.
Kurt, still with a disdainful expression, looked directly at Leonard and said, in a threatening tone, "Listen, nerd. I suggest you stay away from Penny. She's way more than you can handle." With one last look, he turned and was about to walk away.
Leonard decided he couldn't let the situation slide without saying something. He took a deep breath and, with a defiant smile, said, "You know, Kurt, I've always admired people who can be content with… simplicities. It must be liberating not to have to deal with things like self-criticism, emotional depth, or, you know… critical thinking."
Sheldon and Howard had already started trying to stifle their giggles. Kurt looked at Leonard with a confused expression, trying to figure out if that was a compliment or an insult.
Leonard continued, with a thoughtful expression. "I imagine that for you, the world is very… basic. Black and white. A straight line with no deviations or… you know, nuances."
Sheldon whispered to Howard, "If he gets it, Leonard's toast."
Howard nodded but couldn't hold back a muffled laugh.
Kurt frowned, clearly sensing something was off but not quite sure what.
Leonard, noticing the confusion on the big guy's face, continued in a friendly tone, as if trying to help: "Don't take it the wrong way, Kurt. Everyone has their qualities. Sure, some are more… tangible than others. Like, muscles. That's something easy to see and… well, that's it. It's like a book with few pages. You see the cover and already know the content. Pretty straightforward, no surprises."
Kurt blinked a few times, slowly processing Leonard's words. "Are you trying to call me dumb, dude?"
Sheldon, still whispering to Howard, remarked, "He's almost there." Then, seeing Kurt's expression turn more threatening, added, "You're toast."
Leonard, still trying to stay calm, responded, with a false innocence: "Me? Of course not! I'm just saying some people have… very obvious skills. Others, like the ability to understand sarcasm or recognize subtleties, are more… rare."
Kurt finally caught on to the insult and took a threatening step forward. Leonard immediately raised his hands, "But, Kurt, think about it… if the brain is a muscle like any other, who knows, with a little practice, you might start using it too."
Kurt grabbed Leonard by the collar, lifting him as panic overtook Leonard's smaller frame. "Let's settle this… diplomatically!" he said, his voice trembling, trying to sound confident.
Howard, seeing the scene, widened his eyes and approached Sheldon. "Dude, this is not going to end well. He's gonna get crushed," he murmured, nervously.
Sheldon, with his ever-analytical gaze, also felt the gravity of the situation. "Based on the evidence, Leonard will need more than his intelligence to get out of this… maybe a helmet."
Howard moved closer, almost trying to think of something, anything. "We need to do something. Maybe… shout 'fire!'? People run when there's a fire, right?"
Sheldon looked at Howard with disbelief. "Howard, the last thing Leonard needs right now is a mass evacuation. He needs… a miracle."
At that moment, Raj, still completely drunk, stumbled onto the scene. He looked around and approached with a drink in hand.
"Hey! Let him go, musclehead!" Raj said, his tone firm despite his visible imbalance.
Kurt, holding Leonard by the collar, shot a disdainful look at Raj. "And what are you going to do? This is between me and this little man."
Raj, swaying to face Kurt, spoke with drunken confidence: "Look… Let him go now, or I'm gonna do something I'll regret!"
Without thinking twice, Raj threw the drink in his cup directly into Kurt's face. Silence fell over the room for a moment as Kurt glared furiously at Raj.
"You're finished now," Kurt roared, his fists clenching, taking a step forward.
Sheldon, looking at Howard, said quietly, "Yes, definitely toast."
Raj tried to raise his fists, imitating a fighting stance, but was clearly off balance. When Kurt threw a punch, Raj, unintentionally, stumbled to the side, causing Kurt to miss the blow and punch the air.
But Kurt threw another punch right after, straight to Raj's face. The impact was strong, but Raj, completely drunk, only felt his body stagger backward. He awkwardly spun around, stumbling to the drink table, where suddenly, his gaze met that of a very attractive woman.
Raj smiled. "Hi… how's it going?"
The woman blinked, surprised, but Raj had already been yanked back to reality as Kurt approached again, ready to throw another punch.
At that moment, Howard decided to act. Lacking much skill, he ran to Kurt, trying to grab his leg. "I'm holding him, Leonard! Go, do something!"
Leonard looked around, clearly panicked, and not sure what to do. "I… I'm not much of a fighter, Howard!"
Sheldon, observing the chaos, thought of a desperate idea. "FIRE! FIRE!" he shouted, trying to make people scatter, but no one paid him any attention. He looked around, frustrated. "Why isn't anyone reacting to a fake fire emergency?"
Howard, still holding onto Kurt's leg, yelled, "Leonard, throw something at him, quick!"
Leonard, without much thought, grabbed the first thing he saw—a Styrofoam cup—and threw it at Kurt.
The cup hit Kurt's shoulder, having no effect. Howard looked at Leonard, incredulous. "Seriously? A Styrofoam cup? What do you think that's gonna do, Leonard? Embarrass him into surrendering?"
Raj looked at the table and saw the last standing cup, miraculously still intact. In a swift move, he grabbed the cup, downed the alcohol in one go. The last traces of a timid, insecure Raj began to disappear, giving way to a mix of his memories and David—a personality he had absorbed some time ago. David knew how to handle situations like this, having dealt with jealous husbands before and not shying away from trouble.
He shot a firm look at Kurt, and without hesitation, charged at him.
Kurt, impatient, swung his arm trying to land another punch, but this time Raj dodged with surprising agility, stepping aside and narrowly avoiding the blow. He quickly closed in and shoved Kurt's chest, using his body to gain advantage. Kurt stumbled backward.
Not giving Kurt time to recover, Raj charged again. He grabbed Kurt, and the two began to push each other in a tight, physical struggle. Kurt tried to grab Raj by the collar, but Raj, agile, hit Kurt's hands and pushed him against the table, causing a loud thud.
Kurt, furious, grabbed Raj's arm and tried to twist it, but Raj, still under the influence, barely felt the pain. He yanked his arm free, and with a quick movement, headbutted Kurt's chest. The impact made Kurt stagger backward.
Howard, seeing the situation, ran up to them again and grabbed Kurt's leg. "Go, Raj, I'm holding him!" Howard shouted, holding on as tightly as he could. Kurt tried to break free, swinging his leg to get loose, but Raj took advantage of the distraction to land two quick punches to Kurt's jaw.
Kurt, still furious, managed to free Howard's leg and lunged at Raj, finally landing a strong punch to his stomach. Raj staggered backward but, instead of falling, stayed on his feet.
Raj, not wasting any time, threw himself back at Kurt, both of them crashing to the ground together. They rolled on the floor, exchanging punches and shoves, but Raj, even without much technique, kept going. He punched wherever he could—face, chest, Kurt's arms—who was fighting to get free.
In the midst of the chaos, Raj managed to get up first, panting, stumbling a bit but not stopping. He grabbed Kurt's collar tightly and, in one swift move, pulled him up only to slam him back down, making him crash into the table. The sound echoed through the room, and for a moment, everyone stood watching.
Kurt tried to get up, but Raj, even drunk, was still quick enough to give him one last shove, throwing him back to the ground with a dull thud. This time, Kurt didn't get up immediately. He lay there, breathing heavily, clearly dazed.
Raj, with a satisfied smile, shook his head while looking at Kurt on the floor. He raised the empty cup in a "cheers" gesture and, stumbling, went back to the group, as if nothing had happened.
"He… won?" Leonard asked, still processing.
Howard, with a nervous smile, replied, "I… think so."
Sheldon, watching the scene, simply said, "Well, that was unexpected."