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Just A Regular Guy in the Apocalypse

FunnyPayload
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Synopsis
At the age of 19 Rowan was nothing special. He went to college and drowned in debt in order to get a job. He got decent grades and tried to make the most of it. One day an announcement from the president came on T.V. "My constituents I am declaring a state of national emergency. We have confirmed a virus of which the symptoms align with zombies from popular media. Stay in your homes or barricade wherever you are until the authorities can get the situation under control." Stunned, all that Rowan could say in that moment was "At least I don't have to worry about student loans anymore." *Authors Note* Hey guys just wanted to try this out because all of the zombie apocalypse novels that I've read seem to edgy protagonists who have been wronged by society and don't care whether people die. so this protagonist is probably gonna be more on the serious side with comedic moments. If this synopsis sounds like something you want me to expand upon leave a comment. I'll probably start writing chapters anyway, but I am busy so if there is enough demand I'll make some time and at least get some chapters out. Really just having some fun hope you enjoy.
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Chapter 1 - The Beginning(Pilot)

April 8th 2024

A gaggle of college kids were sitting around a table playing uno in the lounge of their college dorm waiting for the eclipse to arrive. It was getting later so they went outside to witness the eclipse that everyone was talking about. Rowan in the center was contemplating to himself " Man, it's the first time in a while everything seems like it's going alright." As he said that the time was coming for the eclipse.

The world got darker and when Rowan noticed that his friends stopped talking he looked to his left and right and noticed that each and every one of them started to change. Their skin paled and shriveled under the darkness. "Are guys alright?" Rowan tentatively asked.

This only seemed to alert them to his presence which they were initially ignoring. Quickly they all lunged at him to which he sprinted away startled by what was happening. "What the fuck guys!" Rowan shouted as his legs carried him as fast as they possibly could with his six previous friends hot on his tail.

They swiped at him left, right, and center with him only being able to just barely dodge their attempts to grab him. Running through the doors to the dorm he grabbed a chair and shoved one of the legs through the door handle in order to bar it shut. The zombies slammed into the door nearly busting it off its hinges. "That's not gonna last long, shit." Rowan said before turning around and noticing that his friends weren't the only ones who turned and he was now trapped with the dorms previous inhabitants blocking the exits. By this point aware that he was on the frontline of a zombie apocalypse.

Rowan shouted as he sprinted through the halls towards his room so he could get his bearings "Fuck I should've done more cardio, did Zombieland not teach me anything?!" He could see his room at the end of the hallway blocked by his previous roommate Keith now turned flesh eater. "Goddamnit Keith, even in death your an ass!" Building up momentum he started running even faster his lungs nearly giving out and dropkicked Keith out of the way. Quickly recovering and closing the open door of his dorm and locking it behind him.

It took him several minutes to catch his breath as he heard Keith shambling around outside in the hallway. " How did I end up in this situation, guess I should start putting supplies together to see what I need." Rowan got together all the food and water he could find which amounted to a box of granola bars a 6 pack of sodas and some gummies. "The gummies wont give me much nutrition, but at least its some dense energy." It was lucky he grabbed some stuff from the gas station before all this happened.

fzztzftzffzt... His T.V forcibly turned on and a broadcast started play out. "My constituents I am declaring a state of national emergency. We have confirmed a virus of which the symptoms align with zombies from popular media. Stay in your homes or barricade wherever you are until the authorities can get the situation under control. We have the CDC actively working on determining the origin of this virus." Rowan hearing this commented "At least I don't have to worry about student loans anymore." 

*Authors note* 'He said the thing!'

'I've seen enough zombie movies to know that help isn't coming. I'm gonna have to make some kind of weapon to get out of here' Grabbing the wooden chair he used for his desk he broke off the leg and sharpened it using his multitool. 'A spike is better for the reach' he thought. Throwing all of his supplies into his school backpack he readied himself for his next endeavor.

It was time to try and get to his truck which had his toolkit and some other supplies that would be useful. Peeking through the door he saw his previous roommate at one end of the hall and a couple zombies blocking the staircase down. 'here we go' suddenly bursting through his door he rushed to the staircase with Keith sprinting after him and the two at the staircase sprinting towards him. 'Great I got the sprinting kind of zombies'

He dodged 2 of them, but just as he was about to go down the first step one of them grabbed him from behind. Jamming the spike he crafted through it's skull he pushed it into the other and nearly jumped down the stairs with how fast he was running. Running through the floors he eventually got back to the ground floor and saw the door blocked by about 10 zombies who were lounging when the eclipse happened. 

"Fuck I'm gonna have to try a classic" He muttered. Taking a notebook from his back pack he tossed it like a frisbee as far as he could in the opposite direction of the door from around a corner where the zombies couldn't sense him.

Hearing the notebook hit the floor flat the zombies rushing through the lounge to the other side of the room looking confused when their wasn't a fresh meal. 

Sensing the opportunity Rowan sneaked himself around noticing the zombies didn't sense him even if they were looking at him. 'Seems they can't see that well.' closing the door behind him slowly as to not make any noise the world outside was drastically different to how he remembered it.

Building were on fire there were a few people running for their lives and military trucks were emptied with the national guard armory nearby completely overwhelmed. 

"I'm fucked"

The End